A/N: You guys wanted something to get them talking, well...
The drive up to the small town, nestled in the thick woods of upstate New York, is silent. It's not tense nor awkward. Just silent, like neither of them know what to say to each other, how to continue.
Castle can feel the small town feeling as he looks down the streets and boroughs. Men walking dogs in the warm sunlight of early spring, happily married couples sitting outside of local eateries they've probably been going to for years, a mother with a grocery bag in one hand and her six-year-old son in the other, the people here seem more connected, down to Earth, more human.
Beckett can feel the silence between them like a deep, bottomless chasm with not even a rickety rope bridge to try and get across to him. Has she really pushed him so far away that not even inviting him to the same bed to cuddle her to sleep will bring him back? What else does she have to do to get him to a place where he'd listen and actually believe what she has to say? It can't be an act of desperation, a last-ditch effort to try and save whatever it is that they have together.
Because she does want more.
And all morning, in the back of his mind, Castle has been mulling over everything. He's watched her more closely than she'd ever be comfortable with if she ever knew the true extent. And now, he can't help but notice things. She didn't fight him when he offered her his shirt last night, didn't try to roll her shoulders back and just sit in her wet clothes out of pride. She wasn't mad that he threw his hand, even though she obviously found out before they put the cards away. She invited him to sleep in the same bed as her, after she's just showed more vulnerability and weakness than she'd ever show to anyone.
There's an explanation for all of it, though. A rational reason and easy way to explain away her behavior, and he can't afford to be wrong. He can't afford to think now that all this means she's actually ready. Because if he starts going down that path, he'd throw himself at her and not look back. And if he does that and he's wrong, admitting he was right all along will be hard to recover from.
As they near the center of town, Beckett looks around the town. "So, we just have to stop at the local sheriff's office to get access to the scene."
"That should be fun." Castle grumbles as she pulls into a small parking lot, with white, green, and tan sheriff's patrol cars fill a few spaces. Castle and Beckett step out and he takes this opportunity to take a deep breath of the cool, fresh air.
They make their way across the small parking lot, quickly falling into step with each other and Beckett takes a quick look over to him. "Thanks for coming, Castle."
He looks over, squinting as the sunlight shines in his eyes, offering her a small smile. "Well, it is nice out here, anyway."
She nods as she steps onto the curb, just a few feet away from the glass door with a large police emblem decal on it. "Yeah, my dad's cabin isn't too far from here actually."
Suddenly being hit with that dark feeling of loneliness that comprised of those two months, followed by all those insecurities he swallowed down just so he could be with her in some capacity, deciding that it was better than not being with her at all, he feels his shoulders tighten, his emotions growing cold. "I'm surprised you didn't stay longer." He says, grabbing the edge of the door she just swung open.
"Well, I was going a bit stir crazy after two months." She halfway lies. Those two months are a blur to her. The days went by slow, but the time went by quick.
"Right." He semi-groans as the door slides closed behind him.
Beckett steps up to the front desk, where a tall, slightly muscular man in a black polo shirt with a badge hanging out of the pocket is standing, looking down at a set of paperwork. He looks up, and Castle can't help but notice the way the man's squared-off jaw lifts into a smile, not even bothering to look over her shoulder to see him.
Beckett moves to take her badge out of her breast pocket. "I'm Detective Beckett with the NYPD," she says and slips her badge back as the man behind the desk is putting his hands on his waist, "and this is my partner, Richard Castle. I believe my captain has already contacted you about the Claire Daniels murder."
The man still doesn't look back to acknowledge him, and with that, Castle can't even stand the sight of what he knows is about to ensue between these two, and decides to shove his hands into his pockets and turns to meander away from them, his heart in his throat.
"Yes, it's nice to meet you, Detective. Deputy Monroe." He says and extends his hand across the desk, shaking her hand gently while he flashes a smile, which Beckett can tell right away is a flirting smile. And she feels exactly what she feels every time this happens, especially now that she's let those words taste her tongue. Nothing. It's flattering, and he's handsome enough, and maybe a few years ago, she would have accepted it, but not now. The deputy leans back and crosses his arms, "it's a real shame to hear about Claire. She grew up around here."
"Well, we're starting to hit a dead-end in the case and we're looking for access to her office here in town." She says, motioning toward Castle, whose a ways away, looking away from them and is standing in front of a glass case full of commendations.
"You're in luck, Detective Beckett." He says with a smirk and moves around the desk, waving her back. She follows with a knitted brow, moving around the desk and reaching over, tapping her partner on the elbow.
"Castle." She says, receiving a blank look over his shoulder toward her. She nods her head off to the side, motioning him to follow her. She can hear him let out a hard sigh as he moves to follow her.
The deputy stops in the middle of the sheriff's office and nods over to the holding cell. "We got the guy already."
When Beckett's eyes find a man, looking early thirties at the most, wearing a pair of faded jeans, a green, army cargo jacket, and a thick layer of scruff with a short wave in his hair, passed out dead along with bench, she looks over to the deputy, smiling over at her. "I'm sorry?"
The deputy nods and looks back over to the man, still passed out in the holding cell bunk, "John Doe."
It's then that Beckett digs her phone out of her pocket. "Well, we'll get the Twelfth precinct to run his face through our database and-"
"No, no, Detective." He says with a chuckle. "His actual name... is John Doe."
And when she hears that, she feels another hard thwack of stupidity and realization hit her. She looks over to Castle, who's standing a little closer to her side than he has been, "When Claire's co-workers said her partner was a John Doe, the uni's must have thought that they meant they didn't know who he was."
Castle, with a cocked brow and curious expression, his mind finally moving with intrigue at the case, looks over from Beckett to the deputy. "Why's he in there?"
"Well, when we heard that you had ruled Claire's death a murder, we just so happened to pick this guy up last night for drunken and disorderly here at a local watering hole."
Looking over at yet another Mr. Perfect trying to win her over, Castle delves back into his mentality and pulls out his rapier wit. "Right, because drunken and disorderly conduct is so on par with first-degree murder."
"How exactly are you sure he's the one who killed Claire Daniels?" Beckett asks, bringing the deputy's attention back to the case at hand when she sees him look over to her partner with a deadpan brow.
The deputy looks over to her again, "Because that's her boyfriend."
"But we couldn't find anything that indicated she was seeing anyone." Beckett argues.
"Well," The deputy says and rolls his eyes, "they claimed to just be 'partners'," he says with air quotes before he crosses his arms back over his chest, "but everyone around here knew they had a thing going."
Castle can't help but feel his heart harden when he says that.
"Something tells me," The deputy starts and leans in close to Beckett, far too close for Castle's comfort, with his voice lowered, "that he had a bit of a guilty conscience. No one's seen him around here since last June. He comes back for one day and his girlfriend is killed?" He asks and smirks over to Beckett again, and Castle can feel his gut churn.
"Well, we'll need to question him, Deputy." Beckett says, feeling herself start to lean closer toward her partner slightly.
The deputy nods, flashing her another bright smile as he turns to move across the office. "We'll get him set up in the conference area. If you'll... follow me."
Beckett turns to follow, briefly turning to look over her shoulder to give Castle a sheepish smile. But Castle just looks too distant and hard to get to, a dull blankness in his eyes as they seem to look right through her. She watches him for a moment as he stares at her blankly and then looks passed her and over to the deputy before she concedes to his distance and moves across the office.
Castle watches as the deputy struts around the office confidently, puffing his chest out and flashing his teeth to her. It's a confidence that Castle can't muster up to save himself. When she turns away to follow him, he feels a cold chill go through his veins. He's exactly her type. And it's sickening, because it's not him. He shouldn't have come here. He should have just stayed at home. When he looks back over to the man they're about to question in the holding cell, seeing him stir a bit, he lets out another sigh and turns toward the small table against the wall with a coffee pot sitting on it. He grabs a small styrofoam cup and fills it to the brim.
When Beckett follows the deputy, seeing him turn the blinds closed to the windows of the small conference room, the deputy quickly finds her in the doorway, looking over the room with a seriousness in her brow. She can see him approach her out of the corner of her eye. "I-I'm uh... I hope I'm not being too forward, Detective." He says and follows her as she moves out of the doorway and back out into the office space. The deputy stops in front of her with a smile, "but maybe I could show you around town. Introduce you to some people who knew Claire."
She feels a mix of annoyance, flattery, and guilt shove its way into her blood, feeling a quick smile flash onto her face.
And Castle is watching from across the office as she does. She never smiled like that at him when they first met, or even their first few years working together. It was always just annoyed eye rolls, frustrated head shakes, and backhanded insults, calling him childish and hairbrained. He knows full well how much she hated him when they first met. And this sight is making his stomach turn to a rock. Three minutes and this stranger is making more progress with her than he has in four years.
But Beckett is trying to get him to stop as quick as she can. "I'm... flattered, deputy, but my partner and I are trying to get this case closed and get back home, so I'm gonna pass."
The smile is whipped off the deputy's face in a flash as his eyes go back over to Castle. She follows his eyes and sees Castle look down into a styrofoam cup with steam rising from it. "I'll go wake up our friend then."
When she comes back up to Castle, she isn't given a chance to explain before his voice is spitting cold venom at her. "So, when's the wedding?" He asks with a lift of his brow.
Her mental filter degrades, "Castle, will you lighten up? How loose do you think I am?" She spits back, her brow lowered in frustration with him. How much more does she have to do? His expression falls slightly, being taken aback by her reaction. "He's not even my type anyway." You are, she thinks to herself, being kept behind her mental filter.
When she shakes her head slightly and looks away, standing next to him, he lets out a small sigh. "Well, I guess you can blame a guy for trying." He says and looks back over to her with a soft smirk.
She meets his eyes and is quickly overtaken by a bright smile and a fit of silent giggles.
And Castle can't stop the swarm of butterflies breaking up the knot in his stomach when he sees it.
After a few minutes, the victim's partner is sat down in the conference room, and Castle and Beckett let him stir for a few more minutes before opening the door. He looks up with a tired, half-lidded gaze over heavily bagged eyes. "I'm Detective Kate Beckett with the NYPD, and this is my partner, Richard Castle." Beckett says as they both pull out chairs across from him.
Castle sets the coffee in front of him as he sits down, seeing the man look at him with a wondering expression. "Richard Castle as in 'Derrick Storm', Richard Castle?"
"Yeah, that's me." He says and leans back.
He nods, and grabs the cup in front of him, groggy. "I used to read those books. I've always wondered why you killed him off." He says with a slight slur just before he takes a quick sip of the sobering liquid.
"So..." Castle starts and leans forward on his arms, "your actual... legal name is John Doe?"
John groans in annoyance and rolls his head around, setting the cup back down. "Ugh... yes, my actual legally given name is John Doe. My family tree goes back to John Aldon on my mother's side. So, as you can imagine, 'John' occupies a lot of the branches." He says emotionlessly.
Beckett nods and opens the case file. "So... we're here to talk to you about Claire Daniels."
John's face is pulled into sadness as his shoulders sink. He doesn't respond and doesn't look up.
"We..." Castle begins, "hear that you two had a bit of a thing for each other."
John's shoulders jump slightly when he lets out a short chuckle. "Maybe in another life, but uh... no." He says and shakes his head, then looks up and nods his head toward the door to the room, "Despite what Smallville out there tells you, Claire and I were just partners. We weren't seeing each other." He says, another wave of sadness pulling his features down as he slunks down in his chair.
"So, I assume you know about Claire's death, then." Beckett says, folding her hands together on the table.
John nods in a small motion, not looking up to them. "I know. And," He says, lifting his hand to her, "before you accuse me, I've been overseas for the past eight months. I just got back two days ago and was held up at JFK all night by the TSA. They like to harass me every chance they get because of my name. And getting off a plane from Pakistan as John Doe tends to raise a few eyebrows in a few cubicles at the State Department. You can check with them, I didn't kill her."
Beckett nods, believing his story. "What can you tell us about Claire?"
John shrugs his shoulders a bit, still not meeting their eyes. "She was the best investigative reporter I've ever worked with."
"You an investigative reporter too?" Castle asks.
But John shakes his head, briefly looking up to meet Castle's eyes. "Claire was the investigator, I was just the guy who put everything into words for her. But... she was strong, fierce, dedicated..."
"You were in love with her, weren't you?" Castle asks.
Beckett's heart jumps into her throat, her eyes whipping over to Castle just before she looks back over and sees John look up to him with a deep sullen pull and a sharp pain in his eyes. John looks back down to the floor as he sinks deeper into his chair. "Madly."
Castle's heart goes out to him. He knows this kind of sadness, not to this extent but... he knows how it feels. "What happened?" Castle asks.
John lets out a small sigh and pushes himself up in his chair. "We were partners for a few years, and... after a while, I started to feel something deeper for her. I've always had a thing for firebrands, and Claire was always so unwavering in the face of overwhelming odds. She had a graceful strength that I came to admire, but... with that strength came the need to bury everything that she felt made her look weak. She always felt the need to swallow all of her vulnerabilities, and... in the kind of relationship we both knew I wanted, that couldn't happen. I mean, I was the first person she'd call if she got a hot lead on a story, but the last person she'd call if she was having trouble sleeping."
Castle feels his heart tug, John's story is hitting him in a familiar place.
And Kate can feel her heart twist, looking at this man's pain. "Did anything ever happen in Claire's life that may explain her behavior recently?" She asks.
"Claire's father was killed in a hit-and-run five years ago. Her and her father were about as close as a father and daughter could get, so... it hit her pretty hard. It would have been a random occurrence if she hadn't found out that the traffic cameras had been down for a system upgrade the day it happened and the guy was never caught. She thought that it couldn't have been a coincidence and she threw herself into investigating his death. Everyone told her to let it go, but..."
"You offered to help her." Castle finishes for him.
John nods again sadly. "I wanted to help her get closure. And after a few years of helping her and getting nowhere, I told her that it might be best to start accepting the fact that whoever killed her father may never be caught... which she took pretty hard. We didn't speak to each other for a few months after that. And when she came back about two years ago, she told me in a matter of subtext that she couldn't be with me until she moved passed her father's death and asked me to wait for her until she did. We always had a problem talking directly to each other... and it drove us both crazy."
Both Castle and Beckett can feel their hearts jump in their chests, looking at each other through the side of their eyes.
After a long moment, John continues. "So... because I loved her, I waited for that day to come. And after a year of waiting for her to be ready, I started to realize that I was waiting for something that was never gonna happen, so... I decided to cut my losses, swallow my pride, and leave. She was always so caught up in things that she never saw that I was standing right in front of her all that time. But it's probably my fault for... not just coming out and telling her how I felt, but... I knew if I did, it would send her running. So I had to wait for the day when she would give me a chance... which I realized would never come."
Castle feels his heart harden as John tells his story, feeling the coldness he put over himself when all this started come back.
"I signed up to be a war correspondent after that. I figured dying in a war was better than dying waiting around for her to see something that she wasn't looking for. I've been in Afghanistan for the past eight months, just got back two nights ago. When I heard about Claire's death..." He says with a shake in his voice, "I went to the bar... where these clowns decide to arrest me for getting thrown out."
Castle and Beckett are both at a conflict and a loss for words as the man's sorrow slowly floods to the surface, his eyes starting to brim and his lips quiver.
He looks up to them with red eyes, looking between them. "Why couldn't she just see me?" He asks in a soiled voice. "I was right there."
Beckett swallows thickly as she looks back down to the case file.
A/N: I hope John's character and dialogue came through clear, that you feel the connection he had with the victim and what he felt for her. I had the direction in my head but felt I was having trouble with the flow of the conversation as I was writing it. Let me know. :)