-Clary

When I get to the bathroom, I slam the door behind me and lock it then fall to my knees in front of the toilet. I lean over it waiting for the sickness to come out of me, but nothing does. I can feel the knot in my stomach but nothing is happening.

The more I think about it, the more everything makes perfect sense. Jonathan's father's name was Elias which is Valentine's father's name. I am not sure but I think that Valentine's mother's maiden name was Fireheart. Why he was so interested in the story about my mother that night at the dinner. Was it all just one big coincidence?

And then there is Jonathan. The worst thought is that he knew we were siblings and he still started a relationship with me. Maybe he had no idea like me. He told his father that we were just good friends and possibly parabatai. Maybe Valentine didn't feel the need to tell Jonathan and I that we were siblings because he thought we were just friends. Yes. That has to be it. The thought that Jonathan knew that we were brother and sister and still had sex with me is just too much.

"Clary!" I hear Jace shout as he pounds on the door. "Let me in."

I say nothing as my head fills with endless questions and thoughts. Maybe that's why I felt instant recognition towards Jonathan. Why it felt like we were supposed to be together. On the other hand, I did fall in love with him. I fell hard and fast. What kind of a person does that make me? Am I just as sick and twisted as my father? Not to mention, I absolutely loved the sex we had together.

I shudder at the thought but I don't feel the wave of nausea that first hit me when I found out. Maybe I am becoming numb. "Clary! Open the door or I am coming in." Jace says sternly.

I crawl over to the door and unlock it and scoot back. I sit on the floor in front of the toilet and lean on the opposite wall as Jace steps in and shuts the door behind him. He squats down and looks at me in my wild and confused and panicked eyes. "How do you know that I am Stephen Herondale's son?" Jace asks me seriously.

I drop my eyes from his and look down into my lap. Do I tell him that my first love that was killed in front of me, the man I was desperately trying to get over when I first got here, my first love that I have told him all about is actually my brother? Do I tell him that he looked exactly like Valentine and that is how I know who's son he really is? "Because I have met my brother." I tell him simply.

"When, how?" he asks urgently.

"I don't know if I am ready to tell you." I tell him gravely and with my voice a little weak. "I am still trying to process it myself."

He sits down all the way onto the floor. "When you looked at the picture, you said 'Jonathan' and then said Valentine's name was Elias Fireheart which was Jonathan's last name." Jace says confused. "Why did you say his name?"

"I said I don't want to talk about it!" I snap at him but it is too late. Jace is a smart man and I can see the wheels turning in his head. His eyes blow wide as I am sure he has figured it out. Jace's mouth falls open slightly as he looks at me in utter shock and in slight disgust that he is trying to hide. He has seen the sketch of Jonathan before and the pictures we took together so he knows what he looked like. All he would have to do is just compare those pictures to the one that Hodge has and he would see the undeniable resemblance. Before he can say anything else, I stand up abruptly and step over his shocked self and leave the bathroom. I walk down the hall back in the direction of the library and see Hodge standing in the middle of the hall. He looks questioningly at me and with a slightly sad look in his eyes as I pass by him. I can tell he wants to ask me something but the look on my face deters him.

I push through the library doors and see the picture sitting on the coffee table. I grab it up and look down at all of the faces again. I look at my mother's face who looks absolutely happy to be in Valentine's arms. I look behind them and see Luke's piercing blue eyes and then next to him a very young looking Hodge and then Maryse. That is when I come across another familiar face. I can't place it just yet...wait. It's that Longborn guy that had dessert with us. I look back down to my mother and I suddenly feel pure rage and hatred at the woman. None of this would have happened if she was just honest with me. If she had just kept one picture of my father.

I angrily throw the picture down as tears begin to fall down my face. I don't want to go back to my room right now. I don't want to be found. I need to be alone. I grab my bag that was on my shoulder for Jace and I's date tonight and check and make sure that I have a few weapons and steles and then I am running towards the elevator.

I get out onto the street without running into anyone and I disappear into the Saturday night crowd.

I have walked and walked for what seems like hours and my feet are starting to hurt from wearing the ankle boots I had put on for my date. I look up and see a coffee shop on the next corner and decide to stop for a cup of coffee. I reach the corner and slip in. I look up to find that it is filled with mismatched sofas and people of all ages. The smell of the warm coffee fills me with false comfort on this really fucked up night.

I quickly order a black coffee and make my way to a tattered green sofa in the back of the shop. I plop down and sink in wanting to disappear as I close my eyes and take my first sip and let the warm liquid slide down my throat.

How could I not have known who Jonathan was? Wasn't I supposed to feel some sort of natural revulsion to him sexually? Instead, it was like we couldn't get enough of each other. Every touch of his hands and every kiss from him was intoxicating. What does that say about me? That I am some natural pervert that is just drawn to things that my father has touched. Jace was raised by my father for the first ten years of his life and I fell in love with him. I also fell in love with Jonathan and he was raised by my father...our father. Is that some Freudian way of sleeping with my father? I am one seriously fucked up human being...

"Um, excuse me." I hear a voice say and it pulls me out of my tail spin. I glance up to see a guy who looks about my age looking expectantly down at me and he shift nervously.

"I'm not interested." I mutter and then look down at my coffee.

I hear him let out a rush of breath that sounds like laughter and I turn my head back up to him. "That's great and all, but aren't you Clary Fray?" I furrow my brows at him. I haven't used the name my mother came up with since I was ten. I look into his brown eyes as he nervously pushes his glasses on his nose up.

"Simon?" I say questioningly and a little shocked.

"I thought that was you." Simon says and smiles brightly at me.

I push off of the couch with a huge smile on my face as I set my coffee down and wrap him in a big hug. "I can't believe it's you, Simon!" I say excitedly as he wraps his arms around me. After a few seconds, he loosens his grasp on me but I don't let go of him. I hold onto him for a few more seconds before I let him go and then pull back to look at him. "My God, you're so tall!" I say to him.

He smiles widely at me and says, "Well that kind of happens when you grow up. Did you expect me to still be the same height I was when I was ten like you are?" He lets out a little laugh at his own joke and I pull my arm back and give him a mock punch as I mutter, "Not funny." and smile at him.

I sit down and pat the seat next to me and he sits down next to me. "You are a sight for sore eyes tonight, Simon." I tell him jokingly, but with a serious undertone. Simon seems to catch this and says, "Long day?"

I scoff and reach back for my coffee as I say, "You have no idea. More like 'long six months'."

"That bad?" He asks with smile as I take a sip of my coffee. "Oh, Simon, you have no idea. I was literally running away from my life when I stepped in here."

"Then we won't talk about the past six months." He says matter of factly. I smile warmly at him and he smiles back at me. "So, how's your dad?" he asks me. I know he means Luke because everyone thought Luke was my dad as much as he took care of me. My face falls instantly and Simon looks instantly panicked and regretful. "He died almost six months ago." I say to him and he literally gives himself a face palm.

"I'm so sorry, Clary. I didn't mean to bring up the past six months." Simon says apologetically.

I shake my head softly and give him a small smile. "It's okay, Simon. You didn't know."

He sits up a little in his seat and then looks over to another table. I follow his gaze and see two other boys looking over at us. "Why don't you come and join my friends and I?" He says a little excitedly. "I promise you they won't ask you any questions about yourself. They will be trying too hard to impress you with their non-existent skills of picking up women."

I let out a loud laugh and look back over at the table and one of the guys waves at me and winks and I let out another laugh. "I think I am going to take you up on that offer, Simon." I say and stand up. We walk over to the table and he introduces the two other boys as Eric and Kirk. Eric picks my hand up and kisses it as he says, "Enchante." in a very sad impression of a french accent. I look over to Simon with a surprised expression as if to say 'Wow. You weren't kidding about their pick up skills' and he laughs like he knows what I meant just by my eyes.

Soon, Simon's friend Eric gets up on the tiny stage and starts out the shop's poetry night with the most horrible poem of all time. It sounds like a dictionary just vomited random words onto a page and he just tried to rearrange them to make some kind of sense. I try very hard not to laugh and fail halfway through. I let out one strangled laugh and try to cover it up by coughing, but Simon isn't fooled. He looks over at me with an amused expression and smiles at me.

We sit there for a couple of hours just laughing and talking. Hearing about all of their hilarious attempts at dating or picking up women. Each of them trying to out do the other with an even more embarrassing story to make them look better. I actually laugh so much, I completely forget about everything. My phone kept vibrating with calls and texts and I turned it off shortly after I got here so I could leave it all behind. If just for a little while.

I don't know how we decided it, but I end up agreeing to spend the night at Simon's house. We all file out of the door and I follow Simon blindly to a horrible yellow van that they all seem to be getting into. Eric hops in the driver's seat and as Kirk is getting into the front passenger seat, Eric yells angrily at him "That is Clary's seat!"

"Is that seriously what we are riding in?" I say to Simon with an amused and slightly grossed out face. Kirk had slid the door open and I can see the layers of empty chip bags with food smooshed into the floor of the van. "Don't talk bad about the Banana!" I hear Eric yell from the driver's seat. I laugh a little nervously and slide in the front seat after brushing all of the crumbs into the floor.

He drops Simon and me off at Simon's house and we go inside where his mother gives me a long hug and a kiss on my cheek. I tell her briefly about moving up all over Europe and she says that it must have been so wonderful and exciting. If I told her it was to hide from my psychotic father, maybe she wouldn't think it was so wonderful.

Simon puts me up in his sister's room and his mother gives me a pair of her pajamas to sleep in. As I am falling to sleep, I push away all thoughts of Jace and Jonathan and my father and fall asleep in no time.

When I wake up, I can see that the sun is slanting at on odd angle and I realize that it must be something like midday and I hurry out of bed. I slip on my clothes and pull my phone from the pocket of my pants and turn it on. It immediately begins chiming with missed calls and texts. I scroll down to the last one from Jace and see that it just says, "Please just let me know you are okay." I quickly text back that I am fine and am on my way back. Unfortunately, I can't run away from my problems forever.

I make my way downstairs and see that Simon is sitting at the kitchen table finishing off a glass of something. He looks up at me and smiles brightly. "Well sleeping beauty is finally awake. I thought I was going to have to go find a prince to kiss you awake."

I roll my eyes at him as a small smile tugs at the corners of my lips. "I should really get going." I say to him and I look to his front door. I hold up my phone when I look back at him and wave it a little. "As much as I want to run away from my problems right now, they won't run away from me so I had better go deal with them before they come here to find me and you get sucked in."

"You don't have to leave, Clary." Simon says hurriedly. "You can stay here as long as you like."

"I really do need to get back." I say seriously to him. "I think I might have given my boyfriend a heart attack by disappearing last night."

His face falls infinitesimally when I say that and he says, "Well, okay." He pushes away from the table and stands up. "I am sure Eric will let me borrow his van and I can drive you back." he says with a smile as he reaches for his phone.

"You don't have to do that, Simon." I say as I start to pull out my phone. "I can just call a cab."

"Nope. Put your phone away. I insist." he says with his goofy smile and I give up. Eric pulls up twenty minutes later and drops his keys off with Simon after kissing my hand again and winking at me. I laugh when he does it and he seems satisfied with my response and asks for my number. "She's got a boyfriend!" Simon yells as he gets in the driver's seat. Eric mutters, "Dammit." under his breath and I laugh as I climb into the awful yellow van.

We chat and laugh the whole way back. Jace texts me two more times asking what is taking so long and I reply saying 'five minutes away' and he texts back that he will be waiting outside of the Institute for me.

Simon pulls up to the curb about fifty yards away and I see Jace pacing slightly back and forth on the sidewalk. He is wearing a tight white t-shirt that clings to his body and you can see the thick black lines of his runes through the thin material. His jeans are perfectly molded to his backside and his hair is perfectly messy giving it that 'I just rolled out of bed looking this good' look. "There's my boyfriend." I say to Simon.

He squints his eyes down the sidewalk and says "Who? The only guy I see is that tatted guy and a guy who looks about thirty."

I look back to Jace and see that a few women that are passing him are giving him long leers and scanning him from head to toe appreciatively. "The blonde one with the white shirt." I say and point to him.

Simon's eyes follow my line of sight and his widen at the sight of Jace. "You mean that seriously ripped dude with the cool tats who looks like a the poster child for bad boys around the globe is your boyfriend?"

I nod my head slightly and say, "Yep." as I pop the p sound. Simon's face falls slightly as he sizes Jace up again and I say, "You should come and meet him."

Simon looks nervously at me and says, "Um, no thanks. I don't think I want to be around when you tell him you spent the night at my house."

I let out a loud laugh and look back to Simon. "Come on. I am not taking no for an answer." Simon starts to protest but I just level my eyes at him and he moves to unbuckle his seat belt. I unbuckle mine and open the door. I hop down and onto the pavement and look to Jace. I wait for a second as Simon comes around the van and stands next to me. "I fully expect you to hold him off for a few seconds if he tries to kick my ass so I can get a running head start." Simon says nervously and I let out a loud laugh and start to walk.

I get about three steps before Jace spots me and then he is almost running to me. He closes the distance fast and then is wrapping his arms around me and picks me up a little as he buries his face in the crook of my neck. He pulls back and sets me down after ten seconds and cups my face in his hands. "I went to find you last night and you were just gone." Jace says worriedly to me. "I had no idea where you were. Izzy, Alec, and I searched for hours last night. I was so worried."

"Did you tell them why I was gone?" I ask him anxiously. The thought of them knowing sends my stomach into knots.

He shakes his head no as his face falls at the memory from last night. "I didn't tell them anything."

I nod in understanding and step away from him. I turn back to Simon who looks incredibly uncomfortable and I hold my hand out to gesture to him. "I ran into my childhood best friend last night. Jace, this is Simon. Simon, this is Jace." I motion between the two of them. Jace scans him from head to toe suspiciously to size him up and relaxes. Simon on the other hand, looks like he is awaiting a death sentence, just waiting for Jace to punch him.

Jace, satisfied that he doesn't seem like a threat to him, extends his hand for Simon to shake. "Nice to meet you, Simon." Jace says as he waits for him to take his hand. "Believe it or not, I have heard a lot about you."

Simon looks absolutely surprised and looks over at me as he slowly extends his hand to shake Jace's. He looks back to Jace and says, "Really? You have heard about me?" very surprised.

Jace takes his hand and I can tell he is squeezing Simon's hand a little too hard as I see Simon flinch a little and pull his hand away hurriedly. "Yep. Clary tried to get me and my brother and sister to play some game called 'Shrapnel' with her."

Simon and I smile at the same time and look at each other and say "Shatner." in perfect unison and we bust out laughing. "Oh my heart!" Simon says as he grabs his chest. I grab mine too as I say, "I think I am having a heart attack!" and we both then double over in laughter as I rest my hand on Simon's arm for support.

After a few seconds, I look back up to Jace who is watching the exchange between Simon and I and he raises a questioning brow at me. I still my laughter as I stand back up and look to Jace. "I spent the night with Simon last night at his house in Brooklyn." I say to him and he quickly levels his eyes at Simon. "I stayed in his sister's room." I quickly add on as Simon looks at me with panic in his eyes at Jace's glare.

"I should probably go." Simon says and he looks back at the awful van. "Eric has to go to work in a couple of hours."

"Okay." I say a little sadly to him. "You have my number, right? I have yours."

He glances at Jace nervously quickly and gives me a tight smile and nods. I reach up and give him a long hug. "I am so glad I ran into you." I say while my face is next to his ear. "I really needed last night." I tell him before he pulls away. He stands up and looks down at me and smiles as he says, "Anytime. Just give me a call." He looks to Jace and gives him a manly nod and then turns and walks back to the van.

When I look back at Jace, he is looking seriously down at me and I know that my little break from my life is over. "I'm not ready to talk about it." I tell him sternly and he nods his head tightly. We both turn and begin to walk back to the Institute a short distance away in silence. Jace steps into the gate first and just as I am about to, I see a flash of bright blonde hair and dark eyes. I freeze in my tracks and back out and away from the gate to the garden and look hard in the direction I saw them. I take a few steps that way as I scan the people in the crowd on the sidewalk and see nothing. I take a few more frantic steps down the sidewalk hurriedly looking at the people coming in and out of the buildings when I feel a hand on my shoulder.

I jerk my head around and find a different blonde head looking down at me. "Are you coming?" Jace asks me a little confused.

I nod quickly at him and give him a quick, "Yeah." and with one last glance back in the direction I thought I saw the familiar blonde hair, I turn around and walk back into the Institute with Jace.

-Jonathan

When Father told me yesterday that Hodge Starkweather called him and told him that Clary was at the New York Institute, it was the best news I had ever gotten. Father immediately moved the apartment to New York and told me to be patient. I have been looking for her since I woke up a few days after that fucking werewolf stabbed me in the back like the coward he was. I was so glad that Father killed him for stabbing me and taking his daughter from him.

I haven't been the same since Clary disappeared. We tried to get information from the Prague Institute but no one would say anything or knew anything. Father sent guys to wait outside of the Institute to watch for her for two weeks and there was no sign of her so we left. He said she probably went on the run again to hide. We have been searching ever since. I have been angry and volatile and frustrated from not seeing her and it is really starting to get to me. I feel like I can't control myself anymore. The leash she had put on my demon side is on it's last thread and I am about to lose my hold on it. I am ready to burn down the entire world to find her.

That is why I am waiting here outside of the New York Institute against Father's wishes hoping she will show herself for me. I look down at my phone and see that it is almost one in the afternoon and I groan in frustration. I have been here since eight this morning and I am starting to get really impatient. I am about ready to knock down the doors of the Institute to find her. About five minutes ago, this blonde shadowhunter walked outside and he has been pacing anxiously since then. I watch him closely for any sign of Clary because he is looking like he is waiting for someone.

This big yellow van catches my eye as it rolls up a little ways down from the Institute and parks on the curb. I pull out my stele and quickly draw a far-sighted rune on my arm and look back up at the van. I see a flash of red in the front passenger seat and I stand up straight as my heart rate picks up. I narrow my eyes harder and see Clary in the front seat of that awful van. I can feel my face light up as my mouth turns up in a smile.

"My Clary." I say lowly as I watch her climb out of the van. She looks absolutely beautiful. Her hair is a little longer but her eyes are still the most radiant vibrant green that have haunted my dreams. A skinny mundane guy hops out of the driver's side and walks around to join her on the sidewalk and I have to restrain myself from walking up and snapping him like a twig. What was he doing with my Clary? I watch as she laughs at something he said and I lock my jaw tightly as I lose feeling in the tips of my fingers from clenching my fists.

I watch as the blonde shadowhunter, who has been anxiously pacing out front, turns and catches sight of Clary and then he is almost running towards her. She offers him a soft smile and then he wraps his arms around her and lifts her up off of the ground as she hugs him back.

Red. All I see is red. I taste blood in my mouth as I bite on the inside of my cheek to keep myself from running over and killing him. He really needs to let go of her if he wants to keep his arms till the end of the day.

He sets her down and puts his hands on either side of her face and if I see him kiss her, I am going to kill him. I won't be able to help it. I know Clary probably thinks I am dead and so she thinks she is available to date, but she isn't. I watch with satisfaction as she steps away from him without a kiss and looks back to the mundane that was driving. She introduces the two guys and they exchange a short conversation. Clary suddenly bursts out laughing along with the mundane and she places her hand on his arm and I see red again. I know I am overreacting with the mundane because he is clearly a friend, but the blonde is another story. There is obviously something more going on between them.

Clary turns to the mundane and gives him a quick hug and then he is walking back to the van. Clary and the blonde guy quickly say something to each other and then they begin to head for the gates to the Institute. I step out from where I have been and slide along the buildings trying to get just a little closer to her when she looks in my direction and our eyes meet for just a tiny fraction of a second. I push myself flat against one of the buildings and slightly peak around to see if she saw me.

She is looking where I just was and she just looks like she saw a ghost. Her eyes are worriedly scanning the people in the crowd walking down the sidewalk. Her eyes almost look hopeful. My heart soars at the thought of her being happy about seeing me again. That she is hoping that she saw me just now. The blonde guy grabs her shoulder and she turns around to face him and then she is walking away from me and back into the Institute. She looks over her shoulder one more time and scans the crowd and I see her face fall slightly before she turns her head back around and steps through the gates.

I stand up straight and smile widely. She caught a glimpse of me and she looked sad when she couldn't find me. She probably thinks she was just seeing things. You know, wishful thinking. I know she still loves me. I just know it.

-Clary

As we walk up the path to the doors of the Institute, neither Jace or I say a word. I don't know if there are any words to say when you find out you fell in love with your brother and had sex with him and in Jace's case, find out that who raised you cut you out of your dead mother's womb and pretended to be your father. I mean hell, I don't even know if Jace still wants to be with me. He just found out that I was with my own brother. He might be too disgusted to ever touch me again...and I wouldn't blame him.

And then there is the fact that I don't feel as disgusted as I should. While it was going on; while I was with Jonathan, it didn't feel wrong. It felt great. Everything about him was great. His kiss, his touch, the way he looked at me; all of it was everything I thought I wanted. That is what worries me the most. The fact that I can't find it in me to be disgusted about being with him like I should. There is surely something wrong with me. If Jace were to find that out, then he surely wouldn't want to be with me.

When I look up, I see that we are stepping out of the elevator to a very pissed off looking Isabelle. "Where the hell were you?" she says angrily to me.

"I uh, I ran into and old friend and just lost track of time." I tell her a little hesitantly.

"You at least could have answered your phone." She motions to Jace stepping out next to me. "You had him running around like a crazy person worriedly looking for you."

I glance over at Jace who looks a little sheepishly at me. "Sorry?" I say unsure of the correct response. Isabelle rolls her eyes hard and tosses her hands in the air dramatically and says, "Whatever." under her breath and then turns and walks away. Thankful for the reprieve, I start to walk towards my room. I really want to take a shower right now. I am still in the clothes that I put on for my date with Jace last night that never happened.

I look back at Jace who is following me and then look away quickly before he can see the truth in my eyes about my brother. That a part of me still wants to be with him. I finally reach my room and Jace slides in behind me. I don't even turn around to look at him before I start to get undressed. "I am going to take a shower." I tell him. I take my shirt and pants off and then step into the bathroom and shut the door without looking back at him.

I turn on the water and hold my hand under the flow and wait for it to get hot. As soon as it is acceptable enough to not freeze me to death, I step in after I slip off my bra and underwear and just hang my head in the water. It splashes on the back of my head and pushes my hair forward and into my face as it runs down and off of my nose. I am not sure how long I am standing there like that when I feel hands slide around my waist. I didn't even hear him come in the bathroom or step into the shower with me.

I turn around and throw my arms around Jace as he hugs me to him tightly and my tears finally start to come.

"What's wrong with me, Jace?" I say to him through a choked sob. "How could I not know he was my brother?"

"Because you thought he died when he was one." Jace replies in a soothing tone. "There was no way to know."

I shake my head into the crook of his neck in disagreement. "He was my brother. Shouldn't there have been something, anything, deep down inside of me that screamed that it was wrong? Because the worst part about all of it was that it didn't feel wrong at the time." I say the last part as I hold him tighter, willing him not to turn away in disgust and leave me.

He stiffens at first just a tiny bit then relaxes somewhat into me. "I don't know how true siblings should feel towards each other because I have never had any." Jace begins to tell me softly. "From what I have observed though, it seems that the natural...aversion siblings have is because they were raised together and have always known that they weren't supposed to be attracted to each other. I mean, Izzy and I aren't technically brother and sister and I find the idea of being with her gross because we were raised together as siblings. Even though she is extremely beautiful and not technically related to me." He pauses for a second and then pulls back to look at me. "You and Jonathan met in a club. There was no way to know that he was your brother, Clary."

"But aren't you disgusted by me?" I ask worriedly. "Aren't you disgusted by the fact that I was with my own...my own..."

He pulls me into his chest again and wraps his arms around me. "No. Of course I'm not disgusted by you. How could you think that?" I can feel him lay his face on top of my head as he holds me to him. "You had no idea."

"I just figured that you wouldn't want to be with me anymore. Be with someone who is so tainted."

He pulls back and looks down at my tear streaked face with this slightly angry and frustrated expression. "In no way are you tainted, Clary." he says earnestly to me. "I love you and nothing is going to change that. Whether you like it or not, you are stuck with me."

I let a small smile grace my lips and then I pull him back to me and rest my head on his chest. I squeeze him tightly to me and he does the same. The water beats down on my back and he dips his face into my neck and places a few small kisses there. I turn my face to his and he captures my lips with his. I wait to feel some sort of hesitation from him to kiss me, but none comes. His lips are just as hungry on mine as they have always been.

I slide my hands from around his back and place them flat on his stomach and slowly start to slide them up his abdomen as he kisses me. My hands finally reach his neck and slide up and into his hair and his kisses get a little more serious. I can feel his erection growing and the part of me that was still afraid he would never want to be with me again, slowly starts to get pushed back. Surely he wouldn't be aroused if he were disgusted by me.

His hands slide down my back and he pulls me even closer to him as he slides his tongue into my mouth. He breaks away for a moment and then he slides his tongue down my neck and I throw my head back in pleasure. The next thing I know, his hand reaches out and yanks the shower curtain open and he lifts me up and wraps my legs around his waist and then steps out of the shower with the water still running.

His mouth captures mine again while he pushes his way out into my bedroom. He carries me over to my bed and braces one hand on my upper back and the other on my bed and he slowly lays me down. I let go of his waist with my legs and scoot back onto the bed while looking into his beautiful golden eyes and I can see that the last thing he feels right now is disgust. His eyes never leave mine as he climbs up onto the bed with me and into the space between my legs. My hands reach down to his face and pull his lips to mine and I can feel him line up with my entrance. I roll my hips to him to let him know that it is okay and he lowers his body a little and pushes into me slowly.

I let out a low and long breathy moan as he fills me up and he slides one arm under me and around my back and pulls my body flush with his. He is bracing himself with his other arm that is beside my head, resting on his elbow to hold himself up off of me so as not to crush me. He pulls his lips away from mine and buries his head in the crook of my neck as he begins his slow thrusts into me. He kisses my neck and shoulder tenderly as he whispers once, "I love you, Clary."

I wrap my arms around his back and pull him closer to me when he says this and I can feel how much he means it. With each thrust into me, it is like he is trying to tell me something. That he loves me. That he doesn't care about my past. That I don't disgust him. That he thinks I am beautiful. That he will never leave me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.

His thrusts pick up speed a little and I turn my face into his. I kiss him fervently and he returns my kiss whole heartedly. He is telling me just how much he loves me with his body and reassuring me that everything is okay between us. "I love you, Jace." I whisper to him between kisses as I can feel a tear slip out of my eye. I have been so worried that he would be repulsed by me that it feels like my heart is soaring in the sky knowing that he isn't. He still loves me and he still wants to be with me.

His breathing begins to become a little more ragged into my mouth as he says, "Clary." like a precious prayer. I pull him to me again and press my body to his as we both climb our peaks together. The fact that we are making love right now is almost too much for my heart to handle as I feel the familiar waves of pleasure begin to roll through my body. My voice is a little strangled as I moan my release and then Jace is shaking above me as he starts to come undone. He grunts lowly and softly into my ear as he dips his head beside mine and I slide my hands into his hair.

When his body finally stills, I pull his face up and look into his eyes and see nothing but love for me looking back. I run my hand down his face and lift my head up to give him a quick kiss and then he pulls out of me and lays on the bed next to me. I turn into his arms as he pulls me tight to his chest. I can feel his head turn down towards me and I look up at him and meet his eyes with mine. "I love you, Clary. And I always will. Nothing will ever be able to change that." His voice is as serious as his eyes are and I let a few more tears slip out of my eyes as I tuck my head under his and bury my face into his chest and begin to cry.

Okay readers, I need your feedback. I don't know if I want to make this a Clace or a Clonathan ending so I need your help to decide. Let me know what you want and majority will win. I will try and wait a few days before I put up another chapter so I can give everyone a chance to get their opinions in.

Once again, thanks a million for taking time to read my story. It means the world to me!