Hey guys! Thank you so much for all the reviews I got for the last chapter. I'm sorry I haven't updated in such a long time but I tried to make it up in this chapter. It has a lot of important stuff in it so you guys should pay attention! I saw the stats for this story and I'm really so glad you all like it enough to read and review and add to Favorite Stories and Story Alert! I really appreciate it. This story looks like it's going to be great from the way it's being played out in my head. The future chapters have some definite drama! I think you'll like them. Enjoy this chapter and please review :-)

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I wish I did. My name's really close to Stephenie Meyer's but unless I change my entire identity and then try to obtain Twilight, I don't see my not owning it changing in the near future.

"I can't escape,
From your hold on my heart,
Time after time,
I keep running in circles,
I can't deny what is real…"

-You Are The One by Rev Theory

Chapter 10

BPOV

I don't want to be here, I groaned inwardly as I sprawled out on the picnic mat. It was one of those rare sunny days in Forks where we could actually have picnics and trust Alice to have been the one to have foreseen the perfect day to plan a picnic and then drag me and Emmett along with her and Edward.

This was pure torture for me right now. Alice had dragged me along so that I could see how wonderfully our plan had worked. She had confessed to me the morning after Lauren's successful party how she loved Edward now and how she owed all to me.

So, in a wonderful effort to thank me, she had dragged me along this entire week with her and Edward on their dates. Of course, I roped Emmett into it too. As selfish as it sounded I didn't want to be the only one to suffer.

Edward had no objections to me tagging along either. Ironically enough, he wanted me to come along to see how well our plan had worked too. All week, Alice and Edward went on dates all over the place. They went Seattle and Port Angeles to do Alice's favorite thing, shopping.

Emmett's muscles were put to good use lugging Alice's purchases around. I, on the other hand, was tortured with rounds of Bella Barbie with Alice ecstatic that she had caught me at last and Edward smiling so happily and serenely that I just wanted to punch him.

Today was picnic day. Esme had sent us off with gourmet sandwiches of every kind whilst she, Renee and Elizabeth enjoyed a girls' day whilst their husbands went fishing at the behest of Charlie. Alice seemed to have a glimpse into a future to pick this rare sunny Forks day to decide to have her picnic and everyone went along with her advice since it seemed that she had a knack for that kind of things.

The whole week had been utter torment for me since I had to view, from a front row seat, Alice and Edward's happiness. As heartless and cruel as this was about to sound, I did not enjoy the sight of their obvious joy they found loving each other.

Every adoring glance that Alice spared Edward, every coy smile she gave him with the clear love in her eyes felt like a physical blow to my stomach. Of course, that blow increased by a ten-fold when I saw Edward's doting face as he gazed at Alice.

The one thing that killed me most was whenever they kissed. They did it sparingly since me and Emmett were around most of the time but that didn't stop them from stealing a few here and there when they thought we weren't watching. Of course with my bad luck, I was always somehow present to actually see them do it and their evident joy at how wonderful it was. It made me feel extremely unpleasant but still I bore it as best as I could with a fake fleeting grin plastered to my face as I tried to make it all seem better.

All week, I had had to bear it all because of exactly how much I loved the two of them. Though the sight of their happiness brought me discomfort, I was happy that they were happy. It was nothing more than what I had wanted, both of them contented to be in love.

My brilliant plan had had wondrous outcomes for it seemed that Alice had fallen head over heels for Edward. It was quite clear in the way she smiled at him, her jealousy when she saw other women eyeing him, the quick glimpses she shot him every now and again that were filled with adoration for him. The plan had worked exactly the way I thought it would. And yet, I still wasn't happy.

Thankfully, Emmett was there for me even though he had been dragged against his will. He tried his best to distract me from my gloom as we observed Edward and Alice's love fest with humor and teasing. It had not worked, of course, but still I was very grateful for his efforts. Because of them, at times I could almost feel the darkness and ill humor from watching them slip away.

Emmett had long since stopped trying to convince me to stop what I was doing. He had not uttered a word of it since the night of the ball. He seemed to have understood that whatever I did wasn't for a sadistic pleasure I had for hurting myself but it was really just out of the love I had for them both.

Jokingly once, he had mentioned that he wondered if I would go through so much for him. When I told him that I would, he grew sober at once and told me that I should never do so much harm to myself because of him before walking away solemnly. Later he was back to his light airy teasing self but the words before still hung in the air making the atmosphere between us now a little bit more tense and serious.

And there was James. It was only after the ball, after we had left and I sunk into my warm comfy bed that I'd realised that even though I had kissed James and he'd saved me twice, I didn't know enough about him to even fill a paragraph! He had given no explanation to how he was at the party nor had I thought to ask him. I knew for sure that he did not go to Forks High. I didn't even know what he looked like since all the times we'd met he was either in the dark or wearing a mask. And I had kissed him too! Then again, I wasn't even sure if I wanted to know him. The kiss had been sweet and pleasant but I knew that there could be nothing between James and I, not with my feelings for Edward in the way. I didn't like James enough to even try.

Sighing, I reclined on to the blanket Alice had spread on the green grassy ground. Though the sun was shining, you could still smell the dewy scent left on the grass. I closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth of the sun on my face and I could feel the corners of my mouth pull up into a small smile.

Edward miraculously had found the perfect meadow for the picnic. Seeing as me and Alice had lived in Forks all our lives, it was shocking that Edward knew about this place while we hadn't. The meadow was a breathtaking view with wild flowers growing all around and the perfect blue sky above us made it picturesque. It wasn't that far from our houses which was how Edward had stumbled upon it a little while after he had returned while he was 'thinking'. That was the story he gave us. What he was thinking about is what I would have killed to know. Then again I probably knew. It must have been Alice of course.

I would have fallen asleep as I lay on the blanket, my eyes closed as I basked in the sun. I was mighty comfortable today in the clothes Alice had Barbie-tized me, in a light green sun dress which if a little short and showed off my shoulders, a rare occurrence indeed, was still nice and cool when thankfully paired with ballet flats. Alice herself eschewed the girly route for once showing off her lithe body in a pair of black shorts and a pink camisole that displayed her milky shoulders well. The guys dressed in loose fitting tees which despite being big for them still managed to show off their chiseled bodies.

Alice and Edward had gone off for a walk whilst Emmett abandoned me to spy through the woods, eager as little child on Christmas to see if he'd meet some grizzlies. Little did Emmett know, the woods of Forks were not well known for any types of beasts so the worst thing he might have met was a bunny rabbit as cute as a button.

Meanwhile, here I laid with my battered copy of Wuthering Heights as I took in as much of the rare Vitamin D as I could. I could almost be peaceful in the meadow. It was a breathtaking sight sure but what was also special about it that it was so quiet and peaceful. Right now I craved its tranquil setting. My life had been so hectic of late having to deal with both Edward and Alice in addition to my own self. The peace that existed here was something I had been longing for, for a while. Now lying here, I could almost pretend my life was not the mess it was.

However, my peace was shattered as a figure stepped over me, blocking the sunlight. Annoyed, I did not bother to open my eyes since I was pretty certain who it was. "Emmett," I sighed exasperatedly, "get out of my sun please."

He made no reply. I tried again. "Em? Please Emmett, I'm trying to relax here. You know how much I need that today," I said, a little forlornly.

He still made no move or reply. "Emmett," I sighed exasperatedly, finally opening my eyes, "come on du-"

I stopped mid sentence. Instead of the large hunk of teddy bear I had expected to find it was Edward staring at me intensely. Startled I stumbled to find some greeting but his gaze fazed me.

He was gazing right at me, happiness and appreciation in his eyes. To a stranger it would've seemed that he was the same happy-go-lucky guy of two weeks ago from Chicago who hopped off the plane expecting his happily ever after wit his beloved but a tiny cleft in the middle of his forehead was the only indication that something was amiss.

His eyes were clouded with some other emotion and whatever it was it seemed to be the most dominant in his brood. There was something in his gaze that looked familiar but I couldn't seem to find a name to it. Whatever it was, it unnerved me.

My words froze in my mouth, sticking and I was taken away by how Edward actually appeared. With his dark bronze hair, green eyes and muscled form of an Adonis, he looked like a brooding Greek god. The sun reflected off his pale skin and produced an eerie glow to his beauty. It was almost unreal how god-like he appeared. And right now, this Adonis was staring right at me with such concentration that my mouth went dry.

Captured by his intense green eyed gaze, we were there, me still on the mat with him staring down at me. After what seemed like an eternity although must have been only a minute or two, I finally managed to stammer out a sentence as a deep crimson blush spread over my face in embarrassment at my gaping. "E-Edward," I stuttered. "Um…" I tried to find words to work out a sentence. My head was a jumbled mess. "How's it going?" I finished lamely.

Inwardly I berated myself for my lame question as he still made no reply. Still uncomfortable by his deep gaze, I squirmed.

Finally, he seemed to shake himself out of his reverie. He blinked several times and then shook his head, still looking at me. Edward smiled softly. "Would you like to come and walk with me?" he asked.

He still had not answered my question but I didn't bother wordlessly taking the hand he offered. Tingles went up my hand as it always did whenever I had any type of physical contact with Edward. I flinched as I felt them but he didn't notice. He seemed to have lapsed back into his deep thoughts.

"Where's Alice?" I asked distractedly, trying to break him out of his pensive mood. At the sound of Alice's name, he came back to reality and gave a half smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"She's at the river over on that side." He jerked his head in the direction and smiled halfheartedly. "She sent me to the house to collect more sandwiches. It seems Emmett snuck into them and ate almost everything so we need to restock. She couldn't take the long walk back so she decided she'd stay by the river and cool off. Emmett was with her when I left so nothing should happen. She doesn't seem to like walking very much. She almost passed out on the way to the river." He tried to grin but it came off as a grimace. "Usually, in her letters, she'd say that she loved to go walking and clear her head but I guess not today."

Oh darn, I groaned silently, I did say that. That had been stupid of me to say had I known this day was coming. Alice wasn't an active person for anything but shopping. Exact opposite of me the tomboy. Can you say "Oops"? At least Edward had given himself an explanation that sounded a lot better than one I could have concocted. However, something was off about him today. His usual energy and carefree attitude was gone. In its place left this silent broody version of him and it was so unnatural that it alarmed me.

"Edward?" I asked tentatively lying my hand on his shoulder as we trekked through the woods in the general direction of my and Alice's houses. "Is everything okay?" What I really wanted to ask was why he was in such an odd mood today but I didn't want to seem impolite.

He sighed and gazed straight ahead thoughtfully. He raked a hand through his reddish brown hair, sweeping it out of his eyes. "It should be," Edward replied with another halfhearted smile. "I had thought coming here that everything was going to be perfect; that this would be the best summer ever since I would have Alice with me."

He exhaled slowly and closed his eyes, swallowing reflexively. "Don't get me wrong; the last two weeks have been great although it wasn't what I exactly expected." With a quick glance at me, he added, "It's been better."

I shot him a small smile. "So then what is it?" I asked, curious.

He looked at me thoughtfully and seemed to come to a decision. "It's one of my friends back home," he answered finally. "I don't know if Alice ever told you about him but he's been a good friend to me these past few years."

I nodded vaguely, trying to not show that I did know everything but of course, Edward didn't know that. "Well, she mentioned him once or twice," I said feigning ignorance. "His name is Jackson or Jason or something like that right?"

"Jasper," Edward corrected with a half grin. He shook his head. "Something's up with him and he won't tell me why. Usually we're closer than brothers and we tell each other everything but there's something going on with him back home and he isn't giving me the story." He sighed in frustration. "This morning I received this short e-mail from him explaining that he won't be there when we get back to Chicago. He was accepted to Oxford apparently and he's getting a head start on settling in there." He scoffed angrily. "But that isn't it Bella! Something is going on with him that he hasn't been talking about." He paused, frowning and then shook his head again, perturbed.

"You can tell me," I said softly. I stopped walking, halting him with me. My hand slid down to meet his and I held it between us. Edward looked at our intertwined hands and then gripped it firmly. He smiled a little dejectedly and we continued walking.

He nodded slightly before continuing. "The last two years," he explained, "Jasper's been having problems with his family. His dad, a military general, wants him to follow in his footsteps and go military school but Jasper doesn't want that. He wants to go to a real college, study American history, write books and become a professor."

He shot me a tired glance. "Needless to say, it's been tearing the family apart. It's been killing him inside, Bells, all this time. He shuts all of them off so that he won't hurt them. He'd talk to his sister though; she's the only one besides me. Except he's been shutting her out the past few days and now he's starting to do the same to me!" He groaned in frustration. "There's something else though, Bella. I know it. It isn't just the college thing; there's something deeper going on with Jasper and I don't know what it is. Whatever it is though it's tearing him up from the inside." He looked at me with eyes full of pain for his friend and I felt my heart swell for Edward and his friend. "I want to help him, Bells. He's my friend."

"Edward," I whispered quietly. I slipped a hand behind his back and over his stomach so that my head was tucked into the crook of his neck. Gently I raised his face to look into my eyes. "Edward, you can't help everyone," I said softly, smiling tenderly. "It's always been in your nature to help everyone especially if they're a friend in need but you have to let Jasper cool out. Give him space, time to think. Don't crowd him if he wants to be alone. There's a reason he is pushing you away and you have to let him so he can figure out his own head. When he's ready he'll talk to you. He has to do it on his own time so let him."

He smiled sadly and nodded, understanding and taking in what I said. We had still been walking all this time and I could see the houses not far from us. I sighed. This alone time with Edward had been really wonderful to have and I didn't want to see it end so soon. Although I had tried my best to avoid these kinds of situations that would make me fall even more for Edward, I still loved having them. Besides, how much more could I even fall for Edward? Pretty soon I was guessing I would hit rock bottom. Hard.

"C'mon," Edward said suddenly pulling me towards a big boulder that was situated next to a tree. I perched myself on one side whilst he sat on the next. Without any warning, I found myself in his arms surprisingly, him hugging me tightly. "Thanks, Bella," he whispered into my hair. His warm breath stirred tendrils of hair on the back of my neck, causing it to feel all goose pimply. I shivered slightly.

"You're welcome," I said, torn between surprise and uneasiness. He laughed as he traced circles on the back of my hand. Wherever his finger lingered left a trail of warmth.

"You know," he said with a sudden laugh, his eyes avoiding mine, "I didn't think I'd be telling you this." He looked up to meet my eyes and gave me a crooked grin. "I was actually going to tell Alice but somehow I ended up telling you." Edward laughed but I was feeling my heart sinking. Of course, he was going to tell Alice. She was after all his girlfriend. I was just…there. Suddenly all the happiness I had been feeling was sucked out of me replaced with a strange emptiness.

"So why did you tell me then?" I asked, my voice oddly strangled.

His forehead creased as he seemed to contemplate that for a second. "Because," he said seriously looking right at me with his shocking emerald eyes, "you seem to always be the one to know me better than myself these days." He shook his head. "Alice…she…" he trailed off uncertainly.

An wakward moment hung in the air for about five seconds before Edward jerked haphazardly. Unexpectedly he brightened as if suddenly remembering something. "I was supposed to show you this," he said slapping himself on the forehead. "I forgot. I wanted to ask you," he said breathlessly as he searched for something in his pocket.

He pulled out a Tiffany's box that was just the right size for a necklace. The only reason I knew this was because Alice dragged me on one too many shopping excursions for me to not know all the different shapes and sizes of the box. "Do you think Alice would like this?" he asked nervously as he snapped open the case.

It was beautiful and I knew at once that Alice would adore it. It was a pale gold heart shaped necklace with the words True Love embossed onto it. It had two chains and there was a split down the middle. Edward demonstrated how it worked, breaking into two separate chains and then showing how when the halves were brought together how they'd reform themselves together.

"So that whenever we're apart," Edward explained with equal parts of nerves and excitement as he separated the halves, "our heart breaks and we each carry one half with us. And then when we're together again," he brought the halves close together and they formed the pendant, "they reform." He grinned at me, normal Edward returned to himself. I should have been relieved, happy to see the return but instead I felt curiously empty.

"Corny, I know, but it's nice huh?" he asked, the nervousness returning as he eagerly awaited my answer. "Alice will like it right?"

"Yup, sure," I answered, swallowing the lump threatening to form in my throat. "She'll love it."

He smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Bells," he grinned. "It seems you're always the one helping me out here." He hugged me again. "Thank you for that. Helping me with Alice, helping me figure out why Alice's been acting so weird, helping me out with understanding myself too," he winked imperceptibly.

"Off to the house?" he said, taking my hand surprisingly. His eyes stayed on me though as we walked.

His gaze was on me again and it was making me peculiarly nervous. His green eyes lingered on my lips especially since our faces were so close. I stammered an incoherent sentence without any prior thought or any idea what I had said. Edward frowned. "What did you say?"

"I-uh-I said-uh," I tried to think something quickly. "I-um-I asked you w-where you've decided you're going to college!" I stumbled and he caught me swiftly.

"Whoa, be careful there, Bella," he chuckled, setting me aright. "Dartmouth," he said without preamble.

"Oh," I said faking unawareness, "what are you going to do?"

"Medicine."Like his father. He didn't add the last part but of course, I had already known that but there was something odd about his swift answer. The way he said the word…it was almost as if he didn't want to do it.

"Medicine," I repeated and I glanced at him. "Is that what you want or is it what Uncle Carlisle wants?" He'd told me this before but being over the internet it had seemed as though he was confident and sure that he wanted the same things his parents wanted for him but now...I couldn't seem to tell whether it was really what he wanted. There was something in his voice that alerted me to it.

His startled gaze told me more than words could. He struggled to find the right words. "I-how did you know?" he sighed, raking a hand through his hair.

I smiled softly. "You were the one who said I knew you better than you knew yourself," I teased lightly. "If not medicine like Carlisle then what do you want to do?"

He exhaled slowly and smiled a little ruefully. "Ever since I was old enough to make my own decisions, I've always wanted to help people." He grinned at me. "You told me just now that I always like helping people out and I do. Which is why I thought that following my parents' dream for me to become like Carlisle would always be the right thing for me. Mom and Dad, they've never pushed me or Emmett towards their own desires and they've always let us make our own choices but both me and Emmett know that they've always secretly hoped that one of us would follow in Carlisle's footsteps. Em decided that he'd do it since he's always had a knack for it." He sighed again. "And I've wanted to do it. My dad's always had this dream ever since we both made our decision to follow him that we'd be the three sons you know? We'd work together, father and sons."

He smiled again a little more sadly. "I love that dream and I really hope it will come through." He exhaled sharply and rubbed his forehead. "But I have this secret sort of obsession," he explained quickly, his eyes lighting up like two emerald globes.

Oh no, I thought desperately, please tell me he doesn't want to become a porn star or something like that. Sure it wouldn't be such a horrible thing to see but still. Please. No.

Edward laughed, apparently guessing what I was thinking and he shook his head. "Architecture, Bella," he answered, grinning, "I've always loved seeing the structure of things you know? The way architects could design this amazing plan and then build it. It seems more like an art form to me than anything else. Being able to work with your hands...it's the best thing in the world. I took classes online for it. It was wonderful. When you are able to design something like that and then see it become reality and part of everyday life...it makes you think you have some control over the world." It was amazing to see how passionately he felt about it. His eyes lit up when he spoke and I could tell that this was something that made him really happy.

"Then why don't you then, Edward?" I asked curiously. "Esme and Carlisle would have no problem with that. They'd be happy as long as you did something that made you happy. And don't say it doesn't make you happy; I can see how much it does."

"That's just it," he said forlornly. "Carlisle and Esme would be happy for me whichever I did but I can't decide. Do I help people and follow my parents' dream for me? Or do I give in to this hobby that I love? I can't decide." He shook his head.

We were almost to the houses now, right at the edge of the forest. "Edward,"I commanded. "Listen to me." I placed a hand on his cheek. Usually, I wouldn't have touched him this much but he was clearly worried about this. Despite everything, I couldn't ignore that. "You'll decide okay? You can do either and it wouldn't matter to anyone. It just needs to matter to you. You can't make everyone happy. Just concentrate on making yourself happy."

He nodded and smiled a little ruefully. "Why does it seem that you're always helping me?" He laughed. "I know I said this already but thanks Bella." His eyes were liquid green. "You really are my favorite person in the world."

Shocked, I laughed. "Hey, what about Alice?" I asked only half teasingly.

"Alice..." he said and he shook his head, seeming a bit out of sorts. "Of course," he chuckled, a sound that didn't seem heartfelt. "I forgot." He grinned crookedly. "Okay then second best."

Ha, I sighed silently to the girl who had gotten desperately happy when he said that I was favorite, second best. Always.

I smiled at Edward a little sadly. "Bella!" I heard someone call from the front of the house. I frowned; I knew that voice. Could it be...?

My hand still in Edward's grasp, I pulled him along with me as I walked over to the front of the house. When I reached the front, a man's embrace enveloped me and I felt Edward's hand break away from mine. Edward stepped back a little off to the side as the guy picked me up and spun me around.

"Alec!" I said, trying hard not to burst out into laughter. "Get off me, you big goof!" I laughed, hitting his back playfully.

Alec Volter was indeed as Alice had pointed out on many an occasion quite cute. Gorgeous almost. Light brown unkempt hair-which proved that his witch of a sister was not a natural blonde as she was prone to brag- that framed high cheek bones, beautiful hazel eyes, an alabaster complexion and a sinewy lean form, he made an almost perfect picture as he set me down, grinning hugely. He was one of the heart-breakers of Forks High but unlike Jacob, he wasn't a narcissistic pig. He was sweet and kind and again, adorably handsome.

"Aw," he joked. "I missed you! I haven't seen you in two weeks!" He nudged me playfully. "Can't go from seeing you every day from seeing you every two weeks. How would my heart survive?" he teased.

Trying to compose the giggles that were bursting out of me, I shot him a mildly scolding look. Alec was always a playful kind of person, one of the many reasons I liked him. He was also blunt and sarcastic, another reason I liked him. A great football player, he was athletic like me and we were running partners as well as study buddies. Alice thought he had a crush on me as she'd told Edward but the truth was Alec just loved to flirt. He flirted with me mostly, but still, he didn't crush on me. Really, how could he when he had every girl in Forks High ready to be with him only waiting for him to ask?

"Oh shut up," I rebuked him wacking him on the head jokingly. Belatedly, I realised that Edward was there still, watching us with curiousity. Alec had noticed him and the lines of his mouth turned downwards. "Who's this?" he asked, his joking gone.

Did I mention that Alec was also very protective of me? If a guy stared me down, he'd stare back as though he were my boyfriend. Of course, it was just a brotherly instinct despite whatever Alice said.

Edward was eyeing Alec as well the same look in his eyes and frowning. "Um, Alec, this is Edward Cullen," I explained quickly. "Remember? They used to live here."

"Right," Alec said, his usually friendliness absent. "I remember. So why are you back?" he asked bluntly.

"Alec," I hissed, elbowing him. My elbow didn't seem to do much damage as he continued to stare at Edward with hostility in his eyes. Geez, I thought angrily, they look like if they're having a silent testosterone battle.

"Vacation," Edward said coolly. He looked at me and at my glare, attempted to be friendly. He smiled a little painfully. "We're here on vacation."

I glared at Alec and raised my eyebrows, warning him to be nice. He saw it but paid it no heed. "Good then, so you'll leave."

I couldn't believe he was being so rude! I glared at him even more. Edward nodded stiffly. "Edward," I said still glaring at Alec, "would you excuse Alec and I for a moment?"

Edward looked between me and Alec before nodding again his body tense and he walked away. "Alec, come on, stop being so rude to him."

"Bells, I don't like him. I never have."

"I can't see why," I said. Why was he acting so strange?

"Because," he sighed, "he's always been your best friend ever since you guys were born. And because he was always around, you never paid anyone outside the Cullens-Brandon-Swan group any attention. Come on, Bella, the only time we actually ever talked was after they were gone." He shrugged. "I guess I'm just a little jealous." After a moment he added, "Scratch that; I'm enormously jealous."

And then Alec did the unthinkable. He stepped forward and bent his head as if he was about to kiss me. Having had this done to me only a week ago, I recognized it. Swiftly, I stopped him putting my hand on his chest and giving him a gentle push back.

"Alec," I said softly, refusing to meet his eyes that I could feel scorching the top of my head as I shuffled my feet. "No."

"Why, Bells?" he asked, his voice full of pleading. "You know I love you right? More than a friend. I've always loved you like that. I want to be more, Bella. Please."

"No, Alec, no, I don't see you like that. I love you as a brother, Al, and I don't want to hurt you," I sighed tiredly. "But please do not do this. I don't want to hurt you but if you try to kiss me again I will push you away. And I don't want to lose you as my friend." I looked into his face beseeching him. "Don't let this hurt our friendship please."

"Fine," he whispered. His voice held pain in it as he dropped the hand he had taken. "If this isn't what you want," he said, "then I'll respect that. I won't force you into anything. I don't want lose you either."

That was the thing I loved best about Alec. He never gave you ultimatums. As long as there was option A and option B, he'd choose one instead of creating another option to best serve his interest. He didn't fight me or try to wear me down into doing something I was sure I'd regret later.

He looked where Edward had stood moments ago. "Is it him you love then?" he asked.

Knowing that I would probably not be able to lie convincingly enough to him-Alec always saw through me whenever I tried to lie-I nodded and swallowed hard. "I do."

Alec nodded. "Yeah I thought so." He chuckled grimly. "I guess I've always known. That's why I was so unhappy to see that he was back. Because I knew I would lose you to him."

"You didn't lose me, Alec," I said firmly. "You never had me to begin with."

"Oh I beg to differ. Give me another ten years and I would've worn you down eventually," he teased lightly. Glad to see he seemed to be back into his normal Alec mode, I gave him a final hug and watched him drive away his beat up Ford truck, a car he saved up for since he was sixteen eschewing the easy way out unlike Jane who just asked their parents for a car.

Sighing, I hugged myself tightly, trying to abandon all the thoughts of the last few minutes. There had been a single moment as Alec had explained to me that he wanted to be more than friends were I had been very close to the edge of granting him that request. In that single moment, I saw some happiness lying on that path with him and a future with him that I would most likely never have with Edward. That single moment had seemed so good that I was close to calling Alec back as I remembered it now but just as I had done before, I thought of Edward and I felt that moment shut down this time for good.

I would probably never have that kind of lifestyle with this love that I had for Edward. Before I could move on, I had to fall in love all over again and forget Edward before that possible moment was ever possible. And that was unlikely to ever happen.

It would have been nice though, I thought forlornly, had I been in love with Alec.

Then I might have had a happily ever after in the end too.

EPOV

I could feel the rage boiling in me as I watched this little jerk, Alec Volter, flirt with Bella. To me he seemed as unpleasant as his sister seemed to everyone else especially Bella. Of course, Bella seemed to be quite taken with him and a pang of jealousy hit me as it had that night at the ball when she'd been with the blond fellow, Jason or Jameson or something like that.

I knew what I felt was wrong. I had been able to convince myself in the past week that that night at Lauren's ball on the gallery outside that the feelings I had felt for Bella when I watched her kiss that blond man was purely based on brotherly feelings. Bella was my best friend. It had been only natural for me to feel so protective of her as I wanted to rip that man's head off, every limb shredded into piece. A monster inside me that I never knew existed felt such pleasure at imagining that moment.

But now as I hid from the field view of Bella and Alec watching them talking, I knew I couldn't convince myself with that story anymore. I felt something for Isabella Swan, this beautiful girl that I had known all my life that was more than brotherly.

There was something about her, a radiance, a light in her that made my entire perspective of everything seem to have an effervescent glow. I had convinced myself in the beginning that it was something new about her that intrigued me but as I stood here, I knew. It had always been in her. Bella had always been radiant to me like a sun to a dark cloudy sky.

But Alice! I thought hurriedly. I had always loved Alice. Ever since we were children I had loved her buoyancy, that sparkle she always seemed to have about her, her sheer beauty. But over the years, when I couldn't physically see her, it was her heart that had made fall head over heels in love with her. Her beautiful kind caring heart that was expressed as clear as daylight in her letters.

Why is it whenever I speak to her now though it seems that that heart I had fallen in love with is absent? I wondered. And then when I'm with Bella, I feel happy. Happy beyond words. There was certainly soul and heart in Bella but there was something extra special about her...What it was I didn't know.

Argh! I had to get my thoughts clear. My mind was a jumbled mess of my conflicting feelings for Bella and Alice. I had to straighten out my thoughts, get everything clear. As I tried to formulate a contingency to get myself out of this mess that was my head, a godsend arrived in the form of my mother.

She beckoned me into the Swan residence in a flour covered apron. At my asking, she explained that she had been trying to get Renee, Bella's mom, who wasn't the best at cooking to make brownies.

"But never mind that now," she said waving her baking gloved hand in the air. She pushed a pile of brownies towards me. Laughing at my wary expression-I had had one too many 'meals' of Renee's in the past-she chuckled, "I made these. Renee gave up an hour ago when the third batch deflated."

Reassured, I dug into them. "Hm, now what's the catch Mom?" I asked bluntly. Brownies? Obviously she was trying to buy me over.

Esme bit her lip. "Well sweetheart, I wanted to ask you a favour." I nodded for her to continue. "Irina is getting married this weekend and well, since we can't leave here all of a sudden, your dad and I wanted to ask you if you'd go on behalf of us all. Besides, your cousins adore you."

"Wait Irina?" I asked. "Wasn't she supposed to get married in December?"

"Yes, but her fiance, Laurent, just got a promotion and it requires them moving to France in the next month so they decided to have the wedding before they left. Even if we had known before, we wouldn't have been able to cancel this trip especially since we've been planning for so long," she explained. "I wish I could've seen Irina get married. It would have been so lovely." Her eyes glazed over as she imagined it. She shook herself out of her daydream a moment later to look at me with puppy dog eyes. "Please Edward dear?" she begged. "Will you please go?"

Thoughtfully, I chewed on the brownie. A trip to Alaska would mean less time to spend with Alice and Bella but maybe that would a good thing. I needed to straighten out my head so maybe this would help me. A weekend without either of them to pop up and confuse my thoughts even more would perhaps do me some good.

I nodded to my mother who hugged me ecstatically, flour coated and all. "Thank you son. I know you wouldn't want to leave Bella and Alice but I'm glad you're going."

"You're welcome. You're right," I admitted. "I will miss them. I'll miss all of you," I added.

Maybe this will be a good thing, I thought hopefully.

Maybe I'll finally realise who's for me.

:-:-:

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Thank you so much to the last reviewers! When I get reviews I do a little dance in my seat and then when I don't I always keep wondering if I did something wrong. But the last reviews were so amazing! Thank you so much for them. Those reviewers were: Edward-dazzles, LissaHuff, biankaaa, mell484, and , twilight-music-love, mjtonn, DoubleAA, vampiregurl, AllyAlwayz, EzziiBii, Alicesvisions, RosesFromDrew, KimboLeeCullen, RandomChickOliviaxx, twilust, k, Maryam and matster9222!

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~Steph