Life does not want me to write, but too bad. I finally finished Harlock's existential crisis chapter. And since there aren't enough character cameos in this fic, I added another one. See if you can spot it. It's real obvious.

I knew my eyes were open, but I wasn't seeing anything. All my attention was focused on sound, my ears sharpened for it. The other five on the Gullwing remained silent as well, while we all waited to hear an update. There was no way the report those men received was accurate. It wasn't possible.

"I can't believe we finally got one," the man we called Three said through our headsets. We'd since learned his name, along with the names of the two others who worked in the relay station. But we felt no reason to call them anything but numbers.

Hacking into the relay point was child's play, but hacking into the station's layout and files was a more complex matter. If we used the fastest method, their system would most likely catch us. The decryption was slow in the meantime, so slow we had nothing to do but listen in on and mock everything the relay operators said.

It stopped being funny when they received a report saying Yama was dead.

"But we lost A4 in the process," Two said.

That was why we didn't bother to call them by name; the assassins were only codenames to them.

"If we had ten more assassins, maybe we could get Harlock too," Three grumbled.

"We still have A5 to wear him down and A1 to finish him off."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you? Didn't you bet on A1?"

The others on the Gullwing jumped as I smashed my fist into the console in front of me. "Fuck!" I screamed. "Tell me about Yama!? What happened to Yama!?"

"What about the kid?" One asked.

"What kid?" I answered alongside Three.

"What's his name? Uh, A4's little brother. You think command will have us kill him too?"

They all went silent for a few breaths. "Probably," Three muttered. "They didn't hesitate when it came to Zero's wife and kid."

"Christ," Two sighed. "That kid's like twelve. I would hate to be the one to do it."

"The executioner here doesn't give a damn," One said. "But maybe command will have a change of heart."

"If they don't for this one, they won't for the rest," Two said.

"I just hope I don't have to see the bodies this time," One whispered.

It sounded like a hostage situation if I'd ever heard one. Out of desperation, we'd taken hostages a few times, but we never hurt any innocents. I couldn't believe these bastards, killing children. I would not stand for it.

"Kei," one of the boys called, a warning to his voice. Something must have shown in my face. "You know we can't-"

"We can," I hissed. "And we will. It's what Yama would've wanted."

Someone tore Yama from my arms. I didn't know who. I couldn't think straight. Couldn't see. Couldn't breathe.

My hands shot out to grasp at empty air, a desperate attempt to get him back. I had to take him to the doctor. I had to stop the blood seeping from the charred hole in his gut. He was dying, and I'd allowed it to happen. I'd seen the way Mamoru's arm moved. I knew he had a gun, knew he was going to shoot Yama point blank, but I wasn't fast enough. I could barely get out a yell before the stream of burning light tore through Yama's back.

By the time I reached him, his eye was void of light. If he heard my voice cracking or felt me shaking his limp body, he gave no sign. Just as I'd pulled him from Mamoru, Yama was taken from my grasp. In that empty moment of time, I found my vision focusing on the young man lying in front of me.

Mamoru had collapsed to his side, his hat upturned on the floor beside him. His eyes were closed, and blood pooled across his lips, bubbling as he mouthed his final words. Before I could decipher them, someone appeared in front of me, grasping my shoulders. "Captain," he said, as though behind a wall. "Hey!"

I blinked, and time began to flow properly again. My muddled thoughts gave way to the world around me. The pervasive hum of the ship continued as always, and men yelled in the halls at my back.

My irritated, young engineer stood over me with a scowl. "The guys have Yama," he said. "Come on." He tugged at my collar until I stood, too tall for him to maintain his grip.

So they'd been watching us this round, waiting in the wings for when things inevitably went sour. I suspected they'd been at it from the beginning. Usually, they stayed in the hall until we dragged ourselves out, but they had to step in this time. I couldn't say I wasn't relieved. Trying to carry Yama in my condition would have taken too long, and even if my damaged leg managed the trip, I could only carry one at a time.

The irritated engineer began to stalk off when I grabbed him by the arm. "Mamoru too," I felt myself say.

His eyes went wide. "What? The assassin!?"

"We might still be able to save him."

The kid looked at me like I'd lost my mind, and perhaps I had. But it was for the best. I could feel rage burning somewhere- no, everywhere. It coursed through my veins, told me to feel sick relief as Mamoru lay dying.

But this was my fault, not his. All of this came back to me. The assassins were nothing but unlucky pawns, and I wanted to save this one. For Yama.

I'd never heard Yama laugh like he laughed with Mamoru. His eye lit up with his joy even as he cried. There were more worthwhile reasons to save Mamoru, but that was enough for me. The man deserved to live for Yama's sake. I'd already taken so much from Yama. At the very least, I wanted to give him this.

Despite the uneasy glances, my men scooped up the assassin on my orders and rushed him to the infirmary. "He's the one who shot Yama, you know," the kid grumbled as he handed me my crutch.

I knew that better than anyone. I saw it happen every time I closed my eye, and I could hear Mamoru's broken apologies alongside Yama's soft cry of pain and confusion. But at the same time, I could hear the two of them laughing. I could hear the regret and loss and longing laced in every word they'd spoken.

At the time, I'd wanted to intrude on it - on them - but now the thought made me sick. My mere existence separated them. All the pain they felt was because of me, and as I stood outside the infirmary, I could only place my burning rage upon myself.

If there was any justice in this world, they would both survive.

But, perhaps, there was none.

"I'm only one man," the doctor sighed, his hands trembling as he tilted a bottle back. "I can only perform one surgery at a time. There was no chance for me to save both."

The room smelled sharp with blood and sterile chemicals as Yama's heart monitor followed a steady beat of beeping. The other bed held nothing but a white sheet over a body. Maybe if I'd recruited two doctors, or if I'd given him better medical equipment, or if Mamoru had been brought in first…

"So Mamoru had a chance," I murmured.

The doctor gave a curious hum as the alcohol steadied his hands. "The assassin? I may have been able to save him. There's no guarantee, but if I'd focused on him, Yama probably wouldn't have made it."

The smell of the room left a bitter taste in my mouth. It wrinkled my nose and furrowed my brow. The doctor seemed surprised. "You think I should have saved the assassin?"

No, that wasn't right. That wasn't what I thought. I would never want Yama to die, but I still wanted for Mamoru to live. "He didn't do this of his own free will," I sighed. "He was doing this to save someone. He was blackmailed." That was all I could understand of "Susumu," though Yama seemed to recognize the name.

The doctor looked at me as though I was some petulant child. "I'm not saying he deserved to die. But Yama is one of our own. He comes first. I would have saved the kid if I could've, but the damage to his lungs was messy. Even if I'd neglected Yama and started with him, I may have just lost them both."

He took another swig of sake and spoke again before I could. "Captain, I think all this stress is getting to you. Go sit with Yama for a bit while I take care of the body. Maybe get some rest if you can, but don't be too hard on yourself. If you get too down, Kei won't let you hear the end of it when she gets back."

After one more drink, he took Mamoru away to the back room, and I dragged myself to Yama's side. We'd done this too often as of late, enough for a lifetime. The chair I sat in had moved one way or another, but always for us. Even so, I felt like I could breathe again. Yama was alive – pale as death, but alive.

I must have watched his chest rise and fall for hours, until his eyelid fluttered along with a sharp intake of breath. He made some noise, maybe an attempt at speech, as he fought to keep his eyes open.

"Yama," I called. "It's alright. You can sleep."

Turning to find me, he answered with a whine. Half-words formed and died on his unruly tongue as he wriggled his hand through the gaps in the bed's railing. It couldn't have been comfortable with the awkward angle of his arm, but I took his hand as it seemed he wanted me too. A smile traced his lips as his eyelid grew too heavy for him.

I doubted he recalled what had happened or understood where he was. My hand clasping his was enough to keep him content. For this one moment, he could be unaware and happy. As I pressed the backs of his fingers to my lips, I hoped he could stay that way a while longer. I hoped his dreams would be kind to him. It would be alright as long as he could sleep.

At times, I slept alongside him. The first time I woke with a crick in my neck to the doctor grumbling until I moved to a new bed he'd prepared. I never seemed to stay asleep for long. Whenever I woke, I'd check on Yama. The color returned to his cheeks shade by shade. After a night of half-dozes, I spent the morning limping around the ship's corridors, checking on whatever I could. The men said there was nothing to report and shooed me away each time. Soft, relaxing hues filled the computer room, either from relief or sorrow. My friend was quiet.

The hangar was cleaned in my absence. Only a few burnt scars along the wall remained as evidence of the fight. With nothing else to do, I was forced back toward the infirmary.

My young engineer caught up to me before I reached it. "Do something with this," he snapped, tossing something my way. My hands shot up to catch it on instinct.

It was Mamoru's hat, crisp and new unlike Zero's. He must have had some rank in order to earn it, if it truly belonged to him. I wasn't certain what to do with it, but I was certain the kid would be upset with me if I didn't make some use of it. He was always irritated about something.

I decided the best course of action was to send it off with its owner; then I stepped through the infirmary door.

Yama was awake. He still looked exhausted, his eye unfocused and heavy as it fell my way. That touch of a smile returned at the sight of me, but the sadness in his eye marred it. "Harlock," he breathed.

I tried to hide my limp as I strode to his side, and he tried to keep his smile as his gaze found the hat in my hands.

"Are you in any pain?" I asked too quickly.

Though his smile widened, it seemed weaker. "Ah, it hurts," he mumbled, his voice thin and raw. "It hurts to breathe. Hurts to move."

Tears pricked at the corner of his eye as he reached out a trembling hand once again. But this was not for me. I placed the hat in his grasp, and his fingers curled around the brim. "He's gone," he said as if confirming it for himself. "He's gone too. He's gone." Bringing the cap to his face, he hid behind it as shuddered gasps tore through him.

Once more, I felt the need to intrude. Perhaps this last moment should have just been for Yama and Mamoru, but I couldn't stand there while Yama tried to hold back his sobs. For fear of agitating his wound further, I ran my fingers through his hair, murmuring apologies until he cried himself to sleep.

I tucked the cap under his arm and watched his blotchy, tear-stained face until the doctor walked in, yawning. "Can you keep him asleep?" I asked.

The doctor jolted as though I'd slapped him. Rather than question me, he crossed his arms and waited for my explanation.

"Just until I can guarantee no other assassins are coming. And if they do come, I think it would be best if he doesn't go through this anymore."

With a slow, enraged sigh, Dr. Zero reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Captain," he said at length. "You understand that you're asking me to remove the freedom of one of your crewmen. Doing this without Yama's knowledge or consent goes against… well, my morals for one thing." He threw up his hand with a growl. "Do you really think it's a good idea?"

"I'm not certain," I admitted. "But I know this is killing him as much as the wounds are. I don't know who the remaining assassins are or if they'll even show up, but it will be better if he doesn't see them die… or me die."

The doctor began pacing, more irritated with me than he'd been in some time, yet he hadn't said no. "That all sounds nice in theory – except I won't let you die, so no dice there – but do you really think that's what Yama would want? You think if he heard you pitch that idea, he'd be a willing participant?"

"No, but I don't think he's in a stable enough position to make the best decision for himself."

"And you think you are?" Dr. Zero scoffed.

I hesitated. He was right, after all. I knew this decision went against my ideals as well as his, and I would almost certainly regret it later. Yama would hate me when he found out, but if we didn't ensure his inability to move, he would want to meet with the other assassins. He would want to see the duels and possibly take part in them. He was too stubborn for his own good.

And so was I.

"You know he'll try to move if another assassin arrives, likely today or tomorrow," I said. "The alarm will go off, and he'll drag himself out of that bed even if his wound reopens."

Zero's eyes narrowed on me. "I know. He's just like you. You both want to kill yourselves in the most inane ways. Fine-fine." He waved me out of the way as he strode forward. "I can't exactly put him in a coma, so he'll still wake up. But I can keep him so exhausted he won't know what the alarm's for or which way the door is."

That sounded suspiciously similar to a few experiences I could only vaguely recall, but I stayed quiet as the doctor tapped out the dosage for Yama's drip. The empty bag beside the IV filled with some transparent, pink drug, which flowed down the line to Yama's arm.

I already felt a tinge of regret, but this was what was best for Yama. He needed rest, an escape from this Hell, and this was the only way to ensure it.

The doctor heaved another sigh as he turned to me. "You really think the last of the assassins will come? What is it? Two more?"

I nodded. "Helmatier suggested Gaia was doing this as test for the assassins. Killing one of us would prove their loyalty, at least in the case of Zero. I would stand to reason that Mamoru was in the same boat. They used someone he cared about as a bargaining chip and blackmailed him into this mission, just like with Zero's family. That suggests that his mission was a test of loyalty as well. Either that, or he knew too much. As things stand, it looks to me that Gaia isn't doing this in the hopes that one assassin will take us out. They want to wash their hands of these assassins entirely."

"So the last two may be blackmailed as well?"

My brows knitted as I considered it. There were too many variables for a sure answer. "Yama suggested that they might be willing to come of their own free will because of the reward. Killing one of us would mean better lives for their families, but at this point, I'm not certain Gaia has any charitable plans toward the families of these assassins. Mamoru said Zero's family was killed, and Mamoru feared his own loved-one dying."

If Gaia had no reason to uphold their end of the bargain, they would not. Even if this Susumu was an innocent in all of this, he was likely a burden on Gaia if they were holding him prisoner. They would simply remove him from the equation like Zero's family.

"No matter their reasons, I believe the last of the assassins will come," I said. "Gaia has shown no care for their well-being. It is likely Gaia wants them dead, and they're all being sent here in the hopes that maybe they can be of a bit more use before Gaia disposes of them."

"Very well," Dr. Zero grumbled. "Then let's get your knee braced in case you're stupid enough to duel the next one."

I'd hoped to avoid that, but the doctor would not hear of it. The brace was so tight, I could feel it rubbing my skin raw with each step, but I could almost hide my limp with it. The pain of my knee no longer knocked at the back of my skull; unfortunately, it was only a temporary fix. The longer I used it, the longer my knee would take to heal. But if it kept me alive, it was worth the price.

I should have waited on the bridge for the assassin. Should have gotten a new pair of gloves to replace the ones caked with dried blood. But I stayed at Yama's side, my gloves hanging at the foot of his bed.

He twitched in his sleep at times, troubled by some dream. I wanted to lie next to him just to hold him as long as I could, but I didn't want to agitate his wound. I didn't wish to rouse him with pain. Instead, I traced circles through his hair, still a bit soft from the bath. With him asleep, I couldn't tell him goodbye when the alarm finally sounded. I couldn't promise I'd return. I couldn't apologize for keeping him prisoner in his sleep.

But I kissed his chapped lips, hoping he might feel it in his dreams. "I love you," I breathed, brushing my thumb across his cheek. "I'll be back."

As I pulled away, his eyelid fluttered, but he fell asleep as quickly as he woke. I doubted he'd even seen me.

The walk to the bridge was a long one. The men seemed uncertain on what to say, so they all stayed quiet as I passed. By the time I stepped off the lift, the lone fighter was in range and requesting a transmission as always. I strode to Kei's console as the bridge crew remained quietly irritated. In all honesty, it took me a moment to recall the codes. I hadn't manned the communications console in ages, so I drew out the process further. A few feet were tapping by the time I confirmed the link.

"Finally," a young voice grumbled. Too young. As young as the face staring at me from the overhead. He couldn't have been more than twelve or thirteen, too young to mask his fear with anger. Deep, brown eyes couldn't hold my gaze and darted away to every corner of his fighter. His hair matched his eyes and was long enough to curl around cheeks still pudgy with baby fat.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. He was too young to be an assassin, too small.

"I'm here to kill you," he snapped, irritable like my young engineer. But his anger seemed to stem from anxiety, his breathing and speech a little too quick. "M-my name is Tadashi Monono," he said, rubbing at his eye as he tried to fight back the brimming tears. "I'm r-rank five."

"They're blackmailing you too, aren't they?" I asked.

He crushed his lower lip between his teeth, his shoulders trembling. After a few halted attempts at speech, he whispered his answer. "I don't care about you. I have to save my little sister, so you have to die. I can't lose."

I wasn't originally intending for the doctor to be Dr. Zero because I was writing him so irritated with the boys the whole time, but I decided to go ahead and label him that way. Grumpy, CG Dr. Zero. Seems about right.