#Choices

"Saguru, what's wrong?" called my father for the fifth time that evening, I was speechless and I couldn't eat a bite. Her words had taken all my mind, what will I do and how will I ask Shiho to come along to that place. "Son," he said touching my hand, "I don't know what she told you but I am sorry for everything. She sounded very upset when she spoke to me, saying that protecting Miyano-san will only get you killed. I'm truly sorry because I can't help but son, this life in unfair and you know that very well. I loved your mother, and I still love her but she, she is different and she can't love back. She won't love me back, that's a truth I've known for thirty years. She is possessed by that man like a ghost. -"He said before I interrupted him. "In twenty-six years, this is the first time you spoke of her. Why is that? why did I grew up ignoring the woman who was my mother and why should I listen to her?". I looked at him, my father was for once different, not the strong father that wouldn't get moved by anything, his eyes were blank somehow as if remembering something. I rose from my chair, I knew that I had to go and see Shiho, we had no time. "I just wonder …" I said taking a few seconds to think of the best way to say it "how could you marry someone like her, you're a man of justice and she, she is a very dangerous criminal?" I paused a few seconds then headed to my bedroom, I was climbing the stairs when I heard him whisper "I loved her too much".

It was a few minutes past nine, I took my phone for the fifth time and I wondered how can tell her to join me on such a crazy journey. It hurts, to take her back to that place, knowing what she went through there but, hundreds of lives would depend on this decision. I felt exhausted, i can't drag her back to that old, Tooru-kun told me a lot of things about her, and I felt it was some kind of betrayal; that life hurt her so much and she didn't deserve this, didn't deserve to go back to that hell.

I made a cup of tea to relax, I bought some novels that I hadn't the time to read in England, and on this nice starry night, it felt so right to read under the moonlight. I read a few pages, the house was quiet, Professor was attending some inventors' ceremony and I have just finished packing for the trip to Osaka where the wedding was to be held.

The phone suddenly rang. And no feels good about a phone that rings suddenly.

"Hello" I said wondering what bad news was I expecting. "Shiho-chan, it's me" said the voice on the other end.

"Saguru-kun, it's been a while, how are you?" I asked, half relieved that this wasn't that crime magnet calling to inform me about some disaster. "Fine, and you?" Saguru asked. "Fine actually, Granma said that you had heavy rain in London, you are not wearing thin aren't you?" I asked knowing his bad habits of neglecting his health. "Well, I'm fine, I'm not actually in London" he replied. "Where then? Business trip?" I asked. "No, actually, Hattori-kun invited me to the wedding, So, would you open the door please?" he replied. "Are you standing by the door?" I asked in disbelief, and headed to the front door to open it. "Thank you" he said entering, "what a surprise" I closed the door and walked him to the terrace. "Shall I make you a cup of tea?" I asked still under the effect of the surprise. "No, we need coffee, really strong coffee because unfortunately I'm not bringing good news" he replied, his voice cracked and his smile suddenly vanished. And then, I was just uneasy.

Back with coffee, he was still seating still, his head rested in his hands, covered by his palms, he lifted his head slowly looking at me with blank eyes, I sat facing him, searching for the words to say. It felt hard to see him like that and I simply didn't know what to expect, what bad news will he speak.

"Saguru .." I said, I heard my voice weak tone and it scared me "please say it straight, whatever it is, I have no nerves to hear a long introduction" I said trying to control my voice and my nerves as much as I could.

"Shiho, there is no other way to say it, my mother came today and she wants us" he said trying to make no eye contact.

"Your mother?" I wondered "You never spoke of her, and what does she want from us?"

"You know her very well, maybe if I said Vermouth you'd recognize her." He said. I was suddenly speechless, I remembered it all, all those years in that hell. The days I could never forget, the days that were so dark and the days which stained my memory. "I'm sorry…" he added "I should have told you this but, I just couldn't know how I'd do it." He said, his voice cracked and he looked suddenly paler.

"I don't understand, just tell me what does she want from us?, wasn't she trying to kill me two months ago?" I asked feeling lost.

"she said that if we don't join them, she would do all kinds of 'incidents' tomorrow at the wedding, and she would kill you on the spot" he replied, his eyes fixed on the cup of coffee that no longer produced steam.

"You mean we're left with no good choices." I paused a moment, trying to find the courage to tell them about it all, about all the reasons that make me unable to go back there. "Saguru, I never told you about this but, …"he interrupted me. "Shiho, you don't need to. Tooru-kun told me about it all."

"Tooru-kun?" I exclaimed. "he came to my office a few days ago, saying that based on his experience, I should follow you at once because you'd ran away and you'd never be back to London. Because you are scared of your past, and he said that whatever you lived isn't something that one should remember." He said looking into my eyes, I felt my face grow hot and my tears running down, the memories I kept hidden for years had come to light, and I felt out of words, somehow chocked or out of breath. the memories were coming back and everything, the voices, the smells everything suddenly felt so true.

"Shiho, are you alright?" he said numerous times but I couldn't respond, he stood up and hurriedly came back with a glass of water and gave it to me.

"Are you better? I'm sorry, I really am." He said seating back in his chair. "it's alright" I replied, hardly finding the words. "So, we need to go I suppose, we can't risk the lives of all these people. And at worst, they'd kill me, I'm sure no harm would reach you and this is reassuring" I said a few minutes later.

"No, I wouldn't accept this. I'll find a way and we will be both fine" he replied and I felt his doubt in his voice.

There was silence that fell between us. And time went on very slowly. We sank in ours thoughts for a while, and I could see him broken as much I was. But there were no words to ease our fear, and there was no way to escape our fate.

"Shiho," he said suddenly. "What it is Saguru?" I asked trying to smile. "I brought you this, this a promise that no harm shall reach you." He said putting a ring box on the coffee table. I took it and opening it, there was a beautiful golden ring with an emerald stone. "I can't take it Saguru" I said putting it back on the table. "I'm not the right person for you and you know that. And I wouldn't let you make a promise that you can't keep. Once we're there, our lives will depend on a single order from some psychopath… my safety is just beyond your control." I added my voice becoming weaker with every word. "What we are about to do, is the only choice we have, don't be sad and don't cry over my tomb, if I ever got one, saying that you loved me because it will only add to your grief. Live well and get a girl who doesn't have a torturing past like mine, you have a good heart and you deserve all the best. My days have become numbered and I must be lucky to have lived until now…-"

"Stop this Shiho, I am sorry I dragged you into this but trust me, I'd anything, literally anything to assure your safety" he interrupted me.

"You know nothing of that place… no one leaves alive, that's the first thing they tell you there."

Please R&R. I really need to know what you think pf this, if it's so bad just tell me and i'll stop writing