It's almost overrrrrrrrr :) Hope you enjoy!!

Britta's POV-

Dana was to my right, John to my left. I sat in the pews of the church as the pastor talked about the boys. The reality of Kennedy really being gone had settled in, but I still didn't want to believe it. I couldn't feel it. I was supposed to feel it. Like an army wife or something; their husband could pass away overseas and before anyone tells them, they just…know. Your hearts slows to a near stop and nothing feels real. They just know. Why didn't I feel like that? Why couldn't feel the end? Why did everything still feel real? I knew love was real. And Kennedy was real. And these feelings, all the feelings pulsing through me, they were real too.

"Let's take a moment of silence." The pastor bowed his head and I let mine drop as well. I could feel my hands begin to shake as I tried to inhale. Something was stopping my breathing. I wasn't choking, but I just couldn't inhale. I wouldn't let myself. John noticed my shaking hands and dropped his in mine. I looked up at him and he smiled.

"It's gonna be okay," he mouthed.

I didn't respond. I dropped my head back down and clutched onto John's hand. For some reason, it felt…okay, his hand in mine. I didn't mind that his palms were a little sweaty and that he had those dumb glasses on at a memorial service. He was 23 but was still in the mindset of an 18 year old. I loved that about him, his youth. He was like Peter Pan.

The pastor said his closing statements and everyone began to slowly get up from their seats. I stayed in mine, John still holding my hand. Dana sat up, with Hawke in her lap, and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"You gonna be alright?" she asked.

"I'm uh," I finally replied, "I'm fine."

"Alright, well I'm gonna get Hawke out of here. I think he's still a little tired and I don't want him to see you all upset."

"No it's okay," I shook my head, "he can come home with me."

"Britt, maybe tomorrow, but tonight I think you need a night to yourself. I mean, you're obviously still not yourself."

"Dana, really. I just want my son, I'm fine."

Dana got up and grabbed her clutch off the floor, "I'll call you tomorrow, Britt. All Hawke's stuff is at my house anyway. One more night won't be too bad, just relax tonight."

Before I could respond, Dana sauntered away and out of the church. The tears began to fall as I collapsed onto John's chest. He lightly kissed my forehead and began to rub my shoulder. We were still holding hands when he softly whispered, "come on let's go."

"She has my baby," I cried.

"She's taking care of him," John justified, "and she's right, you just need a night to yourself tonight."

"But I want my son," I replied, "It's not fair. My husband dies and I can't even see my son."

"I'm sure he would want to see you too," John urged, "but you just need to relax tonight. You've gone through a lot today. I mean, we're at Kennedy's memorial service. You can't be very…stable right now."

"Stable? You're kidding right? I'm fine John."

"Okay," John threw his hands up in defense and suddenly mine felt cold.

"Let's just go," I whispered as I sat up. As I left the church I watched as I passed my members of Kennedy and the rest of the bands family. Rachael stood, alone, at the end of the stairs pregnant and crying. I stopped midstep and just looked at her. She was so broken and I knew there was nothing I could do to fix this. I just stood there for a second until Jen walked up to Rachael and handed her a tissue. Jen looked up at me and her hazel eyes locked on mine. My best friend since I was 13 stood before me, a widow, and I had to go through it just the same.

I descended the stairs and stepped up to Rachael's side. Without a word I pulled her into a hug and we cried on each other's shoulders. Jen grabbed my hand and I squeezed. Pulling her into the hug, we placed out head together and simultaneously took in a deep breath.

"Look at us," Jen whispered, "this can't be happening."

"The baby's due next month," Rachael solemnly stated.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

"Don't be," she shook her head, "I'm sure it's even harder for you. With the twins and everything."

"I'm alright," I shrugged, "they've been with Kenny's mom and Byron. I haven't seen them in a while."

"Why?" Jen asked.

"Well, I guess I'm on suicide watch or something," I half joked.

Rachael picked at her nails as Jen pulled out another tissue. "We should all really like get together or something soon." She suggested.

"Yeah, like a girl's day or something," I agreed.

"Sounds like a good idea. So like me, you guys, Tessa, Lacey…actually where is Lacey?" Rachael asked.

"She's in Italy," I replied, "Antonio never signed the annulment papers so she went over there to get him to sign them."

"And she hasn't come home yet?" Jens eye brows rose as she bit at her lower lip.

"She must've fallen in love with the country," I suggested.

"Oh yeah…the country," Rachael rolled her eyes.

Lacey's POV-

Sophia handed me my plate of different chesses and some bread. She sat down at the table across from me and poured herself a glass of wine.

"When's Antonio coming home from work?" I asked.

"Right now," she pointed towards the door just as Antonio stepped in.

"My beautiful Lacey," he smiled, "how was your day?"

"Just fine," I replied, "Sophia's been taking care of me. We went to the Trevi Fountain today."

Antonio set his wallet down on the counter and pried open the fridge. He pulled out a stick of pepperoni and prepared himself a sandwich.

"Oh really?" he began, "did you make a wish?"

"Yes I did," I replied.

"What'd you wish for?" he asked as he joined us at the table.

"I wished that I'd never have to leave," I answered.

Antonio chuckled and pulled me into a kiss.

"Oh come on, not at the table," Sophia joked.

Antonio pressed his lips harder onto mine and slowly pulled away whispering, "wish granted."

"What are you talking about?" I laughed, "I have to go home."

"Why?" he asked.

That was the first time I had thought of John in a long long time. The whole reason I had come over here was to get the papers signed so I could go home and marry John. But now that I was over here I never wanted to leave. I didn't want to annul our marriage…and I didn't want to marry John.

"I just have to," I replied.

"Give me one reason you have to go back home, Lacey Benicia."

That was it. I couldn't think of one. One single reason to go home. Not John or Carolyn. Or my parents, or anyone. There was no reason for me to go home. I was staying in Italy. Forever.

"Could you excuse me for a second?" I got up from the table and left Antonio and Sophia with confused looks upon their face.

I reached my room and dug in my bag for the papers. Grabbing the crumpled up documents I flipped the page and was surprised to see there was writing on Antonio's signature line. IN perfect cursive was written "I told you you'd fall in love with him. Welcome to the family."

Then I tore them to shreds.

Britta's POV-

We sat in John's car on the way home in silence. No radio. No talking. No breathing. I looked over at John and tried to think of something to say, but nothing would come up.

"So Britt," John began, "what are you going to do now?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean, it's like…you can start over. Kennedy's gone; don't you just want to get away? Forget about all this."

"I can't do that."

"Sure you can," John urged, "just throw a dart at a map and go. You can go anywhere you want, be anyone you want. You're Britta. You're amazing."

"You really mean that?"

"Of course I do," John exclaimed, "Britt, you're like…you're my hero. You've been through so much and you're still so strong. You've been going through shit that no one should have to since you were 18…and look how far you've come. I admire you."

"Wow John that really…that really means a lot to me."

"When Kennedy brought you home," John continued, "a long time ago, you were scared out of your mind. I could tell, and don't tell me you weren't because I knew you were. You were barely 18, across the country with a guy you just met. But you know what; you never stumbled or lost it. You just let it all go, and now look at you. World tours, three beautiful kids…"

"And a dead husband," I added.

"Okay, a minor setback," John replied.

I smacked his arm and let out a small chuckle. That was the first time I had laughed in a long time. It felt nice. Being with John felt nice.

"You're giving me too much credit, kid. I didn't do it all alone; I always had someone there to help me."

"Yeah, but who cares about them," John smiled, "they didn't sell your records, they didn't introduce you to Taylor Swift. They didn't give birth to twins!"

"Oh John," I rolled my eyes, "I love you."

"I love you too, Britt."

My visit with Gabi flashed in my memory and I went over our conversation over and over in my head.

"Do you think you'll ever be able to fall in love like that again?" Gabi asked.

"I think so," I replied, "I think I am right now."

Then Jess's quality advice popped in my head.

"Don't let this break you," she urged, "Keep pushing. Live life. Go to Paris. Fall in love. Whoever it may be…Eric, John…whoever, just follow your heart.

"No John," I finally breathed, "I really love you."

"And I really love you too," John laughed.

"John, you don't get it," I tried again; "I'm in love with you."

John stopped for a second and then put the hazards on. He pulled over to the side of the road and unhooked his seat belt. Turning and facing me he took in a deep breath and stared into my eyes.

"What did you just say?"

"I said I'm in love with you John," I replied, "and I don't know for how long I've been, but I am. I'm in love with you."

"Britt, I think this day has just been too much for you, you don't know what you're saying…"

"I know exactly what I'm saying John," I interrupted him, "I'm in love with you."

John sighed and pulled off his glasses. He rubbed his face as cars zoomed by us, nosily staring into the car. John hit his palm to the steering wheel and opened his mouth to speak, but soon closed it again.

"Are you going to say something?"

"I don't know what to say," John replied, "I mean; you're saying you're in love with me."

"Aren't you in love with me?"

"Britt, I love you...but Lacey…"

"Lacey? You're kidding me right? How many times has she fucked you over? You know in your heart she's still in love with John Ohh. She'll never be over him."

"Oh really Britt, cause he's dead."

"And Lacey doesn't even know! Because she's over in Italy, probably jumping Antonio's bones."

"Don't say that!"

"Why? You know it's true! Don't get mad at me for actually speaking the truth. I'm being completely honest with you right now John, and honestly, I'm in love with you."

"Would you stop saying that?"

"Why? Does it bother you? I'm in love with you, John. I'm in love with you, John. I'm in love with you, John. I'm in love with you, John. I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU, JOHN."

"Just stop!" he exclaimed.

"Just tell me you love me too!"

"Of course I love you," he yelled, "but I can't…"

"Yes. You. Can!"

Finally John loosened his muscles and sat back in the seat. "I knew this was going to happen."

"What?' I asked.

"I knew we were going to fall for each other," he shook his head, "I told myself it was going to happen."

"Well, we already had sex, so we skipped a few steps. Oh and we were technically parents too, so hell…we should just get married and call it the American dream."

"You are unbelievable," John shook his head.

"No, I'm in love with you. What's unbelievable is the fact that you haven't kissed me yet…"

Sighing, John leaned forward in his seat and reached out for my chin. He rested his forehead on mine and I watched as his finger tips began to shake.

"Just kiss me," I whispered.

John began to nudge his lips towards mine and I felt my whole body begin to tingle. His lips grazed mine and I pushed in closer. Suddenly a vibrating began in my lap and the car filled with This Century's "Money Honey."

Breaking apart, I grabbed my phone and read the screen. John leaned back in his seat, his cheeks turning red.

"Who is it?" he asked.

"Eric," I replied. Against my best judgment, I answered the phone.

"Hey Britt," he weakly said into the phone. "I'm sorry I left the service early. You just, you know how I am about like the emotional stuff."

"You should have to me you left," I replied, "I would have come out with you. I know you don't like getting emotional in front of a lot of people, but you hate being alone more."

"You're right," he replied.

"So what's up?" I asked.

"Nothing, I was just wondering if you wanted to come to my parent's house for dinner tonight. Dana's going to be there with Hawke and I think it'd be nice that you got to see him… and my mom's wanted to see you."

"That's sounds great," I replied, "but one thing, could I maybe bring John?"

"John Gomez?"

"Yeah," I replied, biting my lip.

"Oh uhm, you know what, if you want to do it on another night you're free that's fine…"

"No, no, it's okay," I stopped him. "I'll be there…alone."