Insults

"She has the best insults!" Sirius cried out. He stood in front of a pin board. He slowly raised and lowered a piece of parchment next to the already pinned ones. "I don't know where to put it…" He looked at Remus and Peter for help. "Tell me, is: 'Miracle baby, my ass. Your parents preformed a dark ritual to get you. That would finally explain some things about you, Potter!' better or worse than 'Potter, you inane dumpster fire, we all know that you pull your band of cheerleaders with you, because otherwise there won't be two brain cells between you to rub together. And they both belong to Remus!'"

James groaned and hid his face in his pillow. Maybe he was trying to suffocate himself. At one point James had started to ask Lily Evans out. In the beginning she had been a bit shocked and confused, maybe even a bit flattered and she had rejected him with kind words and an apologizing James couldn't just move on. The idea, to never be with Lily hurt too much for that, so he asked again and again. But with time, when he didn't gave up his quest to woo her, her words got less kind and the smile turned into a scowl. At one point her hands started to flex as if she wanted to strangle him, and the only thing that stopped her from physically harming him was the pleasure of throwing crude insults at him.

Sirius loved them and started his personal Top Ten list of Lily Evans Insults. He had all of them pinned on a board next to his bed.

"Better!" Peter shouted in excitement.

"Well, while I personally love the brain cell one, I have to agree." Remus added. "And if only because that one has McGonagall's seal of approval."

"Does not!" James shouted against his pillow, but the other could understand him just fine.

"It does."

James lifted his pillow for a moment. "She told Evans to watch her mouth or she would get detention." James knew he was sulking, but he couldn't help it.

"Yes, she did, but she said it with the same not-smile she always has on her face when she ends a Quidditch party. The 'do-as-I-tell-you-because-I-don't-want-to-punish-you-for-this-because-I-agree not-smile'." Remus explained.

"Good point. It's a better insult!" Sirius sounded far too happy about collecting all the insults James' love of his life threw at him.

James glared at his best friend the whole time as he rearranged the list in its new order. Over Sirius head he saw the untouchable number one spot and had to smile a little bit. It wasn't an insult directed at James, but some of the stinky Slytherin idiots her friend Snivellus hung out with when they harassed a muggleborn first year. 'Pureblood society, the living proof why incest is a terrible idea.'

It was an all time favorite from all of them. Sirius had even made himself a shirt with that print. Better even, even Remus agreed that she had said those words with more bail, disgust and anger, than anything she threw at James. Which meant Lily did not really really really meant the things she said to him, right?

Maybe Sirius was right, even if James would never tell him so. But

James was sure of it. Lily Evans had the best insults.

AN. Thank you to Dreamworkser for beta reading this story.

To the chapter:

I prefer Lily and James getting along as well, but sadly that is not the case yet in their development. This chapter is rooted in my personally annoyance to read the words bullying toerag over and over again. So my Lily is thinking up new insults again and again, much to the other marauders amusement.

In the beginning I said Lily was kind and even flattered by James advances on her, because really, teenage girl are not just jumping the gun on a guy if they ask her out. This is the first time for Lily that someone pays her such attention and it is a bit embarrassing, but it's exciting as well, even if you don't want to go out with the boy and James was a popular and good looking boy. James took her kindness as an encouragement and doubles down on his advances. That again leads to her being more embarrassed and starting to get annoyed by him. But even when she insults him, she is creative about it and thinks about him. He makes her think about him and not so much about other boys, by always trying to get her attention. James of course is still hurt by her rejection, but his friends have seen him moping about it so often to pay him much mind.

I want to thank everybody for their kind reviews and their interest in my story. And yes maybe Mrs. Norris has some kneazle blood, it would explain a lot about her.

Please leave a review for me to enjoy and have a nice day everybody.