Chapter 10. Oh baby!

Renee stayed the first week after the baby was born, and then hesitantly went to join her husband who was in Cincinnati waiting for her. Alice and Jasper reassured Renee that they would take wonderful care of Bella and JJ, as the baby was called. True to her word, Alice was wonderful with him, and the baby seemed just as happy with Alice. Alice had even worked out a system in which she used a hot water bottle under her clothing to hold JJ against when she was rocking him to sleep. Bella noted that it was handy to have a vampire as a nursemaid, since they don't sleep. Alice got up with the baby overnight, allowing Bella to regain her strength and get her sleep. It was also handy to have Jasper around to soothe the baby when he was colicky. As much as Bella's heart was broken with missing Jacob, she was very thankful for her friends. Bella was a wonderful mother to JJ; it came to her naturally.

After the first month of JJ's life, Rosalie and Emmett came to visit, and although Bella never felt like Rosalie approved of her, she finally understood that it had less to do with her, and move to do with her choices. Bella shuddered when she realized that if she had followed through with her decision to become a vampire, she would have never had the opportunity to be a mother, and the thought almost devastated her. She was especially touched as she watched Rosalie hold JJ, finally realizing everything Rosalie had been forced to give up. She was happy she could at least give Rosalie a few days of happiness with JJ. She mused to herself that this was probably the only baby Rosalie had every been allowed near since she had become a vampire. She was touched after Rosalie and Emmett left when Alice told her that Rosalie had set up a trust-fund for JJ. She normally would have objected, however she knew that JJ had captured a large part of Rosalie's heart and she didn't want to hurt Rosalie by refusing the gift.

Carlisle and Esme were the next to visit, and she was especially touched when Carlisle gave JJ the gift of one of his beloved crosses that used to hang on the wall in the Fork's home. When Bella objected, Carlisle simply reminded her that in his heart she would always be his daughter, making JJ part of his family as well. Esme was the epitome of a doting Grandmother, and they both promised to visit again soon. Edward never came to visit, which was actually a relief to Bella. She could not imagine sharing Jacob's son with Edward, knowing Jacob had never been able to see or hold him. It just somehow didn't feel right.

Once they were alone again with all the company gone, Bella worked up the nerve to ask Alice if she knew any news of Jacob. Alice hesitated and then finally admitted to her friend that Jacob was physically fine. When Bella pushed her, she then admitted that he was dating many girls. The words stabbed Bella, although she told herself it was what she had wanted, it was necessary.

Alice has already paid for Bella's college classes, and Bella began the task at hand. When she tried to object with Alice's financial help, Alice simply waved her hand at Bella reminding her that money was nothing to her, that she would just go buy a lottery ticket anytime she needed more.

The next two years passed by quickly with Alice and Jasper staying with Bella and JJ, helping her through some of the toughest years of her life. It was tough being a single mother, and Bella swore she didn't know how she could have survived it had it not been for the support of her family and friends. All my family that is except for Charlie. Bella had somehow managed to keep JJ a secret from Charlie for years. Once the first two years passed, it always felt to Bella like there was no way to tell him then after keeping it a secret for so many years.

When Phil was let go from the team in JJ's third year, Alice saw that it was time for her and Jasper to move on. She simply told Bella that she was ready to stand on her own, and now that her mother would be back in town, she really didn't need Alice anymore. Although Bella missed her friend terribly, she knew that she had asked more of Alice than anyone had the right to ask from a friend. She instead thanked Alice and made her promise to visit often. True to her word, Alice and Jasper visited Bella and JJ several times a year.

With Renee's help watching JJ, Bella managed to graduate from college with a BA in Journalism. She was quickly hired as a writer at the local paper where she had completed her insternship. It didn't take long before she started to make a name for herself with her articles, although she choose to write under the pseudonym B. Black. Not only was it a way for her to preserve her privacy, but it made her feel connected to Jacob in some way. JJ took up most of her time, and she managed to make a few friends at the paper. She is content with her life and her son, however there is always a missing piece. A large 6'5" wolf shaped piece, she realized sadly. As much as Bella controlled her thoughts during the day, her mind escaped her at night while she slept, and she dreamt of Jacob often.

Bella was excited, as JJ's fifth birthday was approaching. She planned his party, and bought him a spider-man cake. As always, she sat the night before his party pulled out her pen and paper and started to once again write a letter that would never be mailed:

"Dear Jacob – Your son will be five tomorrow, which seems almost impossible to me. At times it seems like only a few months ago that JJ was created and other times seems like a lifetime ago. I find myself wondering if you are married, or if you have other children. I would imagine you would by now, and you are fulfilling the destiny you were born to. Let's see, about JJ at almost five-year-old – he is really smart Jacob, and he has a way of instantly seeing a situation for what it is. I know he gets that from you. He is tall for his age, which I know is also from you. He loves to read, and he loves school, which I think he gets from me. . ."