Song: Tears Don't Fall
Artist: Bullet for my Valentine
Characters by Fuyumi Ono
The moments died, I hear no screaming
Naru sat at his desk, staring at nothing. The smell still lingered in his senses. He had been wrong, he realized. What had he been thinking? She had wanted to remember her family, for God's sake. That was it. And she had … remembered his too. He squeezed his eyes shut. They say that hindsight is 20-20, and now he realized how cold, how … cruel he must have sounded.
The visions left inside me are slowly fading
Closing his eyes had been a bad idea. Her face was there--angry at him, so what else was new? But this was different. She wasn't just frustrated. She was hurt, she was betrayed, she was used up … it was his fault. Naru opened his eyes.
There's always something different going wrong
He ran a hand through his hair. He had never realized what he was doing to her. He had never disliked arguing with her, really. It was refreshing, to have someone speak their mind. He had never known how deeply Mai took it.
The path I walk is in the wrong direction
He had always made the wrong choice when it came to her. He saw that now. Always, the wrong words, the wrong gestures … and now he was paying the price. Naru rested his head on his hands, his eyes squeezed shut. He couldn't take it any more. He stood and walked out of the office without a word.
There's always someone f--ing hanging on
He walked around the streets, his mind flickering from one thought to the next. Mai … he wanted her here. Was it really that impossible to hope? Was there even a chance that Mai didn't let go that easily? Ayako had said she had already dealt with a lot… Too much?
Can anybody help me makes things better?
He thought briefly about getting help, but--if Ayako was any example--they all hated them now. He hated himself. Mai didn't deserve to have someone hurt her. Why had he never been able to see that?
Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Eventually he went home with weight on his shoulders. Every word he had spoken to her, every wound he had caused came back to him now. He didn't leave his home. He ignored the concerned, questioning glances Lin sent him; he didn't feel like explaining.
Her conscious calls, too guilty to come home
He couldn't explain. Even Lin would hate him, if he found out what Naru had said. Mai had that effect on people.
This battered room I've seen before
He passed her once in the street, nearly three days later, and his heart nearly stopped. The moment he recognized her face he turned and starting shoving his way through the crowd, trying to reach her.
The broken bones they heal no more, no more
She didn't hear him calling her name. Or, at least, she pretended not to. Any pain on her face was hidden behind a hard mask that was so unlike the Mai he knew. Was this the face she saw on him?
With my last breath I'm choking
He tried. God knows, he tried, but he didn't know what to do. Air seemed to thicken, and words stuck in his throat. He was constantly thinking of two words, but even they refused to come out. I'm sorry.
Will this ever end I'm hoping
He needed to see her. He had to explain--no, not to explain. He had no explanation to give. All he had was an apology. All he had was the faint, lingering hope that she might hear it.
My world is over one more time
People always asked what was the worst thing that could happen. Mai could hate him. Mai could think he was an unfeeling monster. Mai could go on, hurt from his words. But he needed to try.
Would she hear me, if I called her name?
He tried to talk to her, in vain. She never went anyplace he might be. He even waited outside her school once, feeling very much like a stalker. When she appeared, she surrounded herself with friends and moved too quickly through the thick crowd for him to catch her. How could he make her listen?
Would she hold me, if she knew my shame?
Feeling sick to his stomach, Naru knocked on her door. He needed to talk to her. He hated himself because she hated him, and he needed to apologize. After that … it was her call. There was a moment of silence, and the door cracked open.
Cliffhanger! Oooooh... Bad news to you, my loyal readers. My class is going to the capital for a couple of days (ugghhh), so I won't be able to post until Saturday at least, maybe Sunday. I swear, the fact that I posted a cliffhanger right before going away is entirely a coincidence. (shifty eyes)