AN: Yes, I know how late this chapter is. Life just threw a couple of curve balls. I missed a lot of sleep to finish this so please don't nag me about how late it is. Just enjoy the update!
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Neji took the pressed sunflower out of the journal. Holding it up, he tilted his head. "Someone used to have a bouquet of these delivered to the compound weekly for my father. I can't remember the exact day, but I can remember how he smiled whenever he received them. I never would have imagined that it was your doing."
"Did you know that I still have them delivered every Friday?" Fugaku asked.
No, Neji did not know that. "Why? It's not like he can smell them anymore." That came out harsher than he intended. A little animosity still lingered towards the clan head for telling Itachi to cut all ties with him. He'd figured the man was homophobic. That definitely wasn't the case.
Fugaku's brows furrowed at the boy's tone. "Because Hizashi loved it. Death wasn't going to stop me from making him smile." Although, he had an inkling that Hiashi made sure those flowers never reached Hizashi's grave. It didn't matter. Soon he would take Hizashi away from that dreadful compound and spread his ashes at Sagami Bay like the man had requested.
"How romantic," Neji deadpanned. He held up the leather journal to put an end to the small talk. "I came to you because my father wrote a great deal about you in this journal. I figured that you and the Nara clan head were the only friends of his that I could trust with this information."
Fugaku's eyes widened fractionally in recognition. He had assumed that Hiashi had the journal in his possession. Schooling his features, he nodded his head. "You were right in that assumption. Hizashi didn't have many friends."
The look didn't go unnoticed. Apparently, Fugaku knew that Hizashi had kept a journal. Did he actually know what the journal contained? Neji hoped not. Because that would mean that Fugaku had known that his father had been constantly abused and he did nothing about it. That wasn't love. Not by his definition. And, while he had never really experienced it, Neji just knew that there was no way in hell anyone was going to get away with hurting the person he loved.
"Have you ever read this?" He needed to be sure of that before he told Fugaku anything.
"No. Hizashi never allowed me to read a single page." Fugaku wondered if Neji would let him see it. It had nothing to do with what Hizashi really thought about him. His goal wasn't to seek validation for his importance in the man's life. No. No, he needed to know the nature of Hizashi and Madara's relationship. They both had denied that there was anything going on between them, but Fugaku had his reasons not to believe them. Now was his chance to know the truth about their relationship.
Of course, that would have to come later.
"Did you know that my father was raped when he was twelve years old by his own twin brother? And that it continued long after I was born?"
Fugaku didn't know what hit him the hardest, the nature of the questions or the way they were asked so candidly. It was like a freight train had smacked right into him head on. Denial came immediately. Something like that couldn't have happened to the man he loved. Hizashi would have told him. He wouldn't have kept something like that from him. Fugaku's head started to shake from side to side without him even realizing it. A lump, about the size of a jawbreaker, formed in his throat, making it difficult for him to breathe.
"All of the details are in this journal," Neji continued despite the obvious disarray the clan head was in. "I was hoping you could help..." His words trailed off.
Swallowing thickly, Fugaku reached for the top button of his dress shirt to pop it open. The extra room made it easier for him to get the necessary air into his lungs. Tears were already starting to well up. Fugaku blinked rapidly to keep them at bay. His mouth opened, but nothing came out. What could he possibly say? There were so many emotions swarming inside of him at that moment. It was hard for him to pinpoint a single one and latch on to it.
He shuffled memories like a deck of cards in his mind, turning over static pictures of his life: himself laughing, despairing, fighting, and even fucking. Things he'd overlooked in the past now stood out like a neon sign, taunting him. This was a totally different level of failure. There were no excuses. He couldn't blame it on the fact that he was distracted by his grief, or because he was trying to rebuild his family after his older son had tried to kill himself.
None of those factors had existed in the past. It had just been him and Hizashi. And, somehow, he still had managed to fuck that up.
Then, Fugaku did something that shocked himself as well as Neji. He threw his head back and laughed. "I guess I'm always too late when it comes to the people I love. I didn't even realize that my son was depressed until I saw him in the bathtub with both arms sliced open. Now, three decades later, I find out that Hizashi was," the laughter stopped, and it was soon replaced with a choked sob. Lowering his head, he covered his face with both hands as he let it all out.
Neji felt like an interloper; he felt like he wasn't supposed to be there right now. A meltdown like that was supposed to happen in private or in the presence of loved ones. They were practically strangers in his opinion. Honestly, Neji hadn't expected this kind of reaction. Uchiha Fugaku didn't strike him as a sensitive man. He thought the man would have been furious and eager to avenge his father.
Instead, the older man was breaking apart, piece by piece. If Neji ever had any doubts about Fugaku's feelings for his father, the display obliterated every single one. Fugaku had truly cared for Hizashi; he still did. Because of that fact alone, Neji would sit there until it was over it.
No matter how awkward it was.
-o0o0o-
Listening to a grown man cry for a little over an hour left Neij mentally exhausted. Actually, he'd been near his limit after reading the majority of his father's journal earlier that day. The last entry had been around the time when Neji had been two years old. He didn't get a chance to read that far because he had wanted to catch Fugaku before he left his office.
Fugaku was seated behind his desk having another drink now. He had tried to drink directly from the bottle, but Neji had stopped him and grabbed him a glass. The clan head couldn't hear him out if he was drunk. Neji had given the man enough time to lament. Now it was time to talk business.
"Can I read it?" Fugaku asked.
Unconsciously, Neji's hold on the leather book tightened. Holding the journal in his hand felt oddly empowering. There weren't tedious things like what Hizashi had to eat that day, in the journal. Hizashi had poured his heart out onto the pages. He had bared his soul for whoever would take the time to just read what he'd been too terrified to say aloud. It was as if his father was speaking to him through those pages.
Neji felt entitled; the journal was for him to read, not anyone else. "I haven't finished reading it. When I'm done, I'll let you know." He still did not agree to let Fugaku read it. Yeah, he knew that, eventually, he would have to give it up so that it could help them take down Hiashi. But, he wasn't ready to let go of such a major part of his father.
Fugaku nodded his head in understanding. Staring at Neji, he couldn't help but to see Hizashi sitting there instead. His hands ached with the urge to caress his face or run his fingers through his hair. He couldn't allow his current emotional vulnerability to cloud his judgement. There were just so many similarities between father and son. Even their personalities...
Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, the younger male felt like he was being dissected under Fugaku's gaze. "It's getting late, and I have graduation practice in the morning..." They could finish their conversation when Fugaku was in a better mind frame. Neji could practically read the man's mind; his thoughts were far from innocent.
"Neji," Fugaku's gaze was searching, voice quiet. "Did Hiashi ever..."
He'd thought the man had been thinking about making a pass at him in some sad attempt at having his dead lover back. Thankfully, that wasn't the case. This wasn't about Neji. He wasn't there to get justice for himself. By exposing what Hiashi had done to his father, Neji would consequently obtain his own freedom and vengeance. Using the letter Itachi wrote for him, he'd already met with Iruka, filled out his college applications, and sent them off.
Neji wanted to start fresh. Having his shameful past following him everywhere wasn't how he planned on doing that. From here on out, he would be the proud son of Hyuuga Hizashi whom had been a victim of abuse for over thirty years. He could live with that, but he just didn't think he could live with the whole world knowing that he was also a victim.
"No," Neji's voice was firm with resolve. Years of living a lie made it so easy for him to look the clan head directly in the eye and sound so convincing. "Hiashi hates me to the point where he avoids me most of the time. He blames me for taking my father away from him. The most he's ever done to me is hit me." He lowered his gaze to feign consternation. The more realistic, the better. "Still, none of that was compared to what he did to my father."
It was hard to tell if the teen was lying or not. God, he really did not want to make the same mistake again. Fugaku wouldn't be able to live with himself if he found out that, after his failed attempt at honoring Hizashi's dying wish by taking Neji into his custody, he had left the boy to be abused by his wretched uncle. "Hizashi wanted Mikoto and I to raise you as our own. I just...Mikoto tried to tell me that something wasn't right. Are you sure that he never touched you inappropriately?"
Did that mean that he would have been raised alongside Itachi? For some reason, Neji did not like the idea of that so much. "I'm sure." He saw the relief on the man's face. If he had told him the truth, that guilt would have probably been enough to send him to an early grave. Neji saw it as an act of kindness on his behalf.
"I still worry about your safety. I'll have to talk to Shikaku to see if we can somehow get you out of that compound as soon as possible. Hiashi won't be back until Monday, right?" They had three days to think of a solution.
"How do you know that?"
"I have someone keeping tabs on the bastard."
That tickled Neji for some reason. He snorted. "Not that I give a shit about Hiashi's privacy, but why do you have someone stalking him?"
Oh, that was right. Fugaku had bad news of his own to deliver. "Shikaku and I were already building a case against Hiashi to prove that he killed Hizashi."
"Excuse me?" Maybe he hadn't heard that correctly. A faint smile tugged at the corners of his mouth in disbelief. "You think that Hiashi...killed my father?" He shook his head vehemently, smile still in place to show that what the man had said was impossible. "I saw my father, hanging, with a sheet around his neck." Actually, he'd only seen the man's bare feet swaying back and forth. Natsu had been standing in the way, so that had been the only thing that he could see. When he'd tried to run in the room, the woman had refused to let him. She hadn't wanted him to see his father like that.
"Hizashi had been planning to take you and leave. He wanted to leave the city so you both could have a better life. It makes no sense for him to have killed himself when he was so close to achieving that goal."
Next, Neji was going to find out that Hiashi was actually his biological father or something else equally upsetting would be revealed. Seriously, when did it stop? Was there no end to this trail of misery?
They didn't leave the office until a little after ten that night. Fugaku offered to give Neji a ride to Lee's complex, but the teen had made preparations for someone to pick him up. None of it felt right. Rather, none of it felt real. As if realizing that Hizashi couldn't have committed suicide wasn't enough. He had to learn, after all of this time, that Hizashi had been raped by his own brother, repeatedly, since he was twelve years old.
How was he supposed to go home to his family and pretend as if he weren't slowly dying on the inside? Mikoto would notice that something was wrong the moment he stepped through the door. But he couldn't tell her this. Not yet anyway. Thinking about how he was going to break the news to Shikaku was hard enough. And, then, there was Neji.
The boy's reaction to learning about the true cause of Hizashi's death worried him. Neji had taken the news better than he would have guessed. Something dark and obscure had flashed across the teen's features, but it had passed too quickly for Fugaku to determine if it had actually been there at all. After that, Neji had just asked how soon it would take for them to take Hiashi down.
There wasn't a definite answer to give. It could take weeks, or even months to build a solid case. Of course, he hadn't told Neji that. He had just told him not to worry, Hiashi wasn't going to go unpunished.
Fugaku stood on the sidewalk in front of his building and watched Neji get in the passenger side of a sedan. Two days from now, Neji would be graduating from high school. He'd learned from Shikaku that Neji was the valedictorian. That only made everything all the more depressing. Hizashi would have been so proud of Neji. Hizashi deserved to be there to watch his son walk across the stage. Neji deserved to know that someone was proud of his accomplishments.
Hiashi didn't even have the decency to be in town for his nephew's graduation. How lonely had Neji's childhood been? Had anyone ever shown that child any love after his father's death? Again, it all fell on him, and he felt sick to his stomach.
He had a business brunch to attend on Sunday, but he wasn't going. Instead, he would attend Neji's graduation so the boy would have someone in the audience who was proud of him. When he made it home, he'd mention it to Mikoto. He knew the woman would love to accompany him.
Looking at his reflection in the mirror, Itachi could tell that the protein bars and vigorous training was starting to paying off. His rib cage was no longer visible, but he was still a long way from his personal goal. But his current appearance made him feel slightly better about himself.
Tomorrow was the big day. The way he'd been stressing over it was as if he would be the one walking across that stage. Itachi just did not know if he was ready to put himself out there. All of the things that could go wrong seemed endless. It would be his first actual public appearance in almost a year.
Everyone still wanted to know why Uchiha Itachi had tried to kill himself. Journalists were vicious. Itachi rarely threw the word "hate" around, but he really hated the press. A high school graduation wasn't high profile enough for him to worry about that. At least he hoped. People were so desperate for entertainment in that city. Everything was a scandal.
Itachi admired Tobirama for how the man had handled the press in the past. While Madara had made his own decision to become a recluse, Tobirama didn't. He could remember watching the news and seeing Tobirama being swarmed by the paparazzi when he was leaving his home one morning. The man had told them all to piss off. One reporter didn't heed the warning and had tried his luck.
Unlike the Nidaime, Itachi wasn't going to punch everyone that asked him about his personal life. They were only trying to make a living. A living that often focused on destroying other people's lives. But, he couldn't hold it against them.
Behind him, Shisui leaned against the door frame. "I want a rematch with Tokuma," he announced.
"Why? Didn't you win?" Itachi didn't get to catch the end of the match. After he had paid his respects to Hizashi, he had been intercepted by Hinata's younger sister. Hanabi wasn't shy like Hinata. The younger girl had interrogated him.
Children made him more anxious than adults did. The ceaseless inquiries, their unpredictability and energetic nature were dangerous to his mental health. Sasuke had been the only exception. Though, there had been times when his younger brother had truly annoyed the hell out of him.
Itachi had tried to explain why he was there without revealing too much, but Hanabi had kept pushing it. Thankfully, before he'd lost his patience and incapacitated her, a woman named Natsu had come to his rescue. For which he was beyond grateful. He hadn't wanted to have to target the nerves in the child's neck and put her to sleep. He doubted Hyuuga Hiashi would have appreciated that.
Shisui moved away from the door and stood next to Itachi in front of the wall mirror. "It wasn't a clean victory. He was distracted." When the fight had started, Tokuma had matched him, blow for blow. Then someone in the small audience had caught his attention. After that, the man had seemed afraid. He explained the situation to Itachi.
"Afraid of what?" Itachi asked.
"I don't know. He just didn't seem like himself."
"Since when do you know him well enough to make that assumption?"
"True," Shisui admitted. "Something just felt off about that entire place."
That, Itachi could agree on. Hopefully, he could just go to the source with his concern. He would just have to ask Neji. As much as he hated the idea of prying into someone's privacy, this situation was different. He had talked to his father yesterday. The man had just reminded him of their deal. Fugaku would do all of the investigating so that Itachi could enjoy his time with Neji. First, he needed to get Neji back.
"You should wear your hair like that tomorrow," Shisui suggested with a playful glint in his eyes. "No lie. You're a solid ten with your hair like that."
Self-consciously, Itachi tucked stray strands behind his ear. "I'm a six on a good day. If that." Recently, his best friend had to explain the trend of grading a person's physical appearance on a scale from 1 to 10. "If you factor in my personality I am a four."
"Bullshit!"
"And Neji isn't even on the scale. He surpasses it. Why would he bother with a four?"
"Did Neji ever make you feel undesired when you two were together?"
"Technically we didn't date..."
"Just answer the question."
Had Neji ever made him feel undesirable? No. The only time Itachi had really felt as if he weren't good enough had been when he saw Neji riding the biker in the park. He still worried that he wouldn't be able to please Neji intimately.
Shisui figured he had proven his point. "Neji obviously doesn't think you're a four. Tomorrow, you're going to surprise him at his graduation. Neji is going to be so happy to see you. You two are going to kiss, things are going to get steamy, and you'll probably end up losing your virginity in the janitor's closet." He was only trying to lift Itachi's mood.
And it worked. Itachi smiled. "You had me until you got to the part about sex in the janitor's closet. There's nothing sexy about cleaning supplies and mildew." He took one last look at his reflection and then walked out of the bathroom.
Sitting on his bed, he watched Shisui step out of the bathroom as well. "Shisui, can you do something for me?"
The answer was instant without much contemplation about the possible favor. "Sure." Walking over to the bed, he took a seat next to his best friend.
"Do you think you could show me a couple of...techniques?"
Shisui frowned. "Techniques?"
"Sex techniques." He missed the way Shisui gaped at him, so he continued without a hitch. "I know that sex only gets better with practice, but I would prefer not to go into the situation without knowing anything. I'll be more open to it if I'm prepared. I'm more of a tactile learner so pornography wouldn't be helpful. I figured you could just give me a demonstration." They were close enough for him to ask something like that, right? "I understand if you don't want to..."
"No. I don't mind showing you some pointers."
"Thanks." Itachi smiled. In his eyes, this was a learning opportunity.
However, Shisui saw it as a different kind of opportunity. Honestly, he felt conflicted. Often, he wondered if his feelings for Itachi were wholly platonic. The last thing he wanted to do was take advantage of the situation in order to satisfy his own curiosity.
"How do you want me?" Itachi asked.
The fact that Itachi was so oblivious only made it harder for Shisui. How did Itachi not know how fucking gorgeous he was? Black strands cascaded down his back like molten onyx. Around his face, his hair was cut slightly shorter to accentuate his prepossessing features. Shisui wanted Itachi to know that anyone would be fortunate to have him.
But, Shisui's role in this story was of the best friend, not the love interest. Besides, if he were being honest with himself, it was more than likely just lust. He hadn't been laid in a while, he was beyond stressed and nervous as hell about his upcoming wedding. What he was feeling for Itachi at the moment wasn't genuine. He loved Itachi like a brother. Nothing more. Their relationship meant too much to him to ruin it with temporary emotions.
Standing up, Shisui emptied those thoughts from his mind. "Okay, so the first thing that you want to keep in mind, is that no one is the perfect lover their first time. Or even the second time. Don't try to compare yourself to anyone else that may have been there before you. Also, for your first time, don't go in there thinking you have to do all kinds of fancy, pornstar moves. You probably won't even last long enough to do anything other than missionary..."
Itachi sat there soaking in every word.
Graduation had finally arrived.
The ceremony was held outdoors on the lacrosse field instead of in the stuffy gym like the previous years. Konohagakure was beautiful during the Spring. Clear blue skies, verdant trees—it really lived up to it's name. The graduating class wasn't large, at least not compared to the city's public school. Actually, it didn't even compare to the public school's graduating class.
Thirty-five seniors sat in fold-out chairs on the pristine lawn, while the valedictorian and salutatorian sat on the stage. Most of the parents had their children enrolled at that particular institution because the name alone was enough to open doors for their children. They didn't mind paying the steep tuition if it meant their kid would have a bright future.
Hiashi had only enrolled Neji there to keep up appearances. He never intended for his nephew to go any further than high school. By any statistical measure Neji knew he shouldn't have made it that far. People like him were destined for failure. No matter how hard he worked, he would always be a branch house Hyuuga. His father had been intelligent, strong, and he had excelled in every single thing he put his mind to.
But where had that landed him? For every opportunity that had presented itself for Hizashi, there had always been someone within the clan holding him back, trapping him there forever. Hizashi could have had a purpose far greater than being Hiashi's personal chew toy. Then, when Hizashi had finally tried to leave, Hiashi had killed him. Why would it be any different for Neji?
If it had not been for Tokuma, Neji would have never shown up to his own graduation. Tokuma had picked him up from Fugaku's office the other night. One text message, containing three words, was all it took for the man to drop everything and come to his aid. He had told Tokuma about the journal, the contents, and the truth about his father's death. Hiashi had taken everything from him.
'Not everything,' Tokuma had reminded him. 'You still have your whole life ahead of you. You want to avenge your father? Fine. I'll help you, but you're not going to throw your life away in the process.'
It wasn't just Neji, Hizashi, or Tokuma. The branch house as a whole had suffered for ages. They were all just broken. It seemed pointless to fight back when failure was inevitable. That flame of rage that they'd once harbored had run out of oxygen, became a smolder and then nothing but black smoke. Branch members like Hizashi and Neji were a rare breed. Every time they were knocked down, they just kept getting back up.
Many branch members had thought that there would never be anyone as angry as Hizashi in their ranks. Any chance that they could have had at rallying behind a worthy leader had been shattered with the man's death. But, Hizashi hadn't completely abandoned them. What he did was leave behind someone more capable. Any hatred that Hizashi had harbored in his lifetime had been transferred to Neji.
The branch house was depending on him. Even if he graduated, left the city for good, and started a new life, it would be enough for them to know that freedom wasn't impossible. All they needed was for one of their own to make it out. Neji only needed to set an example.
But, Neji planned on doing more than that. Why stop with Hiashi when he could tear the whole place down?
The speech he had thrown together was a lie. There was no significant meaning in any of the words. Not for Neji. He just wrote what everyone expected him to say. From his seat on the elevated stage, all of the smiling faces of his classmates filled him with deep longing. It made him wonder how life would have been if his father were still alive.
Pulling his eyes from the sight, he searched the audience for Tokuma and Natsu. The woman had been a good friend of his father's. There weren't many people that Neji liked. At times, he wondered if he simply had a dislike for people in general, but he liked Natsu. She had always shown him kindness. He was happy that she was there today. Childishly, he pretended like Tokuma and Natsu were his parents there to support him.
The fantasy didn't last long. Fantasizing would never make it a reality. Neji tried to tune in to the Headmaster's speech, yet the man's dull monotone only made him feel more depressed. It was a pivotal moment in their lives, yet the man's tone was like he was giving an eulogy rather than a commencement speech. Perhaps the man did see their high school graduation as a mournful occasion.
The best years of their lives were over. They were going to be released out into the real world. Neji already had a head start, though. At seventeen, he felt like he'd seen it all. He felt like there was absolutely nothing that could surprise him after the life he'd had.
However, Fugaku and Mikoto managed to do just that. The Uchiha clan head and his wife were in the audience. He immediately told himself that they weren't there for him. Yet, the smile Mikoto gave him made it clear that they were indeed there for him. Awkwardly, the smile was returned before he quickly turned in embarrassment. Neji couldn't let the couple see how grateful he was for them being there.
They couldn't just walk into his life now and try to be the loving guardians his father had needed them to be. It was too late for that. Even still, Neji couldn't hold it against them. Not today. Not on one of the most important days in his young life. Having someone in the audience that was there for him meant more than he would ever admit.
By the time his name was finally called for him to walk up to the podium and deliver his speech, Neji's earlier gloomy disposition had faded away. He would make it through this today because he wasn't as lonely as he'd thought he was.
Due to a series of setbacks, Itachi and Shisui arrived at the ceremony late. The former had been convinced that they were going to miss the whole thing. He'd already had his doubts about the outcome of today. That morning had only made it worse. When they finally made it to the lacrosse field, Itachi was relieved to know that they had actually arrived right on time.
There were seats available, but Itachi preferred to stand. He really didn't want to have to tiptoe around people just to get to a vacant seat. It was one of the reasons why he liked to be punctual. When he was in college, if for some reason he was running late for a class, he would just skip because he knew when he walked in the door the other students would turn around and stare at him.
Another reason why Itachi wanted to remain standing was because he was actually rooted to that spot. Neji was on stage giving his speech. Before he saw Neji, he heard him. He never realized how much he'd missed the sound of the younger male's voice until now. The Hyuuga prodigy's words were always spoken so eloquently, and if anyone knew him well enough, they could always detect a hint of sarcasm in Neji's tone.
The speech was so cliché. Either someone else wrote it or Neji had plagiarized it. Itachi doubted anyone in the audience was actually listening to what Neji was saying anyway. They were too captivated by his confidence and the fluency of his words. He figured Neji had known that so he didn't bother putting any effort into it. He still believed that Neji was like him.
Obviously not in all aspects. Personality wise, they were day and night. Neji thrived off of attention; he knew that he was good and wanted everyone to know. The teen wasn't going to allow anyone to overlook him, or treat him as if he were a waste of space. Neji demanded to be acknowledge, either verbally or by mere presence alone. He was just one of those people.
Itachi, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. He didn't even feel the need to reiterate how much he hated being the center of attention. The point was, when he first saw Neji at the Baguazhang tournament, he felt an instant connection. Finally, there was someone that knew what it was like to scream at the top of their lungs and be met with silence.
People heard them but no one really listened. Although, he would admit that, Neji had been way more vocal than he ever had. Itachi had dropped several hints before he attempted suicide. Yet, none of those hints had been as forward as the things Neji had said at that tournament.
Wait...How had he managed to overlook that? Neji had already told them all about the Hyuuga's separate houses.
"They're servants."
Shisui glanced at him in confusion. "What?" He strained his ears to so he could hear better.
Leaning closer, Itachi whispered. "The Branch members. Their purpose is to serve the Head family," he paused. "Or, rather, the Main house." At least that was what he'd gathered.
"What made you come to that realization?" Had something been mentioned during Neji's speech? Shisui had been playing a game on his phone so he wouldn't know.
"I'll explain later."
Applause erupted at the conclusion of Neji's speech. Mostly from the graduating class. Itachi filed the newfound information away for later. Now, he needed to think about what he was going to say to Neji when he saw him. The ceremony was drawing to a close.
-o0o0o-
Itachi always approached social events from a tactical standpoint. Today was no different. Unlike the charity banquets in the past, there wasn't a room for him to hide from people in, and the lights weren't dim enough for him to move around unnoticed. The lacrosse field left him too exposed. Unfortunately, he would have to face the masses on his own. Shisui had to step away to take a business call. While, he could have easily waited for the man to return, this was something that he felt like he needed to do on his own.
Neji was on the other side of the field, talking to the guidance counselor, Umino Iruka. Knowing Neji, the conversation wouldn't last long. He needed to act now before he lost him in the crowd.
He would have to maneuver around the various huddles of families and friends that were surrounding the graduate they'd come to support. Taking a deep breath, Itachi started to walk. He had tunnel vision. Looking around would only overwhelm him. If he kept his eyes on Neji, he wouldn't lose sight of his goal. An entire week had past since he had last seen Neji. It didn't seem like a long time, but Itachi was running on limited time. Even if things didn't work out with Neji, he didn't want to spend the rest of his life with regret.
Iruka was actually able to keep Neji engaged in a conversation for longer than sixty seconds. Astounding. The guidance counselor must have been a favorite of the teen. Regardless of the reason, he was grateful because he was so close to reaching them. Everyone seemed too distracted with more important things to even glance in his direction. His heartbeat quickened.
Fear wasn't the cause. It was due to excitement. That excitement filled him with false confidence. At that moment, Itachi could have cared less if it were real or not. He was going to use that confidence to walk up to Neji and make his presence known.
"What are you doing here?"
The downside of false confidence was that it could disappear as quickly as it came. Halting in his steps, every positive emotion was replaced with dread. Reluctantly, he tore his eyes from Neji and turned around to face his younger brother.
Instinct pushed him to wrap his arms around the younger boy and hold him tight. But, the look Sasuke gave him overruled that. Dropping his arms to his side, he awkwardly stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I wasn't expecting you to be here."
Sasuke blinked. "What are you doing here?" he asked again, voice harsher than before.
The question was posed as if Itachi wasn't supposed to be there. Like he was an outsider. "I came to see a friend," he informed calmly.
"Since when do you have friends?" he snorted. "Are you sure they're just not the voices in your head?"
Itachi tried not to panic. His reunion with Sasuke was supposed to be in a controlled setting. Dr. Shiho had told him that his family would come in for a group session. She had assured him that he would be prepared whenever he finally saw his brother. That was supposed to have been weeks from now. He wasn't mentally prepared for this conversation. Especially not here of all places.
"You have every right to be upset with me, Sasuke. Let's just have this discussion in private."
Sasuke seemed unmoved. "No. I came here with my friends. Actual friends, not the imaginary ones you have. You need to leave. I can't have my psychotic brother here embarrassing me."
"I'm not psychotic."
"Normal people don't freak out every time they step outside. I can't believe mother actually wants you to come back home. What's stopping you from wanting to kill us all in our sleep the next time you have one of your episodes?"
Itachi wasn't psychotic. He wasn't a risk to anyone. Did Sasuke really think that about him? Glancing around, Itachi noticed people were staring at them. His heart twisted and sunk with nerves. They were all looking at him. Were they all thinking the same thing? Is that what people thought about him? That he was capable of actually killing his family?
Invisible hands gripped his neck, constricting around the pale flesh, strangling him. He couldn't breathe. Coming here had been a mistake. Now, he was trapped with no way out.
Then, everything happened so fast.
In the time it took him to blink, Neji was there, yanking Sasuke up by the collar of his shirt. Itachi's heart was hammering loudly in his chest, blotting out all sound, so he couldn't hear anything that Neji may have said to his brother. Before he could even think about intervening, Shisui was there along with his father. They pulled the two apart, saving Sasuke from the punch that was surely coming.
Infuriated, Sasuke made an attempt to lunge at Neji and, from the look on Neji's face, he was waiting for him to close that distance. Thankfully, Shisui kept a firm hold on Sasuke. There were so many people watching now, some even had their phones out. All of it was one big disaster. His father was yelling, Sasuke was struggling in Shisui's arms like a rabid dog, and Shisui looked seconds from losing his patience. That wouldn't end well for Sasuke.
Every muscle felt tight, sprung for action, and Itachi couldn't find it in him to budge from that spot. He felt eyes on him. The people watching were more than likely waiting to see if he was going to just stand there like a statue or intervene. Was disappearing an option? Itachi wished he could teleport to someplace quiet, free of the judgmental stares.
Neji must have read his mind. Similar to that afternoon, on the crowded downtown sidewalk, Neji took Itachi by the hand and lead him away from the pandemonium.
. . .
He was breathing all wrong, beginning to gasp like there wasn't enough oxygen in the air. His ribs were heaving as if they were bound by ropes, straining to inflate his lungs. Feeling warm hands cup his face, his eyes snapped open and focused on Neji. Up close, his pearlescent eyes were hypnotizing. It fascinated Itachi that an entire clan could posses the same ocular malformity. Ocular albinism was supposed to be extremely rare, but that obviously wasn't the case in the Hyuuga clan.
It was a testament to how deeply rooted the inbreeding practices were. His eyes dropped infinitesimally to stare at the teen's mouth. Neji was talking to him, but he couldn't hear him. Clutching his eyes shut, Itachi made an attempt to make everything slow to something that his brain and body could cope with. He felt himself slipping, gradually slipping into that dark place.
Gently, soft lips brushed against his own. Yet, it wasn't for a kiss. Every exhale that Neji made was inhaled by Itachi. The teenager's intentions were clear. He was trying to get Itachi to match his breathing. Just thinking about their proximity was enough to cease his frantic thoughts and focus only on Neji. Gradually, his other senses returned to him.
The familiar scent of Neji's shampoo was comforting. There was still a pillow on his bed that held Neji's scent. Itachi refused to openly admit that he now slept on that pillow just so he could feel closer to Neji. There was no way he was revealing that embarrassing secret.
Opening his eyes to the softening sun, he gazed at the clouds, brilliant white against the blue. Obviously they were outside, but he had no idea where they were. Itachi glanced down to see that his arms were wrapped around Neji's waist. When had he done that? Irrelevant. Neji was in his arms, looking up at him with so much concern on his face. Without thinking over his actions, Itachi leaned forward and kissed Neji.
He kissed Neji, and the world fell away. It was slow, and soft, comforting in ways words would never be. Itachi's hand rested below Neji's ear, his thumb caressing his cheek as their breaths mingled. His other hand pulled Neji closer, until there was no space between them and he could feel the beating of Neji's heart against his chest.
Neji emitted the faintest sound, and something inside of Itachi snapped. The hand on the younger male's back lowered to grip a handful of the teen's firm rear. That startled Neji, and he quickly pulled away. Immediately, Itachi started to feel guilty. Did he cross a line? Maybe he'd grabbed Neji too roughly.
Neither was the case. "We have an audience," Neji quietly informed him. A faint blush dusted his cheeks.
Reluctantly, Itachi turned his head. Shisui and Tokuma were standing there. The former was smiling like a proud parent, and the latter had his arms crossed over his chest. In this scenario, Tokuma was the stern, disapproving father. Itachi thought that Tokuma was jealous. He expected the man to confront him or cause a scene. But, he had a tendency to jump to conclusions.
"See, I told you that Neji was fine," Shisui said to Tokuma. "We don't gang up on people in our clan." He was only teasing.
Tokuma wasn't amused. "I was informed of an altercation between Neji and four Uchiha." The entire field was buzzing with the news, which meant that it would eventually reach Hiashi's ears. Rumors spread like wildfire in Konoha. "As I can see, Neji is fine. Forgive me for interrupting." The apology was directed to Itachi.
Itachi was just grateful that their audience hadn't been the large crowd from earlier. Tokuma and Shisui, he could deal with. "Where is Sasuke?"
"With your parents," Shisui informed him. "We'll discuss it later."
Tokuma saw the look Neji was giving him. It took him a moment to realize what that look implied. Clearing his throat, he dropped his hands to his side. "Shisui, are you hungry?" He didn't give him time to answer. "I am. Let's go eat something." Natsu had to leave early, and he really didn't have plans for the remainder of the afternoon since it was clear that Neji wanted to be with Itachi right now.
Unlike Tokuma, Shisui instantly caught the hint. "Sure, but I don't put out on the first date." He slung his arm over Tokuma's shoulder and started to walk away. "Though, I might make an exception for you."
Neji watched them leave. Oddly enough, that was the exact moment he came to the conclusion that he wasn't in love with Tokuma. He had simply latched on to the first source of consistent kindness following his father's death. No one else had bothered to push through his walls as persistently as Tokuma had. Neji did not doubt that he loved Tokuma, but he wasn't in love with the man.
Feeling like a weight had been lifted, Neji turned to face Itachi. "Looks like our best friends have ditched us for each other," he feigned disappointment.
Itachi smiled. "Fortunately for us, I drove." His car keys were dangled in front of the teen as proof. "I'll take you anywhere you want to go. Consider it a graduation gift."
"I know the perfect place."
Graduation night wasn't supposed to be like this for him. He'd imagined himself high out of his mind on a grimy dance floor with some stranger dry humping him. Afterwards, he'd have sex in the bathroom stall with that same stranger. Yet, it wouldn't be satisfying enough, because quickies never were, not for him anyway, so, he would still end up leaving the club with someone different. When the morning came he would return to his cage.
Of course his reality was far better. The cage was still there, but not for long. Once Fugaku and Shikaku gathered enough evidence, Neji would finally have his freedom. Knowing that made it easier for him to allow himself to enjoy his graduation night.
They spent the remainder of the day at Itachi's penthouse. Neji had thought that it was going to be extremely awkward since they had departed on bad terms. The fact that Itachi had even shown up at his graduation had shocked the hell out of him. He'd been in the middle of talking to Iruka about his future plans when he spotted Itachi across the field.
At first, Neji had been so happy. Itachi was the last person that he expected to show up. Then, all of those emotions were replaced with anger when he had walked closer and caught the end of what Sasuke had said about Itachi killing them all in their sleep. Neji hadn't taken the time to contemplate his actions, he had just pounced.
The class valedictorian had almost beat up an underclassman at the commencement ceremony. Neji couldn't let his dull speech be what his classmates remembered about him. No, he had to go out with a bang. He had to give his classmates something to talk about at the class reunion he wasn't going to attend. Seriously, all jokes aside, Neji had just been so furious.
He hated the idea of anyone mistreating Itachi. The man didn't deserve it.
The perfect place was Itachi's penthouse. Neji knew that he could have picked anywhere, but that was where he wanted to go. Lee and Tenten were at a party at the Nara compound. Shikamaru's mother had gotten a little out of hand with the small dinner her son had requested. Shisui had already called and informed Itachi that he would be staying with a friend. They had the place to themselves.
And, for once, Neji's mind wasn't on sex. Well, sex was always on his mind. But, it wasn't at the forefront of his mind. He wasn't thinking of ways to seduce Itachi, or anything like that. After what had happened last time, he thought it best if he refrained from any of that. Tonight, Neji would keep it PG-13. He could manage that. Maybe.
"What do you want to watch next?" Itachi asked.
Rubbing his eyes, Neji looked at the blue screen on the television. He'd zoned out at the end of the movie. So much had happened during the week and he had a lot on his mind. "It doesn't matter," he replied. He would probably end up dozing off anyway. The suede couch was so comfortable.
Itachi assumed that Neji was bored. Most teens partied on their graduation night. Maybe they could do something else. Like what? Play a board game? Did he really spend all week thinking about getting Neji back just to bore the younger male to death? Itachi could always tell Neji how he felt about him. He'd been stalling all day.
Neji yawned, and Itachi panicked. "Or we could do something else," he suggested.
"Like what."
"Play a game."
"What kind of game?"
Itachi hadn't thought that far. Quickly, he wracked his brain for any of his board games that could be categorized as fun rather than strategic. The search did not last long. There were no fun games in his collection. Itachi thought about what Shisui would do in a situation like this. Well, for starters, Shisui wouldn't be in a situation like this. When his best friend wanted something, he went out and got the job done.
Because Shisui wasn't a coward like him. Then again, they were two different people. Itachi shouldn't compare himself to anyone else. That was what Shisui had told him last night.
"Honestly," Neji broke the silence. "It doesn't matter what we do. I'm just happy that I get to spend this day with you. I worried that you would hate me after what I did..."
Itachi figured it was now or never. Turning his body to fully face Neji, he carefully took the teen's hands into his own. "I could never hate you," he stated, his tone sincere. Eye contact was essential, so he ignored the twisty feeling in his stomach and looked Neji directly in the eyes. "It's quite the opposite, actually. Neji, I lov—" The sentence was cut off by the finger pressed against his lips.
Those three words were always followed by misery. His father said those words to him the night before he died. Every time Hiashi raped him, he said those words. His father had no choice. His life had been taken from him. However, Hiashi had truly ruined Neji's outlook on love. Those words were no longer sacred to him.
"Please,"he begged. His eyes started to water as he thought about how damaged he was. "Don't say it...Everyone that says it only ends up hurting me." He smiled sadly. "Just show me." Words didn't mean anything. Neji relied more on how people treated him. He wanted Itachi to stay consistent. The man had already shown him that he cared; Neji just needed him to never change on him.
However, Itachi was under the impression that Neji wanted him to show him now. He thought that Neji needed him to prove that his feelings were indeed genuine. Obviously, people had hurt him in the past. Itachi wanted to prove that he wasn't like the others before him.
Itachi stood up from the couch, and extended his hand. Looking up at him, Neji searched his face for an answer. When he couldn't find one, he took the offered hand anyway, allowing himself to be pulled up to stand on his feet. Itachi kissed him on the forehead, his lips lingered heartbeats longer than usual. Neji opened his mouth to speak, but Itachi pulled away.
Keeping a hold on Neji's hand, Itachi walked out of the den and down the hall to his bedroom. By that point, it was obvious what Itachi had in mind. Neji was excited, but also kind of nervous. He didn't want to move too fast like the last time. One wrong move and Itachi could change his mind.
They walked into the dark bedroom. Itachi released his hand and closed the door. The blinds were closed so it was hard to make out much of anything. A shiver shot up Neji's spine when he felt Itachi's hot breath on his neck, then a soft brush of lips. All of his hair was gently swept to one side. Each kiss deliberately brought Itachi's mouth closer to his ear, that he lightly nibbled on.
"Itachi," he whispered softly, prolonging each letter as if to savor them.
"I'm prepared to show you, but only if you will allow me."
Was he asking for permission? Neji wanted to reply with a duh. But, he saw it for what it was. Regardless of how eager he had been in the past, or how willing he had been to walk in that room with Itachi, the man still wasn't going to proceed without Neji's verbal consent. It was the first time anyone had ever asked for it. It was the first time that anyone had ever cared to take the time to ask him if he really wanted to go through with it.
Turning around, Neji twined his arms around Itachi's neck. "Please, Itachi," he begged shamelessly.
Itachi's mouth was on Neji's instantly, their tongues met, lightly, gently. Every kiss was harder, more urgent, than the last. Never breaking from the kiss, they moved towards the bed. In their rush, Neji's foot caught on something and they both went tumbling down on the mattress. Laughter erupted in the darkness. Itachi reached blindly for the lamp on his bedside table and turned it on.
The lamp gave the room a soft glow. Under him, Neji was laughing, his entire face lit up. He looked so beautiful in that moment that Itachi's own laughing ceased. Captivated, he smoothed Neji's hair out of his face. Neji eventually stopped laughing, but a playful smile lingered. Minutes seemed to tick by and they continued to stare at each other.
Then, gradually, the air between them started to buzz, like that little space between magnets. Itachi's face lowered and Neji leaned up to meet him. During the kiss, Neji tried not to roll them over and climb on top. He wouldn't take the lead like he usually did. At least not until Itachi needed him to.
Itachi ended the kiss with a soft peck, and then he pushed away from Neji, so that he stood next to the bed. While he undressed, Neji remained on the bed and did the same. Once their clothes were discarded, Itachi rejoined him on the bed, settling between his legs. The absence of clothing only added to the intimacy. Itachi didn't have time to feel self-conscious. He was too busy trying to kiss every inch of Neji's flesh.
The trail started on the teen's lips, lowered to his collarbone, and then halted at his nipples. There, Itachi took his time, taking each taut nub into his mouth, sucking and licking. Neji dug his hands into Itachi's hair, making quick work discarding of the red bind that kept the dark strands restrained. When the man resumed the trail of hot, wet kisses down his body, Neji kept his hands buried in Itachi's hair.
Itachi reached the spot where Neji's belly button was supposed to be but he was met with the swollen head of the Hyuuga's cock. It wasn't the first time he noticed how well-endowed Neji was. Salivating at the sight of the gossamer of pre at the tip, he decided to place a kiss there instead. A kiss wasn't satisfying enough, so he ran his tongue over the slit, tasting the semen.
Oral didn't do much for Neji. Of course it was enjoyable. He just didn't get off from it. Not unless someone fingered him while they sucked him off. Still, he wasn't going to stop Itachi. This was a first for them both. Itachi was exploring his sexuality for the first time. While Neji was finally giving himself to someone that actually cared about him. He was honestly curious to see how different sex would be with a person who loved him.
Already, the differences were unmistakable. They started when Itachi asked him for his consent and they didn't stop there. Itachi treated him as though he were something to be treasured. Neji wondered if Itachi would feel the same if he ever found out the truth about him. The thought was fleeting, in fact, his entire thought process was thrown off by the tongue currently prodding his anus.
Neji sat up on his elbows. "What are you doing?" The question was rhetorical. He was too stunned to think of anything else to say.
Sheepishly, Itachi lifted his head. "I was curious..." Shisui had assured him that if a blowjob didn't drive Neji insane, rimming definitely would. Neji hadn't seemed too enthused by his attempt at fellatio. He only wanted to please him. "I'm sorry."
Neji did enjoy a good rimjob, but he cared too much about Itachi to allow him to do something that he often used to degrade people. If one of the random men he'd slept with wanted to rim him, he wouldn't stop them. He never kissed them anyway and they usually ended up calling him a slut when they were finished. Neji took solace in knowing that they at least ate his ass. An area that Hiashi had defiled. It was psychological. If he explained it to Itachi, the man wouldn't understand.
"It's okay," Neji promised. "I just don't like it. Everything else you've been doing has been perfect, though." It was the truth.
Itachi moved back up his body. "I guess I got carried away," he smiled. "It's hard not to want to kiss you all over." He kissed him on the shoulder, then on his neck to prove it.
Neji returned the smile. Placing his hands on Itachi's shoulders, he sat up. They both moved to their knees, facing each other. They were close, lips hovering. "Did you enjoy your exploration of my body?" He inquired quietly with a hint of amusement in his eyes.
Encircling his arms around the lithe waist, Itachi answered the question with a tender kiss. Neji's body was what inspired artists to paint their canvases, he was convinced. Adonis would envy Neji. Every vain deity in existence felt insecure knowing that this mortal creature surpassed them all. Itachi knew that he was biased in that regard, but he didn't care.
Sliding his hands in between their bodies, Neji fisted Itachi's cock and stroked. "Itachi, I want you." This time, Neji would make it clear that Itachi was the only person that he wanted. "I need you..." Not Hidan, or any other undeserving man.
That was what Itachi had been waiting to hear and he hadn't realized it until that moment. There was a box of condoms in his bedside drawer. Compliments of Shisui. Retrieving the entire box, Itachi fumbled with the box as he tried to open it. It crossed his mind to open them beforehand, just in case, but he thought that would have implied that he'd used one before. Seriously, he needed to stop overthinking everything.
Patiently, Neji waited, He thought Itachi's nervousness was sort of cute. Once a single wrapper was retrieved Neji offered to put it on. He didn't doubt that Itachi knew how to put on a condom. He only wanted to lend a hand. Itachi allowed him.
Itachi laid on his back while Neji straddled him. Taking the older man's right hand, Neji slipped his index and middle finger into his mouth. Keeping his eyes on Itachi, he removed the digits and then guided the man's hands in between his buttocks. Leaning forward, resting on his knees, Neji could feel the fingers slowly pushing inside of him.
"It's tight," Itachi commented. "Are you sure I'll fit?" How did anything fit in there?
Neji tried not to laugh. "I'll be fine. Move your fingers like this," he raised his fingers, moving them in a scissoring motion.
The preparation didn't last longer than a couple of minutes. Afterwards, Neji sat back and slipped the condom on Itachi. Taking the length into his hand, he eased down on it slowly, allowing them both to savor the moment. It was surreal. It was more than just another fuck. Itachi had deemed Neji, of all people, worthy enough to share such an intimate moment with him.
Riding was one of Neji's favorite positions and it showed. Fully impaled, he leaned back, resting the palms of his hands on Itachi's thighs. The goal was to prolong Itachi's release as long as possible. The odds were already stacked against him since this was Itachi's first rodeo. The bright side was that the night was young and they had a box of condoms.
Neji slowly rocked his hips. Moaning softly, he gazed at Itachi through heavy-lidded eyes. The expression on the Uchiha's face was of pure ecstasy. Itachi's eyes were shut, his breathing heavy, mouth open slightly. His long, dark hair was fanned around him like halo. Neji picked up his pace. He rode Itachi faster, harder. Rolling his hips lewdly, he moaned louder, uttering Itachi's name.
Being inside of Neji was indescribable. He had to settle his hands on the teen's hips to gain some kind of control of the situation. The way Neji was rolling his hips should have been illegal. How in the hell was he supposed to last with him moving like that? The younger male's inner muscles were constricting around his cock, the sound of their flesh slapping together was oddly arousing.
Hearing the sweet call of his name, Itachi opened his eyes. A light sheen of sweat glistened on Neji's flushed skin. His hair was tousled, lips were swollen—Itachi wanted to kiss him. Their current position made it difficult. So, he decided to fix that.
Gliding his hands up Neji's hips, Itachi sat up, wrapped Neji's legs around his waist and kissed him. The bold move caught Neji by surprise, but he eagerly encircled Itachi's neck with his arms and returned the kiss. Itachi didn't stop there. He slid his arms under Neji's, rested his hands on the teen's shoulders and started to thrust his hips upward.
Neji only pulled away from the kiss to call out Itachi's name. "Itachi!" The angle was perfect for deeper access and targeting his prostate .
Of course, Itachi hadn't known that. He was only acting on instinct. Neji had a very lovely mouth and Itachi wanted to kiss him. Always. He kissed Neji again and again. Then Neji started to rock his hips to meet Itachi's thrusts, making it impossible for them to kiss. Still, their lips remained inches apart as they moaned each other's names, repeatedly, eyes open, never leaving the other's. Until the pleasure reached it's peak.
Itachi bit his lip, and a shudder passed through him. "Nej— Ngh!" His hips jerked spasmodically as his semen filled the condom.
Moments later, Neji followed suit, except his release was way messier. Neither seemed to mind. They were staring at each other again, chests heaving, breathing labored. Those three words were at the tip of Itachi's tongue again. He had wanted to say it so many times during sex. Instead, he had opted to kiss Neji every time he felt like saying it. So, that was what he would continue to do. Despite how exhausted they both were.
Tiredly, Itachi pressed his lips against Neji's. Neji smiled against his lips, and Itachi just knew that Neji had read his mind.
TBC