Wanted
By: AgentAyu
Chapter 9
A/N: Some minor references towards 'Sisters' (2015 Free Comic Book Day, Avatar comic) and 'The Search' Part 3.
Disclaimer: Disclaimer from the Prologue still applies.
One of the many hospital assistants hummed to herself as she made her rounds to check on the patients in the early morning. She panicked at the sight of the Fire Nation princess on the ground shaking violently. "HELP! There is an emergency in room 121!" The assistant yelled down the hallway before entering the room. "Someone get Doctor Chi and Hino!"
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Azula gasped as she shot up to a sitting position. She patted herself to check to see that she was indeed still alive. The firebender growled angrily at Roku for telling her to trust him and he cremated her, so why was she still alive and sitting in a pile of ash? Faintly she still heard, "When you are ready, rise." She looked at her surroundings and found only darkness, no longer in her room.
"Roku?" Azula called out into the nothing. As she prepared to stand a burning pain shot through her entire body causing her to sit while trying to ride out the pain.
"I'm afraid I can't allow you to wait it out, Azula. You are on a time limit for you to recover." Roku informed as he stood in front of his great-granddaughter. "The burning pain you are feeling is the emotional and spiritual pain you blocked yourself from feeling during the war. It will begin to wear off as you recover. I must advise we begin as your body is starting to feel the stress of the illness."
"Why did you burn me?" Azula spat out before clutching her stomach feeling as if she was about to throw up.
"To give you a clean slate. To build your new foundation. That part of your life is over, you're not the girl that fell during the war, but the woman who rose above the hardships."
"You are a failure…"
Azula lifted her head, eyes widened in shock suddenly hearing her father's voice.
"You're just as much of a monster as your father." Ursa's voice echoed.
She jumped at the sudden crash from glass. Azula stood up and looked around frantically until she came upon the site of herself sobbing in front of the mirror she broke before her coronation.
"You can't treat me like this! You can't treat me like Zuko!" Her desperate plea from when her father took what was left of everything she had worked for. Ozai stood in his phoenix king armor with his back to her.
The princess yelped in pain as she fell to her knees, the burning pain coursing through her again. "Why am I seeing this?"
"You are being shown your fears. You fear being alone and forgotten." Roku explained. "You fear your mother viewing you as a monster."
"Can you blame me?" Azula winced and drew a sharp breath. "Everyone left me eventually: my mother, father, Zuko, Mai… Ty Lee. Zuko hasn't visited in two years. They're all probably better off without me anyways."
"Azula please… You know I can't stay. How can I in that environment where I don't have my own name? Where I'm not wanted." A memory of Ty Lee pleaded.
"All you have to do is ask and you won't be alone, Azula." Roku stated. "There are people who care about you."
Shakenly Azula stood up again to grab Ty Lee's wrist like she did years ago. "No. I didn't then and I can't now. Even if this is a memory, I can't ask her to stay when she is unhappy so I won't be alone." Slowly she let go of Ty Lee's wrist and the memory disappeared. "You said all I have to do is ask?"
Roku nodded. "Yes."
"Then there is only one person I can ask. Even when he was gone he helped me survive those lonely years by being my drive to not be like him. And while I was manipulating him in Ba Sing Se, there was a grain of truth in what I said to him."
"I need you, Zuko." Echoed.
"Please don't abandon me." Azula spoke to an image of her brother. "I do need you, Zuko."
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Ty Lee knocked on the door to Azula's room in the hospital before slowly entering. "Hello?"
"Hello." The acrobat jumped from being startled by a voice that was not Azula's. "How may I help you, dear?"
"Oh, um… I'm just here to visit Princess Azula. Is now not a good time?" She looked at the firebender, sound asleep in bed during broad daylight.
"Well, you won't receive much of a response from her, but I don't see why not. I'm Doctor Chi, the primary doctor on her case." Chi held out her hand for Ty Lee to shake.
"Ty Lee. A pleasure to meet you, Doctor Chi. May I ask what is wrong with her? It's the middle of the day and she's asleep." Ty Lee asked as they shook hands.
"Yes, very unusual for firebenders to be sleeping this time of day, isn't it? However, the princess has been suffering from insomnia and sleep deprivation. We have incense to help calm her senses and lull her to sleep." Chi sat back down. "You may visit her, but I'll be here to keep an eye on her. No worries, whatever is said will not leave this room."
The acrobat nodded and sat in the chair next to Azula's bed. Like the other times she had visited the princess, she gripped the sheets near her hand. "Hey, once again the time I visit you, you're sleeping. I guess that is okay, you would probably be furious if you saw me. You might have heard already, but you're an aunt now! Mai and Zuko had a baby girl. Her name is 'Izumi'. That's why I'm able to visit you. Last time was almost a year ago at Mai and Zuko's wedding. I'll let you in on a secret." Ty Lee leaned close so Chi wouldn't hear. "Mai was about two months pregnant at their wedding! I was able to faintly see Izumi's aura at the wedding. Remember that's a secret you can tease Zuko about later. Everyone else thinks Izumi was born prematurely and was really healthy."
The rest of the visit Ty Lee talked about life on Kyoshi Island and what in general has been going on in the world. "It's been two years already. Azula, I keep praying to whichever spirits will listen for you to have a speedy recovery. There is more I want to tell you. So much more, but I can't because we need you better and in a place where you feel in control of your life again. How I wish sometimes we were kids again and didn't have the world or war to worry about. Back to simpler times." Ty Lee smiled at a memory from their childhood. "Once you're better, I hope I could still be your Dragon Empress. You'll always be my Dragon Emperor. I've loved you since we were kids and despite everything in-between until now, I still love you. Even if we'll never get to be together, I just want you to get better and be happy."
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Azula looked up when she saw Ty Lee walk back into the room with the futon. "Whoa, hey." She grabbed the futon as it was starting to fall out of the other girl's arms. "You couldn't take multiple trips?"
"I could have, but didn't feel like it." The acrobat stuck her tongue out playfully.
The princess shook her head. "Of course you didn't. I see you've met up with your sisters somewhere over the years."
"Yeah, it was quite an eye opener. Not long after the war ended a lot of people kept telling me that because joined the Kyoshi Warriors, I was putting myself in a matched set again."
"Who said you were part of a match set?" Azula asked even though she had a feeling she knew the answer. "you're part of something that's anything but a matched set."
"I know." Ty Lee replied quietly. "It just took seeing my sisters again to remind me I can always remove the makeup and still be me with my Kyoshi sisters."
Azula smiled softly. She was proud that Ty Lee was able to overcome her demons with wanting to be viewed separate from her six sisters. She looked at the photo of the Ty sisters and then back at Ty Lee. "I would love to hear about how you met up with your sisters. I'm happy for you, Ty Lee."
Ty Lee looked at Azula shocked. Her astonishment quickly changed to a huge smile seeing the subtle pink with Azula's light blue aura. This was the Azula she fell for without Ozai's influence over the princess. "I would love to tell you, Azula!"
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"Zuko, please. I know I don't deserve your help, but I need you." Azula begged the image of her brother. "I… I'm sorry for everything I have done to you. I…"
"No lightning today? What's the matter, afraid I'll redirect it?" Zuko's voice echoed.
"I'll show you lightning!"
Azula dropped to her knees from the intense spiritual burn. She looked behind her to see herself from Sozin's Comet about to strike her with lightning. Before the lightning could hit her, the image of Zuko Azula had been talking to had jumped in front to shield her. Only the image didn't have time to try and redirect the lightning like he had done during Sozin's Comet. Zuko collapsed while the image of Azula laughed hysterically.
"Zuko!" Azula exclaimed before yelling from the burns coursing through her.
THe crackling sound of lightning pierced through the air as Azula witnessed the Avatar being struck by her in Ba Sing Se. A crowd of horrific screams and gasps erupted causing Azula to turn her attention away from Aang's fallen body to witness Ty Lee falling from the high wire at the circus.
"No. You miscalculated! You should have feared me more!"
Azula covered her ears when Mai's blood curdling scream echoed every direction. She was shaking violently and having trouble breathing.
"Breathe. Azula, you must breathe. This is not real. It is only an illusion." Roku reassured the princess. "These are your guilt and shame. They are alive and well."
"But I could have killed them! I did kill the Avatar and several times I've almost successfully killed Zuko! I was foolish to try and ask Zuko for help. I don't deserve their help after everything I've done. How could I ever expect them to forgive me? Mother was right, I am a monster." Azula screamed in agony as she felt weaker and weaker as if she was becoming ash again.
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"Ease her gently into the tub." Chi instructed her assistants. The princess was precipitating tremendously from her fever and needed to have her temperature lowered. Once Azula was placed into the tub filled with water, Chi slowly froze the tub to not shock the firebender's body.
Hino bent some fire over Azula to feel the girl's spiritual energy. The moment she realized what was happening to the princess, her fire turned blue and enlarged, burning her hands and arms before dissipating.
"Doctor Hino!" All the assistants yelled.
"I'll be fine. Get me a bucket of ice quickly and aloe vera." All of the assistants scrambled out of the room to find what they needed for Hino.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Chi asked while still concentrating on her waterbending.
"Yeah. Nothing your waterbending can't do to heal it. It was my own damn fault anyways, she is the strongest firebender in the world after all. but I at least know what is wrong with her."
"It's a spiritual illness isn't it?"
Hino nodded as she looked down at her shaken hands. "It's up to her now. All we can do is try to provide her time. Stay strong, princess. There are people who love you and want you to get better. C'mon princess, you have a whole life ahead of you to go out like this! Stay strong and fight!"
At the corner of both doctor's eyes they noticed the flames from the candles and lanterns were flickering blue.
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Roku knelt down and placed his hand on Azula's cheek. "Azula, please listen. It is alright to feel guilty and ashamed, but you can not let it control you and bring out your fears. Aang is alive and will forgive you. Zuko is alive and has forgiven you. He wants you to get better."
"Mai and Ty Lee will never forgive me and I wouldn't blame them. I betrayed their trust by trying to make them fear me. I never deserved to call them friends."
"Mai might not forgive you right now, but holding a grudge only leads to despair. She will forgive you someday. Ty Lee has forgiven you, she visits when she can and she wants you to get better too. It is in the past that you need to let go and do what you can to show you've changed. It will take time, but remain vigilant. There will always be someone to help as long as you ask."
"What can I do? It hurts too much, I don't know what to do." Azula whimpered as tears started to trickle down her cheeks. "Besides it's not like anyone is ever going to believe that I want to change. Everyone things I'm a liar. I always lie."
"Are you lying about wanting to be better?"
"No."
"What about the love for Zuko and Ty Lee? Are you going to accept the lies and wrong assumptions others made of you?"
"No, I didn't lie about any of those!"
"Oh, please. All you do is lie it's how you've gotten by all this time." Azula looked up to see herself standing over her. "Hmph. Look at you. You're pathetic. My have you fallen since your Agni Kai. Father was right, you placed too much trust in those who only betrayed you and left you alone. Trust made you weak. You were at your best when you didn't let anyone stand in your path to achieve your goals. Maybe Mother was wrong. Go back to be the monster that you were."
Azula shook her head. "Shut up. You're such a child. A child living a fantasy that was never your own. I am not a monster. I am not a murderer. I am the conqueror of Ba Sing Se." Azula announced as she began standing up. "I am the daughter of the former Fire Lord Ozai and Princess Ursa. I am the great-granddaughter of the former Fire Lord Sozin and Avatar Roku. I am no longer that broken girl from the war. I am Azula, Princess of the Fire Nation and the strongest firebender in the world." She finished proudly having claim everything that she held to her identity and threw away everything she wasn't.
The shadow of her past disappeared with Roku standing in front of her smiling. "Well done. Now rise."
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Slowly Azula opened her eyes only to immediately closed them. Her head was throbbing, she never wanted to experience what she had just gone through with Roku ever again. As she was starting to gain her senses of her surrounding she felt the firm grip on her right hand. She opened her eyes again to see Zuko holding her hand. His head rested on his arms sleeping. Azula noted the tear stains on her brother's face, she guessed she probably cut it close when Roku was helping her recover. She squeezed his hand hoping it would cause him to wake up. And it did. The Fire Lord began to stir unsure if he actually felt his hand squeezed or wishful thinking.
"Hey Zuzu." Azula spoke softly.
Zuko's head shot up. "Azula? Please say I'm actually awake and not dreaming."
"Yeah… I'm awake." Azula's eyes widen from suddenly being hugged by her brother.
"I'm sorry! Azula, I'm so sorry!" Zuko kept apologizing as he started crying again. "I can't believe I almost lost you. I'm sorry for not visiting these last two years. I'm sorry I didn't tell you personally about Izumi. I'm sorry..."
Slowly she returned the hug and held onto him as if she let go this would have been a dream. "Zuko, don't abandon me." She whispered. "Please don't leave me behind. I need you."
"Never." He pulled back to look his sister in the eyes. "I'll never abandon you. Azula, our relationship is so messed up. It's been like that as long as I can remember. And maybe it'll be like that for the rest of our lives. But one fact never changes. No matter what, you're still my sister. And I need you too."
Notes: Finally the conclusion to the first arc of Wanted. The way I have Wanted roughly planned out is into three arcs. There have been hint drops throughout the first arc on what the second and third arc will cover before this story is concluded. Love to hear what you guys think will happen in the second and third arcs. Also the second and third arcs are only the last several chapters left of this story, not as long as the first arc.
Music is amazing. Conveying feelings that could apply to things running through your head for a story. If anyone is interested, I'll be happy to share the playlist I listen to when I write Wanted. Two of the songs I'll share now are: 'Slow Me Down' and 'Lullaby' both by Emmy Rossum. Those were the first two songs ever added to the playlist that inspired Wanted.