A/N I meant to mention this in the last chapter, but I've changed the rating on this to an M. Sad to say, but we are nearing the end of the story. There will be two more chapters after this though!
Sometimes we don't do things we want to do so that others won't know we want to do them. – Ivy Walker
"Don't use that language. Ever. You understand me, Charlotte?"
I bite the inside of my cheek, looking away from him. "I don't care what you have to say." He reaches for my hand as I jerk it away. "Don't touch me!"
"Wait just a minute now."
"No!"
"You're gonna listen to everythin' I have to say. I don't ask much from you but this is one thing you will do."
I fold my hands in my lap and look down. "Do you love her?"
Forrest gets on one knee in front of me. It wasn't like him to be submissive. He rests his hands on my hips. "I hope you know that not to be true."
I feel some relief, but did him not loving her make it any better? Now she's nowhere to be found. She couldn't even face me? Couldn't apologize?
"Maggie… she… she came to my room." He reddens recalling the memory. "Forward to a point she was naked as the day she was born."
I close my eyes, covering my mouth.
"Nothin' happened, though I don't know why I have to say it, but the look on your face tells me you figured somethin' did."
I take in a sharp breath and lock eyes with him. Of course. Maggie didn't know. No one knows about Forrest and me.
"Reason I ain't too proud is because it never should of got to that point. Charlotte, people are gonna know we're together so somethin' like this will never happen again. We spent all this time worryin' about what people think, or sparin' feelin's, but at what cost? I hope that you understand how strongly I feel for you." Forrest digs into his cardigan pocket and fishes something out. "I- I have this for you." It's a rose gold ring with a square sapphire stone.
I wrap my arms around his neck, sobbing against it. What a fool to think Forrest wasn't loyal to me. "I'm sorry."
"Nothin' to be sorry for, though I'd rather like it if you'd agree to take this here ring'n be my wife."
"Yes," I laugh at his tone. "It fits perfectly."
"I know it does."
"What do you mean?"
"There was a ring inside that black box I got from your room when the house burnt down. I took it from the box'n I had this one here sized."
My expression goes blank. "You've had this ring for two years?"
"Mmhm… yes."
"What the hell were you waiting for, you stubborn bastard?!" I hit him across the head with his own hat.
He lets out a grunt as his eyes shuffle side to side. "That day you left for the station, I was gonna give it to you then, but you stormed out of here in such a fit. By the time I caught up after you, I just didn't feel like it was the right time. I told you. Grown man can't say what he means."
"You best figure it out then!"
"Yes, Ma'am."
My eyes drop as I look over my new piece of jewelry. A symbol that I belong to him. An absolution. A certainty.
Forrest returns to his seat and slides the morning paper across the table. He taps his finger on the front page.
It's just like the two of us to pretend something as life changing as a proposal didn't happen. My eyes shift over towards the article. They've done a piece on the building I designed, but my smile quickly fades. "Did you read this?"
"No, I was about to."
I scoot it back to him, and point to the small print.
He grits his teeth.
"I think Mason's the reason I got the job in New York."
"Did he threaten you?"
"He threatened all of us."
"I asked if he threatened you!"
"He said he was going to bury me under that building." Forrest's chair sliding across the wood startles me. "Wait," I call, snatching his sleeve. "What are you going to do? Run around New York with your six shooter in hand until you find him?"
"I don't know, but you ain't going back to New York."
It feels good to hear his concern vocalized for once. Now if only he would have stopped me the first time. "Did Maggie go back to Chicago?"
"She's in town."
"I need to speak with her."
"I'll take you then."
"Do you really think she wants to face you right now?"
"Mmhm."
He hands me his gun.
I don't want it, but I take it.
"You go right there'n right back. Charlotte, I want your word."
"I won't be long."
"If you ain't back in one hour, I'm comin' for you."
Mason is always on the back of my mind. Seeing Forrest concerned doesn't help matters. I'll admit, it is stupid for me to leave, but I need to do this. Maggie is my friend, and I won't have this eating at her.
...
Maggie ties her robe more. "H- Hey."
"Do you have a second?"
"I didn't know, Charlotte, I swear."
"It's okay. Really." I drop my head some. "Nobody knows about Forrest and me."
"He looked so lost without you. I just thought he was lonely, and read into the signals all wrong."
"Yeah, I know a bit about reading him wrong," I laugh softly.
"Do you hate me?"
"I could never hate you. It's just a silly misunderstanding is all. Please, don't leave. Come back to the station."
"I can't."
"You're not safe here, and I'm not ready to say goodbye to you," I frown.
Maggie pulls me into a hug.
I've never had a friend before. I know that sounds silly, and I guess maybe I could count Walter, or Jack, but the friendship I have with Maggie is different. I look up to her in all the ways I never could Elizabeth. Maggie was the strongest woman I have ever met. I really can't blame her for coming onto Forrest. Women like us are just drawn to people like him.
"Let me get my things," she smiles.
Howard comes and has a seat at my feet like a mutt. He lays his head in my lap.
We're both such early risers, but sometimes I wonder if it's because we just never seem to sleep. The sun isn't even up yet. I run my fingers in his unkempt hair.
"I fuckin' missed you."
"You have such a way with words," I laugh.
"Look, there's somethin' you don't know."
I'm starting to wonder if I can handle any more truth these days. "Well?"
"You promise you won't be upset at me?"
"How can I promise something like that?"
He sighs and gets up from the porch. "Follow me."
It strikes me a bit odd when he takes me to his place out back.
Howard sets a few boxes on his bed, and pulls the lid from the first one.
I lean over, peeking inside the box. I thought maybe they were letters he had written to me, but just never had the courage to send them. Then I see that the sender is Forrest. In fact, they're all from Forrest.
"To save you the trouble of counting, it's two hundred and seventeen letters."
It's one for every day I was gone in New York, aside from the one I received.
Howard takes one from the other box and gives it to me. "This is the letter he wrote the day Rakes shot him. I found it on his nightstand when I was collectin' his things to fetch him from the hospital. It wasn't sealed, so I read this one. Charlotte, I kept those other letters because I don't believe Forrest is a good enough man for you. Hell, I ain't either, but I've always told you the truth about my feelin's for you. He'd rather you read his fuckin' mind, or write it in a goddamn letter and that ain't love. Then I read this letter and I see just how wrong I am."
I remove the paper so fast from the envelope, I rip it while doing it.
Sweetest Charlotte,
I remember the day you'n Lorelai up'n left for New York. I knew it meant that I'd never get to say all the things I'd want. Every time I'd get the courage to say them, I'd see how happy you were to be gone from Franklin County'n I couldn't bring myself to come between that. I didn't want to complicate things with your new life, so I waited in hopes that you'd find your way back.
I turn the envelope over and dump out old train tickets. Forrest had come to New York every year that I was away. Always around my birthday.
This is why I pushed you so hard to go to New York this time because, after Lorelai, I just want you to be happy. Only this time, I find myself thinkin' about me and not you, and how much I need you. I'm sorry if you end up resentin' me, but I can't watch someone else walk in the station door that ain't you. I'm comin' for you, Charlotte. I'm comin for you, and I'm bringin' you home, and when I do, I'm goin' to marry you so that I never have to watch you leave again.
Forrest
"Oh, gosh," I sob. I've been wrong about Forrest all along, too. He really has cared for me all these years.
"He's so goddamn impassive, I didn't realize how he felt for you. How he's always felt. It wasn't right for me to come between that."
Oddly, this means more to me now than if I would have received them like I was intended.
"I'm sorry." Howard wipes my tears.
"It's okay. Thank you, Howard."
"No. Thank you, Charlotte. You're the best thing that ever happened to us. You showed us all how to be better men."
He'd have to wipe my tears away again because they aren't stopping. "That's not the white lightning talking, is it?"
"I haven't had a drink since you left."
I move my arms around his waist. "I'm so proud of you." I let out a grunt. "Too tight, Howard."
"Sorry," he laughs, losing his vice grip on me.
"We'll talk later, okay?"
His lip tugs upward. "Yeah. Okay."
I think I make it back to the station in three steps because I'm practically leaping in the back door. "Forrest," I call as I hurry up the steps. "Forrest!"
He's sitting on his bed, buttoning up his shirt.
I set the letter on his lap.
"Uh.." He clears his throat, like he's embarrassed for sending them.
"Yeah, I expected as much out of you."
He gives me some stoic stare before he puts on his v neck sweater. "I wondered where that letter went."
I shake my head, plopping down next to him. It's anything but graceful because dammit! "You know, I wish you'd look at me with half the passion you put into these lett-"
Forrest pulls me against him by the small of my back, his lips silencing me. It was nothing like I before. He takes charge, leaving me at his mercy.
What the hell am I doing exactly? I tried to mimic his moves but it's too intense, too quick.
His hands run down my back until he grabs my behind and pulls me on his lap.
I push his ragged hat up, deepening the kiss, but he throws it to the ground and stops our kiss only to pull his v neck sweater over his head. Oh, gosh. Is this really happening?
He grabs my hands and places them on his chest, then pulls down his suspenders.
I swallow hard and nervously start to undo the buttons on his shirt as he pulls what part of the shirt is tucked in his pants out and helps me undo the rest of his buttons. I move the shirt over his broad shoulders. My eyes lower, studying his muscular frame.
He shakes the shirt from his arms and starts kissing my neck, down my collarbone.
My fingers run through his short hair, letting out several deep breaths the farther down his lips travel. I thought I'd help him by unzipping my dress, but he stills my hand.
"Charlotte, is this what you want?"
"I want to feel you."
"Mmhm," he groans excited, pressing me to his bed. He gets to his knees, running his fingers up my legs.
I lift my hips up some so he can reach under my dress and take my panties off with ease.
He shakes his head no, stretching over me. "Not yet," he replies in my ear before his lips move downward.
He'd rather I suffer, but when his teeth sink into my skin, I don't mind the wait. Forrest's lips meet mine, as his hand reaches under me to start unzipping my dress.
I kick these stupid boots to the floor before I'm only left in those. That sure would be a sight to see.
His eyes look me over.
I twist the sheets between my fingers a little embarrassed because I'm not wearing much.
He runs his fingers over my stomach, up my left breast as I moan softly, arching my back. "Charlotte," he draws my name out.
I groan in anticipation. "Forrest, get on with it!" Knowing my luck, the damn house would catch fire before he makes a move.
"Uh.." He doesn't even take his pants off, only unzipping them enough.
Finally! My fingers curl into his arms and I shut my eyes. It wasn't like anything I had expected. In fact, it's painful. I squirm, letting out an uncomfortable whine.
He pulls himself out as I sigh relieved. "Do you want me to stop?"
"I thought it would feel good."
"Open your eyes, Charlotte." When I do, he eases himself back in slow at first, working himself in and out, then pushes all the way inside me.
My mouth opens wide as I throw my head back and his name uncontrollably leaves my lips. I get exactly what I asked for, because he is anything but gentle once I give him the okay.
He sets an eager pace, grunting every now and then with each fierce thrust.
"Forrest," I moan. I'm almost embarrassed at this woman I've become. To let passion take over me like this that I can't control the things I'm saying. We weren't gazing into each other's eyes or any of that nonsense I've always heard people do. I was just trying to figure out how to arch more against him to take him in even further.
His face is planted firmly against my cleavage, only leaving when his lips start to explore every inch of skin.
I dig my fingers into his nape, which I find out quickly he's not too fond of, but I don't care about his opposition. I just want something to grab onto. His skin is hot and slick under my fingers as they start to slip towards the hard contours of his shoulder. I moan again in his ear, then take in the scent of the pomade in his hair. My stomach tightens in anticipation as it's getting more difficult to keep quiet.
"Charlotte," he moans.
My name said in such an intimate setting sends me over the edge. I find my release as his gets caught in my throat.
Forrest doesn't often swear, but a slew of profanity leaves his lips, followed by a grunt. His thrusts start to slow, before he comes to a complete stop.
I'm left immobile trying to catch my breath.
He presses his lips to my temple.
"Do you think less of me since we aren't married?"
"You know I don't."
"I just wanted to hear you say it."
He rubs his thumb over my ring. "Ain't nobody gonna call what's mine anythin' other than by your name."
I have no doubt in my mind there's complete truth to that. Truth that I thought would never come.
...
I look up through my lashes at Forrest from the bar.
He doesn't try to hide the fact he's watching me.
My cheeks redden and I actually find myself giggling. It's the strangest thing, but Forrest does things to me that I cannot logically explain. I feel like a new woman, wishing we could go back upstairs. Maybe that's why I'm blushing.
"Charlotte," Howard huffs, busting in through the station door. "Sheriff Hodges wants to speak to you."
That's odd. I can't imagine why.
Forrest wants to speak to him first, but as soon as I step outside, Hodges joins us on the porch.
"Charlotte Slaughter, you're under arrest," he tells me.
"What?" I dismiss him with a laugh.
"Go on now," Forrest tells Hodges.
A pair of handcuffs are slung around my wrist. "Forrest," I whimper.
Forrest's nostrils flare before he takes Hodges to the ground.
I didn't even notice the eight other lawmen that have gathered around the porch and they are quick to separate the two.
"No," Forrest screams when the Sheriff cuffs my other hand in front of me.
"Forrest, stop," I beg when he tries to lunge at Hodges again.
It wasn't like Forrest to be the irrational one, and Howard having to hold him back.
"Charlotte," Maggie cries.
"You'll take me instead," Forrest tells him.
"Forrest, it don't work like that," Hodges tells him, guiding me towards the police car.
It takes Howard and Jack to restrain Forrest.
"You can't take her from me!"
"It's already settled, Forrest. Inside the car, Charlotte."
Had those murders of Mason's men finally caught up with me?
Forrest runs over to the car. "Charlotte," his muffled voice shouts against the glass before he's pulled back.
"Forrest," I sob, pressing my hand to the window.
He breaks free, placing his hand against mine. "I will come for you!"
"I know you will."
"I love you, Charlotte."