HEY! HEY! LET'S PLAY A GAME!

Lets see how many of you will review this time. HA! You can put anything, a smilie, a bunch of dots, random letters, I just wanna see how many of you read these notes before the story thingies… Yes, yes, I am in a very strange mood, thanks for noticing…

Disclaimer: South Park and all its characters is copyright Matt Stone, Trey Parker, and whoever else owns it or whatever. That means, not me.

Authors Notes:

NA NA NA NAAA
NA NA NA NAAA
HEY
HEY
HEY
GOOOODDD BYYYEEE

Uh, dude. This chapter doesn't change, its just one whole thing. AMAZING.

Oh, and yes, Butters accent kicked my ass. I'd write him without it, but it doesn't feel right. So, sorry for being so horrible at that.

As weird as it seems, I really DO love Butters…. Even if he IS trying to steal Kenny's spot on the show… no hard feelings, really…. Okay, maybe a little… tiny bit…

OH AND FUNNY: I didn't even know I uploaded the last chapter. My head was soo fuzzy from Nyquil that I cannot remember finishing it and uploading it. That's pretty bad…

THANKS x 100000 TO:

Ms. Horrorshow: Hey, I'm finally getting over my cold! I hope you're feeling better too, being sick suuuccckkksss… Haha, Kenny definitely is going through Kyle withdrawal… but honestly, who wouldn't? Heh…

Wannaseemymoon: HEEY we share something! I don't like making boys overly girly either, lately I've been reading some yaoi manga and getting pissed off because of it. Heh… I'm glad to hear you're enjoying it, I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint… actually, the next one will probably be better… heh…

Title: Vanilla Blue

Author: Zoshi the Confused
Rating: PG-13 to M (eventually)
Category: South Park

Genre: General/Romance

Contains: (or will contain) Violence, Adult Situations, Swearing, SHOUNEN-AI - BOYLOVE

It was study, and Kenny was actually in the room they were supposed to be in. That fact in and of itself was enough to show just how preoccupied with things he was at the moment. He was sitting on the floor, in a corner, and staring up at the clock that hung on the wall.

He was counting the hours.

What a fucking loser…

He closed his eyes, trying to stop thinking about things.

Tomorrow were the SATs.

The day after was the eleventh.

stop…stop…stop…

And on the eleventh he got to talk to Kyle again.

He got to see Kyle again.

urrrggghhhhh

Apparently, he wasn't going to stop thinking about it. He wasn't going to stop thinking about Kyle, and about how awesome it would be to see him again, and talk to him, even if they did end up getting totally pissed at each other. How awesome it would be just to be by him again. Fuck, he wanted to go find him right now. Right now, just get up and go over to that stupid SAT prep course and just drag him out of there and… and…

The ringing bell saved him from doing anything totally spontaneous and most likely stupid. He grabbed his bag and made his way out of the room, getting pulled along in the tide of students rushing out of study and heading home. He felt a little sleepy, he'd been feeling that a lot lately, even more ever since he'd stopped seeing Kyle. Everything around him was noisy and bustling and loud, but it felt like it was all so far away from him, the noises muted and distant. He kept his gaze on the ground as he shuffled out of the school, wincing as bright light hit his face but too tired to pull his hood on.

The amount of out-of-it that he was was so fucking huge that when a hand clapped him on the shoulder, he didn't even blink. That was beyond out-of-it, that was fucking my-brain's-taking-a-vacation-in-the-Alps-for-the-next-Five-Years out-of-it.

"Hey Kenny, how's it goin'?" He voice was wavery, as usual with it, but mostly pleasant. Kenny grunted in reply and turned to Butters.

"What?" He asked. Strangely, he felt even more detached from everything without a clock to stare at. He had the weirdest feeling that if he wasn't watching the minute hand tick by, that time was standing still

"Well, Abigail said ya were havin' some sorta problems, Ah thought Ah might be able to help ya out or something'," Butters shrugged, grinning.

Ah, Butters, sweet, innocent little Butters. Always willing to help a friend. Always.

Kenny grunted again. He didn't feel like being helped at the moment.

"I'm fine, Butters," He said, starting off down the sidewalk. It was clearing up rapidly, people getting into cars or running off, everyone just wanting to be gone, gone, gone. Butters followed him, keeping a little behind but staying close. He started humming a random tune, Kenny heard. He wished the other blonde would just leave him alone, he was a little too preoccupied to be entertaining anyone right now.

"So, what's wrong?" Butters asked. Kenny didn't reply, but finally got up the strength to reach up and pull his hood on.

"You two not talking or somethin'?" Butters probed further.

"Maybe…" Kenny muttered, distracted. He wondered what Kyle was going to be doing now. Fitting in some extra cram time? Or maybe just trying to relax before the test? It was a big deal, fuck, he better not sleep in tomorrow. He better not fall asleep during the test either. If he stayed up all night just to get some stupid extra study time, Kenny was going to hit him. He would find out, and then he would beat his ass because Kyle always said that a person needed to get some rest before doing anything important and if he didn't follow his own rules then fuck him. Yeah.

"Why's that?" Butters voice was background noise to him, but he responded anyways.

"Stupid SATs…" Kenny growled. They were reaching the park by the school now, a crappy little number with broken swing sets scattered around a slide and a whirli-thingy, whatever that was called. Kenny walked over to a still hanging swing and sat down, staring out into the trees beyond the park. Butters sat sideways on the swing next to him, putting his feet up on the edge of the broken swing next to his and leaning back against the heavy chain.

"Ah think you should talk to him," Butters said, curling his fingers around the chain behind his head.

"hngh," Kenny wondered if he should go to the SATs tomorrow morning. It wasn't as if it would do any good, he had barely looked at the prep books, even though Kyle had tried to get him to study. He should just skip them, he could always take the next test at the beginning of the new school year, if the school really wanted him to. He didn't see a point, it wasn't like he was going to get into any colleges anyway, there was no way he could afford it. Even if a public college took him in, he still wouldn't have enough for books or fees or anything. But if he skipped the SATs Kyle would know, and he'd be mad about that too. Fuck. Did he really want to piss Kyle off more than he already had?

"Ah mean, that's the only way he'll know what's wrong, Kenny," Butters said softly. "Ya can't expect him to be psychic, things just don't work like that…"
"Come on, like things weren't totally obvious!" Kenny snorted, "If only he'd taken his nose out of those stupid fucking books he would've known…"

Truth, truth, that's what it was. Fuck, all he ever did was study, study, study. Kenny felt he was right, shit, if all Kyle was going to do was study whenever he came over, then he didn't want to be there. What was the point, anyway? Kyle wouldn't let him touch him, or kiss him, or anything, fuck, just sit there and stare at the walls and sleep. Yeah, that's what he usually did, fall asleep. Fuck.

"Well, are ya gonna talk to Kyle, or are ya just gonna let this get all broken and un-fixable or somethin'?" Butters asked, leaning his head back to look at Kenny.

"Well, yeah, I'm gonna talk to him-" Kenny stopped.

Wait.

Wait.

He felt cold all of a sudden. Very, very cold. And his insides suddenly squeezed, and he couldn't tell if he was breathing at that moment or not.

"Kenny? Are ya all right?" Butters let of the swing chain and twisted around in his seat.

Kenny turned to look at him, slowly, because he found he couldn't move any faster.

fuck fuck shit fuck shit shit!

"Did… did you… you said, you said…" Kenny heard his voice crack, but couldn't finish the sentence. Butters stared at him, confused for a moment. Then he sighed, smiling.

"Kenny. Yes. Ah did." He clarified.

"Oh." Kenny felt colder, if that was possible. Weird, because his hands were sweating so bad he was losing his grip on the swing chain.

"Its all right." Butters said.

"Oh." Kenny's mind wasn't really working, apparently.

"I didn't tell anyone." Butters assured.

"Oh." Kenny was still staring at him. "Fuck… fuck, how? How the hell did you find out?"

Butters smiled wide, shrugging.

"Ah just put two an' two together…" Butters said. Kenny looked at him, confused, and the blonde continued. "First, ya weren't hitting on girls like ya usually are, right? And then, Ah was talkin' to Stan a few times and he was sayin' how Kyle was helping ya study a lot lately, which Ah guess was understandable. But then, Kyle started cutting outta Pre-Cal early and coming into History a bit late, and looking all flustered, and Ah just started thinking, 'cause he never really looked too into any girls, but that was all just somewhere, there, in the back 'a my head. And then Abigail was sayin' how sometimes Kyle would show up when your shift was endin' and he'd stick around until you got off even though it was real late at night to 'hang out' with ya… and now, Ah don't see you two hangin' out at all lately, and both 'a ya are looking like ya just got diagnosed with some horrible disease, or, or someone just died on ya, or somethin', and then Abigail tells me you're having some sorta relationship problems or something, so… ya know, I just guessed… musta been right, then…"

Kenny stared at him. And squeaked. He knew he squeaked, because he recognized it distinctly as the sound a rat made when it was cornered by one of the stray cats that would come into their house whenever they left their door open. Butters was giving him an honest, open, grinny-grin as if everything he said and everything it meant was the most normal of normal things to happen.

Kenny's mind had apparently decided to become a broken record.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck…

"You make it sound so fucking obvious! Shit!" Kenny felt himself shaking. Shit, what if someone else knew? What if people were starting to figure it out?!

"What? No, no, Kenny, no, its not," Butters hurried to reassure him. Kenny found he couldn't believe him. No way, not if Butters figure it out.

"People are probably figuring it out right now, right fucking now! Someone's figuring it out, someone's putting it all together, and, and figuring it out! That's what they're doing!" Kenny gripped the swing chains tightly.

"Kenny, relax." Butters laughed. Kenny looked at him in shock. Relax?! "Kenny, listen, ya two weren't obvious, really. Ah just… well, Ah just know something about… that… ya know?"
He laughed again, louder this time.

"Ya could, ya could say I had some experience in that sorta stuff…" Butters smiled at him, a secret smile. Sweet, innocent, naïve Butters. Kenny was in shock.

"What." Kenny tried to phrase it as a question, but failed. Butters shrugged.

"Had ta go through it a year ago…" He started swinging slightly, dragging the toes of his shoes in the mix of snow and dirt beneath the swings.

"Fuck." Kenny was still in a state of disbelief. Somewhere, a train had derailed.

"Is it really that hard to believe?" Butters asked, looking over with an amused look on his face.

"Well… kinda, yeah, I mean, sure, you're not like some macho dude or anything, but…" Kenny shrugged. It was still kind of weird.

"Hm." Butters looked a little happier than he had a moment ago. Kenny looked at him for a long moment. He really hadn't considered that Butters would be… well, fuck, that was a weird thought. It was just plain weird. Except, now that he started thinking about it, it sort of made sense. In some weird way.

"How… how did it go?" Kenny asked finally, his voice low.

Butters looked at the ground, biting his lip. A simple question, but Kenny wondered if maybe he'd asked something a little too… personal. He looked away, off to the trees across from them again. With the initial shock gone, he felt a little… calm. It was kind of nice to have someone else know your secret, actually. Kind of nice to think that you have someone to talk to about it.

"Its not easy to find someone who's willin' to take the risk, Kenny," Butters finally spoke. He'd been quiet for so long that Kenny had begun to forget that he'd even asked a question. "Its just too much for some people… If… if ya two are willin' to work with each other, if ya two are really serious about this… Then Ah don't think that somethin' stupid like the SATs should get in the way of that… Ya know? If, if ya really want to be together, then ya'll find a way to work past it…"

Butters looked up, and Kenny saw that even though he was smiling, a bit nervously, his eyes were sad. Kenny felt a pang deep inside. Shit, Butters was right. He did want to be with Kyle, and even though the redhead was being an ass lately, he knew that Kyle wanted to be with him too. And stupid shit shouldn't get in the way of being with someone you really wanted to be with.

"Thanks Butters." Kenny said, and he really meant it. Fuck, everything was so clear now. The blond smiled, looking a little more relaxed.

"So, are ya gonna talk to him?" Butters asked, starting to swing a little harder. Kenny nodded.

"Sunday." He said, dropping his hands on his knees.

"Sunday?" Butters sounded puzzled.

"I told him we'd talk on the day after the SATs." Kenny explained, "And fuck, I'm not gonna go running to him like a little girl just because I figured out I want to work things out for real this time."

Butters laughed.

"You're way too stubborn." Butters shook his head. Kenny glared at him.

"Me? No fucking way, he's the stubborn one." Kenny folded his arms, "Shit. I'm just keeping to my word, that's all."

"You just don't want to look over-anxious." Butters translated. He seemed to be getting a kick out of the situation. Kenny flipped him off.

"You know what? You know what you can go do right now?" Kenny growled. "Yeah, that, that right there."

Butters laughed again, and this time Kenny joined in.

"Tell me how it goes?" Butters asked, sounding innocent and hopeful again.

"Sure, why the hell not…" Kenny shrugged. He looked over at the other blond, grinning evilly. "Wanna see who can jump off of these the farthest?"

"Ah don't know Kenny…" Butters looked a little unsure. "Last time Clyde tried it he broke his arm in two places…"

"Aw, you pussy," Kenny started swinging hard, "Be a man!"

"I am a man!" Butters replied indignantly, but started swinging as well.

"Loser buys dinner," Kenny laughed.

Finally, he didn't feel like drowning himself anymore.
It was good.