Chapter Ten- The Birth of a Secret

A beam of sunlight hit Allan's eyelids causing them to flutter open and he took a few moments to adjust his vision to the harshness of the morning light. It had been a while since he had woken up at a time when it was light; they were normally woken at the crack of dawn, even before the darkness had died, so that they could crack on with whatever mission they had that day. Wearily he sat up and rubbed his eyes, forcing his eyelids to stay open (despite how much they fought otherwise) and slowly studied his surroundings. This definitely wasn't camp… He placed a hand down on the stone floor to his right and frantically began scurrying around in search of some item of clothing (he was beginning to feel the draft), hardly able to muster the energy to turn his head to help. Why was he so tired?

That was when he felt it: his fingers graze across something silky smooth, yet cold as ice. Letting a sigh fall from his lips, he slowly turned round to study the source of the confusion. His eyes flickered over what appeared to be a person, but they refused to stay open for long. For a moment he closed them, hoping to rejuvenate any energy he had left in him, and only reopened them a few seconds later when he had found the will power to do so. It was definitely a woman… His gaze flickered up to her head, and without needing to look twice, Allan let out a loud "Jesus Christ!"

He scrambled to his feet, seeking his trousers and pulling them on quickly. Oh God, oh God… What had he done? Grabbing his top and jacket, which had been discarded by the cave entrance, he carefully made for the door. Then he halted. She was ice cold, he had felt it himself... He couldn't let her wake up feeling like that (especially if she had contracted some kind of pneumonia- the lads would kill him!) Without another thought he hurried over to the sleeping figure, placed his top and jacket across her, gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and made for the exit.

Allan, you are an idiot. A total, total idiot.

He walked round to the side of the cave and slumped down beside the river. It was violent today, the waters swirling around in a manner that Allan had never witnessed before, despite how many times he had sat in this same spot. With a groan he bent over the water, scooped up a handful, and threw it at his face. Wake up, Allan! You can't deal with this if you're half asleep!

Allan had done some things in his time; stupid, crazy things, but this really took the biscuit. He had enjoyed last night, of course, but it didn't mean it was right! This was Kate. The gang would hate him and, more importantly, he had ruined her. He was such an idiot. Why couldn't he have just dragged a tavern girl down here?

Suddenly a pair of arms wrapped around his neck and a voice whispered in his ear, "I have something that belongs to you."

Allan turned, only to find his top and jacket being flung at his face. A loud childish laughter echoed from behind them, and he brushed them away to come face to face with Kate.

"Though you do look better without it," she teased, running her fingers along his bare chest.

Allan grinned. "You found your clothes then? Bloody well knew I should have hidden them!"

He mentally scolded himself. Why was he encouraging this? He needed self control! Christ, he would have given anything for Robin to interrupt right now… He glanced down at her finger still creating patterns across his chest. Or maybe not…

"About last night," he started, reaching up to gently ease her hand away from him. He had never had to have one of these 'it-shouldn't-have-happened' speeches, and now faced with the situation, he was seriously wondering how on earth people managed them.

"You weren't that good, Allan," she interrupted. She knew all too well how to press his buttons, yet strangely he didn't seem to have any kind of witty comeback. Her smile dropped.

Allan nervously played with her fingers while trying to think of anything to say.

"No one can know," he stated simply, before letting her hand fall back to her side and turning to walk away.

"Why? Thought you liked everyone knowing you had 'scored'?" she snapped, knowing that losing her temper with him now was not a good idea, but at the same time being unable to prevent it.

"And there I was thinking you actually thought highly of me!" he replied in such a way that Kate would have been unable to tell if he was joking. He continued walking away though, unwilling to turn around to face her.

Kate ran after him. "No Allan, because what I did last night clearly shows how much I hate you!" she shouted after him sarcastically.

He halted, pivoting on his heel until he had turned to face her, but refused to wait for her to catch up before he spoke.

"Sorry, alright? I'm a bad influence… and this was a very bad idea!" he flailed his arms slightly, half in frustration, half at his own stupidity.

"But I love you," she spoke softly, stopping directly in front of Allan and refusing to lose eye contact with him.

Allan just wanted to run away. No one had said that to him! He wasn't ready for commitment; he was just trying to get through each and every day without being poisoned by Much! He looked to the floor, trying to think of anything to say. He didn't love Kate, he didn't love anyone! Sure, she was gorgeous and all that, but love…? Then again he had never felt love, so he probably wouldn't notice it if it came and bit him on the arse.

"Did you really think I wasn't that good?" he eventually managed to say, hoping that this witty remark would throw her off the trail of all things he had avoided saying.

"Arghh," she groaned, slapping him with all her might across his upper arm. She hadn't picked up on his dodging of topic, but at the same time she wasn't ready to reduce the conversation to a mockery.

She stormed past him, and headed in the direction of camp. Allan followed swiftly behind, glad that that conversation had been stalled for a while.

"But seriously, you didn't think I was good?" he called after her, insecurity suddenly creeping into his voice.

Kate smirked, but made no reply. She had never seen Allan so worried about anything before! Though part of her worried… Maybe Allan wasn't the man she thought he was. Maybe he did want only one night.