"He wants to talk to you! About important stuff?!" yelled Trouble, who was close to a nervous breakdown.

"Yes, and it's not really surprising. I have to talk to him! Being the leader of the free world and all, we have to get things straightened out."

"What if it's a set-up?" Trouble asked suspiciously.

"I'll be armed, of course."

"It's just like the time I went to talk to him. Do you remember how dangerous you thought that is?"

"It's different, Trouble. I have to do it."

There was a minute of silence. Suddenly Trouble got up from his seat and said, "I want to do it."

"You can't do it!" said Root, "It's too important. I know you hate him, but it's not the time. You're too extreme. I'm afraid you'll mess it all up. You heard what he said. He wants the leader. Not a right-wing Deputy!"

"Well." Said Trouble angrily, "Fine. You're the commander, right? So do whatever you want. But I want to be there to back you up. It's the least you can do for me!"

"Alright," said Root, "But you'll be shielded all the time. I don't want to hear you talk, even a word. You got it?"

"Yes," said Trouble, "When are we going?"

Amy Brown was not an important person. She was Daniel Malone's secretary, but that was all. That's why it was so shocking for her (and everyone who knew her) to know that she was the first person to talk directly to Commander Root, besides Artemis Fowl. It happened when she manicured her nails while working. The phone rang.

"Hello, you reached President Malone's office. What can I do for you?"

"Hello… this it Julius Root, commander of the LEP."

"What, Sir?"

"Fairyland, alright? I'm the leader of Fairyland, and I want to talk to Malone."

"Are you sure you're not pulling a practical joke, Sir? Because if you are, I'm sure the president will frown upon it."

"Just let me talk to him…" he said impatiently.

"Sir, you are the fifth leader of Fairyland to call today. I'm afraid it's very hard to believe you."

"JUST LET ME TALK TO HIM!" he screamed, and his face turned redder.

"Okay, Sir, no need to shout," she said, and passed the call to Malone.

"Julius Root?" Malone said, "That is one creative mind you've got there. How can I know it's really you?"

"Because I know you sent Richards to tell Artemis you want to talk to me. And about that- what are you, in the third grade, or something?"

"I think I passed that a few years ago. When can you meet me?"

Root covered the phone with his hand. "Trouble, when's the next hotshot?"

Trouble checked the board. "Tomorrow afternoon."

"Well, I'll be there tomorrow afternoon," said Root.

"Excellent. I'll clear my schedule for you. What's a hotshot?"

Root hung up the phone.

Root came in to Malone's office the same way Trouble did- through the window. He didn't want to go through the mess of security and weird looks.

"Commander!" Malone's face lit up, "I was expecting for you to come this way. Come in, come in."

"If Trouble Kelp was here too, would you let him come in, too?"

"Of course I would. Why?"

"Hypothetic question," he said while Trouble came to the window.

"Well, sit down and we'll talk."

"Actually, I have a plan about how we can get along."

"I have one too. How can I attack you?"

"Excuse me?"

"I want your land." Said Malone, and leaned closer to Root.

"We don't have a land," said Root and looked for a cigar, "We live belowground. We hate it there."

"Then you won't mind giving it to humans! We really need it! Look at China. They have so many people there. Don't you want to give them some room? And what about Russia? And Canada?"

"Do they want to attack us?" he asked, "I don't think those countries need war."

"They don't. But the US will get the land, and sell it to the highest bidder."

"You're not so clever, are you? We have a population of about 13,000 people. You can't live there."

"I'm sure you have a lot of space for all the fairies!" he screamed, and Trouble set his Neutrino quietly, ready for action.

"I'm not sure about that."

"Just tell me this- how can I attack you? You think you're so smart with your technology and your magic? Forget it. Because one little army can crush you like little flying roaches."

"You don't really expect me to answer the question. You really shouldn't attack us. What if you'd find out there's a group of people who lives in Antarctica? Would you attack them, as well?"

"Maybe," said Malone seriously, "If you won't tell me how to attack, I will just call my guards. We can play cowboys and Indians. We'll take a bunch of fairies hostage in exchange for lands, and we can start with you. I have five dozens of people waiting behind my door, just waiting for my queue."

Trouble shot the doorknob. It melted, and it was now impossible to open the door. Anyone who wants to get in will have to break it. Root smiled.

"How did that happen?" Malone said with a frightened expression on his face.

"I'm telekinetic."

"But you didn't even look at the door!"

"Just forget it," Root laughed. "Listen. You're the only man in this world who wants to attack us. Don't do it. It's not worth it, and you don't even know how to go belowground."

"Or maybe you're just lying."

"I don't think so," said Root and went out of the window. Trouble followed.