Dear Guan Yu,
Will you please stop? My mail box is filled with just your mails!
Xiahou Dun
Guan Yu,
You're not supposed to be honored. And it's not like there is nothing but your mails in my mail box, I'm sociable.
Xiahou Dun
Dear Ba,
No, no need to. You will get hurt.
Wait, 'your niece'…..?
Xiahou Dun
Dear Yuan,
(is this Gan Ji doing? But he said he only gives a wish for each person. Then who wished Ba to be a girl…?) I have no idea, Yuan. I know it's not Xun Yu, though….
Dun
Dear cousin,
I know! But I can't help it, cousin. Let's just wait until I change my hairstyle in DW9.
Dun
Dear Zhang Chunhua,
What?! But I thought you were going to give it to me! You lied to me!
Xiahou Dun
Zhang Chunhua,
And about Pi trying to marry Ba, you can't fool me anymore, woman!
Xiahou Dun
Dear Cao Pi,
In case you don't know, those are supposed to be mine.
Xiahou Dun
Cao Pi,
I'm your uncle, remember? Just because I served you for a while and is a subordinate, don't forget that I'm your uncle.
YOUR uncle Dun
Cao Pi,
I'm going to remind you in every single letters.
YOUR uncle Dun
Cao Pi,
You used to beg me for food when you were little, don't you remember?
YOUR uncle Dun
Dear Guan Yu,
Go away, Guan Yu!
Xiahou Dun
Guan Yu,
No I don't want to build a snowman! It's not even winter yet.
Xiahou Dun
Dear Sima Yi,
Hey, you said you look like both sexes so…can you come here for a while?
Xiahou Dun
Sima Yi,
It's nothing serious. Really.
Xiahou Dun
Sima Yi,
Just come here, will you? I have cookies.
Xiahou Dun
Sima Yi,
(I've got no choice) Fine. But here are your cookies. They're almond.
Xiahou Dun
Dear Zhang Chunhua,
Oh your husband is knocked out already? Let me borrow him. It's Lord Cao Cao's order.
Xiahou Dun
Zhang Chunhua,
And about Zhang He, I don't really care. If he dies then he won't ask me to wear female dresses anymore. Tell your son that I'm thankful.
Xiahou Dun
Dear Guan Yu,
Hey, hey you. I knew this guy who loves to wear my clothes. He has been lying in the middle of China. I don't like you, but he does. You can think of him as my replacement. Go to him and leave me alone!
Xiahou Dun
Dear Sima Yi,
I don't know why are you suddenly in the middle of China and Guan Yu started chasing you when you woke up. Farewell.
Xiahou Dun
Dear Ba,
(One problem's cleared! Now for the other one….) You're not marrying Cao Pi, right? RIGHT?
Uncle Dun
Ba,
I swear, he's no good of a man, he's a spoiled brat. Beside, he already has Zhen Ji.
Uncle Dun
Ba,
Oh, you're not? Good.
Uncle Dun
Dear Cao Pi,
Don't even try to touch Ba.
YOUR uncle Dun
Cao Pi,
She said yes to a date? Just the two of you? WHY?
YOUR uncle Dun
Dear Zhen Ji,
Your husband's cheating! Kill him with your damn flute now!
Xiahou Dun
Zhen Ji,
You don't care? How could this happen? I thought you love him?
Xiahou Dun
Zhen Ji,
Your love to the Prince has been questioned. You can prove your loyalty by unallowing Pi to have a date with Ba.
Xiahou Dun
Zhen Ji,
Yes, that's it.
Xiahou Dun
Dear Cao Pi,
In your face!
YOUR uncle Dun
Cao Pi,
Yes, this is how an uncle supposed to act. Don't complain.
YOUR uncle Dun
Dear Zhang Chunhua,
Can you please prevent Sima Yi from writing to me? He keep sending complain about Guan Yu.
Xiahou Dun
Zhang Chunhua,
I don't know what happened between them.
Xiahou Dun
Dear cousin,
Yay you don't hate me anymore! Hate Sima Yi because he took your Guan Yu.
Dun
Dear Cao Xing,
What, what are you watching? I did nothing. And what are you doing here?
Xiahou Dun
Cao Xing,
Hahahahaha. Guan Yu? Who's Guan Yu? I know no one such as Guan Yu. And I did nothing.
Xiahou Dun
Cao Xing,
I did nothing, okay? Now he loves Sima Yi and not me.
Xiahou Dun
Dear Cao Pi,
What? Ba is not a girl anymore?
YOUR uncle Dun
Dear Gan Ji,
The effect will only last for a day? But Guan Yu lasted for two!
Xiahou Dun
Gan Ji,
Ah well, I don't really care about Guan Yu. Let Sima Yi do the caring thing. Anyway, who wished for Ba to be a girl?
Xiahou Dun
Gan Ji,
I knew it!
Xiahou Dun
Cao Pi,
You spoiled brat!
YOUR uncle Dun