They Couldn't Stop the Voices, Chapter 10

They Couldn't Believe Their Eyes

They couldn't believe their eyes…the Gryffindor fifths had a lot of explaining to do to those that had been holed up in the common room all day. How is it that they were too busy with their own endeavors to notice?

In the boys' dorm, Peter woke up, exhausted from the long night, at exactly 8:42. He was starving, as innocently carefree boys usually are (and by now he was the only one of our poor group of boys who was still innocent and carefree). Leaping out of his bed and racing downstairs without even bothering to change out of his pajamas, Pete had already practically forgotten to be mad at Sirius for his absence the night before and the difficulties it had caused for them. Frankly, Peter just did not want to miss breakfast. His head pounded from lack of sleep, as if he had the hangover of the century. He needed some coffee badly.

Rosie was the only one Peter saw still at breakfast in the Great Hall. Remus was sitting quietly at the end of the Gryffindor table opposite from where the Marauders usually sat, noticed by neither Rosie nor Peter as he came in. He had only sat there to be hidden by the hoards of bustling first-years because he could not bear to be seen by Rosie after her involvement last night. But as it turned out, he had nothing to fear: he was so tired that he was now dozing serenely into a plate of scrambled eggs.

Rosie looked up from the Daily Prophet as Peter sat down across from her. "Oh, hey," she said. She had been hoping to see Remus with him, of course. But no such luck. "Where's Remus?"

"No idea, I just woke up," Pete grumbled. "I feel like my head could explode right about now, though."

He grabbed the coffee pot from in front of some third-years and poured a generous amount into his mug, accidentally sloshing some into his empty cereal bowl. Rosie giggled as he looked at it in dismay before muttering, "Oh, what the hell," and pouring himself a whole bowlful. He gulped that down as well as the coffee in his mug.

Rosie chuckled. "Late night?" she asked casually, remembering the lie about staying up to take care of Remus.

"Yeah," Pete coughed, almost choking up his coffee. "We, uh, stayed up all night with Moony."

Moony, Rosie realized with a shock, and almost burst out laughing. She caught herself in the nick of time. "Oh, duh!" she exclaimed, slapping a hand on her forehead exaggeratedly. "Remus must still be sick in bed!"

"Uh, actually he should be better today. He was, um, getting better when I fell asleep a few hours ago," Peter improvised.

Figures, Rosie thought. He would be getting better, now that the full moon has passed.

Peter looked around uneasily for James, Sirius, or even Remus himself to save him from getting tangled in his own web of lies, but there was no one there. There wasn't even Lily to distract Rosie while Peter smoothly changed the subject. But oh well, Pete would just have to make do and fend for himself, for a change.

"So…uh…where are James and Sirius? And Lily?" he asked her.

"I don't know," Rosie answered honestly. "I haven't seen anyone but Lily all morning, and she was supposed to meet me down here a while ago. Maybe she just got tired of waiting."

"I'd sure like to know where Sirius has been," Pete grumbled, feeling aches and sore body parts all over.

Rosie glanced at him curiously. "Why? Wasn't he with you guys all night? You just saw him, then!"

Pete was about to say, no, I haven't seen him since yesterday at dinner. Instead, he coughed again. "No, I fell asleep, remember? They were all gone already when I woke up."

Rosie looked around the room worriedly. She had had no experience with the whole werewolf thing, and she needed to make sure Remus was alright. And the only people who could tell her what she needed to know were the ones who couldn't know she was involved.

"After last night, I'd say it was that stag who needed your help the most."

Rosie sighed, and turned back to her orange juice. She shoved her sudden fear to the back of her mind, where it belonged. It was unreasonable, it was irrational. He was still Remus, no matter how long she sat here in fear that he wasn't.

She needed to get back to the dormitory, to find him and tell him what she saw, if he didn't already know. They needed to get it out into the open, if their relationship was ever to survive.

Knowing this didn't make it any easier for her to do.

They lay there on the ground, tangled in a heap, gasping for a long time. They could hardly believe what had just happened.

Sirius was the first to get up, and immediately he scoured earth and sky for a redheaded girl riding a state-of-the-art Comet 220. He saw nothing.

"Sorry, Prongs," he said to the lump of robes at his feet that was James, sounding sincerely apologetic indeed. After all, this whole mess kind of was his fault…a little. "I think she's gone, mate," he sighed, and braced himself. James had already scared the living stuffing out of him when he had been mad about Moony this morning. Sirius didn't particularly want to go through it again.

James rolled over to eye Sirius from the ground. "Gone where?" he asked vehemently. "She can't just run away from Hogwarts! Where else could she go?" He shoved himself up off of the ground angrily. "And how're we going to explain to McGonagall why her star pupil and House prefect has suddenly decided to fly the coop?"

Sirius cringed as James's voice rose to the edge of hysteria, then fell into indiscernible mumbling, and back again. Students that were beginning to descend the steps outside and come across the grounds for class stared at them curiously.

"Prongs…" Sirius began cautiously.

James had been in a mumbling phase. Now his head snapped up at the sound of Sirius's voice, and his eyes widened as if he had not known Sirius was there before.

"You!" he exclaimed. His eyes burned as he advanced on him. "It's all your fault! Lily was running away from you!"

"That's not true, we were both chasing her—" Sirius began to protest but was almost literally bowled over by a crazed James.

"It was you who started this whole thing, Padfoot, everything would've been fine if you hadn't gone after Rachel, if you had just done—done what, er, what you were supposed to be doing last night!" James was talking himself into a frenzy.

"Er—" Sirius couldn't get a word in edgewise.

"If it weren't for you, me and Lily would still be fine. Actually, we would still be great! I was doing wonderful for myself until you just had to do something to mess it up. What, you couldn't stand my happiness without causing a little or a lot of trouble? Thanks a lot, Pad!"

"Hey!" Sirius finally roared over his friend's incessant ranting. "Don't pretend like you were the innocent victim in this! I didn't do anything on purpose to mess things up for you!"

"Oh, really?" James snorted in disbelief. "Well, then it's an awful odd coincidence that that's exactly what's happened, once again! It's always like this, have you noticed that? You never do anything on purpose. You never mean to mess things up for me. But somehow, it always happens. It always happens to me, Pad!"

"That is totally unfair and you know it," Sirius yelled, indignant for the first time. "You were as happy as any one of us when I told you this morning! You can't deny it. It was only after Lily, oh, your precious Lily, disagreed did you suddenly have a miraculous change of heart as well!"

His voice was sarcastic, clipped, and yet he meant every word he said. It was such a change from how earnestly he usually spoke, and always with a touch of humor in his words. No such sense of humor now.

James bristled. "You of all people, Pad, should know how I am about my 'precious Lily,'" he grumbled. "She's right, you know. Has it never occurred to you how she might see things differently than you or me? Or have you just not understood the concept of working at a relationship?"

It was Sirius's turn to bristle. "If a relationship needs sorting out it just means it was never meant to be," he said loftily. He looked James in the eye, no longer afraid but just angry. "It just means it'll never work."

James opened his mouth to respond, eyes narrowed at Sirius. "Now what's that supposed to—"

Sirius cut him off briskly. "Nothing. Only that you should rethink how big a deal this really is before you go around yelling at random best mates about such little things."

"How big a deal?" James asked incredulously. "Such little things?"

He waved an arm above his head wildly, indicating the sky and the forest and beyond. "She's gone, Padfoot. We made her go insane, and she ran away, and now she's Accio-ed herself a broom and is riding rampant in the English countryside!" he exclaimed dramatically. "How is that NOT a big deal?!"

James turned on his heel and began to walk back to the castle, the curious eyes of nosy students following his movement. They wanted to know what the gossip of the moment was, why the famous Potter/Black duo was having a row. James himself could feel the heat of their gazes upon his back, and wished for nothing more than to escape them and plop himself down in front of the common room fire. After all, the fatigue was really getting to him now. He started to head towards the castle with that goal in mind.

Sirius hurried to catch up. "Okay, so it's a bit of a problem," he admitted. "But it's not your fault, Prongs, and there's nothing you can do about it. So just stop beating yourself up about it!"

Without looking back, James shouted over his shoulder to him with finality, "You're right, it's not my fault. It's yours!"

"Wake up…wake up! Look at what you're doing, this is disgusting!"

Remus jerked awake as a boisterous second-year elbowed him in the ribs. He blinked the crumbs out of his eyelashes and raised his head slightly off of the table to examine, with crossed eyes, exactly what he had been sleeping face-down in.

A plateful of scrambled eggs, with the remains of an English muffin on the side. Lucky for him it wasn't hot cereal.

Wiping his entire face in a napkin, much to the amusement of the younger students seated next to him, Remus yawned before a slight movement in the corner of his eye yanked him back to full attention. He twisted his head around to see Rosie rising from her seat at the other end of the Gryffindor table. Quickly ducking his head back into his plate, he avoided her eye but had no way of telling whether or not she had seen him.

After a painful twenty seconds he raised his head a fraction of an inch. She was nowhere to be seen, and the Great Hall's double doors were swinging. She hadn't seen him.

"You can't hide from her forever, you know," his voice scolded again.

Remus groaned. He knew. But it didn't make it any easier for him to face up to her today.

She would probably be heading back to the dormitory to get her books and supplies together for class. Remus stood up, a fifteen-year-old boy towering ridiculously above his first-year neighbors, and wiped his face again with his napkin before bolting out of the Hall and up the marble staircase toward Gryffindor tower.

"Gobbledegook," he told the Fat Lady, and she swung open for her. As he reached the Gryffindor common room, Remus remembered for the first time what had already happened that morning.

He wondered fleetingly how much success James and Sirius were having with Lily. If he had half as much success with Rosie, he hoped, he would be grateful.

He should've known Lily better.

But the only girl who was important at the moment, Rosie, was spotted halfway across the common room, headed toward the entrance to the boys' dormitory. A warm surge of hope washed through Remus as he realized that she was going to look for him. She still cared enough to try. She still wanted to work at their relationship.

This gave him the confidence he needed. Covering the distance between them in four long, confident bounds, he confidently snuck up behind Rosie and confidently slipped his arms around her. He supposed (quite confidently) that if she was still okay with him, they should pretend last night had never happened.

"Guess who?" he whispered.

Rosie could sense the warmth of his calming presence before she even felt it. Her nerves, still forced to heightened alertness by the sudden rush of yesterday's events, screamed in yearning and yet she was not totally surprised by it. "Guess who?" he whispered in her ear.

She wriggled in his grip as a shiver tingled down her spine. "Moony…?" The word was as quiet as a breath, but his arms tightened and his touch burned like a brand into her waist.

"Yeah, Moony, that's me," Remus sighed. "But I guess you already know that now." Rosie turned her head to look at him inquisitively, surprised and a little hurt at his weary tone.

It took all of Remus's self-control to restrain himself from kissing her, standing there, safe in his arms but so vulnerable at the same time. She was looking to him with dependence. It was their time, and it seemed like the whole world was watching through her eyes. What would he do?

"Come on, we have to talk," he muttered, pulling her over to the couch nearest the fire, roaring even while the autumn leaves had barely begun to fall outside. He cringed at the lameness of his own response but Rosie didn't notice.

If anything, she was relieved that he had brought it up first. It meant he felt the same way she did. They needed to talk about it, so that life could go on as normal afterwards.

Or at least until the next full moon, Remus thought bitterly. Then we'll have to do this all over again, and again, and again, every month. This girl had better be worth spending a lifetime with, because I doubt I'll ever find another one willing to accept my secret.

It was like Rosie could hear his thoughts without him even having to articulate them. The way he had tightened his grip when he needed her to understand him, without question, said everything. But in turn, did he understand her?

"I want to thank you for…last night," he began seriously, drawing a deep and painful breath. "What you did—you don't know how much it means to me, and to everyone else. To people you don't even know about. That stag…he was very important to me."

Rosie placed a small hand on his chest to stop him. "You don't have to thank me," she whispered, tears springing to her eyes. "I just did what I had to. You—you don't mean to…to do the things you do, do you?"

Remus shook his head sadly. "No, when I change, I, I can't think like a normal person. Bloodlust is something no human can understand without experiencing it as an animal, Ro. Although I always feel really bad the morning after, but today's been the worst. Usually James and Sirius—"

He coughed, and awkward silence descended for the first time. "James and Sirius?" Rosie prodded.

"They're there to support me," he finished lamely.

When her face contorted in anger, he was afraid. Why was she angry? "So why were they not there to support you this time, then?" she asked vehemently. "That's what good mates do, isn't it?"

"I guess," Remus mumbled in a non-committal way. "But don't blame them. This is my problem, and in the end I'm the one who's got to face it."

The tears that had been welling up in Rosie's eyes finally spilled over. "Oh, Remus…" She was at a loss for words. "I'll…I'll do anything I can, to help you!" She swallowed the lump of emotion in her throat, and her expression grew serious despite the tears still wet on her cheeks. "But you need to tell me everything."

"Everything? What is there to tell?" Remus asked, with an uneasy feeling growing steadily in the pit of his stomach.

"Well, who is the stag? Why is he so important to you? I saved him from you last night, Remus! I think I deserve to know…"

Remus swallowed nervously. "I can't tell you that, Ro…the stag would get really mad if I did. Although I can assure you that he's grateful beyond expression at the favor you did him last night." He brushed some stray hair off of Rosie's forehead and smiled wryly. "He told me so himself."

Rosie laughed despite her dismay. What could be so important about the stag that Remus, who had told her his deepest darkest secret, could not reveal it? "You talked to a stag, Remus?"

"He's not a stag most of the time, Ro. He's a human, like me. I talk to him when he's human."

"Do I know him?" Rosie asked.

"You'll know when he chooses to tell you. I'll try to convince him as quick as I can," Remus answered, shrugging. "Meanwhile…are you planning on going to class?"

Rosie laughed. "Why should I? It's Friday. I've just had the most tiring 24 hours of my life, and I haven't gone to class in just that long. Let's stay in here. You don't look like you're up for class, anyhow. And with a night like the one you had last night, who could blame you?"

She didn't feel like dwelling on the mysterious stag when she could be doing and thinking of happier things. The night of the full moon was over, the stress was behind them, and finally, everything seemed to be settling down.

Remus chuckled. "Sounds good to me," he declared as he dropped down to the floor, stretching out on the rug in front of the fire with his back leaning against the couch. Rosie absentmindedly did the same to end up seated next to him.

Everything seemed to be settling down, except…Lily. And Rachel. But that thought was shoved far back into the deep dark corners of her mind as Remus reached out and cupped the side of her face with his hand. He leaned forward, a werewolf by night but as normal as you could please by day. Rosie twined her own fingers into his sand-colored hair as his tired eyes closed, and their tentative lips met in a kiss that rivaled Sirius's best ones in passion. What they lacked in confidence, the two could certainly make up in love. And that was all that mattered.

"I think I like you a lot," Remus whispered.

Rosie laughed. "I know," she informed him with a kiss on the nose. "But I like you more."

"No, I'm pretty sure I like you more than you like me," Remus sighed.

"I'll like you however much you want me to like you, Moony. But one thing's for sure…" Rosie whispered matter-of-factly, "I like you a lot more than you like yourself."

"That just might be true."

Rosie had always been somewhat of a romantic, but as she sat on Remus Lupin's lap on the rug in front of the fire and evaluated what the hell was happening to her, even she had to suppress the urge to laugh. The hero and the heroine had succeeded in getting together in the sappiest way imaginable, under the most trying of circumstances. Did that mean this was the end of the story?

Surely not, she thought as they came up for breath and she relaxed. Remus's hand was meandering its way up her leg, and she could feel its large warmth through her jeans.

She shivered again, and Remus wrapped her tighter in his arms. "Are you cold?" he mumbled onto her lips, trying to scoot closer to the fire but succeeding only to displace Rosie painfully on his lap.

He blushed as Rosie squealed in surprise and toppled over, her head missing the corner of the couch by only a few inches. "Oh my god! Are you alright?"

Laughing, she righted herself and pulled her entire body over so that she was once again sitting next to him. He gave her a small apologetic peck on the lips, and once again, where his skin touched hers a fire leapt forth through her blood, coursing down her veins and heating up all of her body parts unbearably. There was no outlet for this new zeal but to latch lips once more.

There was no aggression, and no hurry. Remus and Rosie had all the time in the world, and they were supposed to be with each other. Sirius and Rachel might've been damned and forbidden, Remus thought, but this is just perfect.

As if she had heard his thoughts yet again, Rosie stopped for a moment. "Hey, where are James and Sirius?"

Remus laughed. "Why? You want them sitting here next to us, cheering us on? Because I'm sure they'd be happy to do it."

"No, silly, I just thought of something I should warn them about before Lily finds them—particularly James. I think their relationship might be facing some hard times soon."

Remus was not alarmed. It was not a thing of concern for Lily and James's relationship to be facing hard times. After all, it had been that way for five years, minus the last two months.

"She hasn't been having the best morning," Rosie explained. "See, there's been a rumor about Sirius…having a brief relationship with someone Lily doesn't really care for." Rosie tried to choose her words carefully but cringed as Remus's eyes widened in understanding.

"Wait, Sirius and Rachel?" Remus gasped as Rosie nodded, bemused. "How did Lily find out about that already?"

Rosie frowned. "How could she not, what with Rachel bragging and rubbing it in her face every which way?" Remus smacked his forehead in despair as Rosie's frown deepened. "But how do you know about this?"

"Sirius broke the news to James and me this morning. They went before breakfast to look for Lily so they could explain themselves."

"She was really upset," Rosie said apprehensively.

"My mates don't do well with upset girls," Remus groaned.

They looked at each other, all thoughts of snogging forgotten. Then, from far off on the other side of the portrait hole, a racket of raised voices was heard. "Uh oh," Remus and Rosie said simultaneously as the portrait door slammed open, admitting two figures. Everyone was supposed to be in class by now, so who else could it be? The two were still arguing so loud that Remus thought Dumbledore, up in his office, could probably hear them.

"How many times do I have to tell you that this isn't about us, Padfoot! Why do you keep thinking that everything is about you?" James shouted, stomping his foot in frustration. "This is about Lily!"

"This is about me. You're just trying to make it all my fault so it'll divert her attention away from the fact that you were on my side this morning!" Sirius returned just as angrily. "You have to work so hard to bring yourself to believe your best mate's good intentions, but the word of Lily Evans is holy?" he scoffed. "What's happened to you, Prongs? What's happened to us?"

Rosie and Remus were still cowering in the corner, where neither boy seemed to have noticed them. Remus gripped her tight, unnerved. Padfoot and Prongs having a row? Never in the history of the Marauders was there such a thing. It shook at the very foundations of life.

"Nothing's happened to me," James huffed. "Nothing's happened to us. The only thing I'm concerned about at the moment is Lily, and I can't think of anything to do to help this damn situation because you're hindering my train of thought! Just shut up about 'us', please!"

"This is exactly my point," Sirius replied coldly. "If you're so concerned about Lily, if you think getting your girl is more important than keeping your best mate, that's fine. Lily will always come first in your eyes, is that it?"

Rosie realized that there was something wrong with this. She leaned over to whisper in Remus's ear. "Where is Lily?" Remus frowned as he, too, realized that Lily was nowhere to be seen.

"That's right," said James matter-of-factly. Sirius, who had not been expecting such a reply, looked more hurt than Rosie had ever seen him before. "She's my girl now, Pad…or she was before you messed things up, once again! And you wonder why I'm so angry," he grumbled.

"She's just a girl, Prongs!" Sirius exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. "I know what's more important, a girl or a best mate. I act upon this knowledge. I have my priorities straight. Do you?" he spat.

"What kind of priorities are those, Sirius? Snog and run? Having a go in the Room of Requirement for the sake of a House war while your best mates need you?"

Sirius shook his head. "I already said I was sorry for that, Prongs. You forgave me this morning, when I explained that I did it for you." It wasn't entirely true, but it gave Sirius the satisfaction to see his words cut James. He decided to leave while he still had the upper hand.

"Wait, Padfoot—"

"I think this friendship is pretty much done for, mate," Sirius said coldly. And with a swirl of robes, he was out through the portrait hole again. His steps echoed through the halls to the beat of his own frantic thoughts.

James stood helplessly in the common room, alone. If he had looked more closely at the corner by the fire, he would've seen two bodies crouched, hiding, underneath the table. But he had no patience for things like sight. He had just lost his girl, and his best mate. What would he do now? He headed up the stairs to the boys' dormitory.

Cautiously, Remus and Rosie crept out from their hiding place, still gaping. They couldn't believe their eyes. While they had been too preoccupied with their own endeavors, the world had changed.

Where was Lily? What had happened to James and Sirius? Why were they fighting? Some of the Gryffindor fifths had a lot of explaining to do, but just now there was no one who was willing to explain.

A/N: Ahhhgh, bring on the angst! ;) So did you like it? Please review and let me know! Thanks to those who have reviewed so far, I really appreciate it.