All songs can be found on my blog: drotuno. blogspot. com (without spaces) and as always...SM owns everything.

CHAPTER 10

BELLA

Sitting in class the next day was torture. My imagination was running wild. I didn't know if it was stress from the situation with Jake, the uncertainty of Victoria, or the new level of intimacy between Edward and me. I didn't have a clue as to what the instructor was discussing. My mind was everywhere. My train of thought would skip from one issue to the next. I was completely on edge.

I couldn't even look out the window. Instead, I watched the same few girls whisper about Edward in a constant drone. They whispered about how hot he was, his hair, his mouth...what they would do to him. I had an unbelievable desire to rip their hair out or run outside and take him out of their sight. I didn't know which one I wanted more. Jealousy racked my body and mind.

I ran a frustrated hand through my hair, trying to let it go. I wondered if they were being just loud enough that I could hear them on purpose. I folded my arms across my chest and leaned back in my seat. My phone went off.

E: Do you have any idea how beautiful you are when you're angry?

I tried not to smile. Rolling my eyes, I shook my head. I looked out the window to see him sitting on the same bench as usual. His elbows were on his knees, and he was looking up at me. My favorite smile crept across his face as he looked at me.

I was just about to text him back, but then I saw him look down at his phone and frown. He answered it, and I watched as he paced around the courtyard. I knew something was wrong when he pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

Class let out, and I hurried over to him.

He hung up the phone, saying, "Thank you, Alice." When he turned to look at me, there was a worried expression on his beautiful face.

"What's wrong?" I asked as he took my hand.

Edward studied my face for just a moment and replied, "I would prefer if you didn't go to work today. Alice just called."

"Why?" I asked, thinking that the news couldn't possibly be good.

"Alice was just at your house. She was going to clear it with Charlie for you to spend the weekend with her – well, me – but when she went in, Victoria had been there." The last sentence came out through his gritted teeth.

I started to panic. "What about Charlie? Tell me he was at work!"

"Charlie's fine, love. Alice already talked to him." Edward cupped my face, gently rubbing my cheeks with his thumbs. "I won't let anything happen. I promise."

I just nodded, taking out my phone to call Miss Gail. I told her I wasn't feeling well and that I would call her on Tuesday to let her know how I was. I hated lying to her, but there wasn't much I could do about it.

Edward led me to the car, and we headed home. I didn't say much on the way back to his house. There was so much going through my head. If I'd thought I was on edge before, then this just put my nerves over the top.

Alice met us at the door. "Edward, Victoria is weighing two options. She keeps going back and forth from Bella's house to her work." I knew that she was only saying this for my benefit. Edward could see everything that Alice saw.

I gasped. "Miss Gail? Charlie?" Victoria was targeting people in my life now. She just couldn't decide which one she wanted to go after first. Which one would she choose? Would it be my father? Or would it be the sweet, quirky old lady I worked for? Neither deserved the fate that Victoria would bring down on them.

I think I had started to shake because a fair amount of cool hands reached for me. The first face I saw was Esme's.

"Bella, come sit down before you fall." She guided me to the couch between her and Rose. "We won't let anything happen to either of them," she said, lightly rubbing my arm. She was trying to keep me calm.

Jasper spoke up then. "I think we should split up and keep watch on both of them. We may have a better way of catching her. Alice can stay here with Bella, and if Victoria makes her decision, she can call us."

Edward was pacing, thinking. "I agree. Emmett can come with me to the book store."

Emmett simply nodded in Edward's direction. His muscles were already flexing. He was ready for a fight.

"Yes," Carlisle started, "and Jasper and I can take Charlie's. I'll call Sam and have him prepared in case she runs through their territory." With that, he got up, dialing his phone.

Edward came over and knelt down in front of me. "Love, we'll take care of them. I won't be far, and Alice will let us know which way she decides. I promise to be back as soon as I can." He looked over at Alice, who was nodding furiously.

I nodded, and Esme hugged me closer to her. Edward kissed my hands and then my head. I watched as they all walked out.

"Sweet!" Alice exclaimed. "Girls night!" She jumped up and was out of the room before I could blink.

Rose and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes. I couldn't help but snicker. "Only Alice would find the silver lining in this cloud," I said, rubbing my eyes. They had been threatening to tear up when I watched Edward walk out the door.

"Oh Bella," Rose said, "you have no idea. She's a force of nature, that one." We all laughed.

Time crawled for me, even after Alice came back down the stairs with a huge box in her hands.

"Pajama party," she replied simply to my look. She dumped out the box, and my mouth fell open. She had movies, nail polish, board games, card games. It was straight out of a television show.

Alice made us all go change and meet back down in the living room. I decided to take a shower while I was in Edward's bathroom. I got dressed in pajama pants and a tank top and went to join the rest of them.

Esme had popped popcorn for me, and we put in movies while Alice painted everyone's toenails. It would have been funny if I wasn't so worried about everyone. I was silently hating that they were doing all of this. It was all my fault. I was hating feeling vulnerable, weak.

The first movie we watched was Clueless. I think that Alice and Rose had that one memorized. I wasn't into the whole fashion thing, but the movie had its moments.

They tried to get me to watch Pretty Woman, but I put my foot down. That was one of Renee's favorite movies. I'd been subjected to it too many times. I was well aware that the lead character's name was Edward. I also had no desire to sit through the piano scene with this group of women.

I think they knew what I was thinking because Rose started giggling and said, "Come on, Bells, you can't tell me you haven't thought about Edward's piano."

Esme added, "He probably has."

The girls busted into hysterics. I groaned at the thought and put my face in my hands. I didn't know what was worse: the fact that not only had I thought about the piano and had already made out with Edward on the bench the week before, or that they thought about this stuff.

I felt the blush creep up my face, but I glared at Alice, daring her to mention anything about the week before. She was feigning innocence, ignoring my look of warning. Just as I was about to say something to her, Alice's face went blank.

"Alice? What do you see?" I asked quickly, and we all looked at her.

She sat there for only a moment, but it felt like hours. "Charlie's," she whispered. "She's going to Charlie's." She quickly picked up her phone and dialed. "Jazz, she's coming to you." She listened for a moment. "Okay, I'll call them." She hung up and dialed again. "Edward, she's going to Charlie's, and Jasper wants you to head his way."

The room was quiet for a minute. The worry that I had forgotten came crashing back. I allowed Alice to drag me back to the fun we were having, but I wasn't as into it as I had been earlier.

They put another movie in, but I honestly couldn't say what it was. My mind kept drifting back to Edward and Charlie. I didn't know what I would do if something happened to either of them. It hurt just to think about.

When the last movie was over, I told everyone good night and headed to Edward's room. I wasn't tired enough for sleep, but I wanted to be alone. I lay in bed, hugging Edward's pillow and breathing in the smell of him. It made me feel a little better.

I must have fallen asleep at some point. The next thing I realized was that I was not alone in the bed. Cool, strong arms were wrapped around me, and the scent that I'd fallen asleep to was all around me, stronger. I rolled over and breathed in the sweetness of his neck.

He had only been gone hours, but I had missed him like mad. I opened my eyes, and the moonlight shining in the windows highlighted Edward's perfect face.

He smiled down at me and whispered, "Hey, sweet girl. I didn't mean to wake you." He kissed the tip of my nose and brushed the hair from my face.

I reached up and ran my hand up the side of his neck to his hair, bringing his head closer. I kissed his lips softly. "I missed you," I whispered back. I rested my hand on his face, rubbing his cheek with my thumb. I got lost in his eyes, and it felt like coming home.

"And I missed you," he said, smiling. "You should sleep."

"No, Edward," I protested. "Tell me what happened."

"She tried to get to Charlie's, but she got away. Again." His voice was tight with anger. "We even surrounded her. I have no idea how's she's doing it." He shook his head slightly. "The wolves tracked her, but her trail stopped. Carlisle thinks that someone picked her up in a car."

"What happens now?" I asked.

"Nothing changes, love. We'll keep at it. She's bound to make a mistake," he replied.

I curled up close to him and listened to his breathing. Once he started humming, I felt myself relax and drift off.

~oOo~

EDWARD

Bella was lying across my bed, on her stomach with her laptop open in front of her, when I came back with her breakfast. She was heartbreakingly beautiful. She was wearing khaki shorts and a navy blue T-shirt, and her legs were bent at the knee behind her, feet in the air. It was her legs that I couldn't take my eyes off of while walking through the room.

She heard me behind her and smiled her sweet smile at me. I couldn't help but smile back.

"I was just answering emails from Renee and Angela. They both said to tell you hello," she said, reaching out to the tray I had set next to her.

"You told them I was back?" I asked, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

She nodded, taking a sip from her mug and picking up a muffin. "Yes. Renee is like Charlie – concerned. However, Angela was over-the-top happy," she said, rolling her eyes. "I think that's because she's getting married soon. She probably believes that everyone should be in love."

I watched her for a moment, agreeing with Angela. My feelings for Bella were stronger now than they ever were. I traced a finger up the back of her thigh. "I have to agree with Angela," I mused, still looking at my angel's legs and hearing her heart pick up. "Love is a feeling that is so strong, you want the whole world to share it."

I watched as her breathing picked up when my finger reached the edge of her shorts. She started to roll over to face me, but I stopped her. "Wait, don't move."

She stayed on her stomach, and the skin of her upper thigh was calling me. I bent down and lightly kissed the back of her thigh, letting my tongue relish in the taste of her.

I rolled her over and settled myself over her. "Sorry," I said, smiling, "I've wanted to do that since I walked in and saw you lying here."

Her eyes were darker with desire, but her mouth curled into a wicked smile.

I was just about to kiss her, when Emmett's thoughts invaded my mind. Come on, Eddie. You can play with Bella later! HA! Let's play some football. Even Carlisle is playing.

I sighed. "The guys want to play football. Do you want to come watch?" I smiled at my brother's taunting in my head.

"Yeah, Alice already told me," she said, smiling. "She told me that it was warmer outside than normal, but not sunny. Hence the shorts she gave me."

I looked at Bella as we stood up. The shorts hugged her perfect hips and bottom. God, I loved my sister.

You're welcome, Alice thought. Now, let's go.

We all piled into two cars and made our way to the field that we played baseball on. I had to carry Bella as usual, but we were there in no time.

~oOo~

BELLA

The guys wanted to play a game of two-on-two first: Edward and Jasper versus Emmett and Carlisle. Esme, Alice, and Rose came to sit next to me on the sideline.

The guys all worked out their rules of the game. I was shocked that tackling was allowed – that is, if you could catch someone. Edward and Jasper were driving the ball to my left, Emmett and Carlisle to my right. Trees were out of bounds, and the end zones were marked. There were no field goals in this game, but there were kick offs.

"I don't know why they even discuss rules," Esme murmured to me. "At the end of the day, they'll all be trying to kill each other."

I giggled. After hanging out with the pack in La Push, I knew full well what a game of pick up touch football could turn into. Testosterone always took over, and touch football always became tackle. Inevitably, someone would always get pissed off, but it was hysterical to watch.

Jasper and Edward decided to strip themselves of their shirts, so it was going to be a skins against shirts game. They both were left wearing low jeans – Edward in dark, and Jasper in light. I heard Alice moan at my side and saw her look at me.

"That's for our benefit – yours and mine – I'll have you know," she said, snickering. I joined her laughter when she continued, "Neither one have any shame."

"That's not fair," I heard Rose mutter under her breath, and we all started laughing.

Emmett heard her and yelled across the field, "Sorry, Rosie. Do you want me to strip for you now?"

All of us yelled, "No!"

Poor Emmett's face fell in disappointment.

A coin toss decided who would kick off and receive. Emmett lost and then moved to the end zone and punted. I had never seen a ball go so high or far in my life. It surprised me that it wasn't deflated.

Edward caught the ball at the other end of the field and was off like a shot. Carlisle and Emmett both tried to tackle him, but he swerved and spun just in time and was at the other end zone in a flash, laughing. He was beauty in motion, jogging back to the other end where Jasper was waiting to punt the ball. His muscles were taut under his light skin. I suppressed a groan.

Everyone heard Emmett complaining. "It's not fair playing with him...always picking at my brain. Hell, even I don't know what I'm thinking half the time." We all were laughing at him, but he took it with a smile and got ready for the next play.

Jasper kicked off, and Carlisle caught it. I jumped at the sound of Emmett tackling Jasper, opening the way for Carlisle, but Edward was too fast, and they collided in front of us. It sounded like two boulders smashing together. They both got up laughing.

I turned to Esme and asked, "Won't people hear the noise?" I tried not to stare at Edward's butt when he was getting up, but it was impossible. He saw it and winked at me, smiling.

She shook her head and replied, "No, there's construction on the highway not far from here so the sounds will be covered up."

Carlisle eventually scored. However, Jasper and Edward scored twice before the trash talking really took off. Esme finally put a stop to it, calling the guys over.

"We want in the next game," she said, and Alice and Rose were nodding.

"Okay," Edward said, "then I'll play all-time quarterback and not take sides."

They split up again: Carlisle, Jasper, and Esme on one team, and Emmett, Rose, and Alice on another. Edward played quarterback for both sides, keeping things even.

Alice, like Edward, was impossible to catch. She knew what someone was going to do and was extremely fast. Rose, on the other hand, played ruthlessly and had no problem tackling anyone. No one wanted to tackle Esme until she took everyone by surprise and caught Emmett square in the chest.

I took advantage of no one around me and openly ogled Edward. His back muscles would flex in a dangerous way every time he threw the ball. His jeans rode low on his hips, and my eyes were drawn to the vee of his abs, just above his waistband.

I knew that I had to be careful. Jasper could feel everything I was feeling, and I didn't need that. As if they'd heard my thoughts, they both looked up at me, grinning. Damn. I tried to find the grass in my hands extremely interesting, but I knew it was too late. Then I decided...if he could stare at my legs while I was lying on his bed, then I could ogle his chest while he was playing football.

I looked back up, and Jasper nodded and winked at me. He must have felt the determination I was feeling. Edward raised an eyebrow at me, and feeling brave – thanks to Jasper, I was sure – I blew him a kiss. I had to laugh when his mouth fell open in shock.

When the sun started to go down, Edward came and fell at my side. "Hey, beautiful." His voice was like velvet. "Are you about ready to go?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm starving," I said, taking a last, longing look at him as he put his shirt back on.

~oOo~

After I ate and showered, I thought I'd better start on one of my assignments. Edward was lazily picking at his guitar on the couch. It was a comforting sound...easy to relax to.

When he stopped playing, I looked up from my laptop. He was staring at me like he had a question. I decided to let him take his time. It was a moment before he spoke. "Have you thought about taking more classes?" he asked curiously.

I wasn't sure where this was coming from, but I replied, "Yes, sure, but since I'm paying my own way, I can only do a few credits at a time. Why?"

He shrugged. "I was just curious. At the rate you're going, you'll be thirty before you finish college." I honestly don't think he meant any harm by it because he was chuckling.

But I saw red. Thirty? Was he fucking serious?

I tried like hell to rein in my temper. I'd gotten really good at it since he'd been home, but this was futile. "And where will you be when I am thirty, Edward?" I was seething, but I was under control for the moment.

I saw in his face that he was confused by my reaction. "Right next to you. Did I say something wrong, love?" His brow was arched in surprise.

I was going to explode. I felt it coming, but it was a slow build. I closed my eyes, trying to see which way to explain this. "Do you love me, Edward?" I asked, knowing what the answer would be.

"You know I do," he said. His voice was full of caution. "More than I could possibly tell you. Bella, what's wrong?"

"For how long will you love me?" I asked, knowing the answer to that, too.

"Forever. Always," he said, setting his guitar on its stand.

"Define 'forever,' Edward," I said through clenched teeth. I looked at him; he wasn't saying anything, and he was very still. "Let me clarify for you. Would that be human 'forever,' or vampire 'forever'?"

I watched as realization dawned on him as to why I was upset. "Oh, Bella," he spoke softly. "You don't mean that."

I ignored him and went on with my questions, "Is that by your side as an equal 'forever,' or is it maybe I live to be sixty-five or seventy 'forever'?"

My breathing was ragged. I couldn't even begin to tell him how gross it would be if he still looked seventeen and I was seventy. I don't know why I couldn't stop. I should have been happy with what I had, but my heart was hurting, thinking that he would come back and not consider forever.

He looked like he was about to get up, but I beat him to it. I closed my laptop, set it down, and stood up. My fists were clenched in rage; my braced hand flamed in protest. I was trying not to cry in fury.

"It's not right, love...to make you like me." His voice was small, and he sounded weak at the moment, just adding to my anger.

"Don't," I practically screamed, "because your track record with right and wrong isn't that clean." I'd struck a nerve, and he flinched. We had sworn to each other in our meadow not to bring up his leaving, and here I was, slamming it in his face. "We won't get that fifty human years, Edward. You know that, right?" I didn't wait for an answer. "There's always going to be something. There's always going to be enemies, illnesses, skidding vans...hell, I could trip into oncoming traffic." Every word I was saying was killing him, and I hated myself for not being able to stop.

He started to say something, but I interrupted him. "And don't give me that bullshit about 'following right after me.' I remember that ridiculous conversation...how you 'can't live in a world where I don't exist.' It isn't noble. It's nauseating to think you would do that."

He didn't move. He just looked at me with the saddest expression on his face. "You don't know what you're saying, Bella. It's not worth it. I'm not worth it." I saw it in his face: the truth. He really believed it. He wanted it, but he didn't think himself worthy of it...always the monster in his mind.

"I know exactly what I am saying. I'm not a child," I said, thinking the word anymore tagged onto the end. "I'm quite capable of assessing worth. I can tell you this: whether it's Jacob, Victoria, or a bolt of lightning, I'm not scared. The only thing that scares me is not being with you!" The last sentence came out as a sob, and I hated myself for not holding it together.

Edward started toward me. His instinct to comfort me was overwhelming. I wanted it and didn't want it at the same time. I stepped back from him, shaking my head. He froze.

"I see it in your eyes, Edward. You want it but are afraid to want it. How can you sit there and tell me forever when you have no intention of meaning it? Maybe it's time you stop fucking lying to yourself...and me!" I opened his bedroom door and walked out, slamming it behind me.

I needed air – I wanted to be outside – so I went through the kitchen and out onto the back patio. I sat in a chair by a fire pit, pulling my knees up to my chin and wrapping my arms around my legs. I let the tears flow.

~oOo~

EDWARD

My family's minds were all in shock. Their thoughts flew through the house.

Holy shit!

What the fuck?

Damn, she's pissed!

Dammit, Edward! It's gonna happen. I've seen it.

I sat back down on my couch and put my face in my hands. I wasn't mad at her. I just hadn't been expecting her reaction. I was in shock.

You know, Edward, she's right, I heard from Carlisle's mind.

I looked up and saw he was leaning in my doorway, and I chuckled. "She usually is." I shook my head. "But which part are you talking about?" I asked, looking up into his smiling face.

"All of it, but mostly the reality of you being with her for that long with her a human," he said, sitting down on the edge of my bed across from me. You can't be without each other. She's the mate you have needed for a century. Is she right that you want it?

I nodded and asked, "Why does it feel wrong? It's all I want. One lifetime isn't enough with her. I know that now. After being away from her...I can't get enough now. It's painful to be away from her, even for only a moment." I ran a frustrated hand through my hair.

Edward, I can't think of anything wrong with two people who love each other being together. She's accepted it. She's accepted you. Why can't you?

"I don't know. It just seems wrong to take away her life, her family," I said, looking over at my father.

Can I show you something? he thought, and I nodded. I've had a theory about Bella for some time now. We were walking out of my room and into the bedroom that he shared with Esme. I truly believe she was destined for this family. Look. He pointed out the window.

I looked down, and my whole family was around her, trying to comfort her. There was a fire in the pit, and Emmett was being, well, Emmett...trying to get her to laugh. Esme had her wrapped up in her arms and was whispering to her. Alice and Rose were laughing at Jasper.

See? he thought to me.

I nodded and looked up at him, wondering what the point was.

Edward, our family was scattered all over until you came back to Bella. Once she was in this house, the whole family blended back together – better than ever, I might add. I think that she was supposed to be here from the beginning. She pulls us together, like completing a puzzle. She's what we all need. She completes this family. She completes you.

I thought back to the day that we were in the living room and were all downloading music with Bella. They had all been drawn to her that day, too. It was like they couldn't stay away from her. I also remembered how the wolves all loved her and wanted to protect her.

"I know you're right, but what do I do now?" I asked, terrified of losing her.

Just talk to her. That's all. Form a plan or don't, but you have to understand that she needs to know your intentions. You have my blessing, and I'll help with whatever you need, but you can't deny yourself happiness, son. You do deserve it, despite what you may think. She's right about that, too.

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and patted my back.

She's a handful, that one. You'll never get away with anything with her, he thought, snickering.

"You have no idea," I said, laughing and shaking my head. "Thank you, Carlisle."

"Anytime, son," he said, and his thoughts went on, If she has that much pull as a human, I wonder what will happen if she were one of us...

I shook my head at him, watching him ponder the vampire Bella.

~oOo~

BELLA

I stared at what stars I could see through the clouds. I heard the door open behind me. I don't know who I expected, but it wasn't Jasper. He came out and looked down at me, sympathy on his face. "Do you want to talk about it, Bells?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No, not really. You probably think I'm crazy anyway." I sniffled, wiping away the tears from my face.

"Nope, not at all. He deserves it," he said, laughing. He started to build a fire in the pit, piling logs in the center. "You should be mad at him, but..." He stopped and looked at me. "You're not anymore. You're sad. Why?"

"I said some pretty mean things. I let my temper get the best of me," I explained, looking back up to the stars.

"We all do that, Bells. You're right about him, by the way. He does want it. I just don't know if I would wish this life on anyone," he mused, studying my face.

I didn't say anything. I just listened to the sounds of the night. Once he had the fire going, he sat in a chair across from me. "I think if it were Alice and me in this situation, I would have begged Carlisle ages ago to change her. So I understand the issue. But I would feel like Edward, hating that I wanted it but knowing that I couldn't live without her. I wouldn't choose this life again, but I'm glad I have her at my side. Edward needs you. He's a better person when he's with you," he said, staring into the fire.

I was pretty sure this was the longest conversation he and I had ever had. I was comfortable with Jasper. He wasn't loud like Emmett, or hyper like Alice. I could see us being quiet friends.

I felt Esme's arms around me, and she whispered, "Are you all right?"

I nodded, tears coming down again. I leaned into her, not saying anything, just letting her hold me. It was nice having a mother to tell you everything will be fine. She whispered how much Edward loved me and that things would work out and that Carlisle was talking to him now. I just relished her embrace.

I jumped when Emmett came out with Alice and Rose. "Damn, Bella, that's quite the sailor's mouth you've got!" he bellowed, and I snorted.

I turned to Esme and said, "Sorry about that. I forgot anyone was listening. My temper is hard to control these days." I blushed, ashamed of my actions.

She just squeezed me closer, mumbling what sounded like, "Understandable."

"Boy, Bells, you really laid into him!" Emmett continued, laughing. I couldn't help but laugh with him. His enthusiasm was contagious. He leaned down and whispered, "I hope he changes you... The next time you get that pissed, you can really let him have it!"

"Emmett," Esme warned.

"What?" he asked unabashedly. "It's true. He can't see into her head. She could totally kick his ass!"

I busted out laughing, and everyone joined me. The thought was insane but funny. I would never want to hurt Edward, but Emmett had achieved his goal. He had lightened the mood.

"Yeah, Bella," Jasper started. "You would be super strong for about a year. So tossing his ass out the window would be nothing."

They spent the better part of ten minutes pretending to be me and Edward in a fight. Jasper squealed like a girl as Emmett tossed him around. We were all laughing at them.

Alice hopped up and scooted over to me, squishing me between her and Esme. "I've seen it, you know. It'll all work out, trust me," she whispered, wrapping her arms around me.

I kissed the top of her head, grateful for my best friend.

Rose stayed quiet.

I expected Carlisle when the door opened again, but Edward stood in the doorway. Everyone froze. His face was pensive, but he looked at me and asked, "Can we talk?"

Emmett spoke before me. "Maybe you should give her some time, Edward." I looked up at him, and his face was serious...no longer the joking teddy bear, but an angry giant. He was quite intimidating.

"No, Emmett, it's fine," I said, looking at my hands. I really felt ashamed of the things I'd said. I wasn't ashamed of why I'd said them, but the hurt I'd seen in Edward's face would haunt me. I didn't want any more fighting tonight.

I felt a boost of encouragement and looked up. Jasper winked, grabbing Alice's hand. Emmett shot a warning look at Edward, and he nodded. Edward's eyes flickered to Rose, and he nodded again.

Esme hugged me again and said, "We'll go out for a while and give you some privacy, okay?"

"Okay," was all I could say, and I watched as they all ran out into the woods. For a moment, I wondered where Carlisle was.

As if he really could read my mind, Edward said softly, "Carlisle got called into the hospital." He was still standing at the door but finally came and sat on the ottoman in front of me.

For the first time ever, there was an uncomfortable silence between us, and I hated it. I looked up from my hands to find him staring at me.

"I'm sorry," we both said at the same time, making us both smile.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, love," Edward said, taking my hand in his, playing with my fingers.

"Yeah, I do," I said. "I shouldn't have exploded on you. I've been scared of this conversation for a while. I said some pretty awful things, and I'm really sorry."

"You said things that I wish I was brave enough to," he said, still looking at our hands. "Everything you said was the truth. I just chose to...ignore it for a long time. It seems selfish for me to want you...to take your life away from you just so I can keep you all to myself." He paused for a moment, but he still wasn't looking at me. Personally, it sounded like heaven.

"You don't know how right you are. If you continue to stay...human, there are an untold amount of things that could happen to you, and I can't have that, either. So, I'm divided." He finally looked up at me, and I could see the conflict in his eyes. "I love you so much. So much so that it pains me to be away from you. I want to see everything through your eyes. I want to hear every laugh and every breath you take. I want to know everything that you're thinking every minute of every day. And I always want to be able to reach out and touch you." He reached up and brushed away the tears that were coursing down my face at this point.

"So, what now?" I asked, leaning into his hand.

He was quiet for a moment and said, "I guess I just need you to keep reminding me that I deserve you forever. I look at you and think I'm not worthy of you. You are too beautiful and kind. You are warm and brave. You are strong-willed and sharp-witted. You deserve everything in the world that being with me would take away from you."

I smiled, brushing his unruly hair off of his forehead. "You aren't the monster you think you are, Edward. A monster wouldn't hold me every night or want to hold me even though I'm pissed off," I said, snickering, and he chuckled. "A monster wouldn't guard me all day every day, making sure the real monsters don't get me. And a monster definitely wouldn't make me feel the way I do when I'm with you." I paused, looking at him for a moment. "I know it's not an easy decision for you. I don't expect you to understand how easily I can make this decision. I can't live without you. I've tried, and it hurts too much to even think about. I'm sorry I blew up, but I can't stand the thought of this ending one day. I don't care when you decide; I'm not expecting an answer tomorrow or next week or even next year, but what I want you to know is that if anything does happen to me and you need to make a choice – save me, or let me go – I hope that you save me because heaven sounds awful lonely without you in it."

I was off my chair and in his lap before I could blink. He touched his forehead to mine, closing his eyes. I was engulfed in his smell and his arms. His breath was ragged when he whispered, "How do you always know what I need to hear?" His eyes were still closed, but his hands were lightly rubbing up and down my back.

"You do the same for me," I whispered back. "It's how we've always worked."

He nodded against my forehead. When he opened his eyes, they were black – not from thirst, but from something else. "I want you, forever. I want you to know that. I just..." He paused, but I interrupted him.

"I know, Edward. I do...and I want you to know that I trust you with everything that I have," I said, losing myself in the black depths of his eyes. "Please don't make any promises you aren't ready to keep."

Our lips were so close, we were sharing the same breath. I felt his hands squeeze at my hips, pulling me closer. Our stomachs were touching, we were so close, and I locked my ankles around his waist.

I felt our current of electricity jolt to a higher level. Edward felt it, too, his breath catching and his eyes searching mine. My hands had been resting on his chest, but I moved them to his hair. The kiss started hesitantly; we were barely touching. When I licked my own lip, I could taste his breath on my tongue. My tongue touched his lip, and he crashed into me. It was an all-consuming kiss, and I whimpered into his mouth.

His hands were still on my hips, and they moved down to my bottom, squeezing lightly. I rocked my hips for the friction, and he moaned, breaking away from my mouth. He trailed his tongue down my neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses on the way.

My hands snaked their way to the bottom of his shirt and slipped in. I raked my fingernails down his back and licked the side of his neck, taking his earlobe in my mouth and grazing my teeth against it. I felt his arousal twitch beneath me, and I rocked my hips again. We both moaned.

In his ear, I whispered, "Edward...upstairs, please." It sounded like begging, and I guess, in a way, it was. He pulled back from the juncture of my neck and shoulder, and his lips met mine, standing at the same time.

I'd thought that he would run, but he took the stairs at a human pace, carrying me. One of his hands was holding my bottom, and the other was snaking up the back of my shirt. The kiss never broke, even when he laid us down on the bed.

It was me that broke it when I needed air. He was hovering over me, and his hand was still under my shirt. My hands were working on the buttons of his shirt. We both realized that we were trying to do the same thing. We sat up, pulling off our shirts, and then crashed back down again, a tangle of arms, legs, and lips.

Edward's elbow was at my head, hand in my hair, and his other hand was lightly gliding across my stomach up to my ribs, reaching the edge of my bra. I heard a ripping noise and gasped when I realized that he had just ripped it off me. I looked at his face, and there was a slight smile on it as his eyes traveled downward.

My fingernails dug into his back when I felt his tongue caress my nipple, hardened already by the coolness of his skin. "Mine," I heard him say.

My legs were still around his waist, and I dug my heels into his ass, causing him to buck into me.

"Oh, God!" I gasped at the sensation the friction caused, and Edward moaned against my skin.

I knew what I wanted, but I would have to tell him. I knew Edward, and he would never take the step that I wanted on his own; he was too much the gentleman.

"Edward," I gasped into his shoulder, laving the skin with my tongue, "make love to me, please." I raked my teeth lightly across his collarbone.

His head shot up, our gazes meeting. His chest was heaving with desire. He was beautiful. His brow furrowed as he asked, "Bella, are you sure?" Both his hands were on my stomach, his thumbs making feather-light circles on my skin.

"Yes, please," I whispered, pushing the hair from his face.

"I love you," he breathed just before he crashed his lips back into mine.

It was a hungry kiss, our tongues fighting to explore each other. I pulled his bottom lip into my mouth, biting and sucking it. His hips bucked again, and we moaned, breaking away from each other.

Edward sat up, his eyes hooded and black with want. Trailing his hands to the button of my shorts, his eyes never left mine. He pulled them down, lightly skimming my legs with his fingertips all the way down. He closed his eyes, breathing deep, and whispered, "I have to taste you." His hands were on my thighs, and he traced his fingers toward my inner thigh.

His touch was driving me mad. "Please, Edward," I begged as a wicked smile crept across his face. He was enjoying teasing me.

His hands traveled down my thighs to my knees. Lifting my right leg, he bent and kissed the innermost part of my thigh and then did the same for the left. I felt his cool tongue lick from my heated core up to my apex, flicking my bundle of nerves, and my hips arched up off the bed. He continued to place long, slow, wet kisses, pushing me closer to the edge. He slipped two fingers into my opening and sucked my clit into his mouth.

"Oh, God, Edward," I gasped, and he moaned into me. The vibration sent a jolt through my entire body, causing me to arch my hips off the bed again.

Edward took his mouth from me, replacing it with his thumb. "Come for me, love. Let me see you."

His velvet voice was my undoing, and the coil in my lower muscles sprung, clenching down on his fingers. I called his name like a prayer.

He crawled up my body, placing wet kisses along the way. When he finally met my lips, I pushed him onto his back. I kissed his mouth hard, rubbing my hands down his chest. His muscles were twitching at my touch. I broke from him, trailing my tongue down his chest, circling his nipple. I heard him moan, such an erotic sound to my ears.

I wanted to taste every muscle, every dip in skin. When I got to the button of his jeans, he sat up, taking my face in his hands. "Are you sure, love?" he asked, his face a mixture of want and concern.

All I could do was nod. I wanted him so badly, I was speechless. He watched me unbutton and slide the zipper down. Once he was out of his jeans, he reached over to the drawer by the bed, bringing out a foil wrapper.

With a quickness I could barely see, he opened the wrapper and slid the condom over his length. He hovered back over me, love filling his eyes, and my legs wrapped around him. "It's going to hurt at first," he whispered and positioned himself at my entrance.

I nodded, and he pushed in slowly, breaking through my barrier. A tear rolled down my face – not from the pain, but from the complete feeling of home. It was an overwhelming feeling.

Edward kissed away the tear, sliding in deeper. "I'm sorry. I love you," he whispered over and over.

My breath hitched at the stretched feeling.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I closed my eyes and allowed myself to adjust to the feeling. I nodded and whispered, "You can move. I'm okay."

He pulled back almost all the way and slowly slid back in. We both moaned.

A couple of thrusts, and the pain faded into the background. He kissed me, down the side of my neck to the soft spot behind my ear, whispering how much he loved me, how beautiful I was.

Edward was always beautiful, but nothing beat what his face looked like right that minute. His hair was in eyes, and his mouth was slightly open, saying my name over and over. All his muscles were tight, stretching under his smooth skin. His eyes were the blackest I had ever seen, full of love and desire.

"God, Bella, you're so perfect, so tight," he gasped. "And so warm..."

He slid a hand between us, and when his thumb circled my clit, I felt the coil in my stomach tighten. He kissed my mouth, tracing his tongue over my bottom lip, and I opened to him. I felt all our love spill out in that kiss.

He broke away from me to whisper, "Come with me, love."

I felt myself tumble over the edge and milk him as he came with me, arching his back and growling. He fell to the side, and I barely saw him remove the condom, throwing it in the garbage can next to the bed. He curled me to him, pulling the covers up around us.

He kissed my forehead, asking, "Are you all right?" He looked at my face, trying to read my mind.

I nodded and whispered, "I love you." I snuggled closer to him, kissing his jaw line.

"I love you, too. More than you can imagine," he said. I was almost asleep, and I could have sworn he said, "Forever."