Mediator Pride & Prejudice Alternative Endings by lollirosee

WARNING: This is a totally insane, random ending by Crevssss's friend. If you can't take a joke, or are totally in love with her current story, please don't read this because the writing style is totally different—AND you might get offended if you don't read slash. Plus the whole thing where Lollirose was just randomly typing words onto Microsoft Word when she was writing this.

Disclaimer- I don't own anything from the Mediator series, and some of this may have been taken from Crevs's last chapter (with permission).

ALTERNATE Chapter 9

Monday Morning

Damn. So it's Monday, and that means I'll have to see freaking Paul Slator again. Ugh. It's so romantic how Jesse is soooooo overprotective of me, and how he's making me put him on emergency line on my cell phone, except that it's kind of lame, because I honestly don't think Paul would be likely to sexually-harass me in a public area.

So at lunch break, I moodily grabbed my purse and walked as slowly as I could to the restaurant that Paul had booked a reservation at. Right before I walked in, I did a double check of what clothes I was wearing—didn't want to give Paul the wrong impression, did I? It must have been pretty weird for passersby to see some random girl (supposedly) looking down her black V-neck and checking out her own chest, and realizing how ridiculous I looked, I felt my cheeks redden. Before I did anything even more stupid, I rushed inside the restaurant to find Paul.

He smirked in my direction when he saw me, "For a second, I thought you weren't going to come. Then I'd have to go through all the troubles of finding you and dragging you here myself."

"Ha-ha. That's very funny, Paul."

"So, how are you?" He stood up and pushed me into the seat opposite from him.

"Was doing fine, but I think seeing you has just ruined my day," I said frostily. I was annoyed with him for making me go through this lunch date, after all.

"Ouch. Well, I ordered for you, so I hope you don't mind."

I didn't even bother to reply. I mean, who was he kidding? Nobody orders for someone else unless they're being nice, evil, or know the person too well. Paul has got to have the biggest ego of all the guys I've ever met.

We sat there for a bit, where everything was awkwardly quiet and silent. It was uncomfortable to be with him—something about Paul made think guiltily about Jesse. I fidgeted nervously, not knowing what to do.

"Suze," he said quietly.

"Yea…?" I mumbled absent-mindedly. I was thinking about how absolutely scrumptious Jesse had looked this morning.

"Suze…"

I felt his gaze on me, and I couldn't look at him. Why did Paul have to be so hot? I swear, if it weren't for Jesse, I would have liked to put whipped cream on top of him and swallow him whole, right there in the restaurant.

Instead, I replied, quite irritated, "What?"

Paul suddenly looked very uncomfortable and unsure with himself. He shifted in his seat, suddenly avoiding me. Why did he look so uncomfortable? After what seemed like eternity, Paul grimaced and finally said, "I need to say something to you—about Jesse."

Well duh. That was a surprise. I bet he was going to say all this stuff about how we were meant to be, and that Jesse didn't fit into the equation. "Okay, Paul. Look, I'm sorry, but I'm just in love with Jesse, and I can't help it. I'm sorry that you are badly lusting over me, but you should seriously get over it, because—"

"I'm sexually involved with Jesse," he blurted out.

Oh.

Well, that was a surprise. It was totally unexpected—never in my whole life could I have been prepared to hear that. "WHAT?" I could hear myself shout. Some of the other diners were looking over, but I couldn't care less. "That has got to be the most stupid and least funny joke I've ever heard," I gabbed on nervously, "you can't be sexually involved with a guy—you're Paul Freakin' Slator. You're the hottest guy I've ever seen, and you are totally crazy about me."

Paul shook his head. "Suze, sorry about stealing your boyfriend from you, but I just find him so damn hot! And he thinks the same about me too."

Ooooo. That hurts.

"No, I don't believe you. Paul! Stop being like this, it isn't you!" I was starting to become hysteric, and I could feel myself standing up and tugging at Paul; trying to pull him to me. Without thinking, I pulled his head towards mine and pressed my lips against his, urgent and carnal. It was utterly delicious, and he didn't pull away—at least, not after a few minutes.

"Okay, maybe I'm bi, then," Paul breathed out heavily, panting, before he grabbed for me and we were entwined like two writhing snakes again, needing and desperate. It was lucky that we were seated in a pretty secluded corner of the restaurant, because the next thing that happened was Paul pushing me against the wall, with my legs spread apart, and my clinging onto him, continuously making out the whole time.

Everything was going completely fine—pretty hot and heavy—until Paul decided to moan Jesse's name while embracing me. Instantly, I pushed him away, stammering, "What? How…how can you be in love with…with HIM after this? How can you still want him more than you want me?"

Paul let go of me, and I slid from the wall to the floor. He shrugged, saying, "Sorry, Suze. Looks like it'll just have to be this way."

I refused to believe it. Again, I pulled him to me and kissed him longingly, but this time he didn't react to my passion. "Paul…" I could hear myself whine, "Paul…"

It was just at this moment that Jesse decided to enter the restaurant. Despite the fact that our table was pretty well hidden, he seemed to be able to find us with his sharp eyes in a matter of seconds. If it weren't for the fact that this involved me, I would have said it was completely hilarious—me trying to kiss Paul; Paul pushing away, and Jesse gaping in disbelief.

"Paul! Querida! What…" Jesse exclaimed, "What have you done?" I turned to Jesse, red in the face. Paul just looked away, embarrassed and awkward.

"Jesse, I didn't mean it! Oh, I love you so," I said, "Jesse, I'm still your Querida, aren't I? Oh, please say it!"

Jesse frowned at me. "Susanna! What are you doing here? I came to see my querida, Paul…and saw him kissing…you! My goodness. Have you been cheating on me with my boyfriend?"

I gasped. So it WAS true. Paul and Jesse were gay together. Damn. It was such a waste, when both of them were so awesomely hot.

We spent the whole time arguing, and for some reason, we argued all the way back to my place. Paul was trying to hold Jesse's hands, and Jesse was angrily moving away from Paul. I was trying to plead for the both of them to wake up and realize they weren't gay, but I guess I wasn't very successful.

"Jesse…" Paul moaned.

"No. You," Jesse said loudly to Paul, "cheated on me with Susanna." He pointed angrily at me, saying, "And you, cheated on me with Paul. I can't forgive either of you."

"Oh, so you can just be gay with Paul and forget about me!" I retorted, "You said you loved me!"

Jesse was about to reply when Gina came in. He looked extremely shocked and quickly looked away. Gina frowned. "What's going on?"

"Gina! It's nothing, just Paul and Susanna having an argument again," Jesse said.

"Oh, why don't you just tell the truth?" I snapped, "Gina! Jesse cheated on me with Paul!"

Gina widened her eyes. "You did not just say that," she said shrilly, "you did not." For some reason, what I'd just said seemed to really get into her, and she was shaking angrily.

"It's true. Ask them," I said.

Gina looked at Jesse, and then at Paul. "You bastard!" She screamed, at who I couldn't tell, "You lied to me!"

Okay… Now I was seriously confused. What had Gina to do with all this?

"You were having an affair with me! How can you be gay? What is wrong with you, you…psycho!" Gina shouted loudly. She just started screaming and screaming, and the shrill sound hurt our ears. All of us grimaced and put our hands to our ears protectively.

Suddenly, without warning, Gina pulled a gun from nowhere and shot at Jesse. He stood there, his mouth open in surprise, for five seconds before falling down.

Paul screamed. I've never heard a guy scream—especially not someone like Paul—and it really disturbed me. He ran to where Jesse lay, a dark red pool forming on the floor where the bullet had entered.

"Oh, Jesse! Jesse! Stay focused. Look at me!" he shouted. Jesse had been shot in the stomach, and lay feebly in Paul's arms. I ran to dial 911.

"Paul…" he whispered, "I…"

"Don't speak," Paul cried, "Don't leave me. Please, don't leave me. The ambulance is coming, it's coming. Just wait for it."

"Paul…" Jesse said again, effort apparent in his face, "I want to say… I love you. I love you…more than anything in the world…." The wailing of sirens came closer and closer, but he was starting to fade.

Jesse started to gasp and blood trickled down his wound nonstop. There was just so much blood everywhere. He opened his mouth to speak again, but he could only make hoarse gasping sounds, and soon he closed his eyes. It was then that the medics came running out of the ambulance for Jesse, but by then it was too late. Jesse had died!

END

(A/N: Due to the fact that I've completely ran out of things to write, I guess I'm going to stop here. I know it's totally lame and crappy, but that's too bad. LOL hope no one is offended.)