A/N: Thank you so, so much BBree23, elisemellark (don't worry, if I decide to do it, there will be), TheGirlWithTheSilverTongue (thanks again), SilverLuna, DandelionOnFire (Aww, thank you, feel hugged;). And yup, you figured it out. But it wasn't really that hard;) No, you're not a bad person. It's exactly what I want . It's much funnier this way. Oh, and did I ever tell you I just LOVE your reviews? Especially this one, because my email cut out your curse lol. I don't know why, but I laughed so hard:D I guess I'm weird sometimes…), Meg123, InLoveWithPeeta (though it was a PM, you did give me feedback, so thank you), IwouldKillForaCheeseBun (Yay, you're back ), Charm Chaser (They did come. But it wasn't very important at that point, so I decided to skip it), ohmygawdpeeta (at least you're reading{and liking} it now), Aria-dancingdolphins15 (I don't know where that comes from{with the iPod I mean}and about Gale, don't worry, I wouldn't skip that. To much fun for me;)), Kari (You gave me the idea for that chapter! Thanks!), MissAriannaDark (Thanks), karlee, HungerGamesLover1020, lovetheboywiththebread1, LissaLeePond (thanks, it means a lot to me that you said that. And thanks for your advise), KissPeeta, Teampeetaforever AND NOW A SUPER BIG THANK YOU TO MY 100th REVIEWER Pandora1984 !
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVELY REVIEWS! AND SO MANY! 100 REVIEWS:D
So apparently, I didn't screw the last chapter up. Good. Because when I started writing, I had no idea what to do;)
Well, anyway, since I got so many different answers, I'm just going to leave the rebellion question unanswered till 2012. This way I have more time to think about it. Because I am the one who'd have to write it and it isn't that easy to do. I hope you're not mad at me :)
Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games.
Chapter 10:
It's been one week since I made the promise to myself about getting Peeta's answers. And I didn't come one step closer. Except our night in the forest, of course. But I don't really count it, because this was the day I made the promise.
Peeta came over to watch the games again, but we didn't have these kind of conversations anymore. If I didn't know better, I'd say he wants to avoid them. He wants to avoid my questions.
And then, while I'm already at the topic avoiding, there is something, more like someone else that comes to my mind. Gale. I haven't spoken to him in three weeks and I feel bad about it.
I mean, sure, he has crossed the line. He shouldn't have kissed me. I don't think I have those kind of feelings for him. But he is still my best friend. My hunting partner. The one who has been there for me for years. I won't forget that because of one fight. No matter what he said.
This are the two thinks I think about most often lately.
But for today I decided to do the more important thing out of the two. I decided to make up with Gale.
I don't think this is going to be easy though. Knowing Gale, he is still mad at me. Why else would he be avoiding me?
And there is another problem, too. My stubborness. I don't like saying sorry. Especially if I don't know what I am sorry for. That is what held me back the last weeks.
But I miss him. Hunting isn't the same without Gale. And he is my best friend. We really shouldn't ignore each other forever.
So I make my way to the Hawthrone's house.
When I knock at the door, Hazelle opens. "Katniss." She seems surprised. That makes me feel guilty.
Since I didn't want to talk to Gale, I didn't visit his house and with that, I also didn't visit his family. They're almost like my second family. I'm going to have to make up for that.
"Katniss!" She had gotten over her surprise and hugs me. "I haven't seen you in weeks!"
I smile and hug her back. "I'm sorry. The Hunger Games and hunting…I didn't have much time." That's not exactly a lie, but it isn't the truth either. I mean, I was busy. But if Gale and I hadn't fought I would have come over with Prim, who went here once, to watch the games. I had an excuse though. Mother didn't want to go, she hasn't left the house since the games started, so I stayed, claiming to keep her company.
"I know. It's alright Katniss. I've missed you though." I smile. I really like Hazelle. Sometimes she is more a mother to me then my own is. Well, quite often actually.
"I missed you, too. Um, Hazelle? I don't want to be rude or anything, but is Gale here?" I hope I don't hurt her. This sounds as though I didn't want to talk to her. I do. But at the moment, Gale is more important.
"No, dear, I'm sorry. But when I saw him leave, he said he would go into the woods. And hunt. But I think he wouldn't mind if hid hunting partner joined him, would he?"
Good question. So I assume he hasn't told her. Well, it's not like it told my mother either. So it shouldn't surprise me. But I always thought they had a close realationship where he tells her everything. She didn't fall into depression after her husband died and tried to provide her family, after all. And it is true that her and Gale's relationship is a lot closer than mine with my mother. But then again, he is a boy. Maybe it isn't like that between mothers and sons.
"No, I don't think so." I hug her again and go.
Well, I don't really think he minds. After all, he must have missed me too, right? But I do think he minds that I haven't talked to him sooner. Oh well, it was his fault. If he is upset with me about that, he should have tried to make up with me a few weeks ago. Or better yet, he shouldn't have kissed and insulted me in the first place.
So if I go to him, he will have to apologize.
When I arrive at our meeting place I find him sitting there, obviously deep in thought. What is he thinking about? Me?
"Hi", I say. His head shoots up, startled . No surprise there. I don't think he expected me to come here, so he didn't pay any attention to possible noises. Though I find that rather foolish, I mean, what would happen if a bear came here, I understand him. When I am in thought I don't think about anything else either.
When he sees me, he relaxed immediately. But then he seems to remember our last encounter and he tenses up. At least a bit.
"Katniss" is his answer. No Catnip? He must be really mad. "What are you doing here? Came to yell at me again?" This comment makes me want to leave again. But not before I say something myself.
"No, actually I wanted to talk to you. But apparently you don't want to talk to me. So I will just go home again and pretend you don't exist." I spit it out.
With that I turn around and start walking in the direction of the fence. If Gale doesn't want to talk to me, okay. It's not as though I'm going to beg pardon on my bended knee. I mean, what am I, his servant?
When I'm halfway there, I hear a "Katniss!". Ha! That's what you think. First insult her, but when you call her back everything will be okay. But not with me. I just keep walking, I don't even turn around.
"Katniss!" I hear again and this time it's closer. A few seconds after that I feel a hand grabbing my shoulder, forcing me to turn around.
"NO! Gale I wanted to talk to you, to make up and you? You have to insult me! I can seriously live without that! Have a nice day!" With that I shake his hand away and start walking again.
After a few steps he has caught up with me though. He is now standing right in front of my, forcing me to stop. And to look into his grey eyes. "Katniss, I'm sorry, okay?" Of course. That's the reason you sound so upset and irritated, I think. "But you…haven't talked to me in weeks and when you came to our meeting place I…thought it was an accident. That you didn't want to see me and it was just coincidence."
At the end, his voice sounds actually a bit sad. That's when my own anger starts fading. But that doesn't mean he is completely forgiven…yet. "You shouldn't have snapped at me. Even if it had been coincidence! I doesn't give you the right to talk to me like that!"
He swallows. "I know Catnip. And I'm sorry. But…you have to try and see it from my point of view. Not only that. Everything I said." What? What is that supposed to mean? Doesn't he think I've tried? Can't he see I didn't understand?
"I did! But…I couldn't! It's…You…I don't know what to make of it! You crossed the line, I hope you know that! I never thought you'd think of me as a…prostitute." I have to swallow before I manage to hiss the last word. Yes, that's how it started. Not the kiss. But with this accusation.
His eyes go wide. He isn't unaffected by my last word either. "Katniss, I never meant to say that. It just slipped out! I was so angry!"
"Do you think that's an excuse? You know I'd never, ever do it! You should know." I add the last sentence because, at least back then, he obviously didn't.
He shakes his head. "No, it isn't. But…Katniss I may have overacted, but don't you think I have a reason?" No, obviously I don't. Otherwise I wouldn't have snapped.
"What would you say if I suddenly started hanging out with some merchant chick? What would you do if you knew I hid something from you?" Oh. That's a good question. Honestly, I don't know. But I surely wouldn't accuse him of sleeping with her, would I? No. I'm sure of it. I would never do that.
"Not what you said." It comes out more as a whisper then anything else.
"But you do understand." He says with new confidence. "Catnip, I didn't want to hurt you. But I…don't like seeing you with him. He's only going to hurt you."
Oh great, now we're at the topic Peeta again. But how can I make Gale understand Peeta won't hurt me? I mean, how is he even supposed to do that? "No Gale. He won't. Besides, he isn't the one who did."
I'm determined to change the topic. I don't want to talk to Gale about Peeta. For some reason they can't coexist in my mind. And I'm not here to talk about Peeta. I'm here to talk with Gale about our fight. Though I have to admit this is not going the way I wanted it to.
But my words have the effect I wanted them to have. Gale blushes a bit and look away, trying to come up with an answer. "I know. But…Katniss open your eyes! Even you can't be that blind!"
Gale wants to continue, but I interrupt him. "Enough! That's not the reason I'm here. Gale, I want my best friend back! But if all you do is keep complaining about my friendship with Peeta…Well, I don't need that. Then I'll go."
I'm just about to push him out of the way when he says. "Katniss, I'm sorry. It's just that I don't want to see you getting hurt. And I overacted. I know that now. I want you back, too. Hunting is not the same without you. I miss you."
Wow. I've never hear Gale talking like that. But I don't mind. In fact, I'm glad we're finally going somewhere. "Yeah, me too. But I'm still not entirely sure you won't do it again." That's true. My life is enough struggle. I don't need a best friend whom I have to fight with every day. "And I won't break my friendship with Peeta. If you want to continue being my best friend you'll have to accept the fact that he is my friend, too.",
He sighs. "I don't like it. I mean, I don't like the idea of you two being friends. Still. But I won't say anything."
"Really?" I didn't expect him to agree so fast. Though I think this is due to the fact we haven't spoken in weeks. But honestly, I don't care why he agreed. I'm just glad he did.
"Yes, really." He falls quite for a few seconds. Then he says: "Can I hug you now?"
I laugh. The expression on his face shows worry, but I know that's fake. And it just looks so funny. "Sure." I answer and he takes me in his arms.
When he does so, something strange happens. I feel myself comparing it to Peeta's hugs. And what I find is somehow…scary. Not really scary, but surprising. I didn't think it would be this way.
When Peeta takes me in his arms I feel warm, I feel protected. I sometimes catch myself wishing he wouldn't pull away but hold me closer.
But now, in Gale's arms I feel nothing like that. It feels nice, in the way every hug does. I feel loved, but in a brother sister way. It's like when Prim hugs me. And when he pulls away, I'm perfectly fine with it.
This shouldn't be a reason to worry, really, it's just a hug.
But I am worried. Gale and Peeta are both my friends. And Gale is my best friend, whom I've known for years, so if I feel protected in anyone's arms, shouldn't it be his? And why do the hugs even different? I mean, they are both my friends, so both their hugs should feel similar. But they don't and that confuses me. Is it just the fact that I feel protected in Peeta's arms after we watched the Games together and he held me, like my father di, or is there something else?
I shake my head. No. No, that's everything there is to it, nothing else.
"Is everything alright?" Gale's voice makes me snap out of my thoughts. "Yes. Everything is fine now."
He doesn't look convinced. "Why did you shake your head then?"
He wasn't supposed to see that. "I am just happy to have my hunting partner back and I was shaking my head because you asked me if you could hug me. I mean, you knew I wouldn't say no."
He grins. He bought it. "Yes, I did. But I liked it better this way. More fun for me!" He exclaims and lifts me off my feet.
"He, let me down!" I laugh. This is the Gale he is supposed to be, the Gale that is my best friend, the Gale that didn't kiss me.
He brings me into the woods and we hunt the rest of the day. Neither of us mentions our fight or the kiss again and we both pretend everything is like before. Good.
Now I have reached my first goal. Now I have to reach my second. Getting my answers from Peeta. And I have a feeling that is going to be a lot more difficult.
Yeah, this chapter is more a filler than anything else. And it's short! I'm sorry for that. But it's important to have happened, because otherwise the next chapter would have gone different. So thanks again to Kari for giving me the idea by mentioning I need Gale again!
And this is the second last chapter in this year. One more is going to follow, hopefully before or at Christmas, after that, I'm not at home anymore and celebrating with my family:)
Please leave me a REVIEW!