Christian

My son... our son... I have a son... Ana had my child... and no one told me... suddenly I'm furious... her Dad knew and my Dad must have known too... yet no one thought it was necessary to tell me that I have a son...

„Mommy why is the man mad?" My son says and that brings me back to the here and now.

„I'm not mad, I'm happy to meet you. I'm Christian and you are?"

„No, I'm Christian... but only when I'm a bad boy... when I'm a good boy my mommy calls me Chris or CJ..." The little guy says and I look at Ana who is shyly smiling at me.

„You named him after me?"

„Yes... CJ, why don't you go and find aunt Becca, tell her you are allowed to have some cookies and milk." Ana says and puts him down before he runs off.

„He looks like me." I blurt out and Ana smiles.

„I know, it's crazy... he also is a lot like you."

„Really?"

„Yes, he is stubborn... charming... always trying to negotiate his way out of trouble... he's very bright... hates peas and spinach... sound familiar." Ana says and I smile.

„It sure does, tell me about your pregnancy... his birth... everything." I say and we sit down.

„While I was at the hospital they checked my blood... it's routine. I found out the day after you came to see me. My parents decided to move me to Boston to live with my aunt Rebecca and her family. At the time I thought it was just too much for them to handle... now I guess my Dad was trying to keep the Grey's from finding out about our son. I went to school until I was nearly nine months pregnant and went back after the summer. My aunt was already a stay at home mom, so she took care of CJ while I was at school. Giving birth to him... well, that was an experience." Ana says and I frown.

„What happened?"

„A week before my due date I was home alone with my then thirteen year old cousin Brandon. We were watching a movie, I got up to get some more popcorn when my water broke and CJ dropped so much I had to yell for my cousin to catch him because his head was already out... let's just say our son was born upside down and my cousin was traumatized."

„But you were both ok?"

„Yes, Brandon gave him to me and ran to the neighbors to get help. I had to stay at the hospital with him for four days but everything was fine. He was a tiny baby and but has certainly made up for that in the meantime."

„I'm sorry."

„Why are you sorry?"

„Because I wasn't there for you... for not even thinking about the fact that I could get you pregnant."

„Christian... we've been kids and you didn't have a say in leaving. Our parents made choices for us. Some I certainly don't agree with but in the end they kept you save and they kept our son save... you have nothing to blame yourself for."

„Maybe... you've just happen to be the one person I wanted to do things right with. Knocking you up while we are still in high school and not being there for you is certainly not doing things right."

„Maybe not, but I'm glad you knocked me up... because I wouldn't trade our son for the world." Ana says.

„Where do you live now?"

„Still in Boston. When I went to college I moved out from my aunt's place and shared an apartment with Siobhan whom I had met at campus. CJ loves her and we want to keep the apartment and continue to live together. CJ's pre-school is close by and he will start elementary school soon in the same area with most of his friends, so it's easier if I don't look for something else for now."

„Could you imagine moving to Canada with him? I don't want to leave my family but I want you and CJ to live with me to. We can find a school for him there, my apartment is big enough for the three of us and I have my company to support us..." I tell her and she looks at me for a long while.

„Christian I... look, how about CJ and I come with you for the summer and we go from there... so much has happened and I can't make such a big decision on impulse. I need to really think this through... it's not just me anymore." She says and even though I wish she would simply get her stuff and move in with me I smile.

„Ok, I can live with that for now... it's a start. And maybe I'm also lucky enough for you to agree to go on a date with me?"

„Yes, I would love to go on a date with you... but you should also plan some time for Elliot and Mia in." She says and I sigh.

„Yes, I guess..."

„What's wrong, Christian?"

„They are not my family, Ana... I have parents and siblings... real siblings..."

„Christian! How can you say that, you grew up with Elliot and Mia, you came back to make sure Mia was fine..."

„I know, it's not like I don't care, but they just don't fit into my life anymore... I cannot bring them home to meet my mother..."

„My head hurts and I don't want to fight... I'm going to check on CJ." Ana says and gets up to leave the room. I want to follow her but see Elliot standing in the doorway.

„So, that's how you see us... good to know... just one thing, stay the fucking hell away from Mia, losing you almost broke her, finding out you're a fucking jerk is the last thing she needs. I really hope you treat Ana and the kid better because if not I'm going to kick your ass you son of a bitch." Elliot hisses and storms off.

„Was that necessary?" I hear Ray and roll my eyes.

„What?"

„You know what, they are your siblings."

„Yeah, and another fucking reminder of people who stole me from my mother and while Elena tried her best to fuck me, Carrick wanted to kill me."

„And your siblings mourned you, Christian. Elliot never forgave himself for not noticing that you left the tent that night... Mia... well, you've been her hero all of her life... I get that you have a new family now... but don't forget the people who love you here over that."

„Thanks for the pep talk... now why did you never tell me about my son?"

„Jason and I decided not to tell you, not even your mother knows... you would have been stupid enough to come here again and what good would have that done?"

„I had the right to know."

„And I needed to keep my daughter and grandson save. That was my priority. Now, go after your brother and makes this right." Ray says and leaves but instead I call my mom.

„Christian darling, where are you?"

„Bellevue..."

„What? Have you lost your mind... you will come home right now."

„I'll be home in a day or two... mom it's over. Carrick is behind bars."

„What?"

„He tried to kill Ana, her Dad got the FBI involved."

„Oh my god, how is the girl?"

„A bit shaken but fine... I'm going to bring her home with me mom..."

„Really, oh, I can't wait to meet her."

„You will love her, mom... but there is more... the night I had to leave... Ana and I we... you know..."

„Oh... well, you always said you love her, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised."

„I got Ana pregnant that night." I get out and for a minute there is silence.

„You have a child?"

„Yes, a son... Ana named him after me... he looks just like me mom and we'll bring him with us to Canada."

„Oh my goodness... a grandson... I'm so happy, darling. I can't wait to meet him and his mother... he must be five by now, right?"

„Yes... he seems to be a great kid..." I reply.

„But there is more right?"

„I saw Elliot again..."

„How did it go?"

„I don't know..."

„Christian darling... they are not your siblings the girls and Caleb are... you have to move on." My mom says and I take a deep breath.

„I know... it was just weird to see him again... any way... I'll be home soon, there is nothing you have to worry about."

„Good, but I'll sent Jason to get the three of you home safe anyway."

„Sure, see you soon mom. love you."

„Love you too, Christian."

My mother is right, I have a family and Elliot and Mia are not a part of that family. I don't need them and now that I have Ana back in my life and a son on top of that I have all the family I will ever need.

So, I make my way through Ana's childhood home to find her in the kitchen sitting with our son who is having his milk and cookies.

„Can I get one too?" I ask and Ana gets up wordlessly and puts a plate with two cookies and a glass of milk in front of me.

„Are we fighting, Ana?"

„Yes... no... I'm sorry... I'm just tired and my head hurts... it's been a long, exhausting day and..." She says walks around the table sits in my lap where she curls up just like she had done when we were kids and she got tired.

„I missed this a lot... please don't be mad at me, I just got you back and I talked to my mom... she is looking forward to meeting you and this little guy." I let her know and she smiles.

„I want to meet her too... do you think she'll like me?"

„You made her a grandmother which gives her another kid to dote on, so you have just become her new best friend."

„I'm my mommy's best friend." CJ protests and I smirk.

„You are?"

„Uh-huh... mommy always says I'm her best little buddy..."

„Well, then that must be right, how about my mom is going to be your mom's best girl buddy?"

„Ok... where is your mommy?"

„In Canada, you can meet her soon."

„Where is Canada mommy?"

„It's across the border from the Niagara Falls, do you remember when we went there CJ?"

„Yeah... we got ice cream there, Mommy, is it wet in Canada?"

„Sometimes..."

„Can I wear my rubber boots and raincoat with Elmo and jump into puddles mommy?" CJ asks excited and Ana groans.

„Only if you take a bath afterward."

„No... bathing is for girls... boys are supposed to be dirty, I heard uncle Rob tell aunty Becca that she likes him bestest when he's a dirty boy." He says and I nearly choke on my milk.

„No bathing no puddles, CJ." Ana says stonefaced but then I hear her mutter under her breath that she is going to murder her uncle and start laughing.

„It's not funny Christian!" She snaps.

„I didn't laugh, mommy, he did!" CJ says appalled and points his finger at me.

„I know CJ, his name is Christian too... and you know that pointing your finger at people is not a nice thing to do."

„Sorry, mommy..." He mouths petulantly and just by watching his annoyed little expression I can really see myself in him... my girl, my son and I get to keep them both!