Mark remained silent most of the ride to Anthony's apartment, the dream still wracking his mind. He wasn't about to discuss just what happened in it with Ryan, or especially Anthony himself. But he knew it was a subconscious way of telling him something, something he still wasn't sure he was ready to admit.
"Dude...which way now?"
"Huh?" Mark asked, looking to Ryan, not even aware he had been asking for the next set of directions for a while now. He had even pulled over to make sure they didn't get lost, while Mark was lost in thought. "Oh...uhm, a left up here," he said, looking to the GPS on his phone. Ryan sighed and turned, getting tired of the silence.
"Personally, I thought you'd be a lot more excited for today," Ryan started, glancing over to him while at a red light. "What's going on, got the jitters again?"
"Yeah...I guess you can say that," Mark responded quietly, looking away.
"Still thinking of your dream from last night?"
"Yeah...you can say that..."
"Gonna keep repeating yourself until I shut up?"
"...Yeah...you can say that..."
Ryan sighed, turning into a parking area once again, wanting to get to the bottom of what was going on in his friend's head.
"Alright, dude, what's going on with you?"
"Ryan, I really don't want to talk about it right now..." Mark said, looking back to him.
"Just yesterday, you were bouncing off the walls waiting to see this guy, now you're more depressed than ever! What did your dream do to you so badly that you've one-eightied your outlook for today?"
"I dreamed about him, ok?!" Mark snapped back, leaning against the chair, looking out the window. "...It got heavy, and...now I'm scared to even see the guy again..."
"Wh-...I thought you were ok with how you felt! Didn't my talk to you about it help at all?"
"It did, dude, at first...now I'm just...scared again. I feel like I'm gonna puke if I even try to talk to him. If I look at him, I will cry. If I think about him, I get lost in it!"
They remained quiet for a moment, Mark's focus staying out the window. After a while, Ryan started the car again, looking back to him.
"Which way now?"
"What?"
"Which way now? Did I stutter?"
"We're still going there?!"
"Do you want to disappoint him?" Ryan asked, looking to him from the corner of his eye.
"Did you not hear a word I just said? Just being around the guy, I'll panic!"
"Yeah, and?! Mark, you can't deny yourself how you really feel any longer!" Ryan said, idling the car once more. "Clearly, your dream was telling you the same thing." He paused, looking to Mark, trying to get the point across. "...You're in love, Mark!"
"No I'm not!"
"And why not, then?"
"Well, because he-...and I'm...I just...bec-..." Mark's speech slowed, as he remembered what Ryan said. Anthony had Jess, sure, but a crush was still a crush, even if he couldn't act on it. And it seemed to hit him hard, to the point he tried pushing them back just as hard, causing him heartache. Mark shook his head, trying to speak, finding it difficult. "I...don't know..."
"Mark...I know it's not easy to accept something like this. It hurts even more when, well, you can't act on it. I'm guessing what happened in your dream was your way of...uhh...'relieving' that act?" Ryan asked, Mark silently nodding. "Ok, you don't have to explain it to me...just...know that this isn't uncommon. You were nervous, then excited, now you're terrified. You've been through high school, you had to have had crushes like this before."
"Yeah, but...not exactly like this." Mark muttered.
"Still, you remember the feeling back then? How your stomach turned when you would just think about them, and you'd be completely lost in thought, and I'm guessing you had dreams, too."
"Look, I don't need you to psychoanalyze me, or act like a dad to me, or anything like that." Mark said. "I know you're not trying to, you're trying to help, and I thank you for it. But right now, I just...don't know what I should do..."
"Ok, then how about from a friend, here's what you should do. Be Mark. Be you. The person who hung out with him the first time you met him. Be a friend. Be there for him."
Mark looked back to him, trying not to get taken over by his emotions again, swallowing hard. Taking a deep breath, he nodded, trying to smile through nervously shaking lips.
"Alright...take the second right here." Mark said, looking back to his phone.
Their drive was a little more lively after their discussion. They talked about where they would go to eat and what movie they'll see. They agreed to let Anthony decide, not wanting to bring him to a film he already saw. Mark would occasionally gush a little about how he'd be paying for his popcorn, essentially 'fueling his addiction', or how they'd share a car on a roller coaster in DisneyLand and be able to have a photo of it, to keep the memory. Would they pose? Should they pose? What should they pose? Would their pose be in time with the photo? Mark asked all these questions, all of which got an 'I dunno' from Ryan, relieved to see him back to normal at last.
They pulled up to the apartment building, Mark's nerves returning once again. As the car went idle, he took a deep breath, looking back to Ryan, a giddy smile on his face.
"You ready?" Ryan asked.
"Yeah," Mark said with a nod. "I just...haven't seen him in a while."
"Hey, just remember what I, and the Genie of Aladdin said. Be-e-e yourself!" Ryan said in his impression voice, Mark laughing a little.
"I know, I know...alright. I'll be right back." He said, pausing, looking to the building briefly before opening the door, stepping up to the front door. He stepped into the foyer and found the right button, swallowing as he pushed it. He heard the echos of barking from upstairs. Must have been Rexxar, so he had the right one. After a moment, he heard a door open, followed by playful scolding at the barking.
"I'll be back tomorrow! Rex, stop it!"
Mark decided to peer up the stairs, thinking of at least joking around a little as well.
"Yeah, Rex, if you don't behave, no play time with Chica!" He called up in a humorously intimidating voice.
"Yeah! Back up! You! Sit! Sit!" Anthony paused, his dog sitting, tail wagging, thinking it was going to play. Anthony grabbed a stray tennis ball, tossing it into the living room, Rex chasing after it. He shut the door and hurried down the stairs, laughing a bit.
"Did you just trick your dog? Really, dude?!" Mark laughed as well.
"Y'know, I should feel bad, but I really don't! He's still so gullible!"
"One of these days, he'll learn."
"Don't jynx it, dude!" Anthony laughed, finally stepping down to meet up with him. "But hey, it's great to see you again!"
"It's great to see you, too!" Mark began. "I was a little worried th-!"
Mark was interrupted by a sudden embrace. Anthony, being much taller, pulled him into his chest, unintentionally fueling Mark's inner fire. His build was evident that he had been working out once again, as when Mark tried to hug him back, he felt the air escape his lungs.
"Ok! Ok, dude!" Mark said, tapping out, laughing slightly. "We get it, you're stronger than me~!"
Anthony chuckled and pulled away, starting for the door. "Sorry, just been thinking about today quite a bit. I'll show you how to get to Steven's place, then we can all hang out together in a big road trip! If your room mate doesn't mind, that is."
"No, that's cool, just topped off the tank before we got here."
"Alright, and I'll pay my share, don't worry. Don't want you going Dutch on me!" Anthony laughed, stepping outside.
Mark had a moment to cool down outside while they went back for Ryan's car. Mark introduced them to each other, and took an opt to sit in the back with him to 'better navigate the GPS to Steven's house'. Ryan occasionally gave him subtle looks through the rear view mirror, causing him to blush and look back out the window. But even through his nervousness, he was still joking up a storm with the two throughout their ride to Steven's. As Anthony went in to pick him up, Ryan couldn't help but notice how Mark was going along. Mark even thanked him for being their to help him through it.
"Don't thank me, man," Ryan said. "You're doing great on your own."
"I'm trying my hardest..." Mark said, looking back to him. "I wouldn't be like this now if you hadn't snapped me out of it."
"Hey, what are friends for?" Ryan finished, noticing Anthony was coming out again.
Mark looked over as well, smile slowly fading. Anthony was laughing hard, as his friend trailed behind him. Soon, he paused mid-step, looking back to the Canadian, before wrapping an arm around his shoulders, tugging him in for the rest of the walk to the car. Mark felt his heart sink. He knew, above all else, that Anthony and Steven were friends for much longer than Anthony and himself. They were the ship of the Derp Crew. They were ZeRoyalChaos. And there was no thought in Mark's mind to take that away from them.
So why did he feel...jealous?