Disclaimer: I do not own the Vampire Diaries or any of its characters, I am not that talented.

-Chapter Ten-

We're In It For The Long Haul

Elena's POV

Bonnie and I were nicely set on the couch, we had chocolate and a movie, when we heard the door open and Caroline's body emerging.

"Your back really early!" Bonnie stated, "its only eight o'clock!"

"He's a gentlemen!" Caroline breathed out, closing the door and pushing her back against the wall, sinking against it.

"So, how was it? What did you two get up to? And why are you back at such an ungodly hour?" I asked, smirking.

"It was amazing, we went to the Oak room, and we ate and talked about absolutely everything. We are back so early because he was meeting his family to celebrate his mom's birthday," said Caroline.

"His whole family?" I asked, trying to seem less interested than I was.

"Yeah, he said Damon would be there, I mean he is her son!" Caroline stated.

"True, I was just curious," I said, taking a piece of chocolate from the block Bonnie and I were sharing.

"So what was so gentlemeny about him?" Bonnie asked Caroline.

"Well," Caroline began, "there was no kiss goodnight or even a peck on the cheek, he just walked me home and organised to meet me tomorrow night for dinner," Caroline said, breathing out yet another held breath.

"Well someone isn't looking forward to it!" Bonnie stated, teasingly.

"I'm not that excited!" Caroline stated, trying to cover up her excitement by pushing her lips together to form a line. "I'm going for a shower!" Caroline stated, pushing her body off the door and walking into her room. Bonnie and I looked at each other after ten minutes of not hearing the shower start.

"What are you doing in there?" Bonnie called out, whilst I got up and slowly opened Caroline's bedroom door to find her putting dresses against her body and comparing them in the mirror.

"Caroline," I teased opening her bedroom door fully.

"Um, nothing!" she said throwing the dress she was holding onto the bed and spinning around one hundred and eighty degrees to face me.

"That doesn't look like nothing," Bonnie said, joining me at Caroline's door.

"Well that's what it was, nothing!" Caroline said, trying not to look so suspicious by siting down on her bed and placing her hands in her lap.

"You were picking out outfits for tomorrow night, to a date you said you weren't excited, or remotely interested in, seems Caroline has been telling some lies," Bonnie said, the two of us running into Caroline's room and tackling her onto her bed. The three of us remained on top of Caroline, laughing at Caroline's expense.

"So was he everything you expected?" I asked Caroline, who gave me mooneyes.

"He was everything I expected and more. He was just like I remembered him, polite, hot, athletic, smart, funny and wonderful.

"Wow, so you already know he's athletic," Bonnie said coyly.

"We didn't have sex so you know, he was telling me about how he is apart of a lacrosse team at Columbia and he also runs every morning in Central park," Caroline said, recalling the details of her night with Stefan.

"Is that why you have your running gear on the bed over here?" I asked, trying to get a response out of her.

"I thought it would be good for me to continue exercising, you know getting fit again, like we all were in high school," Caroline said.

"Hahah, nice try!" I deadpanned. Caroline got up off the bed and went into the bathroom to have the shower she said she was having earlier. Bonnie and I went back into the lounge room and continued watching the movie that we had paused. For the rest of the night the three of us watched the movie on TV and ate chocolate.

The next morning, I got up and got dressed for the day I had ahead. I didn't have any classes today; instead I had an important appointment with the psychologists that I had booked over a year a year ago, but could never bring myself to go. Whenever I had an appointment the psychologists would text me the day before to remind me, but somehow this mechanism in my mind told me to cancel and that's exactly what I would do. Although I had only been to one appointment and it was one of the worst appointments that I had ever been to. Talking about my feelings, how I felt about loosing my baby and about loosing Damon. The first appointment that I went to was well over a year ago. I had been at Columbia and living in the city for half a year, although Matt and I were dating back then, I still had so many unresolved feelings about loosing Damon and loosing the baby. Last night both Caroline and Bonnie convinced me that I should go to the appointment that I had scheduled a month ago. So that's what I was doing, I was going to my appointment whether I liked it or not. I grabbed my keys and wallet and headed out of my old apartment that I shared with my two best friends. Heading out the door, I walked down the staircase that led to the outside world. Stepping out onto 73rd street I made my way down to Midtown to the building my psychologist was practising in. I arrived at the building with ten minutes to spare. Going into the lift and pressing level five, the lift took me up to my psychologist level. When I entered her practice, a secretary greeted me, offering me water and telling me to take a seat in the waiting room. I did as I was told and after ten minutes of reading a magazine that I wasn't very much interested in, my psychologist came out of her office and called my name.

"How are you Elena?" Dr Vreeland asked.

"I'm doing pretty well," I answered.

"Come in and take a seat on the couch," Dr Vreeland said, motioning her hand towards the couch opposite her swivel chair. She picked up her note pad and what looked to be my file; which looked very empty, due to the fact I had missed every one of my fifteen appointments scheduled except one. "So by the looks of your file, shall we begin where we ended last time?" she asked, rather kindly.

"I guess," I said in reply.

"So last time we spoke you had just started at Columbia and just moved into your apartment that you share with your friends and you seemed still very attached to the memories of loosing your child and the baby's father, which is all completely understandable. I nodded my head as a way of answering. "So Elena, from your viewpoint what is the problem?" Dr Vreeland asked.

"What do you mean the problem?" I reiterated.

"Well put it this way, you are here for a reason and although we both already know the reason, in your opinion how do you define it? How do you see the problem?" she asked again.

"I guess I see the problem as being something that probably will never be resolved. I see it as being something that will never be resolved unless I get them back, if that makes sense?" I asked Dr Vreeland. She nodded her head at me in response and began jotting down what I had told her on her notepad. "I mean I don't think this-" I paused, trying to find the right words, "I don't really know how to say it, but this I don't know isolation in my mind probably won't be resolved until I can get passed it. And I don't really know how I am going to get passed it; I mean it was one of the worst ordeals I have been through and I don't know if I will ever get passed it." I stopped, looking into Dr Vreeland's eyes and asked, "How do I get passed it?"

Dr Vreeland, returned my stare and tapped the pen a few times on the pad and says, "Elena, it is up to you to get passed this. You have people that care about you and you have me, you have family and friends, but essentially if you want to get passed this, you will have to help yourself get through this. And that is something you ultimately have to do on your own."

I nodded my head at her, "but I don't know how! I don't, I have no idea how I am going to do that!" I was almost pleading with her to give me answers.

"Elena, tell me what you are doing now that you are happy with and that is helping you through the experience that you went through?" Dr Vreeland asked.

"I um, saw my daughter," I said softly.

"So you met your daughter, tell me about that!" Dr Vreeland asked.

"Well her name is Thea and she will be 15 months in a few weeks. She's beautiful, really beautiful and full of joy and she's always laughing. She has these piercing blue eyes like her father's and her hair is like my mother's was. I have only met her twice and at both of those times I had never felt such a strong connection, except when I was with Damon. I don't know how to explain her other than she's perfect." I told Dr Vreeland, who was scribbling something down onto her notepad.

"This is very good Elena, you have come a long way. You have described your daughter, but now tell me what it was like meeting her, what did you feel? How did she make you feel? How did leaving the adoption agency make you feel?" Asked Dr Vreeland.

"Well," I began, "seeing my daughter again, I guess made me feel alone again. Like in someway I felt as though I was reliving giving her up. It was as if I was back in the hospital, signing the adoption papers." I paused thinking about the other parts of my life where I felt utterly alone. "It was like when I left Damon, when I was in the early stages of my pregnancy and having absolutely know one to go through it with me. That feeling was on replay when I got into my car and drove away from the adoption agency after seeing Thea for the last time. Both of those memories just continuously played on a loop and there was no escaping it. I sat in the car for ages, crying and reliving those memories, until I found a slight eaze and drove away."

"And Elena, what was that eaze? What allowed you to drive away from the adoption agency, away from your daughter?" Dr Vreeland asked.

"Thinking about my family, thinking about-" I stopped mid sentence, unable to admit what it was that pushed me to drive away from the adoption agency.

"Go on!" Dr Vreeland insisted, nodding at me to continue, whilst tapping her

"I thought about Damon and how leaving him was such a stupid mistake and that despite my being pushed into doing it, it was ultimately my fault and not his or his mothers. When my parents died, Damon was there to help me, he picked me up and made me realise how many people loved me, despite my parent's no longer being in my life." I said.

"So Damon was like a support system?" Dr Vreeland reiterated.

"He wasn't only that, he was someone I could trust, someone that I could lean on, but someone I could love and care for and he could do the same for me." I rephrased.

"So Damon was someone that you could love and they would do the same? Damon was like family to you?" Dr Vreeland asked.

"I don't know if I would call him family, I guess he was my-" I paused again, unable to express what I meant. "Damon was my soulmate. He was sort of thrust into my life at the best time; it was at the time that I needed someone more than anything. And sitting in that car outside the adoption agency made me realise that Damon was just that, he was my soulmate and I ruined everything!" I stated, a few lose tears slipping from my eyes and rolling down my cheeks.

"Here!" Dr Vreeland said, passing a tissue box to me and then placing it back on the coffee table next to her once I had picked one up. Gently dabbing the tissue to my eyes a few times over, Dr Vreeland began her questioning once again. "Elena tell me what leaving Damon made you aware of. You have already told me it made you feel lonely and isolated, but did it make you aware of anything?"

"It made me more aware of myself in some sense. I don't know how to explain it but when I left Damon and moved to Atlanta I felt like I was not in control of my life and I was aware of it." I said.

"So you felt as though leaving Damon was not only extinguishing a piece of him but a piece of yourself?" the doctor asked me.

"Yeah, losing Damon, made me lose myself." I said, agreeing with Dr Vreeland.

"I see," she said nodding her head and writing down my answers on her page. "Elena, can you tell me if you feel somewhat yourself now?" said Dr Vreeland.

"What do you mean?" I asked, unsure of what the doctor was asking me.

"I mean, living in New York, starting over in a new relationship and starting college, does it feel you? Or does it feel strained or forced?" she asked again.

"In some way's it does, feeling forced that is. Getting a fresh start in a new city that I was unfamiliar with, gave me the chance to start over and recreate myself. Living in Mystic Falls was quite hard, because everyone knows who you are, but in New York there are so many people that my problems are irrelevant. Being in a new relationship with Matt has made me feel refreshed and rejuvenated, not in the sense that he is a juice cleanse, more in the sense that being with Matt gives me the chance to start a new life, with someone who doesn't know me. But it also feels forced in some way, because mine and Damon's relationship was very serious and it was at a point in my life when I was young and vulnerable and he made such a great impact on me; a positive impact that is. Damon made sacrifices in his life for me and I can't help but feel guilty because I left him and then I thrust myself into a new relationship, which is becoming quite serious," I told Dr Vreeland.

"Is that a good thing Elena? Does being in this new relationship with Matt feel good?" asked Dr Vreeland.

"It does and it doesn't. Being with Matt feels light and good, but it also feels strange and uncertain," I said.

"Uncertain?" she asked, questioning my choice of word.

"It feels like it has no future, I don't see Matt and I really progressing very far into the future. I see us being together for some time, but not like I could see Damon and I. With Damon, I could see us being together until the end, until our end. But I don't feel like that with Matt and I feel guilty because what if he see's it going far and he thinks I reciprocate those feelings, but truthfully I don't." I said.

"I see, does Matt know about Damon or about Thea?" Dr Vreeland asked.

"Not in the strictest sense. Matt has asked about my exes and although there was only Damon, I haven't really told him much about what he was like. All that Matt knows is that Damon is someone that I was very serious with and that we broke up."

"Ok," she said scribbling some more answers on the notepad. "But Matt does not know about Thea?" she asked.

"No, I haven't told him. Talking about Damon and I and how we broke up was hard enough. But telling him the real reason, the fact hat I had a daughter and that I selfishly gave her up is not something that I think I can relive with Matt."

"Elena, you must know that when you gave Thea up for adoption, you did that for her benefit, there was nothing selfish about it. Thea has been adopted by a wonderful couple that will care and look after her and will give her a great deal of love and support. This is something you should be proud of, it isn't selfish to want Thea to have a better life, one that you might not have been able to give her!" stated Dr Vreeland.

"I guess your right, giving away my daughter was something that I had to do. I could never have looked after her or given her what she needed." I replied.

"That's right Elena, you have to believe in yourself and remember that what you did was for the benefit of your daughter and you have ultimately given her an amazing life!" Dr Vreeland stated. "Elena today has been very productive, you have come such a long way. This is technically your second visit and you have made such a great improvement, I believe that with more visits you will be able to open up more about Damon and about how you truly feel about your daughter. I also believe," Dr Vreeland said, continuously reading over the notes that she had gathered throughout our session. "Elena I believe that over time when you start to feel more comfortable and forthright with Matt, that you will be able to tell him about your past!"

"That's what I hope to achieve in time!" I stated. Dr Vreeland and I stood up from our streets, as she ushered me out the door. The receptionist was typing something on her computer, whilst a blonde woman waited where I had been waiting, reading a fashion magazine. Dr Vreeland bid me farewell and informed the receptionist of my next appointment. Writing the date in my diary and circling it a few times to remember, I left the suite and went into the lift, pressing the ground level button and walking out onto the street.

Damon's POV

"STEFAN!" I yelled for the third time. "Are you ready? We are meant to be there in ten minutes!" I stated, walking into the spare bedroom that Stefan had been staying in for the past day.

"I'm coming! For god sake, why are you in such a rush, you are always late?" Stefan asked, adjusting his tie.

"Our father is going to kill me if we are late and knowing him he will think its all my fault and you were the poor younger brother who has been in criminalised by the notorious dark Damon." I said, somewhat quoting my father.

"I don't think running late is a crime, even on our father's standards!" Stefan stated, putting his tux on and leaving his bedroom.

"So are you done?" I asked Stefan again.

"Yes, yes I'm done!" Stefan said, walking into the kitchen to meet me. The two of us walked to the elevator, calling for the elevator and pressing the ground level with my wallet and house keys in hand. Stefan and I walked out onto the busy streets, my doorman hailing us a taxi and bidding us a goodnight. The two of us got in the back of the cab and told the driver our directions. The taxi turned into central park and made its way across the park onto 5th avenue, driving up until we got to east 81st street. Once we arrived outside, we payed our fare and got out of the taxi, making our way into the busy restaurant. A waiter greeted us and led us to our table where both our mother and father were already seated; immersed in conversation.

"Oh Damon, my darling!" my mother exclaimed, getting up out of her seat and coming towards me and wrapping her arms around me.

"Mum!" I exclaimed, embracing her warmth, "happy birthday!"

"Thankyou, my son!" my mother replied, her arms disentangling from my form and walking over to my brother to do the same. My father, nodded his head at me as if to say hello, but his manner came across as rather disinterested when he sat back down after patting my brother on the back. "So, Damon my darling," my mother started, "how has work been?"

"Busy!" I stated, "yeah dad has me on quite the busy schedule."

"Would you like to order some drinks to start?" our waiter asked. Once the four of us had ordered, the waiter left to go make our drinks.

"Your father tells me that the firm landed the Texan clients, how did your presentation go?" my mother asked, leaning back so that the waiter who was standing behind us could deposit my mother's wine and the rest of our drinks in front of us.

"It went really well, at least I think it did," I told my mother. "But you should probably ask father, his account is probably much more reliable!" I stated, taking a gulp of wine from my glass.

"Giuseppe, tell me how my son did in the meeting!" my mother stated, she too taking a sip of her champagne.

"He was successful in landing the client!" my father stated calmly, whilst calling the waiter over to our table. "I think we're ready to order now," my father said, reading aloud what he intended to eat. The waiter left once each of us had ordered.

"Is that it Giuseppe? Come on tell me how he is doing, I haven't heard anything, Damon doesn't tell me, Stefan doesn't tell me, heck we live together and you haven't told me how our son is doing. So tell me now what my son is up to? He went to college to study this and I still don't know of his progress!" stated my mother, who was now a quarter of the way through her champagne.

"He's doing well, considering the mess he was in when he first started!" stated my father.

"Wow, so that's what a compliment sounds like, funny I have never heard one before, at least not from you!" I stated, the waiter depositing our food in front of us.

"I think that's enough about Damon, why don't we turn our attention to mom who is celebrating her birthday tonight?" said my brother, who had picked up on the heavy cloud of tension that was forming around the table.

"Why don't you open your presents mom?" I asked. My mother nodded her head at me and pulled out the present that Stefan had gotten her. She unwrapped the girft and opened the black box, inside was a brightly coloured, silk Hermes scarf, which she stared at in awe.

"Oh thankyou my boy!" my mother exclaimed, getting out of her chair and kissing Stefan on the head, who was sitting opposite her.

"You're welcome mom!" Stefan exclaimed, as my mother went and sat back down in her chair. My mother got out the gift that I had gotten her, unlacing the ribbons and taking apart the wrapping paper, she held the box in her hands. My mother opened the medium sized black box and studied the contents. Inside was a scrapbook, which my mother pulled out; her initials were engraved on the front, which she traced with her fingers. Her mouth slightly fell when she turned the front page, a photo of my mother as a young girl took up the page.

"It's a scrapbook that chronicles each of our lives. This is the first one, which is about you mom and the other three you will receive at your next three birthdays!" I stated proudly of my innovative idea.

"Oh Damon its beautiful!" my mother stated, taking my hand and kissing it, then gently putting it back on the table. "I can't believe you did all of this and thought of this amazing idea!" she exclaimed again.

"Well I didn't make it, I just gathered all the photos, knick-knacks, history etc. and then had it engraved and made into a scrapbook. It took a while for the scrapbook maker to do it, but it turned out just the way I had hoped!" I stated. Our dinner continued to move along smoothly, the cloud of tension slightly evaporated, although was still somewhat noticeable. Throughout the dinner, the four of us talked about my mother and her youth and how our childhood memories of her. Once we had finished our meals and moved onto dessert, my mother began the conversation about Katherine and when she would meet her.

"Damon, you have known this girl for years and I still have not met her!" my mother said, pleading with me to meet her.

"Mom I want you to meet her, its just that she travels quite often and when she's here she is really busy. I will ask her when she is free and we will go out then!" I stated, although happy that one of my parents was taking an interest in my relationship.

"Well I am looking forward to it, I will take the two of you to brunch and I will meet my son's future wife!" she stated proudly.

"Future wife!" I stated, bewildered by her words. "Mom I haven't considered marrying her yet, so where are you getting these ideas from?"

"I'm sure you will marry her one day, I have not met her yet but I have heard so much about her and she sounds wonderful. She is nothing like that Elena that you were obsessed with!" said my mother quite coldly.

I rolled my eyes at my mother's words, "mom I wasn't obsessed with her, I was in love with her!" I stated.

"Oh Damon, she was a terrible person, she left you, she just packed up and left without hardly a reason. You are just lucky that you met Katherine when you did and now look how happy you are!" my mother stated.

"She had her reasons mom and despite me not knowing what they are exactly, Elena was not a terrible person, in fact she was quite the opposite!" I stated, getting somewhat irritated, that it was my mother who was now saying such things my father would. The only difference between my parents is that despite my father caring for me his focus was on himself, whereas my mother cared for me unconditionally and would do anything for her children, even if that meant hurting others or herself. The four of us stopped talking about my love life and about Elena and Katherine and instead we turned our conversation to our home in the Hamptons that my mother was refurbishing. Stefan and I had not been to our house in the Hamptons for quite a few years. I had promised Elena that I would take her, but once we broke up I completely forgot that our house in the Hamptons existed and it was not until my mother brought up the fact that she was re-doing the interior that I thought I should probably take a visit. Once the four of us had finished our desserts, my father ordered the bill and payed, whilst my mother, Stefan and I walked out to my father's town car that was parked outside the restaurant. Stefan and I said goodnight to our mother and did the same when our father came out of the restaurant. My father and mother drove away in their towncar whilst Stefan and I got in a taxi, which took us back to my apartment. Once the two of us got upstairs into my apartment, I declared that I was going to bed. Stefan did the same, bidding me a goodnight and entering the guest bedroom. When I got into the bedroom I shared with Katherine, I was puzzled when I found her asleep on her side of the bed. I got undressed and put on my pyjama bottoms, opting to stay shirtless. I pulled back the covers on my side of the bed and lay under them. Katherine's body did not move a muscle, except for the continuous up and down motion of her stomach. She usually awoke when she hears me come inside, but it was an indication that she must have been very tired.

I lay in the bed staring up at the ceiling, thinking about what my mother had said about Elena. Despite myself, partly agreeing with what she said, there was no way that what my mother said about Elena being selfish was true and it pained me to hear someone, especially my mother talk of her that way. It didn't take my body long to drift off to sleep, as I became settled in the warmth of the sheets.

So thank you to everyone who has been reading and following and reviewing etc.