Fix You - Coldplay

Xxxx

As soon as his feet hit solid ground his stomach lurched, expelling that day's food. Lily grimaced at the sight and smell before vanishing it. She deposited him in a nearby chair to wait while she spoke to the receptionist.

"Ask for Healer Ase." He insisted, looking rather green. He reached up, rubbing at the tenseness in his muscles.

Several minutes later she returned with an overly familiar blonde mediwitch trailing behind her. "Sirona, we can't keep meeting each other like this." He tried to smile at her.

"Come on, funny guy." She helped him stagger to his feet. "Can you walk? Or do we need a stretcher?"

"I'll be fine." Lily wrapped her arms around him again for support while sending him a meaningful glare. The three of them walked through a set of swinging doors, separating the patients from the waiting room. The hallway was filled with the sounds of painful moans and tears. Severus was about to join them when Sirona finally stopped in front of a room. He heaved a sigh of relief as he was laid on the lumpy hospital mattress. A thin gown was tossed to him and he groaned at the thought of moving again.

"Are you capable of helping him?" Sirona asked skeptically, clearly thrown off by the disguised Lily.

"Yes, that's fine. I'm his…" She glanced at Severus, unsure of the appropriate term.

"…she's my fiancée." Severus' finished for her, emitting a blush on Lily's pale cheeks.

"I'll leave you to it then." Sirona smiled and took her leave, closing the door for privacy.

"I thought I was going to be your sister." Lily said once she was sure they were alone.

"Yes, but then I couldn't do this." He reached up to pull her down for a kiss. "It'll be easiest if we can stick as close to the truth as possible. Not so many lies to get caught up in."

Lily helped him sit up, sliding the clothes from his arms, much like she'd done earlier that night. Their room had been dark when they'd left for the hospital and now under the harsh, white lights she saw the purple that sullied his back. It ran down his spine, leaving the shape of each bone visible. In some areas the bruising was so deep it was almost black. It spread across his shoulder blades, highlighting every blemish and scar

"Severus…" She gasped. "What happened?"

He frowned and attempt to turn which only resulted in him crying out. "What are you talking about?"

"Your back…never mind."

He slid his arms into the sleeves of the gown and she tied it behind him. He laid back down and Lily cracked open the door, signaling he was ready. The heavyset woman walked in a moment later. She listened to Severus with rapt attention as he explained what was going on, how the pain had been growing with intensity since Christmas. When he finished, Sirona approached him. She guided her wand over him while muttering under her breath. Lily watched with rapt attention as the woman moved from his head to his toes. Reaching the end of his length she made an unreadable expression only momentarily and started over with a different chant.

"Severus." She said almost exasperated "Nothing is wrong."

"What?!" Lily practically shouted at her. "Just look at him!" She turned to Severus. "Sit up, show her!" He did as he was told and Lily tore open the back of his hospital gown and beckoned for Sirona. "You still want to tell me nothing is wrong?"

The mediwitch shook her head. "Nothing is coming up on my scans. We can't treat what we can't find."

"I want Ase." Severus bellowed suddenly.

Sirona sighed. "I'll see if he's available." She walked from the room, leaving the two of them alone.

"What's so special about Ase?" Lily asked quietly, breaking the tense silence.

"He's the one who used the severing charm on my leg. I've seen him off and on since then. He's the one who helped me relearn how to walk."

Lily nodded and reached out to take his hand. The devastation on his face was clear. She had so many things she wanted to ask him but she couldn't bring herself to do it. They sat together in the sterile room, hoping the healer would have something else to say. The door creaked open again and they both looked up at the newcomer. In the doorway stood a man who must have been near eighty. His skin sagged with age and his scalp was visible through his thin, white hair. He stared at Severus with piercing blue eyes that made Lily uncomfortable. Without a word the wiry man approached Severus and pressed on various body parts. His finger tips lightly trailed the bruises.

"You still don't know the spells that were used?" He asked in a voice higher than Lily expected.

"No, sir. I think they were some of his own creation."

The healer bit his lip in thought. "It seems it may include a sensory type of memory charm. This is almost identical to how you first came in. When did they appear?"

Severus looked at Lily, using his eyes to ask the question.

"They weren't there earlier, I only noticed them when we first got here." She wondered if they had appeared while the two of them were in bed together, when the pain had first started. "He's been hurting for some time, I finally convinced him to come, but this hasn't happened before."

Ase nodded and stepped away, allowing Severus to lie back. "I'd like to keep you overnight and run some tests. I'd like the chance to study the effects as well, if you'll allow me of course. All I can tell you now is it seems like severe nerve damage. I'll have Sirona move you to a more permanent room. And Mr. Snape?"

Severus looked at him questioningly.

"We'll have no repeats of last year, correct?"

"Not at all, Sir. Things have changed."

"Very well, I'll speak with you in the morning." He walked from the room, leaving them alone again. Severus patted the side of the bed and Lily curled up next to him.

"I need you to leave. I have to talk to Yaxley and of course you can't be seen."

She nodded. "Let me know when he leaves and I'll come and spend the night."

"You know I would love that but appearance charms don't last that long. In just a few hours everyone would know who you were."

She signed, more than disappointed. "I'll see you tomorrow then." She tried to look away and Severus used his thumb to turn her back to him.

"Hey, you know I love you, right? I wouldn't make you leave if circumstances were different."

"Will they ever be different?"

Severus felt his heart sink. It wasn't a question he could even attempt to answer. The downfall of Lord Voldemort had been predicted but no one knew when it would be. "That's not something we need to figure out right now. Go home, you need your rest."

She nodded and gave him a gentle hug, afraid of hurting him. "I love you too." She mumbled into the fabric covering him. She unwillingly bid goodbye and walked from the room, down the short hallway and back to where she arrived. She stood still for a moment, unwilling to go home alone. With a sudden decision she disapparated, arriving at a house in Dufftown.

She undid the appearance charms and reached out for the door, knocking with a shaking hand. No answer came, it was already so late, she wasn't surprised. Lily turned to leave when the door cracked open and an sleepy Remus stared back at her, bleary eyed. "Lily? What are you doing here?"

Unable to bear it any longer she flung herself into his arms as she burst into tears. He patted her back awkwardly, unsure of what was happening. "Can I stay here tonight?" She practically begged. He nodded, how could he say no to this?

"Come in, I'll make you some tea and you can tell me what happened."

She followed him inside and sat down. The adventures of the day weighing heavily on her. Using his wand, Remus sent boiling water into two cups and placed a tea bag in each, bringing them over. He handed one over to her and she let the billowing steam soothe her face and tired eyes. Remus sat down expectantly, waiting for her to begin. Lily stared back into his kind face. They'd been close to one another during their time at Hogwarts. She'd trusted him with almost everything and he'd kept it all a secret, even from the other Marauders.

"Remus…" She began over the lump in her throat. "If I tell you, you can't tell anyone, not Sirius, not Peter, not even Dumbledore.

"Okay…I promise." He seemed unnerved about whatever she was about to reveal. When she didn't speak, he did. "Do you want me to make the vow?"

"No, no…I trust you." It warmed her heart that he would even make the suggestion. "We're alone, right?"

"No, I was planning a surprise party for just this occasion…of course we're alone."

Lily rubbed her tired face, ignoring the joke. "Well, you know how I moved back to Cokeworth?"

"Of course."

"Apparently so did Severus."

Remus' face blanched as he realized where this was going. "Lily! You know what he is!"

"No, he's not, not anymore." Before she could stop it everything spilled out, how they had reconnected and how he had been the one that let Remus go that night. Sometime during their conversation Remus moved to sit by her, laying an arm across her shoulders comfortingly.

"You love him again, don't you?"

"Oh, Rem. It's so much more than that.

"Did he leave you? Is that why you're upset? I'll kill-"

"No, no, we're fine, more than fine. He was tortured for letting you go and he hasn't been the same since. Mulciber messed him up. His health has been getting worse again and I took him to the hospital tonight after the Order meeting." She stared down at her hands, amazed that Remus wasn't objecting to any of this. He'd always been the most reasonable, the most understanding of the four boys. "Voldemort overheard a prophecy, a baby born as the seventh month dies will be the one who defeats him." She met his gaze again. "I'm pregnant."

Remus stood suddenly, running his hands through his muddy brown hair. "Of course you are! Merlin, Lily! Do you ever-"

"I'm not a child!" She screamed back at him. "He's different now. None of this was planned but you yelling at me won't change that."

Remus' hands came back down to his sides with a slap. "What is it you want then?"

"I just…I just needed a friend, someone to confide in." She shook her head, trying to clear her tears. "I was wrong coming here." She forced herself up angrily, headed for the door.

"Lily, wait…Lily! Stop! I'm sorry, okay?" He grabbed her, hugging her tightly and letting her fall apart in his arms.

"Everything is so messed up, Remus."

"I know, I know…stay here as long as you like. Godric Gryffindor, everything makes sense now. That's why you're leaving the Order, isn't it?"

She nodded

"How did Sniv- Severus, take the news?"

"Surprisingly well, he's excited."

"He has changed."

Lily couldn't help but smile for a second before her face fell again. "I'm afraid I'm going to lose him."

"His injuries are that serious?"

"No…I don't think so anyway but I can't help but be afraid they are."

"Why aren't you there now?"

"It's not safe, we can't be seen together."

Remus nodded in understanding. "Sirius will likely murder you both when he finds out. You can't hide this forever."

Lily sighed. "I know, but we're doing what we can. This can't get back to Lord Voldemort. You can't tell a soul, Remus."

"I won't, you know I won't."

She did.

Xxxx

Yaxley had been awoken by a large, transparent bear. It was so different from the doe he'd seen before. Upon hearing Severus' message he changed and flooed to the hospital quickly. Stepping into the waiting room he brushed the soot from his robes and asked to see one Severus Snape. He was directed to the fourth floor, just like before, and entered the room to find a weary Severus.

"What did he do now?" Yaxley drawled.

"It seems our friend's curses have reappearing effects."

"The Dark Lord will be furious."

"'I'm well aware." Severus sneered. "I need you to make sure the fury is directed where it belongs; Mulciber."

"What's in it for me?" Yaxley crossed his arms over his chest.

"I'll find you a way out of there, Corban."

"And what if you don't?"

"What would you like me to offer then?" Severus was growing irritated with the conversation. He was already in a bad mood and Yaxley antagonizing him didn't help.

"I want your spell, that severing charm."

"Absolutely not! It's too dangerous if it falls into the wrong hands. I can't risk that getting back to the Dark Lord."

"It seems you're on your own then."

"What if I created one just for you?"

Yaxley rubbed his stubbled chin in thought. "What would it do?"

"That's your decision."

"Very well, it's a deal. I'll speak with him tomorrow."

Severus watched the fair haired man leave. He waited until the sound of his footsteps faded to nothing before casting one last patronus. Yaxley agreed to help, he's speaking with Voldemort tomorrow. Releasing the bear, Severus watched it lumber from the room before passing out from sheer exhaustion.

Xxxx

He slept horribly that night with Sirona in his room every couple hours. He felt someone gently shaking him awake, groaning he shifted away from whoever it was.

"Sev, it's me."

The sound of her sweet voice penetrated his dreamless sleep and he forced his eyes open into the brightness of the morning. "Lil?" He murmured at the sight of her dark features.

She reached out, brushing his skin. "How are you feeling?"

"I've been better." He smirked. Someone appeared over her shoulder and he frowned, still not fully awake. It took a moment before he realized who he was staring back at.

"What the hell is Remus doing here?" He hissed, sitting up

"She told me everything, mate."

Severus' eyes shifted between the two of them before settling on a glare at Lily. "What exactly is 'everything'?"

Lily sighed, she knew he wouldn't be happy. "Us and the prophecy, that about covers it."

"And that it was you who-" Remus began.

"Don't." Severus interrupted. He didn't want to be thanked, the Dark Lord had "thanked" him enough. Just seeing Remus made his blood boil. "Why?" He asked Lily rather brusquely. Her gaze softened and he understood. "Son of a- Lil, this has to be a secret!"

"We'll talk about this later." She snapped back, a blush growing in her cheeks.

"You tell anyone, Remus, and you're a dead man."

Remus raised his hands defensively. "No one will know."

The healer entered then, breaking up their argument. He paused in the doorway at the palpable tension in the room before clearing his throat. "I'm afraid all of the tests came back normal. It seems your body doesn't believe something is wrong even though something clearly is."

"What the hell am I supposed to do then?"

"Unfortunately, as of now, nothing. I can give you some potions to control the pain-"

"They don't work like they're supposed to." Severus' voice trembled as he tried to keep it steady.

"I'm sorry, Severus. I don't know what else to do for you right now. I recommend you try to learn more about the spells. For now, go home and rest. I'll have Sirona discharge you."

Severus threw himself back on the pillow in frustration and yelped at the pain it caused.

"I'll leave you two alone…" Remus slunk from the room as Severus threw his legs over the side of the bed. Lily gingerly helped him into his clothes. She noticed the purple bruising had traveled farther down his body and was noticeable on his thighs now. He noticed them too but didn't speak, didn't reach out for her and she knew he was still furious with her.

"Remus wants to help protect us."

"The more people you tell the more protection we'll need."

"You were the one to tell Dumbledore."

"Actually he figured it out."

"You may not need someone to know, Sev, but I do. I trust Remus. I wouldn't have told him if I didn't."

Severus slid his arm into the sleeve and began doing up the buttons of his shirt. "Who would I tell? It isn't about not needing someone, it's about not having someone. It's always just been you." He stood, surprisingly finding it a little easier to walk than the previous night and opened the door to let Remus back in. Remus waited around awkwardly as Sirona discharged Severus. The three of them disapparated to Lily's home.

Severus stumbled his way to the nearest chair and collapsed in it. Remus looked at him as if he was seeing him for the first time. He sat down near Severus and leaned his elbows on his knees. "Lily said you're Dumbledore's spy."

Severus nodded, already exhausted from the small exertion. "Unfortunately I can't leave the Dark Lord's side. This is the best I can do." Lily left the two men alone, retreating to the kitchen.

"What's your current plan?"

"Hiding in plain sight at the moment."

"And what happens if one day you don't come back?" He took his chance to ask the question while Lily was gone.

Severus gulped, it was something he didn't even want to think about "Lily's strong-"

"No, Severus. Losing James destroyed her. I don't think it's something she can do again. No matter what she's told you, she was in love with him. She's in love with you now, I see it on her face plain as day. But, whatever you two are doing here, I don't think she can come back from losing the father of her child."

"I assure you, I lost her once, I have no intention of doing it again. I'm in this for good."

"Does that mean-"

"Yes." Severus was afraid Lily would overhear them. "I know it's soon but we've already spent so many years together. We're merely just catching up now."

"Good, because if you do leave, if you hurt her-"

"You'll hurt me?" Severus smiled lightly. "It won't be necessary."

Lily entered the room again then with a plate of sandwiches. She cleared her throat as she placed the food between them.

"I can promise Sirius won't know anything about this, about you." He directed at Severus. "He'd put both of our heads on a pike. But, Lily, you can't expect to keep him in the dark about a child. One day he's going to stop by and he'll find out. It's best you were honest with him on that front…Lily if, down the road, you need someone to stay with you while Severus is gone I would appreciate it if you called on me, barring the full moon of course."

"I will, I appreciate the sentiment, Rem." She smiled, some of the weight having been lifted off her shoulders.

The three of them sat in a semi circle, eating their lunch in an uncomfortable silence. They each had a different past together that no words could rectify in that moment. Severus polished off his food and stood weakly.

"I hate to break up the reunion but I can't bare to wear this any longer. Lily…could I trouble you for a moment?"

"Of course!" She set down her own food and moved to support Severus, only to be stopped by Remus.

"Lily, you need to take it easy, let me." She saw an uncomfortable look on Severus' face at Remus' touch but he didn't resist. Remus helped him up the stairs and down the hall with Lily trailing behind them. The men were similar in size and able to move much faster than if Lily had been the one to help him. Remus deposited him gently on the bed.

"I can take it from here, Remus, thank you."

He nodded and headed from the room, closing the door behind him. Lily noticed Severus' hands shaking as he quickly yanked up his pant leg and undid the prosthetic. A brief look of relief crossed his face but Lily noticed the bruising had extended even further. She helped pull his robes off, leaving him in ⁿ but briefs and tucking him into the bed like a child. She retrieved a potion from off the dresser and slipped it into his hand. He downed it quickly and placed the empty vial on the nightstand. Lily bent down and kissed him on the lips as his eyes fluttered shut.