Afterward (12/22/2008)

Before I begin, I must reiterate that I wrote this from purportedly Snape's perspective; I did not believe everything Snape said in the story, nor do I agree with everything he did.

Also, though this may be highly difficult to believe, as of last August I have been consistently attending church, and I am considering being baptised when I turn 18.

I attribute a lot of the stuff I wrote in this little nine-chapter story to teenage rebellion, but also as a part of the inner conflict I was having at the time I wrote it, some six months or so before I decided to formally accept God into my life again. If it makes any sense, I composed it as a way to resolve the internal doubts I was having about my 'settled' hatred of God; unfortunately, the story ended without myself having completely decided on the matter, as evidenced by the fact that I didn't kill off Betty. (Though I daresay I couldn't have done that, as I have grown uncommonly affectionate towards her, using her character in other things beyond the bounds of this fanfiction.) Anyhow, so I do keep this story as a testament to my development, but I do eschew a good deal of the impassioned stuff Snape says.

I also believe this story was a way of settling my internal hatred of communism, on which I have not recently made a radical 360 in my views lately, but I was somehow trying to connect religion with extreme socialism, which is easy only on the face of it. That's all I'm going to say on that matter.

I rather like Snape as an atheist, still, mainly because I see him as rather a teenager even as he approaches 40; he was forced to grow up too fast, I believe, and so although he may be highly mature in some respects, in others (ones more evident to those most intimate with him) he is very vulnerable and childlike. I see these as including a)religion, b)sex, c)ethics/morals, d)hatred of natal aspects--parents, country, etc. He's a (domestic and social) war baby, and always will be scarred by growing up in volatile circumstances. This is simply because he will probably never acknowledge the fact that he is scarred, as much as he berates himself for other aspects of his being.

Thanks to everyone who actually enjoyed this story and supported me while I wrote it; your kindness has helped me to personally grow and come to terms with my inner self.

Merci so much for reading, and I hope this conclusion helps to put everything in context.

Alex