I am so sorry I didn't update for a long time. I've been busy with finals and such, with a lot of projects. Anyway, you'll be surprised at this chapter, I promise. Anyway, this chapter is called "What Hurts the Most" for a few reasons, and well, PLEASE REVIEW!
Chapter Ten: What Hurts the Most
A few days passed after Jesse's injury. Although Susannah was glad, she somehow felt emptier than ever. After saying how much Jesse meant to her, sometimes she would pray that Jesse would have heard that. But by the way he was acting towards her, it had seemed as if he had not. As the days went just like any other, with the long hours, Susannah didn't seem to be the same person she was. But when seeing CeeCee unbelievably happy because of her own love, she did not want to release her own sadness upon such a happy young woman.
"Miss Susannah?"
Susannah had whipped her head, turning toward Jesse's voice. Seeing his smile, she gave one of her own, feeling slightly nervous. They hadn't talked to each other for awhile, so seeing Jesse now was surprising. Gathering the courage to speak, her heart seemed race as she looked at the perfect angel.
"Yes?" Susannah replied, her throat feeling dry. Looking into his eyes, it seemed as if he was in pain. But that confused Susannah. Should he not be happy that he was still alive?
"I just wanted to thank you for saving me," Jesse whispered softly, but loud enough for Susannah to hear. "If it wasn't for your care, maybe I would not be standing in front of you right now."
Susannah couldn't help but give another heart-warming smile. She closed her eyes and gently hugged herself.
"I should be thanking you," Susannah replied. "You saved my life first." Jesse walked towards her, never leaving eye contact. It made Susannah's mind race just knowing he was standing alone with her. Jesse had nodded, silently standing there.
"Are we even?" Jesse asked, giving an adorable expression of confusion. Susannah gave a slightly small giggle, and sighed. Jesse had chuckled along with her. "I saved your life and you saved mine. Shall our worries disappear now?"
Susannah nodded, her hands placed on the side of her legs that she gripped on her dress. Jesse gave one last smile, turning away from her as he began to walk towards the door. Susannah wanted to call to him, tell him not to go, but she couldn't. What was the point? But before seeing Jesse disappear, he stopped right at the doorway. He turned around, giving a saddened smile.
"I'll never leave you, querida."
With that, Jesse left, leaving Susannah astounded as she stood in the middle of the room. One of the things that Susannah had pleaded before, and now he promised never to leave. Did that mean he was not going to marry Rebecca? But as she stood there, she felt alone once again.
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It was late, and the only reason Susannah was in the De Silva house was because of a big mess the little girls had made. Walking towards the kitchen, she looked around in the darkness to find her jacket. The rest of the family were already asleep, so when she heart voices, she was suddenly surprised. She heard soft voices of a male and female speaking. She slightly expected to her the mister and mistress talking, but the voices seemed too young. Quietly walking towards the wall, she pressed her body against the wall next to a window. She saw two silhouettes, quietly talking to each other.
"I know that it is not your fault," a woman whispered. Her voice seemed to crack because of tears. Susannah had squinted, trying to figure out who was talking. Her voice seemed familiar. "But it just really hurts. I cannot stand to be alone now, Jesse."
Susannah's eyes had widened suddenly, her voice caught in her throat as she knew she was listening to Rebecca Anne Cassin and Jesse de Silva. Her hands placed on her mouth, she tried to keep quiet instead of bursting into their conversation. Knowing it was terribly rude, that she should not be listening, she stayed.
"I am so sorry," Susannah heard Jesse say, seeing Jesse walk near to Rebecca. He wrapped his arms around Rebecca, holding her in his embrace in which Susannah wanted more than anything. Feeling a sharp jolt in her heart, she tried to give a reason to herself to why Jesse was doing this. Of course; he was getting married to her anyway.
"I just cannot believe this is happening," Rebecca sobbed. Susannah had gripped the wall, feeling her heart slowly and painfully breaking into two. Jesse stayed in that position, still holding her tight.
"I promise to never leave you, Rebecca," Jesse had whispered, causing Susannah to gasp lightly. That was what he told her before. But no, that was probably a lie, anyway. "What ever happens, I will be here for you. I will never walk away. Rebecca, I will always…love you."
Susannah slowly began to back away from the window. Her eyes stung with painful tears, but not as much as a knife was being struck through her heart. It cracked slowly, not breaking just in two, but into millions of pieces. Her jaw quivered, her arms suddenly hugging herself as her knees began to feel weak. Gently leaning on the opposite wall, she took sharp breaths as she tried to keep her tears from falling. Biting her lip, her tears finally let loose. Beginning to fall, Susannah took all of her strength to start running out of the mansion.
She ran outside, her hair flying loose from her hair tie. What had hurt the most was that she truly believed that maybe there was a chance that Jesse had loved her back. What had hurt was that she thought she was close enough to win his heart. What had hurt the most was that she needed to watch Jesse walk away from her.
Or maybe it hurt so much because she knew that she was the one who needed to walk away. Running for so long, her mind raced in so many thoughts. She could not see him again, knowing it would hurt too much. She could always pretend that she was okay, make it look like she was still his friend.
Right then, Susannah stopped running. The word 'friend' kept echoing though her head. She would always just stay as a friend to Jesse and nothing else. Collapsing on the ground, her tears ran freely more than ever. Although the stars above seemed to gleam brighter than any ordinary night, everything seemed so dark to her.
"Miss Simon?"
Susannah slowly looked up, seeing Paul Slater standing in front of her. He looked concerned, something she did not expect from someone so suspicious.
"Are you alright?" Paul asked, offering his hand towards her. Susannah sniffled, her vision blurred from her tears. Now, she didn't know what was going on in her head, or what she was thinking. But because of her broken heart, and finally feeling what hurts her the most, she took his hand.
"No," Susannah had answered truthfully. "It didn't mean anything," she whispered, mostly talking to herself. Paul had given a quizzical expression, but seeing as she was so broken hearted, all he did was wrap his arms around her. Sniffling, Susannah cried more this time, letting her pain ache as Paul had started leading her towards her home.
"Is this about Hector de Silva?" Paul asked, listening to Susannah cry. A few more tears rolled down from her eyes and she nodded. She didn't care who knew anymore. Maybe Paul would be a better friend than Jesse ever was… maybe even more.
"It doesn't matter anymore," Susannah had sighed, letting Paul lead her nearer to her home. Paul had looked down at her.
"And why is that?" Paul had asked, watching the young woman finally tell the entire truth of what she felt. With the broken heart, though, it was hard for Susannah to breathe or speak. Her heart was broken only because of Jesse. Her anger now surged through her, but did not aim at Rebecca, but more at Jesse. Taking all her strength, she spoke with all of determination.
"…because I do not love him anymore."
Yes, that is the end of the chapter! REVIEW OR I WON'T UPDATE! Are you guys sad? Tell me what you think!
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!!
BTW the sequel will be called "The Promise." But of course, I still have to finish this one! PLEASE REVIEW OR I WON'T UPDATE!