Ten chapters thus far. Thank you for the few readers I have, you're all lovely.
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I find myself walking slowly over to Olivia. She's turned her head so it's away from me, and doesn't seem to register when I sit down. Looking at her, I can't really decided what the look on her face is, it could be so many from this point of view, but I do notice the forming bruise on her cheek. "Olivia," I whisper softly, "are you alright?" The noise around us is deafening, the light Christmas music is slow, lethargic even in its cheeriness. The clanking of cups from the dishwasher, is a darkly ballad. My bones, my heart aches for Olivia. She finally turns to me, her face a mixture of pale blue, and eyes that are tired, and I wiggle under her gaze. There is definitely something there she's afraid to say.
"I'm fine Amanda, now here comes the waitress so you better order." I look at here for a moment, and then turn to the waitress with a big smile. Turning on the charm I ask for two hot chocolates with extra whip cream, and camel sauce. I found five dollars in my bag on the walk over, and I do believe we deserve to drown in chocolate, it's better than the alcoholic alternative I've decided. "It'll be out real soon hun" and with a swish of her skirt she's gone. Before I lose my nerve, I face Olivia. "I know your secret, if someone's hurting you, I..." I don't know what to say. "I know what it's like... I don't know what I could do to help... I could listen..."Where was this coming from, this wasn't helping at all. The salt shakers were handy, so slipping my bag off and setting it on the seat beside me, I cover the lid, and spin them. Around and around they go, and still, Olivia says nothing.
Olivia.
Way hadn't I noticed it before? Why the hell did it have to be Amanda that found out. It could have been Casey walking through that door, or Fin or Much and Nick even. She's talking, but I can't really hear her, how the hell can I get out of this one. "I know what it's like..." Wait, did she have a hell like this. I watch her spin the salt shaker, around and around. What the hell am I supposed to say to her? Hell. The waitress brings two hot chocolates, and Amanda scoots one over to my side of the table with a smile, right beside my school books. I figured, I'd work ahead as long as I was here. What could it hurt.
For now she is alternating between looking at me, spinning the salt shaker, and drinking her hot cocoa. Looking back, I see she has a bit of whip cream on her nose. I smile which seems to puzzle her. "You've ah... got a little something on your nose." She smiles and grabs a napkin from the canister.I can't keep this up forever. "So, uh...how much do you know?" She stops wiping her face, neatly folds the napkin and pushes her almost empty cup away from her. "The caked makeup, your arm. The long sleeves. Your face tonight. I uh... recognize the signs. Are you okay?" She doesn't pity me I notice, she just looks sad, defeated. This puzzles me. "My Mom just gets carried away sometimes. She is a professor, you know how a teachers life can be." It's not a complete lie, but I can't tell her the complete truth just yet. Hurts too much. "Her boyfriend is over and he's not too nice a guy." I don't know who the hell he is. "I don't want to get in there way, they're uh.. stress releaving. It's really not that bad." She opens her mouth, and then closes it. She needs to say something, this is more than Alex, Casey and Fin even know. They just think my Mom is uptight.
Amanda.
I can't tell if she's lying, but I've only known her for about three days, so who am I to know. "I know all about that, my Mam has her fair share of those. They never do clean up after themselves." She looks relieved for a moment, and then her face has a look I don't realize. "So you know about my Mother" she says, "why're you here Amanda?" Oh man, I guess the tables have turned. I fidget, not knowing what to say. Back home, everybody's parents roughed them up a bit, but I just got the lucky end of the straw, my Mam didn't know when to stop. Can I tell her that? I decide against it. "I just fancied a hot chocolate." Not a complete lie, I had meant to go here. "Heat's off, and my Mamma was busy. Kim's out, so I decided to come here."
She looks skeptical and I don't blame her - we're both liars, and we both know it. Everything's just awkward now. I seize in the diner. The fancy homely feel. The walls are yellow, the floor is wooden and polished, the booths are a cream color. There are old-fashioned pictures lining the walls, and the windows have gingham curtains. I breathe in, breathe out. In, out. We are still here, and we are both liars. It's nearing eleven now, and I figure I could head back if I wanted to. Since Mamma was home, she's most likely dead to the world by now. I wonder where Kim is.
"Amanda" Olivia's voice is shaky, but loud. "Would you mind not telling them about this? I don't need pity, and I don't need them to know. I wouldn't have told you but...I think this should stay quiet, I know I can trust you." She says this rather coldly despite the warm meaning in her last statement, I see how it is, "yeah, I'll keep it to myself. Don't worry about it." We're liars. I'm a liar. It feels like she doesn't want me around now, she seems cold like the November air. I find myself standing. Leaving a crumpled five dollar bill in the middle of the table, with a few loose coins from my pocket. My lunch money for the next few days, but I guess it's worth it. At least she knows I listen, if she needs it, which I doubt from what she's said. "I'll see you tomorrow." Yes, it was going to be past midnight when I got home, but I don't really care anymore. When the wind hits me, I regret my choice. Olivia is watching me walk away with her eyes, she said nothing but goodbye. I doubted she'd do anything else. We aren't best friends. I'm not Casey or Alex, or Fin, Nick. Anybody. I am a nobody.