Title: Saying Goodbye

Author: Robin

Disclaimer: They are JE's. If I owned them they probably wouldn't so much fun to play with.

A/N: Confession time. I've only been to Miami once and that was to board a cruise ship. I'm not at all familiar with the area and frankly I'm too lazy and impatient to do more than cursory research for this story. My apologies if you live in Miami or are familiar with the city. Please excuse the errors.

Rating: R, for some language. We're getting warmer…

"I want you here, Babe. Don't ever doubt it."

I squeezed his hand in mine, feeling a flush of warmth from his words.

Chapter 10

Stephanie

"But…" Ranger continued, trailing off as he maneuvered the truck into a parking space.

Now, in my experience nothing good followed the word but. Like when my boss at E.E. Martin said, "You're a great employee, but there won't be a place for you here after the buyout," or when Dickie-the-Wonder-Ass said, "I love you, but Joyce lets me do her from behind." So, it was not surprising that the word but on Ranger's lips right after he'd said what he said was dimming my glow more than a little. And I waited impatiently for him to drop the bomb. Something like, 'I want you here, Babe. Don't ever doubt it. But, you're a real pain in the ass and you're more trouble than your worth and your boobs are too small.'

Still not finishing his thought, Ranger put the truck in park and removed his seatbelt. I did the same, but when I tried to pull my hand from his to escape the truck along with whatever crushing comment was coming, Ranger tightened his grip and pulled me toward him. I ended up leaning across the console, inches away from him, our hands clasped between us. He tipped my chin up with his forefinger until my eyes met his. "Is that really all I am to you? Just a friend?"

His tone was light, but somehow I could tell my answer mattered to him. It was hard to believe that a man like him would care how I viewed him. I mean, he could crook his finger and women would fall at his feet. But, for some reason he cared what little, ol' Stephanie Plum from the Burg thought.

In a soft voice, I answered, "You are my friend, Ranger. Probably my best friend." His hand slid up to cradle my cheek, his thumb brushing against my cheekbone. There was something vulnerable in his eyes that persuaded me to add, "But you're more than that, too."

With a whisper of movement, he lowered his lips to mine. They were soft as they caressed me, drawing me into his kiss. A flutter started low in my belly and a wash of pleasure brought goosebumps to my skin. With a small sigh, I relaxed into him as he deepened the kiss, the hot silk of his tongue slipping into my mouth. Unlike the majority of our kisses, which were all bone-melting, this kiss contained more than just heat and passion. This one had caring and friendship and maybe even love. With that thought, I stiffened and Ranger pulled away from me, a little reluctantly.

He spoke before my scrambled neurons could reassemble, "Don't tell me, Babe. I know. I'm poaching."

Huh? Oh, right. Joe. He hadn't even entered my mind. And here I'd only just assured him that everything was innocent.

Ranger pressed one more, quick kiss to my lips and moved to get out of the truck. "Come on, let's get food."

I slid out of the truck, mentally flogging myself. What the heck was I doing? Sure, Joe and I weren't exactly happy at the moment, but we were still together. I was almost positive of that. Nearly entirely, sorta, kinda positive.

Normally, in my mind, I'd lay all the responsibility on Ranger when we had a "close encounter." But this time had been different. Rather than taking what he'd wanted up against a wall in an alley, he'd almost asked permission. Okay, not in so many words, but the kiss had been sweet and slow and easy and I could have stopped it if I'd wanted to. Of course that thought never once entered my mind. Not that I'd ever really wanted Ranger to stop kissing me in the past either. Even against the wall in the alley, it was convenient to blame it on Ranger, but the truth was I knew exactly what was going to happen when he'd ask to speak to me privately. And while I'd deny it 'til I was blue in the face, I wanted it as much, or maybe more than he did.

I walked around the ­truck and joined Ranger on the sidewalk, feeling a bit off center and more than a little confused. He immediately took my hand again, almost as if he was having a hard time being away from me, and I automatically felt better. I guess being around him soothed me, too.

We walked down a narrow alley between two buildings and crossed a wide street which bordered the ocean. The street was lined with stores typical of a beach front, surf shops, cafés and the normal tourist traps. The air was heavy with humidity and the smell of salt water. The calls of water birds competed with the noise from the traffic on the street.

Ranger guided me into a small café and we were seated on a patio overlooking the beach. It was warm in the sun, but the breeze off the water kept it comfortable and even though it was winter back home, here people were enjoying themselves in the sand and surf.

We ordered, a sandwich for me and a salad for him, and settled back to enjoy the beautiful day and the beautiful people in companionable silence. That was something I'd had to learn about Ranger and had to get used to when I was around him. He didn't try to fill in the silence with useless words. But when he did speak, he was always worth listening to.

We were quiet throughout lunch, each absorbed in our own thoughts. So, I was surprised when he said, "I'm sorry about earlier."

Did he mean the kiss or making me talk to Joe, I wondered.

"With Marco," he clarified.

"No, Ranger, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. I just didn't realize—"

"Really, Babe. Don't blame yourself. I'm sorry I got upset, but I wasn't upset with you. It's just Marco has some issues."

I'd say that was putting it mildly and the incredulous look on my face must have communicated that thought.

"Okay, that's an understatement. But, he has reasons for how he feels. Still, I'm just not in a place to deal with it right now. And if Marco pulls that with my mother, it'll kill her."

"I guess I just don't understand why he feels the way he does. You obviously cared a great deal for your father."

Ranger blew out a sigh and stared out at the ocean, but I got the feeling that he was really looking at the past. "My father was a good man. Moral to a fault. He did what was right no matter the consequences." Hmm. That sounded a lot like the man sitting in front of me. I wondered if he realized that.

Ranger paused, playing idly with the goblet of water sitting in front of him, spinning it in a circle, lost in thought. Finally, he continued, "But, he was hard to live with. He had impossible standards. Especially for his sons, and we couldn't help but disappoint him. He doted on my sisters, but Marco and I had a rough time.

"Still, everything good that I've done, everything I've accomplished, I did to make him proud of me. When I was a kid, I disappointed him. I rebelled. I got into trouble and Marco was always right there with me, helping me to figure out how to make it worse. I told you that I got arrested for boosting a car, right?" He looked up at me and I nodded slowly.

He dropped his eyes back to the swirling water in his glass, his lips quirking in a mirthless smile. "I never told you it was my father's car. Marco had asked to borrow it and Papa told him no, so we took it. When Papa found out what we'd done, he called the police and reported it stolen. Wanted us to learn a lesson, so he pressed charges. We had to get a public defender, the whole nine yards. It was a mess. My mother was worried out of her mind."

I couldn't hold in the soft sound of sympathy for Ranger. It was hard to believe that a parent would do that to their own child, no matter the reason.

Ranger looked up at me and smiled for real this time, reaching over to squeeze my hand where it rested on the table. "I know what you're thinking, Babe. I felt the same way at the time, but the truth is he did the right thing. I was heading for big trouble and I don't know where I would've ended up. Dead, probably… just another drug-dealing, street thug, gang-banging statistic. Getting arrested was a wake-up call. I was sent to juvie for a few months and when I got out, I came down here to live with my grandma. I wasn't happy with my father and he wasn't speaking with me, either, but at least I straightened out."

Ranger continued, absently tracing my fingers with his own as he spoke, "Marco's situation didn't work out so well. He was old enough that he was facing actual jail time, but since I was driving, the judge gave him the option of probation and compulsory military service. He hated every minute of it, but if he didn't stay in for three years, his probation would've been revoked and he would've had to do the time. So he rode it out, just skating by and when he was discharged, he settled down here, too. But he's never quite gotten past it.

"Papa didn't speak to either of us that whole time. I know he talked to my grandma, but he didn't visit and he didn't call. When the family came down to Miami, he didn't come with them. When Marco or I called home, he wouldn't get on the phone. Even when I went back to New Jersey to Rutgers, we didn't speak. For almost ten years, it was like we were dead to him and he was dead to us. But, a few years ago, just after I'd gotten out of the Army and was starting the business down here, he came to see me. Wanted to reconcile. Said he'd been wrong. And he had been – not for letting me face up to the consequences, but for not forgiving me when I got my life straightened out. But I'd been wrong, too and it was good to have him back in my life. You know, I wish things had happened differently. That we hadn't lost those years. We both were so stubborn. But, at least we got the chance to reconnect." Ranger's hand stilled, covering mine. He was silent for a long moment, immersed in his memories. I wanted to say something, do something, to erase the hurt that he'd gone through as a boy and was going through now. I've never felt so useless.

Ranger cleared his throat and added, "Papa tried to talk to Marco, but Marco just wasn't ready to forgive him. Now he'll never have the chance."

"How sad," I said, feeling a deep sorrow for Marco and Ranger welling up in me. Even for his father who had made mistakes, but tried to make it right in the end. I felt the corners of my eyes moisten and I concentrated hard, staring at my hand interlocked with Ranger's, willing myself not to cry.

Throwing a few bills down on the table, Ranger stood, pulling me up with him by our entwined hands and into a hug. After a moment he pulled back, sliding both hands up to gently cradle my face, brushing at the moisture that had gathered there with his thumbs. He tilted my head back and kissed me softly, heedless of the fact that we were standing in the middle of a crowded little restaurant.

"Thank you for listening, Babe," he said when he lifted his lips from mine, resting his forehead against my own.

"I wish I could do more," I said, squeezing him lightly where I still had my arms wrapped around his back.

"You do more than you know." He smiled and we walked out onto the sunny street, hand-in-hand.