Disclaimer: In case you missed it at the top of every other chapter…I do not own Grey's Anatomy. And I also don't own the title of this chapter. "No good deed goes unpunished" is a line in the song "No Good Deed" from Wicked.
A/N: I'm up to 7,400 hits (which is 1000 more than I had before I posted chapter nine), and 50 reviews. Wow! Okay, here goes chapter ten! This chapter was originally one very long chapter, but I broke it down into two more manageable ones. The chapter before was just too long, to the point where the only thing it had tying the events together was the chronology of this fic. I know I promised an addek moment, and there sort of is one, but not really. See, the real addek moment got cut out of this chapter when I split it into two, and is in the other half (which, by the way, is Christmas, incase you couldn't guess). I really, really wanted Richard and Adele to get back together. At first I wrote it that Addison convinced Adele to take Richard back, but it didn't work at all. Upon rereading the chapter, the answer was obvious, really. How could Addison fix yet another couple? I mean, seriously, that is just completely implausible, so, much as it pains me, Richard and Adele are not going to happen. And the later part, with Addison and the rings, well, part of that was supposed to happen towards the end of the story, but somehow Addison wanted part of it to happen now. Oh well. If you are wondering why, despite my many "Addison is going to become happy!" statements, Addison is still sad, it's because, well, I'm sad because my grandfather passed away, and so Addison is sad.
Oh, and I have to admit that I'm proud. I got seven reviews on the last two chapters, which is really quite amazing. I wouldn't be complaining if I got, say, ten or more, however, since I see how many people read each chapter, and how few review.
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
"I pay you to perform surgeries, to save lives, and even to do paperwork, not to order Christmas presents," a loud, commanding voice informed Addison, causing her to jump. Recognizing the voice to be Richard's, Addison only glanced up, before looking back down and circling a wool blanket in a magazine. She muttered something unintelligible into the phone, and Richard waited while she made the person on the phone promise that it would arrive before Christmas, which was now only three days away.
Pushing the hang up button on her blackberry, Addison smiled up at Richard. "Ah, but once you get your present, you'll forgive me," Addison joked. Richard laughed, and Addison knew that she was forgiven—Richard never stayed mad at her for long unless she really deserved it. "I'm spending an absolute fortune to make sure that everything is express mailed so that it will get there in time…Can you believe that I actually forgot about Chrismas, Richard?"
Richard looked at her, slightly in shock. "You…forgot?" he questioned, and Addison nodded. "You always remember Christmas painfully early. I remember when you were an intern and you were constantly reminding people about Christmas celebrations before Thanksgiving! There were times when I think half of the staff in New York wanted to hurt you and Derek for being so enthusiastic."
Addison made a face at Richard, covering any reaction she might have felt at the mention of Derek and her at Christmas. When Addison had been married to Derek, Christmas had been their favorite time of year; it had been their time of year. "Well, this year you have Izzie Stevens to be enthusiastic instead of me," Addison said, shaking her head. "I completely forgot about it this year until she reminded me. Besides," she added bitterly, "It's just a little hard to be in the Christmas spirit at the moment."
Richard nodded in agreement. Ever since his wife had left him, though they were not divorced, Richard had been having trouble imagining the holidays. Adele had always said that he hated coming home for Christmas because it tore him away from his precious hospital, which couldn't function without him there, but in reality that had been far from the truth. Richard loved his job, but he also loved the holidays that he and Adele had shared, and he loved those few moments where they could just be together. "What are you doing for Christmas, Addie?" he asked.
"You'll never guess," she said, smiling slightly. "I'm going to Christmas dinner with Dr. Torres, Bailey and her husband, Burke, a bunch of interns, and my ex-husband. Sounds fun, doesn't it?" Had Addison not looked quite so optimistic about the whole situation, the Chief would have grimaced. Frankly, the whole situation sounded to him like it would be exceedingly uncomfortable for Addison. She didn't wait for him to answer, perhaps because she didn't want to hear his opinion, instead choosing to ask him a question in return. "What are you doing?"
"I'm not sure." Richard shrugged, trying to make it look like it was no big deal, but, just as Addison couldn't fool him when she was upset, he couldn't fool Addison. It was one of those things about knowing each other for so many years that sometimes you loved, and other times you hated.
"Have you spoken to Adele recently?" Addison asked.
"No, no I haven't. I wouldn't want to bother her over something as stupid as Christmas," Richard said. Most of the time Addison knew when the Chief was being serious, but right now, Addison wasn't sure.
Closing her catalogue, with only one call left she needed to make before all of her Christmas shopping was finished, Addison turned to the Chief. "Richard, you have to speak to her at some point," Addison pointed out. "And the holidays…she might be mad at you, furious even, and she might hate you, but if you don't take any actions at all, all you're doing is making it worse. Besides, I'll bet she's lonely for you." Addison said this half out of support, and half because she sincerely believed it. Adele had loved Richard so much that, even when she had known that he was having an affair with Ellis Grey, she had looked the other way, because she couldn't imagine life without him; when he broke up with Ellis, and Ellis subsequently left, it was Adele who had made sure that Richard was okay, and cured him of his drinking problem. Adele loved Richard in much the same way that Addison loved Derek—the only difference was that the relationship between Richard and Adele was still salvageable.
Richard shrugged. "You have work to do," he reminded her. "I can't have my star surgeon slacking off." With that as a dismissal, Richard walked away. Addison thought about calling after him and telling him that he was being stupid, but luckily thought better of it—Richard did not like his authority questioned any more than Addison did. Though she was still determined to be the new, professional Addison who did not spend her time fixing the love lives of others, Addison decided that that resolution would have to take place after one last call.
After she had made her final call, reserving a beautiful blanket which she would pick up after her shift ended, Addison went through her contacts on her blackberry, stopping only when she arrived at the entry for "Adele." Addison dialed the number, spoke briefly to Adele, who was shocked to hear from her, and arranged to go to Adele's house for dinner tonight.
That night, Addison found herself in Richard's driveway. After a moment of hesitation, Addison rang the doorbell, and was promptly greeted by Adele. "Addison!" Adele exclaimed, leading Addison into the front hallway. "What a pleasure to see you. How are you doing?"
Addison sighed, hating that inevitable question, and bade her time by thoroughly examining the hallway. It was funny, really, how Richard and Adele's house seemed so much the same as it had when they were together, yet simultaneously so different. It reminded her a bit of when she visited the brownstone in New York. "I'm doing really well, thanks," she answered eventually. "And you?"
Adele took Addison's coat and hung it up, carefully avoiding Addison's eyes. "I'm…okay," she said eventually. "Richard and I are thinking about getting a divorce, as I'm sure that you've heard." Addison had heard the rumors, but hoped that they were not true. She really wanted to believe that Adele and Richard could fix their relationship.
They avoided all topics even remotely personal all throughout dinner. Adele was a very good cook, and when Addison complemented her on her cooking, she regaled Addison with the preparation of all of the dishes. Once they had exhausted the topic of food, they went on to discuss current events, book they had read recently, friends they had heard from, and even the weather. They managed to make it through the whole dinner on those topics, but there was only so much time they could spend discussing the weather before they simply ran out of things to say. "So…" Addison began after a few minutes of pained silence, but was silenced when Adele held up her hand, gesturing to stop.
"Addison, let's not pretend we don't know why you're here any longer," Adele said, her voice kind yet sad. From any other person Addison would have found this announcement rather condescending, but it was Adele, and Addison was unable to be act properly mad, indignant, or surprised.
"Yes," Addison responded simply, and folded her hands in her lap.
"I've heard that, recently, you've taken it as one of your top priorities to fix others."
Addison rolled her eyes—not this discussion again, she thought to herself. "I'm a surgeon, Adele. That's what I do. I fix people."
Adele looked at Addison as if she was disappointed with her. "Addie, I don't mean that way," she said sternly. "I mean the whole getting involved with the love lives of other surgeons and fixing them. I mean going out of your way to track down people in accounting who you barely know to help console them on the loss of a parent."
"You must have been talking to Miranda," Addison replied bitterly. "Besides," she added defensively, "Despite what Miranda says, it wasn't out of my way, and I was going down to accounting anyhow. Nobody will ever believe me, though, because I think I'm one of only a few people in the whole hospital who bothered to figure out where it is, let alone visit the people who work there. I understand what you are getting at, though."
"This isn't fixable, Addison. It isn't possible to fix what you are trying now to fix."
"Are you sure?" Addison wanted Adele to be wrong so badly that it physically hurt. There were two reasons why Addison didn't want their marriage to be over, one reason selfish, and the other not. The one she told other people, the not selfish one, was that she just wanted her friends to be happy again, wanted them to be able to work through their problems. The selfish reason, the one she would barely admit to herself, was that, were Richard and Adele's marriage to fail, one of the things she had relied on to remain constant, to be stable and unchanging despite how messed up she might be, would be gone.
"I've been married to Richard since before you were in college," Adele informed Addison. "I spent my whole marriage waiting. I waited for him to finish medical school, I waited for him to leave Ellis Grey, I waited for him to come home at night, and I waited for him to notice that our relationship was failing. He had so many opportunities, so many, and he took none of them because he didn't notice, and didn't care to try to notice. There are other people out there who can care about me, and pay attention to me, and not always take my presence for granted."
Addison closed her eyes, willing what she knew to be the truth to not be so. She now knew how Derek must have felt the night that he walked in on her and his best friend, Mark, in bed together, the moment of epiphany and happiness in your realization, followed by the immediate hurt. Shutting her eyes tighter, Addison breathed deeply for a few minutes to calm herself down.
Finally, opening her eyes, Addison had to ask although, just as Derek had known she was sleeping with another man, Addison already knew the answer. "How long?" she questioned quietly.
"Close to two years," Adele responded shortly. "I'm asking Richard for a divorce tomorrow—I can't continue this charade any longer, and your presence reassures me of this." Addison stared at her friend in shock. How could Adele do this? Did she not understand how Richard still felt about her? Adele was always so devoted to Richard…only, had it all been a lie? Despite all of those questions, there was one that bugged Addison the most—was it natural that Adele seemed so serene about all of this?
Addison should have known—she knew she should have noticed how distant Adele and Richard had been when she first moved to Seattle. How could she, Addison Shepherd…no, she reminded herself sternly, Addison Montgomery…miss something this important? She knew the answer, and, though she knew it shouldn't, it hurt twice as badly as the knowledge that Richard and Adele were getting divorced.
"Okay," Addison said, rather louder than she had intended.
"Do you hate me?" Adele asked Addison, taking her by surprise.
"No." Fighting the urge to cry, Addison found herself having trouble speaking anything aside from monosyllabic words. Blinking very fast so that she did not cry, Addison continued, "Of course not."
Unable to continue speaking any more for fear of breaking down, Addison sat on her chair, staring at the wall as if nothing were more interesting. Once she had gotten her emotions under control, she looked at Adele. Though Addison didn't say anything, Adele knew. "You still love him, don't you?" she asked.
"I'm dating a wonderful, kind, unmarried man named Steven," Addison answered. Knowing she was avoiding the real question of whether or not she loved Derek, Adele waited a moment incase Addison wanted to volunteer the information. When it became clear that Addison was unable to answer, Adele tactfully said, "How about desert?"
Thinking that this was the best suggestion that Adele had had all night, Addison and Adele went to the kitchen and got apple pie. They resumed their previous occupation of conversations about nothing, and pretty soon it was time for Addison to leave. Addison thanked Adele for a wonderful evening, got in her car, and drove home.
At home, Addison turned on all of the lights in the house, for some reason wanting the house as bright as humanly possible, and then went into her room and closed the door. She put on sweatpants and an old shirt of Derek's that she slept in and hadn't given back when they divorced. When that was done, Addison sat on her bed and stared at her blankets, struggling to really process what she had learned.
Despite her struggles, Addison remained in a state of shock, a state where, blissfully, there were no emotions, no nothing, only her red comforter. She wanted to cry, to just let her emotions out, but she couldn't, which was torment in itself. Suddenly she found herself walking, as if in a trance, to her dresser, opening the top left drawer, and rummaging through it until she found the small box she was looking for. The box which looked like just an ordinary jewelry box, but really it was so much more than just a jewelry box.
Though she knew it was a terrible idea, Addison opened the box slowly and took out two rings—her engagement ring, and her wedding ring. Unable to feel any emotions, Addison stared at the rings, suddenly and shamefully aware that this was longer about Adele and Richard's failed marriage.
Callie pulled into the driveway of the house she shared with Addison. "The lights are on," George said from the front passenger seat, stating the obvious.
"Remember, I share my house with Addison?" Callie reminded gently. This was only the second time that George had been to her home, and Callie did not want any mishaps. Not that she expected any—George was really very good about the fact that his girlfriend shared a house with his boss, and the fact that his boss was the woman who had, temporarily, broken one of his best friends.
George snorted. "How can I not remember?" he asked her, but not bitterly. "It was a bit of a shock last time to learn that you live with Dr. Montgomery…er, um, I mean, Addison," George finished. Callie raised her eyebrows at George, who stammered on. "Not a bad shock, just a shock. I mean, wouldn't you be surprised if you found your boss at my house?"
Callie giggled, got out of the car, locked it, and went around to kiss George. "George," she reminded, "I have seen one of my bosses at your house, and yes, it was a shock." Callie thought of the time that, leaving George's room in the early morning to use the bathroom, she had run into McDreamy coming out of Meredith's room. Both of them had been less than optimally dressed, both only wearing underwear. It had been awkward, but they had an unspoken agreement that they would never, ever mention it to anybody.
"Right," George said. How he had forgotten how often he woke up to find McDreamy in the kitchen making breakfast was beyond him. They entered the house together, holding hands, and Callie was amazed by how many lights were on. Callie lead George into the kitchen to make something to drink, preferably hot chocolate, provided they had the ingredients, when it dawned on her exactly how bright the house was.
"I think every single light in the whole house is on!" she exclaimed. "Look at this! Even the light over the counters in the kitchen is on. I never even knew there was a light over the counters in the kitchen! I wonder what caused Addison to turn all of the lights on." George shrugged, just as curious as Callie.
After a few minutes of turning around in circles to look at the kitchen, George finally exclaimed, "Why does it feel as if somebody died?"
Callie poured her finished hot chocolate into two glasses, one for her and one for George, trying to remain carefree, but unable to do anything other than stare at her drink. "I'm sorry, I have to go find Addison," Callie apologized, and George nodded. "I'll just take a minute." Callie practically ran up the stairs and to Addison's room.
The door was shut, but Callie could see that the light was on. "Addison?" she called, knocking on the door. There was no response. "Addison?" she called again, this time louder. There was still no response. Fed up and worried, Callie swung the door open.
What she saw caused her to gasp. Addison was sitting on her bed, a look of complete blankness on her face. She was staring, as if possessed, at two rings, which she was holding as if the whole world depended on their safe keeping. "Are you…are you all right?" Callie asked, but Addison didn't even look up, so she sat on the bed next to Addison. When, after a minute, Addison still did not even acknowledge her presence, Callie got worried.
"Addison, you're scaring me," Callie admitted, her voice trembling. It terrified her to see Addison like this, so blank and emotionless, yet somehow also so hurt and scared. This admission of Callie caused Addison to look up.
"Sorry, Callie, I didn't notice you," Addison said, smiling apologetically.
"Are you okay?" Callie asked.
"I'm good," Addison said. It had become a rehearsed line for her, and it was a practically automatic response.
"I mean it, Addison. Are you okay? You scared me there—I knocked and called your name and talked to you, and you didn't seem to realize that I was here at all."
"I'm just really preoccupied," Addison told Callie sincerely. "Sorry if I worried you."
"It's okay," Callie said, getting off of Addison's bed. "But, listen, if you want to talk, I'm here, okay?" Addison nodded. She was grateful, really, but she wasn't ready to open up to anybody just yet. Callie left the room to report back to George that Addison was weird, but would be fine, and Addison put her rings back safely in their box, stuck it in the back of her dresser, and then picked up the phone and dialed Miranda's number.
A groggy male voice answered the phone. "Hello?" the voice asked.
"Hi Tucker," Addison said in her politest voice, "I'm really sorry to bother you so late, but can I speak to Miranda? It's kind of urgent." Tucker agreed—he was forever indebted to Addison for helping his wife when he was in surgery and there was a code black—and momentarily Miranda was on the phone.
"What was so important that it couldn't wait?" A sleepy, but furious Miranda demanded.
"I had dinner with Adele…" Addison began, but was cut off.
"Oh, Addison, I'm so sorry," the voice of Miranda said over the phone, instantly nicer. "I tried to stop you, I tried to tell you that you were going to hurt yourself, but you wouldn't listen. Are you okay?"
When asked the question of if she was okay, Addison was faced with a choice. She could give her customary answer that she was good, or she could say that she was fine, and would be okay, or she could tell the truth. Addison decided for the latter. "I don't know. I don't feel anything. I'm numb, completely numb, like when they give you Novocain before oral surgery. And she says that she's going to tell him tomorrow, Miranda, tomorrow. She's going to ask for a divorce two days before Christmas. And I understand it, I do, and I'm not mad at her, I can't be mad at Adele, that much I know for sure, but I feel so responsible, and I think that when I start feeling emotions, I'm going to feel terrible for both of them. For their inability to communicate, for their inability to notice what was happening until it was too late. Just like with me and Derek."
Miranda was struck by how emotionless Addison's voice was, despite the long, rambling sentences; rather like Izzie's voice just after Denny had died. "Addison, it's not your fault, and you are not responsible," Miranda reminded Addison, trying to not get too emotional and cry on the phone. When she was tired, anything was possible. Not knowing what else to say, Miranda repeated, "I'm so sorry," before adding, "Do you want me to come over to your house now?"
Addison shook her head as she answered, "No, I'll be fine." There was a long silence, and finally Addison spoke. "I'm going to miss the numbness when it goes away."
"Yeah," Miranda agreed.