"Who needs help, my lady?" Elladan feigned dumb without missing a beat. He knew exactly and perfectly well what she meant.

"Who needs help?" Sasha repeated mockingly, "my butt needs a three hour massage after the work it's put in today. No, your elbowing fit earlier, and your tree talk… That stuff!"

"Does anything get past you, my lady?"

"Nope!" she crossed her arms triumphantly. "Well, sometimes. Then when I find out about it, I'm not very happy. So, let's nip this in the bud… What's going on?"

Elladan shrugged at his brother. What's the worst that could happen? If they kept both eyes on her at all times, it would be a difficult task alerting the enemy. Then again, if they did not keep her happy she could alert the enemy anyway and disaster would happen on swift wings.

"What do you know about Sauron the Deceiver and the One Ring?" It was Elrohir who spoke up.

"Ah yes," She countered. "My right hand man. Him and I go way, way back. In fact, we were engaged once." She scowled and threw up her hands, "nothing. All that means nothing to me. I told you I have no idea about anything here and I mean it."

Elladan ignored her outburst and picked up where his brother had left off. "Sauron had crafted Nine rings of power, given to selected individuals of each race. Three to the Elves, Seven to the Dwarves, and Nine to Men."

"Dwarves? You have dwarves here? Are they like Munchkins?"

Elrohir elbowed her.

"Anyway, that's more than nine." She corrected herself, trying to stay on topic.

"That is because men are weak. At least that is ada's claim."

"Who?"

"Our father. Anyway, may I continue?"

She nodded, and held her hand over her mouth to prevent anymore unnecessary outbursts.

"3,000 years ago, there was an epic battle to protect the freedom of Middle-earth, where you are now."

//Thanks!//

"Now," Elrohir was starting to get into the story, "Sauron forged one ring, a master ring to control all the others. During this fight, his hand was cut off and the ring passed to another."

"Ok-ay, so let me get this straight. This bad guy makes rings, gives them away, but keeps the main one for himself so they other groups will have to obey him?"

"Affirmative."

"So this Sauron's a bad guy?"

"That would be correct, my lady. Anyway, there is more."

"Go on."

"For many thousands of years, the ring was hidden and dormant. Passing through just two owners. But that is no more. Sauron is tied to this ring, and the ring is in tact. He has returned and he is seeking what's his."

"Which would spell the end of freedom as we know it."

"So what?" Sasha crossed her arms eying the elves. "You need someone with enough balls to beat the snot out of this guy or something?"

She was met with raised eyebrows.

"I mean, uh, you need someone willing to fight this person?"

"Well, not just *someone*, many someone's. This will not be an easy task."

"None of my work ever is," she sighed. "Alright. I'm in. Let's kick some ass and be done with it."

"My lady, females do not participate in such dangerous battle. It is improper."

"Be that as it may, El, but I am not from here so my lack of knowledge on your morals and whatnot can't be blamed on me. I don't know any better" she winked. "Besides, no one messes with freedom on my watch. Call it the American in me. So, where do we go?"

"You are going to gather your strength by laying down to rest. Now." Elladan commanded pushing her down my the shoulders.

"Alright, alright," Sasha grumbled, obeying his command. "But when I wake up -again- I'll think of more questions."