On the final evening before Lucy and Adam's departure, Robin joined us for dinner. He was wearing the cravat I had bought him and I felt a pang of jealousy when I heard Lucy complement him on it. I did not hear his reply as Adam was just offering me his arm to go into the dining room. I made every attempt to be at my most gracious. I smiled and laughed and nearly sparkled as much as Lucy during dinner. When Adam suggested we went for a moonlit walk, I accepted without delay and ran to get my wrap without thinking why he would want to do that.
We all walked into the garden together. Adam and I walked as far as the pergola in which Uncle and Loveday had been married and we sat on the bench there, watching the moon hiding and then reappearing as the clouds passed by. The air was filled with the scent of late summer roses and I suddenly thought how much I would like to dance. This made me think of Robin and I wondered where he and Lucy were. I was about to voice this when I suddenly became aware of the fact that Adam was kneeling on one knee in front of me.
I stiffened in surprise and dismay and exclaimed
"Oh do get up, Adam. You look ridiculous down there!" He ignored me outburst as he took my hands,
"Dearest Maria." He started. I just continued to stare at him in horror. "I know this might come as a shock to you, but I feel that I must share this with you before I leave Moonacre." He raised one of my hands to his mouth and kissed it. I closed my eyes in an attempt to shut out the sight. If I could, I would have covered my ears too. "I am in love with you, Maria. I have been since the first day I set eyes on you in London. I know that this may be too soon and I know that you may feel that you are still too young, but I want to marry you. I want to share my life with you. You have to know how I feel. I want..."
I opened my eyes and raised my hand to check his speech. Yes, it was a shock. I didn't want any of this. I liked Adam. He was just like his sister, beautiful, kind and considerate. But marry him. Oh no! I hadn't thought of him like that.
He could obviously read some of this in my face, and in his kind and generous way he helped me to respond. He stood, reached out and held my chin in his fingers as he looked down at me,
"I have startled you, haven't I? I am sorry, Maria. You don't need to answer me now, just promise me you will think about it. We could have a very happy life together. I would love to take you and show you the world."
I nodded. I couldn't trust myself to speak and I would be sure to think about it. I didn't want to marry Adam, but if Robin and Lucy were going to get married, what else was there for me to do? Perhaps I really did have to consider his proposal carefully. I knew that Adam would always be relied upon to look after me. Another sleepless night was on the cards.
"Shall we go in?" Adam suggested after we had remained in silence a few minutes, "it's starting to get a little cold and I wouldn't want you to catch a chill." He held out his arm to me and I took it without hesitation. He was always considerate, even in the face of potential rejection.
We returned to the house without talking and I was surprised to see Lucy there alone.
"Where's Robin?" Adam asked her. I didn't hear the first part of her reply but then she said,
"He sent his apology for leaving without saying goodbye, but it was unavoidable." She turned to me, "Maria, I am sorry, but I really would like to go to bed now. I am so very tired tonight; I don't know what the matter is with me."
I didn't mind at all, the faster we retired, the quicker I could get away from Adam and his adoring glances. I walked with her to her room and she hugged me at the door.
"Are you happy here, Maria?" She suddenly asked me. I was a little taken aback and I didn't really know how to answer her. She looked hard at me and I eventually replied,
"Yes, well, I was."
"What changed?" she continued to question me. I really couldn't answer that question. How could I tell her that her arrival had destroyed my happiness?
"I don't know." I said slowly. It was a time when honesty was not the best policy. I shrugged and smiled at her. She went into her room and then turned back and spoke so softly, I had to strain to hear it,
"He does love you, you know, he just doesn't know how to show you so that you will believe him." I stared at her and she smiled a little sadly at me before gently closing her door.
"I know your brother loves me," I muttered to myself as I walked off to bed. "He has just embarrassed me by telling me so." I turned around sharply as I was sure I heard her reply,
"No, I'm not talking about Adam, I mean Robin." But there was no one there.