(A/N: Here's chapter ten! Wow! Chapter ten? I shocked myself! Haha, anyways, review and let me know how you're liking it! Receive virtual kisses from your favorite Outsider! Special thanks to CamRox2010~)

I woke up with an intense pain flowing across my entire body. The center of all the pain was my right thigh. I tried to squirm out of the uncomfortable position In was in and yelped out in pain, causing me to grab my thigh, making it hurt worse. I winced just to move until I heard one set of footsteps and a strong hand grip around my upper arm. I looked up to see Steve's worried face staring down at me.

"Steve? What the fuck happened?" I said probably a bit more snarly than I wanted. He was a bit taken back until he responded.

"Becca, you got shot..." I looked down to my leg to see it wrapped in some bandage and blood soaking through.

"What? Who? When? How?"

He sat down on the couch next to me and spoke softly, "You got shot my Joshua in the back of Darry's truck on the way back from the girl's houses.." He answered all of my questions.

"Where is everyone?"

"DX."

"What? Why?"

"The truck has a bullet hole in it now.. They asked me to stay."

"Of all people, you, the mechanic, stay?" He closed his eyes and shook his head smirking like he just realized what they were pulling or something. Shit.

"Steve, we really need to talk." His face fell and worry flooded his eyes. I sighed as did he. "I know you like me Steve."

"That ass-hole," he spat. I guessed he referred to Dally.

"Don't blame him, Steve. It's fine. We just need to talk this out."

"What's there to talk about? I like my best-friend like an idiot. I know I can't like you, Becca. It's just, the day you walked in the door, you'd changed into such a..." he stopped and looked me up and down pausing at my chest then back up at my eyes, "Woman," he finished. I blushed. "Don't get me wrong, you were beautiful as a kid, but now... now you're gorgeous."

"Steve-" I was cut off by Steve wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into a kiss. I tried to resist but his lips came crashing down onto mine. I felt like a slut because I kind of enjoyed the kiss. It felt like it was natural and there was nothing wrong with it. I kissed back momentarily until I pulled away and took a couple steps back. I couldn't believe I just did that! I just made out with Steve! "No, Steve I'm sorry."

He shook his head, "So am I."

"Don't be. Trust me, if I didn't love Dally-" I stopped myself. What in the hell did I just say? I love Dally? He stopped in his tracks and clenched his jaw.

"Dally? You fucking love Dally?"

"Steve, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me-"

"Save it. I'm finding that son of a bitch."

"Steve, no! Don't! Goddammit Steve, I'm sorry, alright? But it has NOTHING to do with him!"

"Obviously not." And with that, he stormed off towards the door when it flew open, revealing the gang.

Dally looked at me then Steve, then something in his eyes sparked up. Anger. "Dallas, no."

"Shut up, Becca."

"Dally!" He shot me a glance that told me to shut it. I did, because even though I knew he wouldn't do anything, the look in his eyes scared me. I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it. In a split second, Steve and Dally were face to face and Pony was with me, holding me back.

"The fuck you do, Randle?"

"I could ask you the same thing, Winston. You think you scare me?"

"Fuck you, Randle. You know I'll beat your ass."

"Guys, stop it! Just fucking stop it! Jesus Christ!" I screamed out, tears were now consistently streaming down my face,

"Boys, look at Becca right now. You really wanna fucking make things worse? Shut up and take into consideration how the wounded girl is feeling," I heard Pony scream. I buried my head in his chest and the room went quiet. I could feel all eyes on me, burning into the back of my head, but I didn't care. I felt safe in Pony's arms, and that's all I wanted. To feel safe. And right now, I couldn't feel safe anywhere else.

I turned around to face the gang who were all staring at me. "I think it'd be best for you two to leave. Now." They all stared at me in shock. "I fucking live here and I don't want to see either of you! Get out!" I was screaming now and they backed up. "Don't you dare go out there and fight either," I warned strictly. They walked outside and didn't come back. I sat on the couch in Ponyboy's lap and sobbed.

I loved Ponyboy. Not like I loved Dally, but as a brother. He understood everything. I went to him in my time of need. Every time, even as kids, he was my support system. We walked into his room and I layed on his chest while we talked.

We talked for a couple of hours until Ponyboy said something that kind of scared me. "Becca, if I tell you something, you promise not to tell anyone?" I nodded slowly and he cleared his throat, "Well, now I can, um, kind of talk bull, with the guys..." My eyes widened and I snickered.

"What? When? Who? I need details Ponyboy!" I know that sounds gross, but I mean, we're like siblings, we didn't hide anything from eachother. Anything. "Damn Pony, you did it before me? That's sad." He scowled at me, "Not like that! It's just, I'm two years older than you, ya know?" He nodded. "Alright, details, now!"

"Well it was with-umm- it was with Julie." Tears formed in his eyes. I hugged him tightly.

"I'm sorry Pone. But really continue the story." He nodded and continued.

"Okay, well, it was at her house. You know when we all went to the movies and then walked the girls home? And I was late?" I shook my head and laughed.

"Jesus, Pone! What a cougar!" His ears turned bright red and I burst out laughing, "Sorry, sorry, continue?"

"Alright, we were making out, ya know? Normal stuff, then I slipped my hand up her shirt, and we started.. touching." He paused and looked down at me, my eyes staring into his and he chuckled then sighed lightly, "Then she didn't stop me... it was down to just undergarments when I slipped off her bra. She let me. I didn't force her. And then we kind of, well, did it."

I sighed, "Well, did you...enjoy it at least?"

"Oh man, Becca. It was the best. I've never felt like that before. I think... I think I love her, Bec."

"That's great, Ponyboy! Can I tell you something?" He nodded.

"I told Steve that I loved Dally." He froze and stopped playing with my hair.

"What?" I nodded and looked up at his face. It had a confused and worried look on his face.

"You know Steve, kind of-"

"Yes Ponyboy, That's why I told him. But I don't know. I don't know if I do. I just... it's confusing Pony."

"I can't relate personally but I can imagine. Having Randle and Winston both love you? Tough stuff right there." I froze. Did he say Winston loves me?

"Wait.. Winston... loves me?" His face scrunched up and he muttered something under his breath that sounded like 'I'm dead.'

"Yeah-Yeah." I sat up.

"Shit."

"What?"

"This can't be happening." I started thinking back to that day that I persuaded Dally to tell me about his life.

"It all started the day my mom died.." I just sat and listened as he continued.

"She killed herself and left me note. I was only six, so I didn't understand it too much. But it said that she couldn't 'handle' my dad anymore. She said she was sorry and all this bull-shit. I didn't buy it. I felt like she wanted to leave me. That was the day my dad took up beating me. I just let him too. He was telling me he was doing it to 'straighten me out' and stuff. I actually believed the bastard."

"Language."

"Right, sorry. I actually believed the dude. Everyday of my life he 'straightened me out' and that just made it worse. I saw too much. We moved to New York and I met a lot of bad people. We came back to Tulsa a couple of months later and I'd seen it all. And I mean all. I saw deaths, rapes, murders, all of the above. Moving back to the house where my mom died killed me, so I ran away. I was trying to get out of Oklahoma when I ran into Darry who was playing foot-ball with all his friends when they asked me to join. I agreed and that's how I met the gang. But since i was a kid, I hardened. I always wish that bitch didn't leave me alone with my father. Because now, I don't have a dad. All because of her. I fucking hate her, Bec. I fucking hate her." Tears were now streaming down Dally's face. I was shocked. I'd never seen Dally cry before. I pulled him into a hug and he didn't resist.

That was the day I realized that he wasn't a robot, he was a little boy with a heart that had been broken one too many times.

I was brought back into reality with the wave of Ponyboy's hand in my face. "Becca, it's dinner time, you gotta get off my legs, they're numb." I got up quickly and apologized. He shook his head, "It's alright." He started walking into the hall when I called him back.

"Pony, wait. I don't know what to do."

"Becca, the only thing I can say is, do what feels right. Okay? You told me that when you kissed Steve, it felt right, but when you kissed Dally, it felt right too. It's going to be hard if you claim to have feelings for both of them. Just make the choice that you feel is right, Bec. That's all I can say." I nodded. Ponyboy could be so...wise sometimes. It's like he was twenty years older than me. I loved him for that though. We walked out into the kitchen to see normal colored chicken and rice.

"So, Soda didn't poison us tonight?"

"No, Pone. I made it," Ingrid said. He nodded and shoveled the food that was on his plate into his mouth. I wasn't hungry after all that happened so I pushed my food around on my plate.

"Becca, I know you aren't feeling so good, but you gotta eat. You've lost a lot of weight." I did? I looked down at my clothes and realized I had shrunk down a size. I guess all the years of Josh pestering me about my weight made me change, I can't recall that last time I ate something. I sighed and a few tears slid down my cheeks. Ponyboy came up closer to me and wiped them away, whispering something in my ear.

"Becca, you're alright. Josh can't hurt you anymore. Alright? You're beautiful, not fat. Eat some food, you look sick." I nodded and wiped away all the tears. I brought the fork up to my mouth and took a bite, only to rush to the bathroom and throw up the little food I ingested. Pony was instantly behind me and was rubbing my back in circles.

"What's wrong with me, Ponyboy? I can't even eat food! I'm fucked up!"

"Becca, you're not fucked up, alright? Like I said, you're beautiful."

"I don't mean looks, Ponyboy. I'm talking about WHO I AM! Look at me! I eat one bite of chicken and I puke."

"That doesn't mean anything, Becca. Alright?" I nodded, even though I wasn't buying it.

I walked out into the living room to see that Dally and Steve had returned and were both glaring at me from the couch. I squeezed my eyes shut so tight I felt like I was going to tip over from the dizziness. I could feel a tear release from my eyes and I left it there, not caring if they saw me cry.

I could hear Dally and Steve talking about me. But I didn't care. I blocked it out.

I ran back into the bathroom and shut the door softly behind me. I looked at the bath and I knew what I was going to do. Turning the knob of the bathtub, icy water streamed out. I turned the knob all the way over.

I ran the water so hot that I seared my skin to a light red color, but I didn't care. I found a sharp object and created little slits on my wrists. I laughed at how low I had stooped. No tears were shed.

Just my dignity.

(A/N: So? Becca's going crazy now? Oh no! Haha, anyways. Review and let me know what you think of it! Was it a bad decision to that? Will someone find out? What'll happen to Becca? You comment and let me know! Do it for the gang! ALSO: Go to my profile and take my "Who's Your favorite Outsider" poll! Review for Johnny and another thanks to CamRox2010~)