Hey, lovely readers!
Back with another update, referencing something happening between series three and series four that I just completely made up, though part of the idea was loosely based on another story here on FanFiction called, "The Secret," by Minusmelle13. The author of that story puts a much more light-hearted, humorous spin on things than I do as you'll read, which makes for a terrific and hilarious story overall. Check it out if you want—it really is a great read.
Disclaimer: don't own Merlin. The usual.
Hope you enjoy, and thanks for reading!
Arthur and Guinevere: Missing Moments
Chapter 10
Present Day:
"Guinevere and I once planned to elope," Arthur says, and Merlin feels like he's fallen over, he's so shocked.
"What?" He says breathlessly. "You've never told me that." WHY did he never tell me that!? is Merlin's next immediate thought, but he keeps it to himself.
"We planned to run away, get married, and leave Camelot."
"Leave Camelot?" Merlin cries out. "Dear God, Arthur—
"And we would have too, we almost did," Arthur says. "We planned to meet at the stables and ride a couple hundred miles to this little chapel Guinevere knew of. It's where her parents were married—
"Surely you saw how impossible that was," Merlin interrupts. "The second he realized you were missing, Uther would've sent Leon and the patrol after you. And surely if they'd found both of you, Gwen would've surely been killed—
"No more, Merlin," Arthur demands loudly at the magician's last statement, the mere even imaginative possibility of his wife hurt—or worse—too much for him to bear. They sit in silence for a few long moments. "Besides," Arthur finally says. "It didn't work anyway. And, God, I was so ready for it, so terribly ready for Guinevere to be my wife, so ready for us not to have to hide our relationship anymore—
"Even then?" Merlin asks, his eyes wide. "Way back then, even before your father passed—you both were ready to be married to each other?"
"Yes, Merlin," Arthur says quietly in his knowing, nonchalant Arthur way.
"And you had to wait all that time—
"Yes, because, as I keep trying to tell you, it didn't happen in the end." A wistful look passes over the King's face, but Merlin notices that the look is clouded with sadness.
Flashback:
Arthur and Gwen got over halfway to the chapel when Gwen suddenly stopped her horse, jumped off it. She was crying, Arthur slowed his horse too and jumped to the ground. He put his arms around her. They didn't talk for a few moments. Finally, she lifted her head from the King's chest and caressed his face and tried to smile through her tears but couldn't because she told him, "Arthur, we can't get married."
Present Day:
"Why?" Merlin cried out, glued to the story in the way of a little kid. "Why not?"
"This is the part I love and hate: she did it for me, Merlin," Arthur says. "Not for herself. She told me..."
Flashback:
"Because we have to return to Camelot," Gwen had said, "We have to. I-I wish to marry you, Arthur, truly I do, more than I've ever wished for anything in my life, honestly, but—we can't."
"And why in the hell not?" Arthur had demanded harshly. "I love you, Guinevere, I love you more than I can properly put into words—
"Because you're to be King," Gwen told him, looking up at him with so much love in her eyes his chest had hurt, making him fall silent. "We can't just leave. We can't betray the people like that—
Present Day:
"And what did you say?" Merlin all but yells. He is surprised to see the King's face contorted with the difficulty.
"I tried to persuade her otherwise, of course," Arthur says, "telling her that it would all be all right, that someday, long into the future, we could possibly return to Camelot and I could accept the crown and rule as King, with her as my Queen, of course…"
Flashback:
"God, Arthur," Gwen had said to him, shaking her head, half in frustration, half in sadness. "Please, I'm begging you: do not make this harder than it already is."
"Guinevere—
"The people need you," Gwen had offered next, sniffling tearfully. "Your father needs you."
"I need you," Arthur said, his voice thick, harsh, his hands on her shoulders.
"And you'll have me," Gwen said. "We will get married… someday."
"How on earth do you know that?" Arthur exploded. "We're throwing away the one chance we have!"
"My God, Arthur, think about it for a moment," Gwen said, trying her hardest to keep her voice level. Her insides were shaking with anger at the unfortunate state of it all. "Just take a second to think about this: Can you imagine how difficult it would be? Even if we did get married tonight, we would still have to keep up appearances in Camelot and not be seen in public together, and when we would be together, there'd be a good possibility I or you or both of us could get killed for it, me more than you being a servant, of course—
"I would never let that happen," Arthur declared.
"I know," Gwen had said in a soft voice. "I know you'll always protect me." She caressed his face with her hand. "But what about your father?"
"What does my father have to do with any of this, Guinevere? This is about you and me, no one else."
"As it should be," she agreed. "But what if he sets up another arranged marriage, as he did with Princess Elena? What about that? You would have to make up some sort of crazy excuse why you wouldn't go along with it, and surely he'd catch on that something was amiss sooner or later after you did that a couple of times, and oh God, I would be in the throne room, pouring water and have to listen to him rattle off eligible women for you to court, and—oh, God, I couldn't do it." She bowed her head, crying against Arthur's chest for a few more seconds before looking up at him.
"We can't get married, Guinevere," Arthur finally said, the words difficult for him to say, fraught with sadness, with defeat, with helplessness. "You're right, as always."
"I wish I wasn't," she said, crying still. The couple stayed standing together for a while. "So," Gwen said, clearing her throat, trying to stifle all the rest of her tears. "We will hide here in the woods and return to Camelot in the morning as though nothing's changed." Arthur nods, knowing that's the only thing they can do, the kiss they shared then marred with sadness, regret, remorse at what they wanted so desperately and weren't able to have.
Present Day:
"…And so that's what we did," Arthur says to Merlin, folding his arms across his chest. "We slept on the forest floor and came back to Camelot before first light, no one ever knowing anything had happened at all."
"Really?" Merlin can't imagine it. "That really happened between you two."
"Yes, Merlin." Arthur suddenly looks past him to see his wife come through the Royal Chamber doors. "Ah, Guinevere," he says. "Just the person I wished to see." He holds out his hand in a gesture that guides her to sitting on the edge of their desk, Arthur in a chair behind it with Merlin sitting in a chair next to the desk.
"Merlin, are you all right?" Gwen asks then, peering at her friend with concern. "What have you two been talking about?"
"I finally told Merlin about the night you and I ran away to get married." Gwen squeezes her eyes shut at the memory.
"I'm glad it worked out the way it did, in the end," she finally says. "Bad times and all, though we both weren't happy about it at the time."
"You were the one who made me see sense, Guinevere," Arthur says, reaching over to squeeze her hand. "If you hadn't stopped us, I would've ridden right to that chapel and married you that night."
"I know." At that Gwen smiles her loveliest smile. She did know. He'd been angry with her for a while, but when morning came, he realized, as he'd said, that she'd given up their chance for him, not for herself, and that made him love her more than ever. "I never for a second doubted that. And I do love you so awfully much, both for who you were then and who you are now, you know that?"
"I do," he says, and he leans over and kisses her on the mouth.
"Truly, what would you have done?" Merlin asks seriously. "Where would you have lived? How would you have managed food? We all know Arthur can't cook to save his life—
At that, Arthur elbows his servant in the ribs.
"We actually had managed to find this little abandoned shack," the King explains, "and we had spent some time smuggling items there, like bedding and food and things."
"We were so in love it made us stupid," Gwen says, glancing over at Arthur.
"Well, I'm certain then that one thing hasn't changed," Merlin says. "Arthur must really love you, Gwen, because he's plenty stupid to this day." Arthur elbows his servant in the ribs again while Gwen laughs at his comment.
"We truly believed we could live there on our own, and that things would just work out, somehow," Gwen says, continuing her thought, her voice sounding just as wistful as Arthur's face had appeared earlier.
"Had it actually happened, would you have told me, ever?" Merlin asks, trying not to feel selfish by his feelings of hurt and insult. "Or Percival, or Leon, or Gwaine? Or Gaius? Or Geoffrey, of all people. Surely you knew he was the one who wrote out the marriage certificates—
"We'd planned to tell you all eventually, but when the time came we hadn't really gotten around to it," Arthur answers, looking to his wife. "I would've gone through with it, you know," he tells her. "Struggles and all."
"I know," Gwen says with a smile. "I know that. If we could've, you already know I would've gone through with it too. We would've been very happy there in that little shack, I have no doubt, but it would have been wrong."
"Do you ever regret it?" Arthur asks suddenly, surprising Gwen. "Marrying me, I mean. The scrutiny, the social demands, the weight of it all—
"No," she replies, shaking her head. "Not for one single second," Gwen answers, no hesitancy whatsoever in her voice.
"Good," Arthur replies, looking relieved. "Because without you, Guinevere, my life would be nothing but dreariness."
"Mine too," she answers, and she leans down to kiss her husband fiercely on the mouth.