Chapter Nine- the wrong side of the bed

Lucy Adams rolled back and forth, but could not get comfy. She sighed and sat up in bed, realising she was naked. Had she lost her pyjamas? Lucy fluttered open her eyes and looked around. This wasn't her room or her bed. Where was she and surely she hadn't… lost it ?

She grabbed a silk robe, which lay on the end of her bed and got up, walking towards the door. She felt awful. Her head throbbed and her throat was dry; she even felt sick and dirty, worrying about the previous night. She stopped by the door when she spotted a photograph; Chuck and her when they were twelve. Oh god, please say I didn't sleep with…

"CHUCK!" Blair Waldorf shrieked on the other side of the door.

"I didn't tell L if that's what you're accusing me of." Chuck Bass sipped at a glass of coffee. He had hardly slept as he felt like such a jerk.

"Well how else did she find out then?"

"You think I know? Maybe you and your threats weren't as carefully thought out as you had planned! You sent me texts mentioning our non-existent sex tape!"

"So it's all my fault?!" She screamed.

"Shh... L's still in there." He nodded towards the door.

"Oh my god Chuck! You didn't!?"

--xx--

"Chuck you slept with Blair!" Lucy shrieked, but her voice was muffled out by the fireworks exploding from Central park. Below, couples kissed and guests cheered, but Blair sobbed. Nate was no where to be seen and was definitely not welcoming the New Year by Blair's side.

"Don't be ridiculous." Chuck laughed, but Lucy frowned.

"Don't lie to me. I've seen proof." She hissed.


"Why don't I get you a drink?" He raised his eyebrows, but she growled at him.

"I can get my own drink!"

Lucy sat at the bar, gulping down a beer. She giggled at her reflection in the glass, making herself fall of the stool. She sighed as some arms grabbed her before she reached the floor.

"Are you okay? You've drunk a little too much!" Nate whispered, helping her to her feet. She stumbled back onto her stool and pointed at the seat next to her. He sat beside Lucy, frowning.

"Maybe you shouldn't finish that." He took the half-drunk beer bottle away from her and handed it back to the bartender, paying for the drink.

"Happy New Year!" She giggled, fidgeting on her stool. Chuck walked over and sat on the other side of her. Lucy looked back and forth with an amused look on her face.

"Nathaniel, should you not be with Blair?"

Nate shrugged his shoulders. "Probably, but I need my space."

Lucy flicked her hair and sighed, deeply. It must be wonderful to be in love, she sighed, unaware that both Nate and Chuck were staring at her, looking a little concerned.

"I had better get going." She giggled, stumbling to her feet.

"No, you shouldn't leave like this." Nate grabbed her hand, stopping her.

"She can come back to be suite and sleep it off." Chuck took Lucy's hand and kissed her neck. Nate frowned, feeling a little hurt.

"Yeah, I was out of here anyway." He mumbled, walking up the stairs, towards the bedrooms.

Lucy giggled as Chuck placed her onto his bed. She pulled him on top of her, kissing him hungrily on the mouth. She tasted of alcohol, but Chuck didn't care. He kissed her back as she unbuttoned his shirt and threw it across the room. He slowly unzipped her dress, kissing her neck, but then stopped as Lucy opened her mouth.


"I-I love you." She whispered, looking into his eyes. Chuck looked away, continuing to undress her, as she did the same to him, leaving them both lying their naked. The three words spun around Chuck's mind, repetitively. Did she mean it or was that the alcohol talking? In that moment, he didn't care. He kissed her eagerly, but even for Chuck Bass, he got too caught up in the moment

--xx--

"Chuck! You slept with her!" Blair gasped.

"Why are you so surprised? I am Chuck Bass." He smirked, but looked down into his empty coffee mug.

"Chuck… normally you'd have thrown the girl out by now."

"And? She's our friend, Waldorf."

"This is so unlike you. You even look like you've lost sleep. You feel guilty, don't you?"

"About what?"

"Don't play dumb, Bass."

--xx--

Chuck sighed, why am I such a jerk? He had completely taken advantage of his best friend. He rolled off of her and stared up at the ceiling.


"Sorry." He apologised, turning to face her. She snuggled up closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder.


"You shouldn't be."

He kissed her forehead, but she was already asleep. He smiled, but inside he was tearing up. He felt sick and dirty for the first time ever. All the other women he had slept with had been meaningless. He had lied to them, promising to call, but he just left it and moved on to another. Lucy was so different; he cared about her and had probably just fucked things up. The three words continued to repeat in his head.

He put his arm around Lucy, holding her close, before whispering "I love you too."

--xx--

"Look, she's hardly gonna tell anyone." Chuck sighed, putting down his coffee mug.

"I wouldn't be so sure." Blair raised an eyebrow. "She isn't the same girl she was three years ago."

"I realised."

"Look, Chuck, make sure she keeps quiet or else." She turned and left the apartment, slamming the door behind her. She leant against the door, I can't keep this secret from Nate forever, I'm so stupid. She felt sick and dashed downstairs to the hotel's toilet; she needed to avoid Nate to protect herself, but she loved him so much that it hurt her.

Nate Archibald sighed, sitting up on a sofa. He knew exactly where he was and hated himself for it. He was meant to be waking up in bed, beside Blair, but he wasn't. No, he was in the Adams penthouse. He hadn't been invited over by Lucy, but by Bethany, seeing as Mr Adams and Miss Clark had spent the night in a hotel out of town.

"Good morning." Bethany smiled, sitting on the armchair opposite in her dressing gown.

"Oh, hey, Beth." He replied as she handed him a cup of coffee. He smiled at his new friend. Despite practically being Lucy's sister, he didn't feel awkward around Bethany. He didn't feel like he needed pot or alcohol to listen to her; in fact, he wouldn't mind listening to her talk all day.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked, relaxing on the recliner.

"Very well thanks. Did you?" She sipped at her latte.

"Yeah, pretty well. I haven't slept so much in weeks."

"You don't appear too hung over. Didn't drink much, then?"

"Actually, no, surprisingly." He smiled at the blonde in her dressing gown, as she twiddled her curls around her finger.

--xx--

Nate sighed, as Chuck carried Lucy into the difference. He reached for a drink, but stopped himself. No one liked a drinker. He smiled as a familiar girl sat beside him.

"Beth, right?" He grinned.

"Yeah. Happy New Year!" She replied.

"Fancy a drink?"

"I'll have some champagne, thanks."

Nate had never noticed how beautiful Bethany was before. Her blue eyes twinkled, resembling the blue, icy, glow that filled the room. She wasn't icy, at all though. She was perfect, like a princess. Her blonde curls made her look like a fairy, and delicately bounced when she spoke. He smiled, making Bethany's heart melt.

He was so gorgeous. His eyes glittered like emeralds and his smile was perfect. His brown, shiny bangs framed his face and made him look so hot. She sipped up her champagne, admiring his looks.

"Not with Blair, then?" Bethany acknowledged.


"She hasn't been herself recently. She's probably keeping something for me."

"Her hair must be full of secrets; it's big and curly enough." Bethany laughed and Nate joined in.

"I'm meant to be spending the night with her, but I really don't feel up to it." He sighed, looking into his glass of champagne.

"Well we could go for a walk or something. Clear your head, maybe?"

"That would be great."

--xx--

"You know, you're a really great listener." Nate said, placing his empty mug on the table.

"I've heard." She smiled.

"So, what about you then, you hardly told me about yourself."

"Well, my mum's been dating Lucy's dad for like a year or something. I've always lived with my dad, but he has a new family and it felt awkward around them, so I moved in here. New York's magical and they always say you should move here if you're looking for love." Her eyes sparkled as she said the last word. Nate smiled.

"It depends on the definition of love. Sometimes you are with someone to please them and it's just lust, like Chuck for example. Then there's love. The love which makes you decide you want to be with someone forever, jumping obstacles that are in your way. The love that they talk about in books, where you can't get rid of butterflies."

"I want the real love. The butterflies." Bethany sighed.

"Me too."

--xx--

Nate and Bethany walked into Central park, talking and listening. She listened to all his problems with Blair and as he explained about his lust for Serena and how he had lied to Blair.

He said he wasn't sure what was wrong with her and why Blair had changed. He explained that his father had pressured him into dating her and it needed to stop, but then mentioned he was beginning to like her as a girlfriend, maybe even love her.

Bethany's heart sank. He loved her? She continued to nod with a fake smile on her face, ignoring the words he had said. She shivered in the cold.

"Well I better get home." She said, dodging a puddle of melted snow.

"Oh." Nate looked hurt and took eye contact away from her, looking up at the stars in the sky.


"You could always come too. For coffee or something if you don't want to see Blair, that is."

"I'd like that."

--xx--

Blair Waldorf sat on the floor, hunched over the toilet, with her fingers down her throat. She couldn't face Nate. He had hurt her last night and now everyone was complicated. Now, Lucy knew about Blair sleeping with Chuck and she might have even known that Chuck took Blair's virginity.

"Why did I sleep with him in the first place?" She hissed to herself, emptying her stomach into the toilet. Someone listened by the door.

"Are you okay in there, miss?" They knocked on the door of the cubicle.

"Yes, just some dodgy curry I had last night." She lied, flushing the toilet. "I'm fine."

Lucy sat on the bed feeling so stupid. She had wanted her first time to be special. Sure it was with Chuck, but now she was just like one of his whores. She wrapped the gown around herself tighter as the door opened.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." He smirked, sitting on the bed beside her.

She turned away as her memory reminded her of the last night. She had made-out with him, ripped off his clothes and told him she loved him. I said I loved him. The word vomit repeated in her head.

"Shit." She muttered, feeling sick.

He put his arm around her. "Quite a wild night you had, didn't you Adams?"

She moved away, putting her hand to her aching head.

"Want me to kiss it better?" He smirked, puckering his lips.

"In your dreams."

"I believe last night was reality."

Lucy frowned. I'm such an idiot. Chuck sighed. Why was he being such an arsehole? He felt guilty enough without making things worse.

"I'm having a shower." She snapped, jumping up. She grabbed her clothes and disappeared into the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it.

Chuck sighed. Bass the ass. She was right. He felt sick with himself and collapsed next to the bathroom door, which Lucy was slumped up against on the other side. He could hear her sobbing into a towel. Why did I have to hurt her?

He banged his head on the wall. I think I've just lost her forever.

Spotted: L leaving The Palace Hotel looking a little angry. C ran after her, looking heart. Looks like he lost something we never thought he had… a heart.

You know you love me,

xoxo Gossip Girl

--

Sorry it's not particularly long, but I tried. What do you think of the flashbacks?

Thanks Bethany for your help, my dear friend, you rock my socks!!