Chapter Ten – Family

Title: Through the Window Came the Wind

Author : lifelesslyndsey

Disclaimer: It might not mah sandbox, but I'm building castles. But I'm not profiting from them.

Pairing: SamxBella

Rating: NC-17

Warning: language, and adult concepts in probably graphic citrusy detail.

Summary: He fought to do what was expected of him and she did the opposite. If love was less about finding that perfect someone, and more about finding that someone who makes you perfect, you never know who you might find. Love might bring out the best in us, but first, it brings out the worst.

"Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one."
Jane Howard

The next morning came like a punch to the gut. I peeled my eyes open and found myself in wolf form on my bedroom floor, covered in burs and dirt. My head was empty, at least; phasing would now be painful and awkward, taking the burs stuck to my tail into account.

"Sam?" Red croaked, and I looked up sharply, seeing her scent in the air; orange in color and spicy-warm. Red looked different then I remembered, in wolf form. More mine, the wolf echoed in my mind. She was more mine then she was the first time my wolf had seen her, whatever that meant. "I know they warn you about drinking the Kool-Aide, but I wasn't expecting the comely little elders to feed me spike dirt water," she muttered.

I whined, covering my snout and flattening my ears. It wasn't like I'd planned it. To be fair, they fed me spiked dirt water too.

"You're freaky elders force fed me drugs, Sam," Red groaned, rubbing her eye with the heel of her palm. Her voice was soft and void of it's usual hostility. It was kind of pretty, when she wasn't yelling and cussing and telling me she hated everything about me."I saw..." She stopped abruptly, turning away.

Whining, I crawled across the floor on my belly till I could bump my head against her thigh on the bed. I figured she wouldn't be exactly welcoming if I were in human form and I wasn't really ready to deal with the bur situation, not in front of her anyway. She'd have to deal with the wolf.

It was exhilarating, being like this before her, and having her accept it so easily. Much more easily then my human form, I though ruefully. I trusted the wolf with her like I'd trusted it with no one. Absently, her hand reached out, fingers raking through the fur of my muzzle, like I was a goddamn house pet.

What had she seen?

"I think I like you better like this," she murmured, quiet like a secret. "You can't yell at me. Can't tell me what to do...can't ask me questions I don't want to answer." Red sighed, as I pushed my head right into her lap. She laughed, as I nuzzled her stomach, snuffling. She smelled good, but that wasn't surprising. "I don't know what you want. You make me damn crazy but you seem...like you care, for whatever reason. Jake says it's just you're way, that you're just a caring person. He doesn't like it when I talk bad about you..."

Whining, I nuzzled at her again, burrowing my head up under her arm until she pet me harder. This, this I couldn't have as a man, not yet. I looked up,at the smear of berry and ash on her shoulder, painting her as mine, and licked it away, much to her squeaky squeals of protest. She laughed, pushing at my snout. She never laughed for me; for Jacob, and even on occasion for Quil or Embry, but never for me. "Hey! I never got to ask what that meant."

And she never would. Not yet.

Not yet.

"I don't know what it is about you that makes me want to scream." I licked her hand, tasting her sweat, and she sighed. "But...this doesn't change anything."

Of course not.

As if it could be that easy.

Red left when she was steady enough on her feet. We were both on edge after I'd phased, she mostly due to embarrassment, and me due to...burs. The air was nothing but volatility and static, and we both knew we were to close to our limits to push any buttons today. As her truck faded down the road to nothing but a faint orange blot on the otherwise bleary horizon, I made my slow and aching way to the shower, scrubbing off a nights worth of mushroom dreams. I smelled a bit like her, but I couldn't remember why. Judging from my situation downstairs, I could safely say that no matter what we did do, we didn't fuck.

Half an hour later saw me at my Momma's house, freshly scrubbed but no less tired.

"Sam!" Nora and Anna squealed in duet as I pushed open the door. I caught them as they crashed into me, tiny hands clinging to my bare knees. "You were real good yesterday!" Nora said excitedly, dipping a hand into my pocket to fish around for whatever I could have in there. As I had nothing, I pulled her tiny hand free, and swung her up on my hip, taking Anna by the hand, through the house.

"Thank doll," I said, hiking her up higher as she clamped her little legs around my waist. "You two both looked very pretty. Did momma help you make you're skirts?"

Momma appeared at the doorway, a sheepish smile on her face. "Emilia sent them actually."

I swallowed, turning my glare toward the innocent fridge instead of my mother. "How nice of ."

"Grandma said she made them special," Anna piped in, oblivious to my ire. "Just for us!"

"Alright girls, be good and go run outside. Stay where I can see you!" Momma said, ushering them out the door. It slapped shut, and she turned to me. "Emilia is trying, Sammy baby. I know she wasn't there for you-"

"She wasn't there for us," I replied sharply, pounding my fist down on her counter. "She's almost worse then him." Not really. Not by a damn mile, but it still stung the way they thought they could just barge into our lives.

Her frown was puckered on one side, never quite right were the faint pink scars still marred her. "Now Sam, that isn't fair. Just because she's his mother-"

"Doesn't give her a right to just barge into their lives and stake a damn claim, momma. You know how I feel about this," I cut her off, in a rare show of defiance. This was one of the only subjects I ever really had anything to say about. Josh Uley, Emilia Uley, they were all the damn same to me. The never gave two shits about us before, so why now?

Cuffing me upside the head, momma slapped her hand on the counter hard enough to rattle the lone glass of water atop it. "Dammit Sam! I know you've always been there for me, and the girls, and you've given up so much for them, Sam, but they are my children, just like you, and it's not your choice. I want...I want Emilia in their lives! I want them to have that, a doting grandparent! I want them to have all the things you missed out on because-"

"I didn't miss anything," I said swiftly. "I had you, and that's all I've ever needed. I don't understand how you could just let her back into your life after all she's done to you, Momma, I don't get it."

"Baby," momma said gently. "Emilia didn't take Josh away from us. He did that on his own. She...might not have approved of me, yes, but she didn't make him leave."

"I know that," I snapped, rubbing my hand over my face. "I do. But she wasn't there either. She...God Momma, she denounced me as her grandson in front of the tribe. She called you a whore, said I wasn't of her line-"

"And Joshua protested her claim, honey. He stood up in front of the council and named you his own." Which was more than he'd done for Embry, I thought sadly.

"That's suppose to make it better? The only thing that man has ever given me was my name and my sisters," I said from between my teeth. "And that took what? Two days top?"

"He comes around," momma said, raising a brow.

Comes around. Not came.

"Momma."

"Sam."

"Momma no," I breathed, shoulders slumping. This was the last goddamn thing I needed right now. "When? Have the girls seen him? Momma, please, I know you love him but don't-"

"Don't you go on lecturing me Samuel Joshua Uley," she cut me off sharply. "The girls haven't seen him. He's..."she took a deep breath, turning away from me. "He's living in Sequim now. I thought maybe if...if he stuck around for a while, a long while, he might...they might meet him."

I stared at her back, unblinking, as something cold and slimy crawled it's way up from my throat to settle in my stomach. I couldn't deal with this. I just couldn't. Josh Uley, my fucking kryptonite. "I suppose my opinion doesn't matter?"

It startled a laugh out of her and she spun to look at me with a rueful little smile. "Oh I don't know about that. You've never been quiet in sharing your opinions with the girls. They're going to hate him."

"Nothing he doesn't deserve," I replied, sounding about as petulant as Red on a bad day.

She looked up, sad smile twisting her lips. "He'd like to see you, you know. He asks about you...about-"

"No," I replied, shortly. "Just...no. How could you even think...how could you even...no." I took a deep breath, pushing away from the counter. "I'm sorry momma, but no. Never. Just...never. I have to...I'm sorry..." I spun on my heels, yanking open the back door as my momma called out to me.

"Sam!"

"Sam?"

The voices echoed each other, causing one brief moment of utter confusion before I realized that Red was sitting on my momma's porch, right in the rocking chair I'd built when the girls were born, looking tiny and quite honestly frightened.

"What are you doing here!" I barked out, as momma pushed open the door, eyes darting between Red and I. I couldn't look at her right then, knowing she'd been with him again.

"My truck-"

I was already yanking her up out of the rocking chair by her fore arm, dragging her bodily across the small strip of yard between momma's house and the cabin. God, she'd probably heard it all, and I couldn't fucking take that. I was suppose to be strong for her, help her grow the fuck up, when I couldn't...I just couldn't get the fuck over it.

I never would. My grudge would die with me. Rot and fester in the ground with me. Become one with the dirt and Earth with me and grow back through from the ground like eternal fucking hate-daisies.

I pushed her into the kitchen, picking her up forcefully and dropping her onto one of the stools. "Shut up for a minute," I growled, turning to the sink. I wasn't mad really, other then that I was fucking pissed, but it was contained. It was always contained. Gathering my self back together, I turned to her with a carefully calm and curious eye. "You left. And now you're back. Whats wrong?" There, back to Sam The Protector, the go-to man. That's who I was; I had no room to lose my cool.

Red stared at me silently, brow raised high enough to get lost in her mess of hair. Quietly, she pushed herself off the stool, making her way around the counter. I felt backed into a corner as she pressed herself against me, wrapping her narrow arms around my waist tightly.

Frozen, I didn't return the impromptu little hug, hands held up awkwardly at my sides, careful not to touch her. But then she turned her face, cheek pressed against my chest, and I could feel her breath through my shirt and it just felt to good to have her here, as a man. I wrapped her up in my arms tightly, pressing my face into her hair. It smelled like the smoke from last nights fires, and ash and berry paint.

Josh Uley had no place in my life. That wouldn't change.; I couldn't be the rock I was expected to be with him fluttering in and fucking my shit up. I had enough on my plate balancing Alpha, chief, brother, and imprint. I couldn't add pathetic, abandoned, fucked up son in there, I really couldn't. There wasn't enough of me to pass around for that.

A honk outside the house sounded, and I peered out the window to see Charlie in the cruiser. Red pushed back, hands still on my waist as she looked up at me with a puckered brow but small smile. "I'm so glad you have issues too," she said with a disparaging, breathy little laugh before letting me go and disappearing out my door and taking half my damn sanity with her.

Cause' the world wasn't right when Joshua was back and Red was being...nice.

TBC