A/N:I wanted to use this chapter to revisit a few of the key Charah moments (what to we call Charah moments before "vs The Other Guy"? Charah Lite? Diet Charah?) in Seasons 1 & 2. Obviously I didn't want to do too many, as I assume most of the fans here have already seen them. Still, I couldn't resist the urge to put some thoughts in Sarah's head at a "few" key moments.
That was the plan anyway. It ended up being a massive Chapter 10. So I split it.
The lion's share of this chapter takes place in the brief "Lou Arc" – "vs The Truth," and "vs The Imported Hard Salami". I regard the arc as home to the first few real Charah moments. Despite our heroine's declaration that she fell for our hero on pretty much day 1 or day 2, Sarah spends the first 7 episodes with her cards very close to her Kevlar vest. You could be a newcomer to Chuck, watch any of the first 7 episodes, and never clue into Sarah having feelings for Chuck, although Chuck of course wears his emotions on his sleeve. Ellie and Carina seem to pick up on it though. Speaking of Carina, Sarah doesn't even seem that romantically jealous that Carina lured Chuck to her hotel room, just professionally protective.
Observations by E & C aside, Sarah does look like she's trying to sell the idea that her Lou concerns are professional throughout most of "…The Truth", too, until the very end. After that, it's like she can't even be bothered with the façade anymore. Her motivations for crashing the date with Lou in " vs the Salami" are almost as transparent as her actions in "vs. the Wedding Planner", and her gleeful smile from the van is impossible to miss. And that's before the big moment at the docks.
From then on, Charah is simply a fact of the show, and hooray for that. (It's Awesome!)
A few good fanfic writers seem to believe that Sarah wore her purple outfit in " vs the Truth" just to torment Chuck, or at least to bring his attention away from Lou and back to her. It's an okay theory … except we see what Sarah can do with her wardrobe when she's really trying to seduce/impress Chuck (Honeymooners, Seduction Impossible, Coup d'Etat, The Zoom)– or anyone else (Crown Vic, Nacho Platter)! I think the purples were her least revealing sexy outfit! It just goes to show that it's not the outfit; it's the lady wearing it. Sarah Walker/Yvonne Strahovski could probably make a Hefty lawn and leaf bag or an empty Idaho potato sack work if she really tried.
Don't forget to review! It means a lot!
Chapter 10 – Sarah vs The Asset (Part 1)
2007 … 2007 … Dr. Zarnow … La Ciudad … Carina and Peyman Alahi … Mei-Ling Cho and Ben Lo Pan … Laszlo Mahnovski … Dr. Fleming and Magnus Einerson … double date with Ellie and Devon ...
Coffee is brewing, and Chuck's emotions are threatening to get the better of him. Again.
Sarah's finding the task of keeping him calm without resorting to a tranquilizer dart to be challenging. Again.
It's a tough row to hoe to convince Chuck that he needn't worry about Ellie. Yes, she got into an ambulance with a man who Chuck flashed on. But Ellie would help anyone who collapsed in front of her. She's a doctor after all. On the other hand Chuck had flashed on the unwell man … and the people who tend to star in Chuck's flashes also tend to be the kinds of people neither Chuck nor Sarah want around his sister – murderers, terrorists, arms dealers, information brokers, kidnappers and suchlike.
Funnily enough, Devon of all people is having a calming effect on Chuck, giving him sex tips, believing that Sarah's lingering at the apartment means that her relationship with Chuck is going to hit the physical level. It's not that he's actually calming Chuck, but he is inhibiting him, and Sarah's grateful for the few minutes of relative quiet. Of course… Devon's observations do bring up another point that's likely to cause more emotional tension for her already emotional charge.
Spies aren't supposed to have emotions. Emotions are distractions that can lead to errors – in a business that is notoriously unforgiving of errors. That's how Sarah has learnt it, it's how Bryce learned it, and it's how Casey learned it. The forlorn hope is that someone will teach it to Chuck. For all his good points, it's clear that Chuck's a slow study on this lesson. He follows the directive "Don't freak out", about as studiously as he does "stay in the car".
Although Sarah believes her own emotions to be in check, she has learned right off the bat not to demand the same from Chuck, and she chastises or encourages Chuck's feelings on a case-by case basis. On the one hand, Chuck's emotions have come perilously close to getting himself – and Casey and she killed. On the other hand, they do lead to some resourceful outside the box solutions, and the results are hard to argue with. His emotions also prove contagious. Chuck's charm and sincerity has softening effects on people who should know better- have prided themselves on knowing better.
Carina has been in town just about a month ago – predictably sowing complications in her wake. As a result of Carina's improvising, Sarah had found herself at gunpoint –not for the first time, granted. What was unexpected was that Carina and Chuck had come to her assistance – mostly because Chuck had guilt-tripped Carina into doing the selfless thing for once. Sarah wishes she could have seen the look on Carina's face as her formidable resolve melted under Chuck's basset hound eyes – he probably made her feel as if she were about to drown a pillowcase full of hamsters. The very thought of Carina's selfishness collapsing makes Sarah smile. It's almost always Carina who manipulates and controls men. That time Chuck had the reins.
It wasn't long after that Chuck was able to make the emotional argument that Casey and Sarah should assist Chinese spy Mei-Ling Cho in rescuing her brother. That unorthodox stratagem resulted in the destruction of a Chinese mafia ring, Mei-Ling Cho defecting to the US, and a no doubt lucrative seam of intelligence for the West to access. The whole thing defied conventional spy logic. It really defied any kind of logic at all. Chuck just felt he had to help a poor woman save her brother.
Just last week, Sarah had learned that Chuck's good nature had even gotten to someone who she had always thought was proudly emotion-less. Years ago, Bryce Larkin, of all people, had felt his protective side motivated by … however Chuck was back in their frat days. Sympathy for Bryce Larkin was not something that came naturally to either Sarah or Chuck by now … but apparently Bryce had vehemently opposed Chuck's recruitment to the CIA on the grounds that he was just too nice a person to live through it. So Bryce sacrificed his friendship with Chuck to protect him.
Sarah sighs as she readies the coffee mugs. Chuck, bag of emotions that he is, no doubt has a history of bringing out peoples better, more selfless sides. Maybe he'll get to her too – if he hasn't already. Surely he will. Surely he has. Sarah has tried hard to tell as few lies as possible to him – but Chuck had obviously taken it hard when he had found out that she and Bryce had a past. Nor was he altogether content to know that so little of what he knows about her is authentic. The only thing he's confident of is that she doesn't like olives on her vegetarian pizza.
Emotions may be par for the course with an asset like this and can, she's learning, be useful to Chuck in some situations, but he's not doing anything now but freaking himself out, and annoying her.
Ellie returns in due time, safe and sound as Sarah expected. Chuck is overjoyed. After Ellie and Devon adjourn to their room, Chuck finally is able to vent his spleen to Sarah.
"I am getting way too comfortable lying and sneaking around all this spy stuff. Okay? I'm starting to feel that that is my real life." Chuck gushes.
"It's all to be expected," Sarah reassures. "It's an existential spy crisis of sorts."
Unimpressed, Chuck continues "It used to be all compartmentalized, you know? Chuck world and spy world. But when I watched those ambulance doors closed, and my sister was behind them with that sweaty nuclear spy freak, my worlds collided. I put Ellie's life in danger!"
Sarah keeps it reassuring "No, Chuck that guy was sick with or without the Intersect in your head, and spy world or no, Ellie helped that guy because that is what she is trained to do."
That seems to get through. "Yeah I guess."
Praising Chuck's sister is a sure way to get onto his good side. He worships her, and it's not hard to see why. Sarah could use that tidbit of information to control Chuck better, but it probably won't ever be necessary. Anytime Sarah feels the urge to say something nice about Ellie, it's not coming from a desire to manipulate Chuck. Sarah's genuinely impressed by this close if tiny family.
Perhaps too close, Sarah considers as she hands Chuck his coffee mug. The more eyes that are watching her and Chuck's cover relationship, the more convincing that cover needs to be. "There's something else that I have to talk to you about."
"What's that?" Chuck asks, his relief at Ellie's safety leaving him fatigued.
"I'm a little worried about our cover. I think it's time for us to make love."
Chuck's reaction amuses Sarah to the point where she has to bury her face into her own mug to keep from laughing. At least Chuck's freaking out about something different now… … … … …
… … … … and apparently he is not freaking out about something that should be a cause for concern. Who is this?
Sarah has swung by the Buy More to pick up Chuck for a field trip down to the morgue. Sweaty Nuclear Spy Freak, more properly known as Mason Whitney now resides there, or at least his earthly remains do. It's been a few months, and Sarah's used to commanding some attention as she comes through the Buy More doors … but not today-at least not from Chuck. Today Chuck's attention is focused on the brown paper bag package that the very attractive petite girl is handing him. Sarah might have at one time described this woman's hair as 'black' – but Ellie has set the hair color standard for the raven haired women Sarah knows. This woman is dark brunette – and her smile is aimed right at Chuck.
Chuck just might be clueless enough to not know when he's being aggressively flirted with, but Sarah's eyes and ears tell her everything she needs to know. Petite Brunette is in predator mode … with Sarah's asset scheduled as prey. She has her voice low and dusky, and maintains eye contact with Chuck the whole time. Sarah knows the drill well. This woman might not have gone to a seduction school, but she has a lot of native talent.
"Turkey, muenster, egg bread. I'm even going to call it the Chuck Bar-tow-ski" Petite Brunette purrs, actually lingering on each syllable of Chuck's name.
Chuck chirps with an innocent glee that suggests that he has no idea what's going on. "I can't believe you're going to name a sandwich after me!"
"You know, you should come by the shop sometime and taste it fresh…" she says, her voice even lower and breathier then before. Oh, no you don't…Gloriously, Sarah's cover calls for the exact same reaction that she'd have in real life. This could just be a little fun.
Now it seems to be dawning on Chuck "Yeah, yeah … I'd love that, Lou … this is kind of the biggest honor – Sarah!"
Sarah's assertively taken the stage, her face the mask of a phony smile, her voice one of faux cheeriness. "Hi! I'm Sarah!"
Petite Brunette's gaze has turned from flirty to accusatory in the space of nine milliseconds, maybe ten. Chuck fumbles over introducing Sarah as his girlfriend… eventually needing Sarah herself to bring out the word. Petite Brunette, one Lou by name she learns, leaves most unhappy with Chuck.
Sarah's reaction was entirely polite and professional – totally necessary for the maintenance of the cover. She's supposed to act like a girlfriend, and that includes a little possessiveness. Chuck is supposed to act like a boyfriend – and that means perhaps figuring out a line – a line across which new women in his life should not cross. Especially the pretty ones.
Still as Sarah calls for Chuck to join her, she feels a slight bit of resentment towards Lou and normal women like her. Months ago, Sarah had come into this store to locate a mark, and pretended to be enamored by Chuck when he fixed her phone. A piece of her wished that she had the same freedom that Lou had – to walk into the store for help, and to truly enjoy Chucks' attention, with no ulterior motive. She wishes she could appreciate Everyday Normal Chuck the way Lou can.
Or more accurately, she wishes that she were allowed to admit to appreciating Everyday Normal Chuck the way Lou can.
That night, Sarah arrives at Chuck's apartment for the purposes of staying over. It wouldn't be quite as necessary if Chuck lived alone, but there's no point in griping about that. Sarah and Casey need unlimited access to Chuck, and Chuck having Sarah as a "girlfriend" provides that sort of no-questions-asked-from-Ellie-or-Awesome access. They have to be a convincing cover couple. And convincing couples have sex eventually.
Both slow jazz and the smell of scented candles waft from Chuck's room, and Sarah's not sure if she wants to compliment Chuck on his spy instincts with setting up the illusion, or if she needs to reign in his enthusiasm. Chuck's respectful, unpresumptuous nature suggests the former, but the awkward dance move she interrupts him in the middle of seems to suggest the latter.
"Elle let me in." She informs. Taking it all in "Wow, Chuck… what do you think's going to happen here tonight?" If for some reason Chuck is harboring any illusions as to what her intentions towards him … her immediate physical intentions anyway … it's best to bring him back down to earth sooner rather than later. This cover's already difficult on him enough. Times like this make it tough on her, too.
"Why?" He answers haltingly. "What do you think I think?"
"Well, I don't know … the candles and the music … I mean you do know that we're just spending the night together for cover, right?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, why … why would I possibly think anything else?" "I mean by now I'd say I'm pretty familiar with the concept of faking it … so"
"Chuck, we've got to take this assignment seriously" Don't say out loud that we're faking it so Ellie and Devon can overhear, Chuck!
"Okay, I'll lose the music". He kills the iPod radio and flops down on the bed. "You can change in the bathroom".
"That's okay" Sarah says, shucking her overcoat. She's already ready in the sleeping attire she's chosen for the night.
Chuck is immediately bolt upright. "What?! You give me crap about lighting some candles, and you come in wearing that?"
"What? This?" Sarah defends. "This is part of my cover!" She's actually chosen this outfit out of some consideration for Chuck. It's a purple slip that is lacy and slightly transparent around the abdomen and thighs, and matching panties. All her naughty bits are well covered. It's much more modest than, say a bikini, and almost as modest as a one-piece bathing suit.
"Well it doesn't cover a thing"
"And what if Ellie or Awesome were to walk in? This is exactly what a girlfriend would wear to seduce her boyfriend." Sarah already knows that that's a little bit of a fib. If she was really trying to have her way with Chuck, she wouldn't have chosen purple. Nor would she have chosen something that covers up her tummy-she's quite proud of it. As she climbs into bed she says "I am just being professional." It's the truth … although her mediocre sense of humor doesn't notice the inference she walks into by using the word "professional" while she's clad in lingerie. Chuck's next remark takes her by surprise.
"Yeah…the world's oldest profession." Chuck snarks.
The sting from the insult is all the worse because it's so unexpected. Sarah works in a field populated by some of the most unsavory males in the world, and she's been called far, far worse by marks and even by co-workers. But she's used to getting nothing but shy, awkward respect from Chuck, and his snidely calling her a prostitute is hurtful … and surely is a sign that something's agitating him. "Oooohhhh … well that's real nice, Chuck. What is the matter with you tonight anyway?"
It's already obvious to her what the problem is, and it's about 5'2", owns a deli, and is probably falling to sleep right now with dreams of her asset warming her brain. Happily Sarah doesn't even have to address the question as to whether or not she herself is jealous, since even if she is, it matches nicely with the suspicion she should professionally feel for anyone who wants in infiltrate Chuck's life. At least it does this time. What about the next time?
As Sarah huffs and turns her back to Chuck, an annoying thought grips her. Her days of pretending not to be jealously protective – and not just in a professional way- of Chuck are probably severely numbered. … … … … … … …
… … … Chuck Bartowski is may be teaching her about jealousy, but immediate circumstances dictate that he's going to teach her a few things about himself as well – and show her things she's never seen before. Horrifyingly, Chuck seems to have a knack for warming, stopping and breaking her heart all at the same time.
The mysterious perpetrator who murdered Mason Whitney has exposed Ellie to a special type of toxic pentothal, and Chuck's sister has only hours to live if she's not given the antidote. The trap that Chuck, Casey and Sarah had set for the poisoner has fallen apart, thanks to Chuck's untimely identifying of the codes necklace, and barging in on a standoff. The poisoner has gotten away. Thankfully, he's left one vial of antidote, and to Sarah, Casey and Chuck, it's immediately clear who should be the one to get it. Of course, strictly speaking, that doesn't mean they agree.
"Here" Sarah demands, handing the vial of to Chuck.
Her asset is having none of it. "No. No, it's for Ellie."
Sarah is adamant, immediately dismissing Chuck's concern. "No. I'm sorry there's no debate. It has to be you. You're the Intersect."
Flabbergasted, and apparently hurt that Sarah could think him so selfish, Chuck gasps in horror "I won't take it knowing that Ellie will die without it! That both of you have been poisoned too!"
The toxin is already starting to work on Casey, and he's more freely admitting that Chuck has the power to impress him. "You're a good person, Chuck and I respect that. But I have a job to do, so take it before I shove it down your throat!"
"Okay, okay. Fine. I'll do it." Chuck relents.
"Thank you!" Sarah doesn't even try to keep the relief out of her voice. Of all the times in the world this is certainly not the time for Chuck to play the part of selfless hero.
"I'll pretend to agree to take it, and then I'll run like hell to my sister's room and make her take it." He barely pauses as a look of slight confusion colors his chocolate brown eyes. "Why did I just say that out loud?"
"It's the poison." Sarah informs. "It makes you tell the truth."
"You do that and I'll give chase, put a gun to your head, and threaten to pull the trigger if you don't take it!" Casey says severely, not caring how counterproductive or circular the logic of his plan seems.
"Would you really shoot me?" Chuck asked, both curious and confused.
"No." Casey admits casually.
"Yeah, don't waste a bullet. We're already dead." Chuck retorts, again forming statements that he knows to be true. "I'm saving my sister." Chuck then darts down the hall, the prized vial tight in his fist. Sarah and Casey's pursuit is not quite quick enough to tackle Chuck before he can get to Ellie's room. … … … …
… … … … Well, looks like he listened to me for once. There really wasn't any debate. Slumped on the floor, the three of them waiting to die, Sarah can't help but to be impressed with Chuck, and unlike his successful disarming of bomb with Irene Demova, this has nothing to do with his knack for spycraft. He's shown remarkable heroism … not the right kind of heroism that's right for the mission, but heroism nonetheless. He rescued his sister at the cost of his own life, and did it without even a moment's hesitation. Sarah's never seen that kind of bravery before. Oh of course, she herself could be described as 'brave', so could Casey. Spies court gruesome death for the good of the country all the time. But the bravery is always tied to some outside goal, like the mission. The bravery in the face of danger usually also tends to include a likelihood of escaping the danger, if talent and circumstances permit. Walking into certain doom is typically not a spy's job.
It what she imagines to be her last moments, she wonders at the number of people in her life she'd so happily die for. There's one possibility – maybe Molly. And even that's based more on the natural protectiveness all decent people have for children, not really on something that could be described as 'love'.
Of those who'd willingly, and without hesitation go willingly to their death for her, she knows that there aren't any at all. At least she's pretty sure she knows… … …
… … The game changes once more, and Chuck notices device that the poisoner dropped. The Intersect identifies him as Riordan Payne, his location is verified, and both perpetrator and pentothal antidote are secured.
Before Sarah takes the antidote, Chuck decides to mine her emotions, to see what's there. It perhaps is a little underhanded of him, but Sarah honestly can't hold it against him. Little does Chuck know that it's also futile, as pentothal is simply a drug that particularly dedicated- or masochistic – agents like herself can be trained to resist.
"This will probably be the last chance that I have to know the truth." Chuck all but pleads with her, again using his puppy dog eyes to devastating effect "I know you're just doing your job here, but sometimes it feels so real, you know? So tell me. You and me. Us. Our thing under the undercover thing. Is this every going anywhere?"
Were she to admit to having genuine feelings for Chuck, it's likely that she'd be reassigned just as fast as Beckman's fingers can type the e-mail. For now, a painful ugly lie is the only thing that will keep her assigned to this team.
You idiot, don't you see that I'm falling for you? I just watched you almost let yourself be poisoned to death, and it made me want to cry! I'm crazy about you! is what shrieks through her mind. "I'm sorry Chuck. No." is what she forces though her mouth. He tongue and jaw practically rebel against her face, so offended are they at being ordered to this task.
"Got it. Got it, thank you for being honest. Even though I guess you don't really have a choice in the matter." Chuck quips. Sarah's seen men put on a brave front in the face of romantic disappointment before, but never has she felt so bad about being the source of such disappointment. Coolly, he downs the antidote. "Not bad" he grins.
Her steely resolve has reached its breaking point. She'd literally rather help Casey tend to the murderous, poisoning information smuggler then endure another second of those wonderful golden chocolate eyes, through which she can see the very real hurt she's caused. She can't imagine this assignment causing her more or worse pain… … … … …
… … … … The notion that her emotions have hit rock bottom is oddly comforting. Things can only go up from here, as they've no place else to go. She doesn't imagine being able to feel any worse.
That somewhat comforting notion lasts less than a day. Chuck makes an unexpected visit to the Wienderlicious. He seems somewhat happy, and determined. It looks like he's healed emotionally from having been disappointed yesterday, and Sarah's genuinely happy to see him.
"Oh, Hey! I didn't know you were coming by!" she smiles.
"Um, Sarah … you know when you think you're going to die, and you're whole life is supposed to flash in front of you? That didn't exactly happen for me yesterday, in fact, mostly it was just a list that I saw -a list of stuff that I hadn't done and things that I haven't had a chance to say. So today … Today I want to start crossing things off of my list."
He approaches a step towards her. "And this is the first thing that I'd promised myself that I'd do." Those wonderful eyes of his are practically hypnotizing her. This is all very hopelessly sweet and beautiful of him. This is going to be some movie-style declaration of love. Or maybe a well thought out argument about how wonderful a boyfriend he'd be.
Chuck's hands now gently clasp her arms below her Wienerlicious top as if to steady her and a soft gentle grin begins to part his lips. Oh how I love to see that smile pointed at me. … … Oh my God, he's going to kiss me, isn't he? A true kiss, a for-real kiss…Oh, Chuck- you saw right through my lie yesterday didn't you, you adorable nerd …
"We need to break up." Those words are just horrible enough from Chuck, that she can't quite process them right away. Not only that, but the relieved smile he gives all but seems as if he's hoping that this causes her pain.
"… … What?"
"You know like, fake-fake break up our pretend relationship."
Sarah's poker face falters, and she gamely tries to reset it, but she knows that Chuck saw her emotion peek through. Damn.
Chuck hurries by his explanation, as if he's ripping off a Band-Aid, or some other unpleasant chore that's best done quickly. "I just can't do this anymore, you know? The longer we go, the longer we keep trying to fool people into believing that we're a real couple … the person I keep fooling the most is me."
With that, Chuck leaves her. After a brief call from Casey, she sighs. She was convinced that lying to Chuck yesterday made her feel about as low as she could get. She was wrong, this was worse. The notion of being rejected by what is the kindest man in her admittedly man-limited life– even in this facsimile of a relationship – only pours a shaker full of salt into the wound.
Well, at least now she can't feel any worse, can she?
That somewhat comforting notion doesn't even last three minutes. Chuck's first stop after the Wienerlicious is Lou's Deli, and at the sight of the two of them laughing over a cup of coffee, Sarah feels as if she's bathing in scalding water.
Spies aren't supposed to have emotions … but her recent experience with Bryce in Mexico taught her that that's not entirely true. Today she wishes it was.
Beckman's not going to be happy about this, she decides later that day, and after her Wienerlicious shift, she drops her pigtails and decides to try to salvage the situation. Cornering him in the Buy More's home theater room, she tries to apologize for sending the wrong signals – but the fact is, Chuck's not even accusing her of doing that. He seems to know she hasn't done anything wrong – he's not looking for an apology. He's simply looking for an escape – an escape from her platonic stares to Lou's warm and anything-but-platonic embrace. Sarah literally has nothing she can offer him … nothing that she can offer him and still keep her assignment, anyway … that he's interested in. What he's interested in is "away from her". Chuck's discovered a new, awkward way to make her feel bad. He seems to simply assume that she's out of his league, makes his peace with that "fact" and moves on. He's killing her by being so sweet and nice about it.
Sarah takes advantage of one last time where being his cover girlfriend lines up with her own desires. Informing him that she's going to have to sell it to Chuck's Buy More co-workers, she works up some fake tears. Chuck looks decidedly uncomfortable at the sight of tears from a woman he cares about – just like she suspected he would. But that's too bad. Chuck's pretend-hurt her feelings, so he has to witness her pretend-tears. And if that causes him real discomfort, that'll be his problem. … … …
… … … Indeed Beckman is not pleased whatsoever. "What the hell happened?"
"She got dumped!" Casey seems to be happy, though. Odd that this is one of the few times that she's seen Casey smile when not cleaning his firearms. Sarah doesn't quite know what his story is – either he's innocently busting the chops of his partner, or some pretty blonde woman crushed him way back when, and he's tickled by the idea of Chuck dropping Sarah.
"We decided that it would be best for Chuck to date a civilian. It will help secure his cover in the event someone IDs me." Sarah reports … as if the whole thing were a well thought up plan by herself Chuck and Casey…
"Yeah, because she got dumped!" … but Casey has no interest in forwarding that illusion. Yeah, I guess someone did a number on you a long time ago.
"Let me get this straight" Beckman intones, her face a mask of seriousness and concern. "Someone comes in off the street and starts dating the asset, and this doesn't strike either of you as suspicious?" To the untrained eye, the notion that Lou could be an enemy operative might seem quite ridiculous, and yet the entire business thrives on opponents overlooking such possibilities. Hopefully an enemy only regards Chuck as just another Nerd Herder, Casey as another Buy More Green Shirt, and Sarah as just a (very pretty) Wienerlicious girl. What if Lou is not quite what she seems?
Still, swiftly falling to Chuck's sweet, affable, kind, warm, funny,sincere,respectful, charisma isn't suspicious or odd in and of itself, and Sarah knows that all too well. She might be secretly jealous of Lou, but she can't blame her, or consider her one of the bad guys just because she likes Chuck. She thinks it strange that Beckman immediately jumps to battle stations on the news that Chuck has an admirer. Sarah's legitimately annoyed, not only at the implied insult to Chuck, but at the unintentional insult to her.
In framing her retort, Sarah takes pains to remember that she's addressing A) a brigadier general in the US Army, and B) a woman whose idea of romance includes Roan Montgomery, so she's probably not the authority on what romantic scenarios are suspicious or not. "It's not completely unfeasible. He is a reasonably charming guy."
"I've heard enough." The general says, not letting go with her concern. "I want to know everything there is to know about this woman before she gets too close."
Sarah grimaces at the idea – not because she's afraid they'll find that Lou isn't what she seems, but because she's sure they're going to find out that Lou is exactly what she seems – a sweet, flirty aggressive woman – who's occupying space in Chuck's head that used to be occupied by her…. … …
… … … … Indeed there is slightly more to Lou than meets the eye, but only a little more. It's her ex-boyfriend who soon takes center stage. Stavros Demetrios is a name that Chuck flashes on, after an "intimate"-to use Casey's word- moment with Lou. Sarah demands that Casey spare her details. Happily he was on surveillance that night.
Beckman's briefing assigns Chuck to bring Lou to Savros's nightclub, and Chuck protests by referring to Lou as his "girlfriend". Sarah can barely conceal her blanching at the word, even in the presence of Beckman.
Girlfriend? Seriously? Coffee and a few sandwiches, and she's his girlfriend? He uses that word that quickly? Her Wienerliscious shift begins, and Sarah has stored up a fund of resentment that promises bad things for anyone who crosses her. Lester unwittingly volunteers to be that someone. He leaves the Wienerlisicous with his life and his limbs, but not his dignity. Tormenting the little weasel gives her a much needed momentary respite.
Chuck successfully convinces Lou to take him to the club that Savros owns, and apparently Sarah's not doing a great job of hiding her feelings in the surveillance van. Casey decides to needle her, only this time it doesn't seem so much for sport, as it sounds like some constructive criticism.
"Same bit with you, huh?" Casey grumbles.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Do you need me to spell it out? Fine. You fall for the guys you work with. First Bryce, now our boy Chuck." He remarks as if he's commenting on yet another rainy day.
"Bryce was a mistake, and I haven't fallen for Chuck." She tries to insert a derisive laugh into the middle of her denial, but clearly Casey sees it for the poor acting that it is.
"Yeah. Whatever you say. And just so we're clear sister, not interested." Casey's bored tone indicates that he's not interested in judging her for her for anything along the lines of promiscuity, but that he finds no appeal in mixing business with pleasure, and defending Chuck is business.
Sarah overreacts to an offhand comment from Stavros, barges into the club to check on Chuck's wellbeing, and 'accidentally' sabotages Chuck's date. Ooops. Lou's furious at Chuck, Chuck's furious at Sarah, Sarah congratulates Chuck on a mission well done – his microphone is picking up the shipping family's conversation. … … … … …
… … … … … Which results in her and Chuck walking into a trap, and being taken. Now truly in a jam, and locked in the trunk of the car…. Without Chuck's GPS watch to assist Casey in a rescue. To call Sarah "furious" does justice to neither her emotion nor the gravity of the situation.
"Lou was incriminating herself, and I didn't want her getting into trouble." Chuck defends without an ounce of regret; as if protecting Lou from a fine justifies the danger they're now both in.
Sarah can't believe that they've both been kidnapped and will probably be under threat of death because of this Nerd Herder's desire to protect the petite sandwich slinger. "Always the romantic, huh Chuck?" She snarls.
"Jealous?" Chuck actually manages a smug grin, despite being locked in the trunk and bound. How Sarah wishes he were gagged too.
"It was foolish! Do you really think the CIA is interested in a deli meat smuggler!?"" Sarah's normal cool is starting to collapse – yes, she knows that Chuck's new at this, but c'mon- he has been at this for a few months. Is she really out of line to demand that Chuck know better? And yes. I am jealous.
"Well, excuse me if I'm not Mr. Perfect Spy. We can't all be Bryce Larkin, now can we?" Chuck hisses.
"Who's jealous now?" Sarah gives her own smug sneer, slightly happy that Bryce has been occupying Chuck's thoughts… of course Chuck's immediate reaction informs her that a) she probably just admitted to being jealous, and b) she just asked Chuck if he's jealous of someone who is both disgraced and dead…. Which he's probably not.
"Me, jealous of you and Bryce? Never." Chuck defects with unforced sincerity.
"Is that everything you wanted to say?" she growls.
"More or less"
"Good! Now shut up, you're sucking up all the air." Sarah spins her back on him in a huff. For several minutes she occupies herself with staring at the interior side of the car's trunk, illuminated by back glow from the car's taillight.
Predictably, Chuck the Chatterbox breaks the silence. "You know I've been thinking…"
"Oh. Now you're thinking. Picking up a new hobby?" Sarah growls without looking at him. Seriously… to protect his deli meat smuggling girlfriend? And seriously – two dates and it's 'girlfriend'!? I was tearing up hotel rooms with Bryce for almost two years across three continents, and all I got was 'it's complicated'. It was odd the thoughts that being locked in the trunk of a car could inspire. Or maybe she's truly running out of oxygen, and her thoughts were beginning to suffer.
"Huh. Yeah … you know, you were right that night at the restaurant. You're really not funny …" Chuck muses.
"What part of 'Shut Up' do you not understand?" she demands.
"I was just thinking … Casey's going to find us. I showed him how that day when you got tossed in the trunk by Dr. Zarnow. That time you taught me how to land a helicopter?"
"Yeah, I miss that trunk. It was a lot quieter." Sarah grumbles.
"Ha! See? Now that's funnier. You're getting the hang of it. Good for you. I was just saying that Casey can still find us. He'll have a satellite search the docks or use a drone, or look up Stavros & Yari's dock number or something."
"When he does, I'm sure he's going to appreciate that you gave him the extra challenge of having to guess where we'll be instead of hanging on to your GPS watch." … … …
… … … … … Indeed Casey does, and Team Bartowski escapes certain doom for what seems like the ninth time in as many weeks. There may be time yet to salvage the mission for Beckman. With Casey and his tactical team holding off Yari and Stavros's assorted goons, the NSA agent dispatches Chuck and Sarah to intercept the presumed weapon. To Sarah, that's exactly one set of hands too many.
"Chuck I want you to get as far away from here as possible!" Sarah orders.
"I'm coming with you!" Chuck stubbornly informs.
"No! Chuck, You're not going anywhere near a live bomb!" Annoyed, Sarah has no idea how she could possibly lose what should be a common sense argument… but then again this is a guy who just left his GPS watch behind to protect Lou.
"Do you know how to diffuse a bomb? Do you have an Intersect in your head? I didn't think so!" Heedless of all logic and sense of self-safety, the Nerd- Herder charges ahead.
"Hey! Chuck! Wait!""
Berth 19 houses the objective, and whatever it is, it's large- housed in a giant plywood box. Enlisting the help of two crowbars, Sarah and Chuck open the box to reveal a sinister looking device. It's large, it's grey, and a red digital timer counts down. Probably not containing more of Lou's deli meats. Sarah thinks glumly. Whatever this ominous looking thing is about to unleash, it's going to do it in less than a minute.
Sarah begins by accessing the digital panel, but after that is stumped. She's never seen anything even close to this thing before, so the chances of it not being in the Intersect are high.
"Okay .. okay Intersect, Flash .Show me how to do this." Chuck muses, sounding more like he's in prayer than anything else.
43 seconds. "Did you flash?" Sarah asks, hoping against hope. She already knows how Chuck reacts with a flash, and his reaction is despairingly absent.
"No. Nothing" Chuck begins to panic. "C'mon! Come on come on come on, baby don't fail me now!" Chuck cradles his head, as if he can physically trigger a useful flash.
35 seconds. Sarah has appreciated Chuck's brave attempt to help, but it's over now. "Okay Chuck, that's enough. Run. I'm going to try and stay to diffuse it."
"No, I'm not leaving you here." The nerd expresses shock that Sarah would suggest he abandon her.
"Go! That is an order!" Evan as she says it, Sarah's normal calm gives way to panic and anger. She already knows full well how welcome a directive to leave her must be to him.
"No." Chuck says with uncharacteristic defiance. He actually sounds like he's getting annoyed with her!
Sarah can take no more from her aggravatingly courageous, frustratingly affable, enragingly selfless, bizarrely inept, infuriatingly considerate and annoyingly cute-ish asset putting himself in harm's way for no good reason. She draws her Smith and Wesson 5906, storms over to her obstinate nerd and aims directly between those two wonderful amber-brown eyes. "I said go!" she snarls her last order at him.
Sarah has held unarmed men at gunpoint before – most people give quick and easy compliance when looking down the barrel of 9mm death. But Chuck is not most people. Even as he stands just yards away from one kind of doom, and just inches away from another, Chuck observes with exasperated sarcasm, "Oh, I see. So you're going to shoot me to prevent me from getting blown up? That's a great plan!"
No, you idiot I'm trying to scare you into running away and saving yourself! Why are you letting yourself die here? Why are you doing this to Ellie and Devon? Why are you doing this to me? Do you have a death wish? Do you hate having the Intersect so much that you're willing for this to be over?! Why won't you let me keep you alive? It never occurs to her that he might run too, if she'd only run with him. Her self-control collapses- "WHY ARE YOU SO STUBBORN!?" she roars with impotent rage.
"Actually I consider this a rare moment of courage." Chuck insists, with an angry assurance that comes from being convinced that he's right.. "I don't know where it's coming from, I guess you just bring out the worst in me."
"And you in me!" She hisses in his face as she leans forward and holsters her weapon. It's true. Chuck is the one man who made her regret for the first time using her seductive charm to accomplish Agency business, and who made her consider her feelings and emotions. These, she's learned, are normally not great traits for spies.
The timer device gives off higher sounding chirps as the final ten seconds count down. Both Chuck and Sarah turn towards the instrument of their destruction.
5 seconds. "It was nice knowing you". There's no rebuke, no complaints, and no sarcasm now. Chuck's voice is only filled with respect and affection for her. Sarah's gotten professional respect from the men in her life before – her competency assures that, and Casey, Bryce and Langston have always delivered that. Affection – genuine affection like she's come to expect from Chuck, is something altogether new and strange. She's had men mimic it for her before – usually expecting a timely sexual reward. But it's never been quite like this. What a shame she's had such a brief time to appreciate it, before it's gone forever.
It's a world full of lies, deceit, and illusion. But Sarah's place in that world is quite literally going to be blown apart. If even a tenth of that container is loaded with Semtex, Plastique, C-4 … hell at this range even old fashioned black gunpowder would do it… there won't be anything left of either one of them to identify, much less burry ... not even to cremate. They will be less than ashes. She and Chuck will literally be destroyed by the shock wave at the cellular or molecular level – reduced to air pollutants in faster than the blink of the eye. At least it won't hurt in the least– the shock wave will literally out run the velocity of their nervous systems. By the time the impulses of pressure and pain from their arms and sides arrive at their brains, nether one will have a brain anymore.
3 seconds.Sarah sees Chuck squeeze those wonderful browns shut for the last time … and an odd sense of freedom envelops her. It used to be a world of covers and deception – now it's a world without any responsibilities at all. She's dying in the line of duty, and there'll be no more reports to Beckman, and no more paperwork with Casey. No Intersect to worry about-it's about to be destroyed too, no villains or traitors or terrorists will get their grubby hands on it. Even things that are unquestionably important like national security will no longer be her concern- they'll be someone else's, of course-but not hers. No need to maintain a cover for the safety of anybody. No need to pretend that Chuck's not the most wonderful man to come into her oft-vacant life. No need to pretend that he's nothing more than an assignment to her. No need to pretend that she doesn't want him for herself, and hated seeing him with Lou. No more need for such lies.
For the rest of her life, all two glorious seconds of it, she's free to do whatever she wants. And it's standing right in front of her.
Sarah seizes both sides of Chucks head, and greedily claims his lips with her own. Chucks lips are so warm and wonderful against her own, just as she's always imagined they'd be. Her tongue slides out and caresses his upper lip, and is almost immediately met by Chuck's own delicious wet tongue as he begins to respond to this surprising, but very welcome revelation from her. Sarah breaks the kiss, and kisses again- and it's just as beautiful and passionate. Chuck's arms envelop her, first letting his hands stroke her hair, and then embracing her fully, unnecessarily pulling her towards him. Her hands slide down to his chest, clenching his nerd herd shirt and tie. It's possibly the same shirt, and probably the same time where she first saw him. Sarah relishes the delightful sensation of her body pressed tightly against Chuck's and kisses him a third, fourth and fifth … … … wait … fifth? How long does it take for a two second timer to count down?
Reality intrudes on the lovely moment. Sarah freezes in Chuck's arms, breaks their kiss, and stares into his basset hound eyes … which are still there, perplexingly. His confused expression mirrors what must be her own. They both turn to look at the timer.
00:00:00
Clearly not a bomb after all. At least not a very well put together one.
The relief is tempered with gravity of what they've just done dawning on her, although apparently it doesn't dawn Chuck. He still simply looks confused. The real world comes flooding back to her, and all the crushing responsibilities that come with it. The relationship between an asset and a handler. The need for Beckman's assurance that she's not compromised with Chuck. The need to keep the Intersect safe for the good of the nation.
The need to hurt Chuck. ….. And to deny herself.
"Well, the good news is that we're alive. And the bad news is that this is kind of an uncomfortable moment right now." She's been making believe – for the good of the mission of course- that she's not falling for Chuck so far and so fast. But it's all been a lie and now he knows it. Will she be able to get him to trust her again? Will this make him more or less willing to listen to her?
"It's completely comfortable on my end." Chuck admits matter-of-factly. "Just saying". This doesn't help her at all.
Guys will let you down Walker.
The kiss had been entirely his fault. Of course she had kissed him, but it wouldn't have been necessary … and it had been so very very necessary … if Chuck had just listened to her and stayed away when he was supposed to. Or run when he was supposed to. Then her fiction might have held up. Of course Casey had seen through it – but he was a spy. Chuck had totally bought that she wasn't into him- that she was too sophisticated, too worldly, too attracted to alpha males and the machismo they bring to a relationship to be attracted to the likes of him - that's why he went to Lou in the first place. The facade had been perfect - it had been working … but now the non-bomb had blown it away.
He's going to be insufferable now… … … … but he's a good kisser though.
Bryce Larkin not dead after all …. Or a traitor … Fulcrum … Fulcrum…Lon Kirk …Ilsa Trinchina … GLG-20 … Lizzie the Schwarma Girl … Longshore
Sarah's idea of romance usually involves flowers, chocolates, candlelight dinners, nice hotels, and pretty vistas like views from the Eiffel Tower, or perhaps the ocean like that first morning with Chuck. And yet … there is unusual amounts of romance to be found in this, probably the most nauseating and vile task she's ever performed.
She and Chuck are in a dumpster, searching for the ring that Lizze the Schwarma Girl cum Fulcrum agent had briefly owned. After being dispatched by Sarah, the two women had found themselves here in this dumpster … the contents of which are chest high in some places. But Chuck is stubbornly, meticulously searching through the refuse, determined to make Devon's proposal to his sister happen, no matter what horrors he has to …
"Ooooh! Oh! Ladies' feminine products. That's not good… that's not good." Chuck voices his discomfort, but braver … or perhaps simply more dedicated … than most men, he continues his search. "Are you sure that Lizzie didn't have the ring on her?" he asks hopefully.
"When they took her away, all she had was the receiver." Sarah informs glumly, trying to remember exactly where Lizzie's left hand would have been when she landed in the dumpster.
"Oh, then it's got to be here somewhere" Chuck says with grim determination as he closely examines a box of something unspeakable.
"You know, Chuck, if we can't find it, we can just replace it" Talking Chuck out of finding the ring is going to be difficult, but perhaps she could start things buy suggesting that they put a clock on it.
Chuck will have none of it. "Look look look! It was Awesome's great granny's ring, and it's going to be my sister's okay? Even if it's covered in coffee grounds and miscellaneous DNA." Certainly not for the first time Sarah is impressed with Chuck's willingness to go to inconvenience – in this case unspeakably gross and disgusting inconvenience - for someone important to him. Simultaneously, she's a little annoyed at the universe for having assigned so wonderful a man to her professional life, but not to her personal one.
"Ha hah hah! Heyyyyy I FOUND IT!" Despite the fact that he's covered in revolting refuse, Chuck's glee is obvious, and he flashes an overjoyed smile as he holds up the ring for Sarah to see. Perseus himself could not have looked more delighted holding up the severed head of Medusa.
"Let's go!" Chuck chirps with glee as he climbs over the top of the dumpster, and offers Sarah a hand and an arm out for herself.
They make their way to Sarah's Porsche. "Buckle up, Chuck" she growls. As Chuck hops into the shotgun seat, a grouchy thought clouds over her mood. "By the way, do you know how much it costs to detail a Porsche, to get the stink of garbage out of it?"
"Um, no. Can't say that I do." Chuck says a bit distractedly, inspecting the ring for any more defilement.
"You will by this time next week." Sarah sends a snarky smile his way. She's happy for Chuck … and for Ellie and Devon … truly she is. It's just that she already knows full well that her job practically excludes the joys and pleasures of family life – and that includes having family members like Devon Ellie and Chuck. In just a few minutes, Devon's going to ask Ellie to be a part of his life forever … she just watched Chuck dumpster dive in order to make it happen. Just as she often regrets that Chuck is … or at least should be … nothing more than an asset to her, it has in these last few months become almost as painful that Ellie and Devon are … should be … nothing more than The Asset's Family to her.
Later, spying at the window, Sarah and Chuck watch Devon propose – it's a clear and obvious success.
"Don't you think you should go in and congratulate Ellie?" Sarah suggests.
"Do you want to come in with me?" Chuck offers.
The sincere invitation takes Sarah by surprise. "Oh, it's family time" she reluctantly sighs. Allowing herself to give into the illusion that Ellie and Devon are her own family – or even her own friends- is every bit as dangerous as sleeping with Chuck would be… …
… … Although it's every bit as tempting, she feels a minute later. Chuck Devon and Ellie in a group hug, crying in glee, sighing with delight, too happy to even quiz Chuck on why he smells like Oscar the Grouch.
Chuck has never said his family was perfect, in fact what little she knows about his parents, they're very far from it. And yet the scene in front of Sarah seems to be one of complete domestic bliss. On the outside and looking in, Sarah suddenly feels a cool, lonely chill, despite the warm south California weather, and her eyes begin to moisten at the happy family in front of her. .. so nearby and yet so very far away.
Guys will let you down, Walker.
Chuck lets her down on occasion – almost periodically—when she wants him to stay in the car, but when it comes to the ones who matter most to Chuck, he's ready to spend a frighteningly large amount of time in the most unclean filth. She's tightly in the grip of someone who doesn't seem to want to let anybody down … and is more than willing to include her. If only the world could let them be together – but from what Sarah's seen of the world, it doesn't have the ability to be so kind.