At Melanie's request we go to the best bridal shop in the city. Mark Ingram Bridal Atelier, apparently a good friend of hers works there. As soon as we walk in I begin to feel uncomfortable, the dresses look so expensive.
A woman named Wendy meets us wearing a huge smile. Her and Melanie hug as they squeal, they are not acting like grown woman in a bridal shop. After their brief reunion Melanie introduces me, "This is my soon to be daughter in law Gabby and she needs the perfect dress for her perfect day".
Melanie, my mom and I have been going over all the wedding details with Phoebe Braxton, the wedding coordinator, and so far the wedding is coming together a lot better than I thought it would in the time spand we have. I link arms with Alexis as we follow Melanie and her friend to the top floor. Chris had Alexis, Victoria and Riley flown in while Ariah came with Melanie and my mom.
"These dresses look so expensive", I observe.
Alexis rolls her eyes, "Like that should really mean that much to you".
I shake my head, it shouldn't but it does. I wasn't in this marriage for money. I truly loved Chris with all my heart.
We are taken to a private room where an assortment of dresses wait for me. "Miss. Scott I pulled some of the most popular dresses by every designer in this store. I will go get some wine for everyone", she walks back out the door and everyone takes a seat. I sit my purse down so I can look through the dresses. I knew what style I wanted, I just haven't found it yet.
"Try something on already", my mom said after thirty minutes of me sorting through the dresses.
"I will when I see something I like", I reply. I haven't seen the dress that screamed, "hey, pick me. I'm the dress that's going to wow Chris". I know exactly what he likes. I know he likes strapless dresses on me. I then remember how he reacted to my prom dress. I can only imagine what his reaction to my wedding dress will be.
I've gone through nine racks until I find it. I can't help but smile, "This one", I announce pulling it out. I'm happy to find it's my size.
"Oh, I love it", Ariah said stepping out of the dressing room. They have been looking for royal blue bridesmaid dresses the entire time I was looking for mine. I loved her dress too.
Wendy brought in the matching shoes and asked if I wanted a vale, I shake my head, I think my hair is too short for one. Wendy takes my dress and I sit down to have my first glass of wine, "One shoulder huh?", mom asks.
"I know what Chris likes".
"So you picked that out for him?"
I shake my head, "No, I like the dress, I just thought about what he and I both liked on me. Besides if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't even be here right now ".
That shut her up and I continue on with my wine. It really is her fault I'm here, not that I don't want to be. I am happy, I'm getting married when I thought it would never happen after me and Damien. He left me very hurt and confused.
Then on top of that, Troy and I are together raising our baby. Even if we're not a couple. A couple days ago we were at his house watching tv while Jaden was taking a nap. Out of no where he asks if I still thought about him, I looked at him with a confused look so he explained what he meant.
"I mean, like sleeping with me. Do you ever think about sleeping with me again".
I had to stare at him for a second because I did. Damien was good in bed but not good enough to make me completely forget how Troy was in bed.
"Sometimes yes. Why?".
He shrugged, "Just wondering".
We didn't talk about it anymore but I had a suspicion he had more to say. He turned on the couch to lay down and pulled my feet onto his stomach so he could massage them. I didn't stop him because I didn't see anything wrong with it. Chris might have but I didn't. Troy use to massage my feet all the time when we were together. They were his favorite part of my body.
I sigh as I pull myself back into the present. The wedding is five weeks away and here I am thinking about my son's father. I shake my head as my brides maids step out to show me what royal blue short one shoulder dress they found. I looked at them then decided on the dress Riley's wearing, "I love that one".
Wendy put in an order for four dresses after taking their size and we are off to a late lunch. While at the table I distracte myself so I won't talk to Chris. Last time that happened I got lost in my memories in front of my friends. I really missed him, he's been working late lately so he won't have a lot of work to do on our honeymoon. I appreciated the thought of him giving me his full undevided attention while we're away but I've been very needy since he woke up this side of me that fell asleep after my first night with Damien.
We mostly fall into heated passion when Troy has his week with Jaden. This is when Chris lets go and takes me as he pleases. I think my favorite time was when he came home and told Susan to leave early. He proceeded to tell me to put my hands against the window wall where he teased me while telling me to never move my hands from the window. When he made love to me, it was slow and sweet and I was left reeling when he made me finish.
He took me to the bathroom where he ran a bath still turned on. It made me wonder how he built that stamina without sleeping with other women to obtain it. We bathed together and he teased me some more with a vibrator I had no idea he owned. When I was good and relaxed he washed me off. He then took me back down stairs so he could feed me dinner. After we were finished, he took me again on the kitchen counter.
I'm pretty sure I left some very good scratch marks on his back that night and that was when I began feeling needy for him. Even with Jaden there, after we put him to bed I would try and coax him into bed with me but he'd refuse, he apparently prefers the place totally empty so he can make my scream over and over again without anyone hearing. I understood that but he didn't understand just how much I craved his touch.
I was beginning to hate sleeping naked with him because he'll only take advantage of it when Troy has Jaden. I asked him what he was going to do once we had a baby and he said we'd figure it out once that happened, but until then when we're alone we're going to have a lot of crazy sex around the house.
I sigh as I look around the table at the girls discussing the wedding.
No one has to deal with a man who can be hot for sex one second then cold the next. I was still sore from our last session, the ache makes me smile.
Someone said my name, "Do you know how many children you and Chris are going to have?", it's Ariah.
We actually haven't talked about it, "Well I suppose he hopes our first child will be a boy. We haven't talked about anymore after that".
"Any names for my baby cousin?", she asks.
I shake my head no.
"Have you talked about it at all?", Melanie asks.
I shake my head again, "I think we're just enjoying being an engaged couple".
"Did he explain the time limit?", Melanie went on totally ignoring me.
I nod my head, "Yes, I know we have to at least be pregnant the first year of our marriage. I'm sure we will be whether it's a honeymoon baby or we just get pregnant. It'll happen"
It doesn't look like that answer satisfies Melanie. Not one bit and that makes the rest of this lunch awkward. When it's over I decide I want to go home. There we relax and watch tv until Chris came home from work.
"Hello ladies. I hope you had a productive day", he comes to stand behind me taking my shoulder.
"Yes, we found dresses right away", Melanie answers excitedly.
He squeezes my shoulder and I know what that means. I stand up and go up stairs while he continues to talk to his mother. I'm standing in front of the window when his arms wrap around my waist, "What's wrong?".
I sigh resting my head back on his shoulder, "What do you want to name him?".
There is a long pause before he answers, "Are you pregnant?".
I shake my head. He tightens his hold on me and kisses my shoulder, "Then why are you worried about it. When you're pregnant then we'll talk about it, besides our first child might be a girl for all we know".
This is why we don't talk about this. He pushes it off but he isn't going to do that this time. I want an answer. "I like Aiden".
He's quiet at first, I guess he's letting it sink in. "Aiden Harrington. Hm, I like it but what if it's a girl? What will we name her?".
I thought about it for a split second then said, "If it's a girl we can name her Rebecca".
He laughs at me which makes me laugh too, "You don't mean that, but fine if it's a boy we'll name him Aiden Damien".
"Damien?", I ask looking up at him.
He nods rubbing his nose against mine, "It runs smoothly don't you think?".
I nod my head in agreement. He leans down to kiss me, his hold on my body tight and it hits me. I pull away from him, "How long are you trying to wait?".
His green eyes turn dark and he let's me go with a heavy sigh. That answers my question but I want him to say it. "Chris, tell me".
He sits on the bed loosening his tie, "I want you to myself for a little while. When you suggested Troy should move with us to stay near Jaden I thought that was the best idea ever. I can have you to myself for an entire week but this baby thing is like a dark shadow over that.
"Yeah I get what the baby means for me but what about us?. You're not going to be my wife for nothing, I want to take you around the world Gabby. Show you things you've never known. That's partially why I'm working all these long hours, so I'm not distracted by work while we're on our honeymoon. I want kids with you believe me I do. I just want you to myself for a little while".
I fold my arms leaning back on the window, that would be nice if we had just a little time to ourselves as husband and wife. But I don't want him to loose his position as CEO of his family's company, "So how long?".
He shrugs, "A year. Just give us a year and then we can try for a baby".
"What will you tell the board?"
"That we are trying as hard as we can to bring the next generation Harrington into the world".
I'll give this to him. I'm starting to think I'll give Chris just about anything as long as we talk about it first. I sit beside him taking his hand in mine, "Do you have your groomsmen?"
He nodd, "Four men for your four women".
I lay my head on his shoulder, "Are they your friends or are they random people?".
He laughs laying us back on the bed, "Yes baby, they are my friends".
"Good, I was beginning to think I'm your only friend".
EVERYTHING IS IN PLACE for the wedding except for one thing. I have to plan Jaden's birthday. Troy and I are sitting at his dinning room table filling out college applications while Jaden plays in the livingroom. I've been thinking about his birthday for a while but I'm not sure what to do. "What should we do for his birthday?"
Troy shrugs his shoulders, "I don't know, do you have any ideas?"
I lean back in my chair annoyed I'm always the one thinking about these kinds of things. "Well we don't go out often enough to see what kind of things this city has for kids, I don't know maybe we'll just throw a little party at the house or something", this is beginning to frustrate me.
He shrugs again and that tells me we should just do that. I pick up my phone then put it back down, I got a text from Damien and I'm not ready to open it which leads him to keep texting me every hour on the hour.
It's not that I don't want to talk to him, I just didn't know what to say. My phone vibrates again and I see it's Susan saying I have a visitor. "Hey I'll be right back", I tell Troy.
Making it back home I walk in to find Damien standing in my living room, I'm stunned into stillness.
What is he doing here?.
He turns to me with a smile, "I've been trying to reach you to tell you I'm in town but you weren't answering so I talked to Chris and here I am".
I shake my head as I make my way down the steps, "Hi, how are you?". He reaches for me pulling me into a tight hug, I don't know how to respond other than to wrap my arms around him. That nagging in the back of my mind for the last month about how much I miss talking to Damien finally pushes through and I start crying.
It's unexpected but very strong. Damien pulls back taking my face in his hands to whip away the tears. "Hey, what's wrong?. Don't cry".
Him telling me not to cry makes me cry harder, I'm very confused as to why. Damien takes me to the couch to sit down where he pulls me into his arms so he can rock me back and forth until I finish crying.
I can not for the life of me figure out why I'm crying but it feels good to be in his arms again. As I calm down I can't help but take in his smell, I didn't realize he'd be able to tell.
"Are you smelling me?", he laughs pulling away. I pull him back not ready to let him go yet.
I rub my face on his chest craving to actually feel his skin against mine again. "Just a little bit, yes", I admit.
His hands rub up and down my back while I stare out the window thinking about why I would cry like that. Yes, I missed Damien but not enough that it would drive me to tears.
Damien leans back on the couch making my body stretch out beside his. My head restes right over his heart and by the sound of it, his pulse is beating quite fast. I know it's because of me and the fact that I had a little episode.
I don't know how long we stayed like that. I still don't know why he is here and I don't care. I frown when I realize I feel this way. I should care that a man who is not my soon to be husband is holding me in such an intament way.
How would Chris feel about this. I slowly sit up, Damien's arms fall away from my body leaving it tingling. I know for a fact I'm going beg Chris to love me tonight.
I stand up and go to the kitchen for something to drink, thinking back to what just happened in the livingroom, embarrassment washes over me like cold water.
How could I do that?.
No.
Why did I do that?.
A sick feeling comes over me making me hope I'm wrong. I down my water just as Damien comes to check on me.
"Feel better?"
I shake my head placing the cup in the sink. "Lets go to the drug store, I need to get something".
Twenty minutes later I'm in the bathroom pacing the space waiting for results. How could I not have been more careful, I wasn't even paying attention to if I got my period or not. What will Chris think about not getting his year with me, we'll be three instead of two and a half. How could this happen?.
I didn't notice how long I was pacing until Damien knocks on the door, "Hey it's been five minutes, what's going on in there?".
"Wait a second", I say picking up the stick.
At this moment, smiley faces are not my favorite text emotion or human emotion.
I'm pregnant.