A/N: My longest update so far. I didn't want to split it up, though, because the flow is important. This is a sort of slice-of-life, close inspection of how Azula returning to the palace after her imprisonment might have played out. Please tell me what you think!
"You look so beautiful, Azula."
Azula peered at her reflection to gauge the compliment's accuracy. She was wearing a crimson gown that touched the floor. Metal bracelets with flame designs graced both of her wrists. Ty Lee had used some make-up on her, so her amber eyes were outlined in black and her lips shined under a layer of gloss. Only her hair was plain, hanging down her back with her bangs falling freely over her eyes. Even that way, it was perfect, if Ty Lee were to be believed.
Azula had spent a lot of time relearning to believe Ty Lee. Extending trust to others, including Mai, was still impossible. Still, when she made an effort, it pleased Ty Lee, and that was something. It seemed her only duty since her crown had been taken away was to make sure the acrobat was happy. It was a self-imposed goal, because Azula had to have something to work towards. Idleness was not an option.
"Shall we go then?" Ty Lee offered Azula her hand. She looked exquisite in a short, light pink dress. Instead of a braid, her hair was loose too, cascading down her back in waves. Ribbons the same color of her dress were tied in bows on either side of her head. Azula took her soft hand and they walked together to main courtyard.
Despite its large size, it was crowded with nobles and palace workers anxious to witness the marriage between Fire Lord Zuko and the soon-to-be Fire Lady Mai. No one paid any attention to Ty Lee and Azula. When Azula first returned to the palace, a full year ago, people had stared and pointed at her wherever she went. One day, they'd simply stopped, and Azula knew Ty Lee was the cause, though she never asked what she'd done.
Ty Lee laced her fingers through Azula's and stayed right by her side as they made their way to the seats near the altar that had been reserved for family and close friends. Azula held back for one moment when she saw Avatar Aang and his close-knit group. As usual, they regarded her with suspicion, and Ty Lee returned their looks with a glare as they sat down on the opposite side of the aisle.
When the sun reached its highest point, Avatar Aang stood before the altar and silenced everyone. Over three years had passed since he had ended the war, but the small teenager with his big hazel eyes retained his innocent features and aura. People respected him for what he'd done, of their own volition. He never had to use fear to instill obedience.
Azula mentally recited lines like this to remind herself, over and over, that the philosophies she'd been raised to believe were inherently wrong.
He began speaking. "On behalf of my good friend Zuko, I want to thank everyone for coming. It's an important day for the Fire Nation. After this ceremony, Fire Lord Zuko will be able to rule this nation with the one he loves for the rest of their days. We all saw this coming..." He smiled as the crowd laughed at the truth of the statement. Zuko and Mai were inseparable, and it could even be said she helped rule the nation already.
Ironic, really. Azula was just a peasant in the crowd and her former underling Mai would be wearing the crown. The thought stirred up unpleasant feelings in Azula's chest, so she clutched Ty Lee's hand tighter, which was a lot less destructive than her old methods of stress relief.
"And here comes the couple now."
Zuko and Mai were received with raucous cheers and applause. They wore similar crimson robes and strolled through the parting crowd without ever fully looking away from each other's face. A look of adoration was on Zuko's; Mai's expression was of content love. Azula was glad Ty Lee was sitting between her and the aisle as a sort of buffer from Mai. They had spoken in years, ever since Mai had betrayed Azula by rescuing Zuko. Azula didn't care if they ever spoke again, or so she told herself.
They stood before Aang and now it was Zuko's turn to speak. After a warm greeting, he explained, "It is customary to honor one's ancestors at this time, but we'll be doing something a little different. In this time of peace, it would be wrong to praise the memory of my father, and my mother, well..." He broke off, but he didn't need to complete the sentence. Everyone knew Ursa was still missing and that Zuko still yearned to find her. "Mai and I have decided to use this opportunity to honor someone else." Even Aang seemed puzzled, stepping back so whoever they were speaking of could have the spotlight.
Then Zuko turned to where Azula and Ty Lee sat. "Azula, would you please come up here?"
Ty Lee squeezed Azula's hand in reassurance, though she was equally clueless as to what this was about. Azula looked around her; everyone was staring curiously at her, waiting for her to move. She released her friend's hand and went to stand by Zuko and Mai.
"Azula, we want you to know you're an important part of our family. And now I'd like to reinstate you, my sister, as Princess of the Fire Nation."
Mai reached into a hidden pocket- no matter what she had on, it always had a hidden compartment or two- and pulled out a familiar item. It was Azula's crown, taken away from her before her imprisonment in a psychiatric ward. Both Mai and Zuko seemed to be waiting for Azula to say something. She stated, "I accept."
She suddenly felt hands behind her and recognized the gentle touch to be Ty Lee's. Her hair was wound into a bun and pinned into place by the acrobat's skillful hands. When Ty Lee stepped back, Mai stepped forward and crowned her. Azula glanced at the crowd from the corner of her eye, holding her breath. Slowly, they began clapping, until the courtyard was almost as loud as when Zuko and Mai had appeared.
She didn't miss that none of Avatar Aang's friends were clapping, though.
After a curt nod, she and Ty Lee took their seats again and the ceremony resumed. It was short and simple and ended with Zuko and Mai bowing formally to one another. Rather than staying for the banquet, Azula expressed her desire to leave, and she and Ty Lee slipped back to their room.
"Wow, Azula! You're the princess again! I'm so happy for you." Ty Lee sprawled across the bed and smiled at her friend. "How do you feel?"
"I feel no different than before I was reinstated," Azula confessed. "The title is meaningless when it is final. I always dreamed of being Fire Lord... So what purpose does a princess's crown hold for me now?"
"A lot," Ty Lee replied confidently. "Because you heard what Zuko said, right? You really are important to him. And Mai wanted this too. They forgive you for whatever happened in the past."
"I wonder about that. Mai still hasn't said a word to me, and we've been living in the place for a year now."
"The palace is pretty big, Azula," Ty Lee giggled. "Anyway, that means you haven't spoken to her either. So just say hi the next time you see her. Well, when she's not busy with Zuko," she added slyly.
Azula shuddered. "Please don't imply things like that about my brother. They can keep their disgusting romantic life to themselves." She sat down next to Ty Lee and pulled the crown from her hair. Ty Lee gave her a questioning glance. "It's heavy," Azula said with a shrug. "I'll have to get used to wearing it again."
"Take all the time you need."
...-...
For two years, the only people Azula had any contact with were her numerous therapists and a handful of guards. Some of the therapists, especially early on, gave up and left the emotionally broken, violent ex-princess. One stood out from the rest, and though Azula was loath to say she liked this man, she at least didn't despise him. He allowed her to use her bending behind Fire Lord Zuko's back and he never called her crazy when she thought her mother was in the room with them. It was like maybe he trusted her, genuinely wanted her to get better.
This didn't compute in Azula's mind; everyone she knew only did things that benefited them, including herself. She accused him of putting up with her for money, and he had brought in his salary and burned it right in front of her, saying, "I'm doing this for you."
"But why?"
"Because no one should have to ask why someone wants to be nice to them. I want to erase the unhealthy mentality you were raised to regard as the sole truth."
Before long, he was the only therapist Azula would cooperate with. She still sneered at what she called his weak-hearted ideals, but they were beginning to sink in and to make sense, even if they did clash with what she'd always believed.
It was a slow process. She had been imprisoned for over a year when he brought up Mai and Ty Lee. When she firebended at him, he didn't see it as a set-back, but a step closer to understanding her mental state and helping her understand what she was feeling. Three months later, she admitted she missed them.
"If you want to be part of their lives again," he said, "you cannot treat them as you used to. Do not scare them, do not threaten them, and most of all do not try to control them. You might be scared yourself to think that they won't want to see you if you aren't forcing them too. Feel that fear and imagine what they must have been feeling with you. Love is more powerful than fear in the end, Azula. Mai proved that. Ty Lee proved that."
Azula did not believe they would want to see her again, and she was half-right. Only Ty Lee came the day she was to be released into Zuko's custody. She had come without being ordered to, and that meant something. Iroh and Ty Lee rode with her in a carriage back to the palace, and Azula didn't say a word. Iroh chatted about the weather, Ty Lee talked about her days as a Kyoshi warrior, and Azula kept her eyes trained out the window. When they reached the palace, she said, "You've gotten taller, Ty Lee."
It was just enough like the old days to make Azula feel strange. Ty Lee doted on Azula, they ate in one of the courtyards or the dining room where the portraits of her ancestors hung, and even slept in her old bedroom. The differences existed, of course. People spoke of Fire Lord Zuko, not Ozai. The Avatar and his friends, people she'd tried to kill, roamed the halls of the palace. And Mai ignored her completely.
After two weeks, Azula asked, "Do you forgive me, Ty Lee?"
Ty Lee's eyes had filled with tears. "Do you know what it means that you asked if I forgive you? I thought- I was so afraid you'd still be furious at me for protecting Mai from you. Honestly, at first I was glad to be away from you. I didn't have to worry about my life or chase people I didn't care about around the globe. But I really missed you, too. Even though you've done a lot of bad things, I know you're not a bad person. You're my best friend, Azula. You're already forgiven."
...-...
Azula was an early riser. Since her return to the palace, she'd taken up practicing her bending in the early morning again. The activity seemed almost empty, since she wasn't being pressured to perfection anymore. At first, she'd done it alone, sneaking outside and leaving Ty Lee asleep, but when Ty Lee realized what she was doing, she began coming to watch. Ty Lee preferred sleeping in, and she was always yawning as Azula lit up the scenery with blue fire, but she never missed a practice once she began. It meant more to Azula than she was ever willing to say.
A few mornings after the wedding, Zuko joined them too. Things were awkward between them, and probably always would be. The best they could expect from each other was civility.
"You haven't practiced bending lightning since you came back, have you?"
"Observant of you."
"Why?"
"Does it matter?"
"I think it does."
It was not Azula's voice that answered that; it was Mai's. "Maybe she's turned over a new leaf. One that doesn't involve killing people with electricity." The most powerful woman in the Fire Nation strolled past Zuko and stood in front of Azula. Ty Lee tensed up, remembering the last time they'd been face to face like this.
Azula said, "I am enough of a prodigy without lightning bending."
"That's not it," Zuko interjected. "When I joined the Avatar's group, I lost my ability to bend fire for awhile, because my purpose had shifted so drastically. You've lost a lot of your passion, Azula, and though you can still bend fire well, I think your ability to bend lightning has disappeared."
Azula snapped, "What do I have to be passionate for? You've taken my title and now I have nothing to strive for."
"Not right now. But you'll find something to fight for, I'm sure of it."
"Thanks, Uncle," she replied, rolling her eyes.
"Stop it, Azula," Mai said. "He's just worried about you. You know why? Because we still care about you."
"It shows," she retorted. "You're happy to deal with me as little as possible."
"Because I knew we would start fighting again. I knew it would be better for you to recuperate under Ty Lee's care. You two were always closer. But I'm here now, so you can't say I've turned my back on you. Maybe one day, we can be friends again as well." She finished her speech and left, Zuko following behind.
...-...
Princess Azula and Ty Lee listened to Aang and Zuko argue back and forth over how best to deal with colonials and rebuild the many cities destroyed in the war and create balance for the first time in a century. All of their friends were chiming in with various suggestions, sitting at a round table as Azula and Ty Lee sat in a corner by themselves. Azula was getting fed up with how the conversation was going in circles and stated, "Even if you want to place all the blame on the Fire Nation, our race isn't exactly known for restoration. Let the Fire Nation do what it's good at- designing technology to speed up the rebuilding process, rallying behind your ideals of harmony and spreading their popularity- and let the other nations step in and help as well. If you're really expecting firebenders to fix the scar they left on the world, you're being foolish. Your movement requires all the nations to combine their strengths to establish even a precarious balance."
Everyone blinked at her, stunned, for a few moments. It was Sokka who gained his voice back first. "You're giving us tips on how to make things better?"
"Never thought I'd see the day," Katara muttered.
"You aren't planning to gain our trust and then abuse it, are you?" Suki asked suspiciously.
"She sounded sincere, but she's fooled us before," Toph put in.
"Oh, would you all just stop it?" Ty Lee exclaimed. "Azula is the smartest person in this room! She always has the best ideas for making things work."
"Peace isn't her area of expertise, though," Sokka pointed out.
"But she's good at everything!"
Mai said, "Azula's right. Even if one nation could fix the balance, it would take much longer than all three working together. It's important for the Water Tribe and Earth Kingdom to forgive us, since we've shown how we're moving in a new direction under Zuko's leadership." The way she emphasized the last sentence let them all know they had someone they needed to forgive as well. "Azula, why don't you and Ty Lee come sit with us?"
They did, sitting between Mai and Zuko. The others didn't protest. It wasn't much, but it was a start.
...-...
Mai's groans of pain were audible from behind the closed door. Katara could be heard shouting for water, a towel, or for Zuko to get out of her way. "Why do we have to be here?" grumbled Azula from her spot in the hallway.
"Because you're going to be an aunt! Oh, I bet the baby's going to be so cute."
"I doubt it. Infants are incapable of being endearing."
Ty Lee wasn't really listening and started to wonder aloud about what they would name the baby. "I hope it's a girl! Maybe they'll name her Ame, or Agui, or, or-" Azula tuned her out until Katara opened the door and motioned for them to come in.
A sweat-soaked Mai was holding a tiny baby wrapped in a crimson blanket. Zuko was gingerly holding its hand, looking amazed at how fragile and small it was. He smiled at his sister and Ty Lee. "It's a girl. We're going to name her Honora."
"Of course you are," Azula muttered, staying back while Ty Lee all but pounced on the bed, squealing over the baby.
After a few minutes of baby Honora being passed around, Mai asked if Azula wanted to hold her. "I don't think so..." Azula seemed to regard the infant with suspicion.
"She's your niece. Here, just hold her for a minute." Zuko placed her in Azula's arms. Azula made a face at her wrinkled, red skin and the drool coming from the corner of her mouth. Honora squirmed a bit closer to the warmth of Azula's body. When exactly a minute had passed, Azula handed her back. "Congratulations, I suppose." She prepared to leave when Zuko held out an arm in front of her.
"If she's a firebender, I want you to be her teacher."
Azula looked him in the eye and said, "I'll consider it, when the time comes."
...-...
"Kick higher!" Azula barked, correcting the four-year-old bender's form. Little Honora tried, and mostly succeeded, in getting her leg up even higher and creating an arc of flame.
She complained, "Ty Lee is nicer to me. Look at what she showed me!" She followed the statement with a somersault.
"Well, that's great if you want to follow in her footsteps and join the circus, but if you want to be a ruler of this nation, you're going to have to master firebending."
Honora scowled, but was more than used to Azula's harsh teachings and vocabulary that she couldn't entirely understand.
"Azula, stop being mean to her!" Ty Lee scolded, walking over to them on her hands. Honora clapped at the spectacle.
"I'm not being mean, I'm being honest."
"Well, you could be honest in a nicer way!"
Honora giggled and said, "You two fight like Dad and Mom!"
"All right, go back inside. But you better work harder tomorrow."
When Honora was back with Mai, Ty Lee and Azula sat together under a huge tree behind the palace. The quiet was nice, but Ty Lee eventually broke it to ask, "How do you like being an advisor?"
Azula's new position in the palace was advising Zuko in anything and everything he was worried about. She could tell he truly valued her input, as of course he should; she had a tendency to be accurate in all her strategies. Even "Team Avatar" began looking for her for advice in various things.
"...It's okay."
Ty Lee looked at her searchingly. "Are you happy, Azula? You seem to be content, but I want you to be more than that."
"I don't deserve more than that," Azula said, looking away.
"Of course you do."
"You're the only one who really thinks so. Even if the others have accepted me now, I don't belong here. That's clear enough."
"Then where shall we go?"
Azula gazed sharply at her friend. "Excuse me?"
"If you aren't happy here, we can go wherever you want. I'll follow you wherever, I promise."
Azula considered her words and returned the question. "Where do you want to go?"
"I belong wherever you are, Azula. That's where I'm happy. So, you pick. Or we can just keep traveling until we find a place you like."
Azula thought about all the places she'd seen in the world and couldn't think of any she'd especially liked. She hadn't been to any of them to enjoy herself; she'd always been on a mission. Ty Lee could see her dilemma and suggested, "Why don't we just head east? It doesn't matter where we end up, but I'm sure we'll have a lot of fun along the way. I went to some great places when I was with the Kyoshi warriors."
"Maybe you're the crazy one, Ty Lee," Azula mused. "So, when are we leaving?"
...-...
On a silk pillow in an empty bedroom in the palace of the Fire Nation rests a flame-shaped crown and a pink ribbon, a testament to two women, born of noble blood, who set out to claim a destiny neither expected to want.