A/N: Thank you all for reading and reviewing! All of the Sam bits in this are fondly dedicated to sammysmissingshoe. That said, warning: there is blood/torture in this chapter. If that in any way offends you please skip it!
Thanks to The Hope Lions, sammysmissingshoe, Kas3y, Samey Winchester, Charlie N Perfuro, VattaKeto, Sharllissa, in-silent-seas, Jenna, cessoceanlilly, and spnfan44 for reviewing! I'm also thrilled that you all thought my demon-virus theory was feasible in the SPN universe. Enjoy this next bit!
-Jaq
Dean looked around, appraising the hastily-set-up camp. Turning to Risa, he gestured to the scene around them. "So...are you a hunter?"
Risa frowned, giving Dean an odd look. She glanced at the gun she was carrying, and then back at Dean. "Hunter? I'm ex-Marine, if you're wondering why I know how to handle a gun. Are you a...hunter?"
Dean sighed. "...Of sorts." He turned to Kevin, who shrugged. "It's hard to explain. You said you're ex-Marine?"
Risa grimaced and nodded. Pulling up her left pant leg, she revealed a prosthetic foot. "Honorable discharge. Fancy way of saying I got my foot blown off. But yeah, I served seven years."
Dean nodded, not saying anything more. They walked along a hard-packed gravel road into the main building, its tall brick walls imposing upon the trashy landscape. A few meters before he entered, Dean looked around again at the camp. It was sparsely populated, with only a few people milling around. Last time he had been there, there were lots of people. Then again, he thought, it's only been two days.
Two days. Damn, was it really only two days? Two days since the world started going to hell, again. His shoes crunched on the road leading to the door, and he glanced back at the entrance. The Impala was still parked outside, and Amir and another man were standing guard.
"Uh," Kevin spoke up suddenly, causing Risa to turn and look, "where...I mean, is there...houses? Somewhere to go?"
Risa smiled grimly. "It's a prison. Make yourself at home, buddy. Most of us have taken over the cells in the back. 'Course, you could always stay outside." She smiled. "Though it gets pretty cool at night."
Kevin nodded, swallowing. "You said there was a virologist here?"
"Yeah, Anjalie's got the clinic. She came from the hospital in the city yesterday morning; she's fantastic. That's where we're going." They arrived at the prison, and Risa punched in a key code. "The code's 3792," she commented, "in case you need to get in. It's set for lockdown, in case any infected get in here."
Dean shook his head in amazement. "You set all this up in two days?"
"The prison was evacuated and set for demolition a few weeks ago. That's why there are so many Call it luck, call it fate, I don't know, but Amir's a tech genius and figured out a way to hack into the system when it all started. He started broadcasting on the radio right away, and people came trickling in."
They passed several offices until Risa took a left hand turn. She rapped on the door, and it was opened by a young woman with curly brown hair pulled into a ponytail. She wore a white lab coat and glasses.
"Hi!" she said brightly, smiling at them. "I take it you three are the people whose blood I just tested?"
Dean nodded. "I'm Dean, the short one's Kevin, and the guy behind me is Cas."
Kevin gave Dean a look at being referred to "the short one," but he didn't comment.
"I'm Anjalie. So, uh...it's my job to tell you about the virus. It's spread through blood-"
"I know," Dean said darkly. Taking a deep breath, he looked at Anjalie intensely. "Do you believe in demons?"
Taken aback, Anjalie wrinkled her nose slightly. "I-um, I haven't really thought about it. No, I guess? Why?"
"It's a demon virus. And I know this sounds absurd, but you have to believe me. There's sulfur in the blood, right?"
Anjalie nodded, still unsure where Dean was going with it all. "And...?"
Dean gave a frustrated sigh. "Kevin, you explain it."
"The short one" smiled, looking at Anjalie. "I'm pretty new to the idea, too. But it's all true."
-:-
I can beat you. I did it before. I can beat you. I did it before. I can beat you...
Sam was huddled in the corner of the room, his (fake) knees drawn up and his focus on his (fake) fingers. They were tapping along to the beat of his mantra. His (fake) fingers were something to focus on, something to keep all of his attention on so that he didn't just lose it.
Beat me? You couldn't lift a finger against me, Sammy.
Sam jolted, his (fake) head snapping up and his (fake) pupils dilating in response to the (very real) voice. He clenched his (fake) hands, his (fake) fingers digging into his palms hard enough to cause (real) pain.
I can beat you. I did it before. I can beat you. I did it before. I can beat you...
He closed his (fake) eyes tightly, gritting his (fake) teeth and trying to shut it all out, focusing on nothing but the mantra, the mantra, because he'd done it, so he could do it again, right? He just had to push up-
Sam's (fake) eyes flew open, and he scrabbled with his (fake) hands against something that was pressing him in.
He breathed in and out, his (fake) chest moving up and down faster and faster.
And he was out of it, back in the room, and he was standing, and his hair was soaking wet, dripping red splatters down his body. Sam gasped, a searing pain splitting his head open. He collapsed, hands scrabbling, holding his head, rocking against the wall-
See? Isn't this so much fun? Sam, you couldn't beat me. Don't pretend. Don't you know that the one thing you should never do is set unrealistic goals? You'll just disappoint yourself.
Sam forced himself to open his eyes, to pull his hands from his head. He looked down at them, watching as invisible knives sliced his palms open, the blood red and pumping over his hands and down his arms.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
There's no escape, Sam. You know it.
Sam did.
He forced his breathing to even, tried to fight. He willed himself to win, to out, to he didn't even know what because he couldn't even remember what he had done to force himself into control.
Even if you did win, for just a second, Sam, what are you going to do? The Horsemen's Rings are destroyed. You and Dean destroyed them, remember? So that nobody could even have a hope of releasing me.
Sam knew that. He'd known it from the first, but how could he just quit?
It'll be easier if you quit.
No. Sam wiped his arms, blocking the pain, not even caring that he wasn't real, that he was just a thought tucked into some dark corner of his own mind. He closed his eyes. I can beat you. I did it before. I can beat you. I did it before...
Okay, Sammy. If that's what makes you feel better.
With a wrench that felt like every bone in his body breaking simultaneously, Sam was torn from his corner and thrown into reality. He was standing, facing of a school- or, what had been a school. The building was on fire, hot enough that had Sam had control, he would have been sweating heavily from his proximity to the heat. Bodies were strewn on the ground.
No fire department. Isn't it funny, Sam, how easy the world burns?
Sam reeled. It was his fault, all of this. If he had just died like he should have, this wouldn't be happening. How many people were dead now because of him?
Overall? One billion, four million, nine thousand and seventy-two. Make that seventy-six, four more people just died in the space of time while I was saying that. See why it's just easier to give up now?
Sam didn't respond. He didn't have to, but it didn't help. Nothing ever helped. There was nothing he could do.
That's right, Sammy. Nothing you can do.
Sam didn't even bother to correct him. It wouldn't change anything, after all.
-:-
Risa and Anjalie stared at Kevin, who was concluding his speech on why demons were real.
"That...um, okay," Risa said, frowning. "I guess...that doesn't change anything. We still have to save as many people that we can. Is there anything that can stop demons?"
"Salt," Dean stated. "And there's sigils. Other than that, not a lot. We've got some weapons in the car, if you'd let us drive her into the property."
"Sure."
"I can show these people how to draw different sigils," Cas said, speaking for the first time.
"Yeah, that's good. Me and Kevin can get the stuff."
-:-
Sam screamed, his voice dying almost as soon as it left his lips. The room didn't end, now. And Sam was tied down, his bonds slick with blood. A stake was driven through his shoulder, pinning him down. Blood bubbled out of his lips every time he exhaled, and when he inhaled he choked. But he couldn't die. You can't die inside your own mind.
Sam didn't know how long it'd been, honestly. Time was pretty vague. There was (real) pain on his (fake) body. Sometimes he was forced into reality and he saw the desolation of the world, but mostly there was pain.
Lucifer loomed over him, never a drop of blood splashing on the pristine white suit. He smiled and twisted the stake.
Sam gasped, blood being sucked down into his throat. He tried to cough, but the motion wracked his body, causing more nerve damage.
How funny was it that he wasn't even real? All this pain, all inside his head.
Oh, you have a lot more stuck inside that noggin, Sammy. Remember?
Sam focused on the pain. This was bearable. He wouldn't remember. He wouldn't, because then he might lose the last bit of himself he had left.
-:-
Kevin walked along the path with Dean, their footsteps crunching in unison. At the gate, Amir smiled at them, waving them on. Dean smiled sadly at the car, opening the door and pulling himself into the driver's seat. Next to him, Kevin got into the passenger.
"Dean?" Kevin asked, frowning at the expression on the other man's face. "Are you..."
"I'm great, Kevin," Dean said, knowing that Kevin wouldn't press him.
-:-
Hours later, in the privacy of his room, Dean closed his eyes. He put his face in his hands, wanting it to be over. Wanting it all to be over. For him, for Sam, for the world. What did it even matter anymore? They had all trusted him, and what had happened? Sam was gone- worse than dead - and Dean was replaying events that he didn't know if he could stop.
A/N 2: Well, seeing as I am on break, the next chapter should be up in less than a week! Which is pretty awesome, right? A little note I think I forgot to mention last chapter: Risa and Amir actually appeared briefly in Batman, if you've read that. Of course, that story is in no way canon to this one...I just thought I'd mention it. Hopefully Last Year's Wishes will be up tomorrow, for those who care.
Please drop me a review! I love hearing from you all. Have a great break, and happy holidays!
-Jaq