As Joker pulls the Normandy into dock in London, I'm waiting near the airlock. Kaidan is standing with me. "Hackett was going to be here," he says.

"Was?"

"Yeah. He's pretty pissed at you." I laugh; Kaidan doesn't look amused. "It's not funny. If I were him, I'd have ordered me to arrest you, then discharged you when you got back."

"He discharges me, word will get around. And then, there goes his enlistment numbers." I smile. "Everyone wants to be the next Commander Shepard."

"Not even Commander Shepard should be able to get away with what you said."

"Come on, Kaidan, I don't want to fight…"

"No, seriously," he continues. "I know what you said to him. What did you want him to do, burst into tears or something?"

I sigh. "I'm not fighting with you. What's done is done, Kaidan. So is Hackett going to be there or not?" I can feel the Normandy grind to a halt.

"No. He's got more important things to do than dealing with a mouthy subordinate." He looks away from me, toward the bridge.

I feel like decking him. "Mouthy subordinate? After what I've been through, I'm not allowed one little screw-up? Seriously?"

His head whips around to me. "Are you pulling the Reaper card again? I was there at the beam, too, remember?"

"Yeah…till I had to call Joker to evac your sorry ass out of there!" I shake my head as he opens his mouth. "Kaidan, what are we doing? We're friends."

He looks angry, but after a moment, the expression drops with a sigh. "Yeah, we are." He rubs his neck. "Sorry if I got a little…bold earlier. When we were talking."

"It's fine, really. It was…it was nice." I hear the airlock hissing as the pressure equalizes. "Guess we have to go, huh?"

He nods, and looks behind me. I turn to see my squad lining up behind me. "We're right behind you, Shepard," Garrus says.

I stare at them all for a minute. Tali and Garrus are standing hand-in-hand. Vega's arms are crossed in front of his chest, but he's smiling. Liara and Kolyat are almost shoulder-to-shoulder, looking thick as thieves. Kaidan's just smiling. Joker's leaning on EDI. My squad. My friends. I go to turn away, but as I do, Garrus—of all people—snaps to a salute. The rest quickly follow suit—even Kolyat.

I feel a tear starting to slide down my cheek, but feel more pride than anything. I return the salute.

A beat passes. "I saw that tear, Shepard," Garrus says. He turns to Vega. "Told you. Pay up."

"Nuh-uh. You said 'ugly sobbing,' Vakarian. Doesn't count."

I shake my head. "You bet on whether or not I'd cry?" The two of them nod in tandem. I sigh, a smile tugging at my lips. I turn and start down the gangway; within a moment, the rest are following, with Kaidan on my right and Kolyat on my left, both a step behind.

At the end of the gangway, I'm greeted by a wall of Alliance blue. "Commander Josslyn J. Shepard?" one of the cheerless faces asks—a lieutenant. I nod. "Under orders of Admiral Hackett, I'm placing you…"

"Belay that!" a familiar voice rings out. I turn. My mother is striding across the floor, flanked by two bodyguards. She stops right in front of the lieutenant. "You're dismissed, Lieutenant." She turns to me.

He hesitates. "I-I have orders, ma'am."

She turns back and stares him down. "And I'm here on the authority of the Council, Lieutenant. You are dismissed." With a sidelong glance at me, the wall of Alliance blue leaves. My mother finally looks at me. "And Steven has a problem with your attitude?" she mutters.

"Mom, what are you doing here?"

"Saving your sorry ass, Josslyn." She pulls me to one side, just out of earshot of the others. "I got the notice an hour ago. Hackett wants you discharged. Dishonorably."

I stare at her, trying not to gape. "Seriously? I went a little crazy, all right, but it's not like it was a repeated thing. One-time screw-up. Court martial, maybe, I could see." Then her last word hits like a brick. "Dishonorable discharge? Dis…what the hell? The Reapers…the Collectors…Sovereign…hell, the Blitz. Not once during all my other shit did I ever give a CO lip, even when I thought their orders were complete bullshit. And now he wants…what, so just 'thanks for saving the galaxy and all, Shepard, but you're not allowed to have feelings'?" I'm almost crying. "I've earned better than that, damn it!"

"Easy, honey," she whispers, trying to soothe. "I rescinded the order on Council authority. No discharge."

I take a deep breath, staring at her. There's a look in her eyes I remember. "What's the catch?"

"Mandatory six-month medical leave."

I'm furious. "I'm not sick."

"Yes, you are." Before I can respond, she keeps talking. "Damn it, Josslyn, you pull a gun on a friend and give a CO attitude, and you don't think something's wrong with you?" She motions to someone behind me, and I turn to see the entire squad walking toward us. "I'm going to ask a question, and I need you all to speak your minds freely," she says to them. "And you're going to stay silent," she aims at me. "Is there something wrong with Commander Shepard?"

A few shift uncomfortably. Most aren't looking anywhere near me. "I didn't want to think so," Kaidan says after a moment, "but…" He nods. I glare at him, but he just glares back. "Come on, Shepard, you tore up your cabin." Everyone stares at him, then at me.

"You did what?" my mother says, fixing me with a Look.

"She got upset when we didn't find…" he trails off. He doesn't need to finish—everyone knows what he's talking about. "And to cap it off, she ripped his name off the wall."

"And tore it in half," Kolyat adds most unhelpfully.

I take a deep breath, trying to bite my tongue. But now everyone's trying to give their input all at once.

"I really thought you were going to shoot me, Shepard." Garrus. "Your hand was awfully steady."

"And you actually threw Kolyat into me." Kaidan. "Definitely not like you."

"You never even came down to Engineering, like usual." Tali. "Ken and Gabby wanted to say hello."

"Or down to the shuttle bay." Vega. "I'm startin' to think you don't like me, Lola."

"Shepard preferred to spend her time in her cabin, or down in the Life Support plant." EDI. "She only interacted with the crew when it appeared necessary."

There's a brief silence. None of them are looking at me. Then…

"You haven't been yourself, Shepard." Liara. "It seems like the Shepard who saved the galaxy isn't the same person who woke up eight months later." She looks around at the rest, then back to me. "We've all seen it. I don't think any of us wanted to say it because we knew you wouldn't accept it. But…you're not yourself."

"It's not exactly a mystery why, though," Kaidan mutters, half under his breath.

I shake my head, staring at the floor. I can't deny anything they've said. They're right. Normally I would have been talking to everyone, so lost in conversations that I'd forget to sleep. This time—almost all I did was sleep. I barely hear my mother thanking them and dismissing them, but when I look up again, they're headed off in all directions. Only Kolyat remains.

"You can go, Kolyat," my mother says softly. "She'll be all right."

"I have nowhere to go."

"I told him he could stay with me, Mom." My voice is wobbly.

She's silent. "All right, then." Without another word, she leads us out to a waiting skycar.

I'm expecting a quick ride to the new Alliance headquarters or something, but after a short ten-minute ride, we stop in front of an apartment building. "Where are we?"

She smiles at me as we climb out of the car. "I may have mentioned to the rest of the Council that you were going to need a place to live after you got out of the hospital. Since they couldn't do any of what you wanted, they want you to consider this part of your repayment."

I smile halfheartedly. "Thanks." Great. A giant, empty apartment.

"You won't be alone, siha. Kolyat will be there."

I wince as his voice echoes through my mind, causing an instant headache. "Joss?" Kolyat says, loosely grasping my arm. "Are you all right?"

I lean into him. I feel like throwing up. "I-I just need to lie down," I lie. I'm vaguely aware of riding an elevator up to one of the uppermost floors…a key going into a lock…then I'm sitting on a couch. The softness startles me enough to focus a bit. I'm staring at the floor; plush carpeting. A nice, neutral beige.

My mother sits down next to me on the couch. "Tell me what's wrong, sweetheart."

I can't look up at her. I don't want to see her look of pity—I can hear it in her voice. "Mom, I—" I glance at my hands. They're shaking. I feel a sob welling up inside me. "I…" I manage to choke back the sobs, but a tear still escapes. Then another. "They're right," I say, voice trembling. "They're all right. Something's…" I try to take a deep breath, but my chest is tight. "Something's wrong with me."

She takes one of my hands in hers. "I've made an appointment for you to talk to someone."

I nod. Still staring at the floor, I feel yet another tear cascade down my cheek. "So much for the great Commander Shepard, huh?"

She clicks her tongue. "You're still Commander Shepard, Josslyn."

"Will Hackett go for the medical leave thing?" I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand.

"He doesn't really have a choice. But I think he will, without any prejudice." I can hear her smile. "He knows he overreacted to your comments. He knows you're not feeling yourself lately. And if he gives you—or me—any trouble over it, I'll demote him so low even the ensigns on KP will outrank his ass."

I laugh, finally looking at her. "Can you do that?"

Her smile grows a bit wider. "No. But it was worth it to get you to laugh."