Posted 17 Aug 2012

Any more guest stars and someone will have to eliminate them. Any volunteers?

Mere seconds later

Anna locked the front of the shop, hoping she wouldn't get in trouble for this. They had no customers all morning, and the Buy More lot was empty. At least this excursion would get some money coming in for the day. The plaza had been dead as a doornail all morning. Maybe she would stop at Sbarro on the way back.

Anna had only worked for the store a couple of months, but the owner, Nate, seemed very receptive to her ideas. First was the inventory change, getting rid of the questionable equipment that stalkers like those in Jeff and Lester's network would use. Instead they focused more on high-end security systems for cars and homes. They still had the nanny cams and GPS trackers, but they were sold as part of more complete security packages. The new strategy meant fewer customers, but those customers were higher class and spending a lot more money. Anna hoped he'd go for her next suggestion in a few months—a new storefront in Orange County that she could manage. It'd get her out of Burbank. That plan was still down the road. For now, she had to show Nate how profitable she could make a store that had previously been sustained by the bottom feeders of Burbank.

She looked for Morgan and his new girlfriend and saw them running down the sidewalk, in the general direction of the Orange Orange. She wasn't dressed for running and was lugging the installation tools. She wasn't about to exert herself over some stupid game. While she was packing up, she gained some perspective and realized there was no way the guns were real. They were just really good replicas. Morgan liked all of that gaming/movie/comic book stuff. They were probably from some movie. And tranquilizer darts? Get real. This was all part of some over-the-top, live action role playing game. That's probably the real reason the Buy More was closed, too. As long as they paid, Anna didn't care. She could earn a few hundred bucks with less than an hour of work.

Anna figured she did need to hurry a little, because she was getting left pretty far behind. Suddenly, Morgan stopped, or rather, was stopped as he ran into a wall. The wall was in the form of Mighty Jock Mitt. Littered around them were the sandwich boxes Morgan had knocked loose. Part of her wanted to see Mitt punish Morgan, but deep down she didn't want to see him in the hospital. Anna resigned herself to the fact she was going to need to rescue Morgan, again.

When Anna finally reached the scene, Alex was helping a dazed Morgan to his feet. She snapped, "Watch it!"

"Who me? I'm not the one who is going to be cleaning up this mess and buying ten new sandwiches."

"Yeah right. Let's go, Morgan." Alex tugged on his arm.

"You're not going anywhere." Noticing Anna, "Oh, I see you havetwo little girls to protect you now. Well, neither of you have a weapon this time, and I no longer have anything against fighting girls."

Anna saw Alex slowly move to the fake gun at the back of her waist. She was really going to have to pull off a heck of a bluff to get Mitt to back down from this opportunity at payback. Before Alex could make her move, Anna heard another voice.

"He doesn't need a weapon when she has me. And I don't have a problem hitting boys."

Anna looked on the other side of Mitt and saw Sarah Walker, her old 'friend.' The woman who hadn't spoken to her in years. The woman who didn't even invite her to her wedding. Sarah could have at least put in a good word with Morgan when Anna returned a couple years ago. But not only did she side with Morgan in the break-up, Anna heard that Morgan started dating one of Sarah's 'real friends,' some supermodel type. So much for thinking of Morgan and me as the perfect couple. What's with the outfit, though? She thought it was black ninja chic without the hood and mask. Anna liked the almost four inch heels on her boots and would've asked her where she got them, if they were still on speaking terms.

"Uh oh, it's the double-O girl. Now I'm scared." Mitt smiled his menacing, gap-toothed grin.

Even with Sarah's high heals, he had at least four inches on her and was probably twice the weight. Anna didn't really want Sarah hurt either, despite their alienation. She better watch out.

"Morgan," Sarah asked, "is this guy a friend of Chuck's?"

"Nope. He's just the Buy More Plaza bully. Have at it." Morgan waved his hand towards Mitt as if he was presenting him to Sarah. Then Morgan and Alex took three steps backwards, in sync.

"Where do you think you are going? I said you are going to clean this up and buy new sandwiches, for the next week. Or do I have to smash in your bearded face?" Mitt threatened as he ground one fist into the open palm of his other hand.

Anna looked around for something she could use as a weapon. She really did need something hard and metal to help with someone the size of Mitt. Sarah suddenly moved.

Two quick jabs to the face dazed him. A kick to the side of the knee made him stubble sideways and start down. He was held up with a twist into a wrist lock that had him crying out in pain as he jerked forward. A knee up to the face had him staggering backwards. He was finished with high round house kick to the side of the head. He tipped and seemed to fall in slow motion. Morgan quickly stepped up and used one finger to direct him towards the sidewalk so he wouldn't fall through the glass of the shop's front door.

Anna gaped back at Sarah, who stood over her conquered foe with a look of slight disapproval, as if he wasn't enough of a challenge to waste her time. Anna remembered taking down Mitt quickly, but that was with a large metal tripod as weapon. It took some agile footwork to not get hurt. Sarah, on the other hand, wasn't even breathing hard. She didn't even need a weapon. She was the weapon.

Morgan reached over to Sarah with a fist, and she did the same did the same. Apparently, they had a private fist bump/hand shake/finger thing, although Sarah seemed a little confused at the result.

Looking at Mitt, Anna noticed something. "Your kick didn't cut his face," she murmured.

"Hard to run with a broken heel," Sarah explained. "Who is she?" Sarah asked Morgan, nodding her head to indicate Anna.

Before he could answer, the door to the shop opened, revealing the brown-haired proprietor. Morgan's eyes opened wide.

"What is going on here? Oh my God! I always thought you were crazy after you threatened me, Sarah. This only confirms it. I'm calling the cops."

Morgan immediately flapped his hands at the woman, trying to get at her phone. She pulled it back to her shoulder, only to have Alex step around and snatch it away. "Give it to Sarah," Morgan instructed.

"Why?" Alex asked as the handed the Blackberry to Sarah.

She didn't need an answer. Sarah dropped it to the ground, crouched to a knee, pulled a knife from her boot, spun it in her hand, smashed the butt end into the phone, replaced the knife, and stood—all in a seamless motion.

Morgan explained, "Chuck told me Sarah has a knack for destroying phones."

"I can see that." Alex smiled.

The woman was angry. "That's my phone! My whole life was on that phone!"

Morgan said matter-of-factly, "You really should make back-ups. If you let us go about our business, we'll rescue the Nerd Herd, and maybe they can retrieve some of your data. Though, that phone does really look like a mess."

"Tony!" She called back into her shop. "Call 9-1-1." It looked like the deli owner didn't buy the story. She must not be familiar with the LARP games that were apparently organized out of the Buy More. Or she was really upset about her phone.

"Morgan, who is she?"

"Sarah, this is Lou, owner of this shop," Morgan answered.

Tony stepped behind Lou in the doorway, fumbling to get out his phone. He was an older, bulky guy, but a lot smaller than Mitt. He wouldn't stand a chance against Sarah unless he went back inside and got a meat cleaver.

"So you're her landlord," Morgan added.

Lou started to argue, "No! I'm leasing from a Carmi—"

"Is she a friend of Chuck's?"

Anna realized who else Lou was and remembered that's what Sarah asked about Mitt. This woman is so dead. They're going to need a bag to collect the parts.

"Well, no, not really, um."

"Morgan?" Sarah impatiently prompted.

"She'sChuck'sExGirlfriend."

"Alex, give me your gun." Tony stopped dialing, in shock from what Sarah just said.

"No, Sarah. She's not the traitor one. This one only went out with Chuck twice, and one of the times was an undercover mission to get intel on the guy smuggling the Bryce Larkin bomb into the country. She also used to smuggle meat." Morgan rushed his explanation. None it made sense to Anna.

"Alex, give me your gun."

Morgan's girlfriend hesitated. "Sarah. I'm not so sure."

"Alex, give me your gun because at this range, my gun will blow a large exit wound out the back of her head." Sarah brandished her gun.

Alex quickly traded weapons with Sarah. Anna wondered why it mattered which fake gun Sarah used. Cool imagery though.

Lou did not know when to keep her mouth shut. "What are you, some crazy FDA agent like that other guy?"

That confused Sarah for a second, but Alex just laughed. "He told you he was an FDA agent, and you believed him? He's not that good of liar."

"No need." Sarah put one in Lou's neck, and she went straight down. Tony dropped, and probably broke, his phone. Sarah was good at breaking phones. She didn't even need to touch them. Before Tony's shock could wear off, Sarah put two in his chest. For good measure, she put two more in Mitt to ensure he wouldn't be getting up for a while.

"Quick, grab the bodies," Sarah said. "We need to pull them inside." Sarah and Morgan pulled in Tony first. Alex dragged in Lou. Anna just stood there trying to figure out if she should call the police. She didn't want to get herself shot.

The three returned each taking one of Mitt's limbs. "Hey, you. Grab an arm," Sarah ordered. Anna chose to play along for now. She really needed to find a way out of this mess.

Morgan and Alex proceded to kick in the sandwich boxes and Alex flipped the deli's sign over to Closed. Once everyone was inside, Sarah asked Morgan, "Who is this and is she a friend of Chuck's?"

Not waiting for Morgan, Anna protested, "Yes, I'm a friend of Chuck's! I used to be your friend too, Sarah. Don't you remember?"

Sarah had her gun down at her side, waiting for confirmation from Morgan. "Sarah, this is Anna Wu, my ex-girlfriend. Anna, Sarah had her memory erased about three weeks ago, and she still has some gaps."

"Do you want me to shoot her too?"

"Yes, but you really shouldn't," Morgan said.

"Maybe later," Alex added.

Morgan circled his head in a complicated, almost figure eight pattern that was somewhere between a nod of agreement and a shake to disagree. "We need her to get past Orange Orange security. Chuck's not here, Jeff and Lester are in Germany, and the rest of the Nerd Herd is being held captive. Anna used to be in the Herd."

Sarah's brow furrowed. "I thought you helped with tech ops."

"I can run cameras or do a database search, but I stay away from wiring. My beard collects a lot of static, and it can go bad... very bad."

"Whatever, let's go."

"Wait just one second!" Anna said. Everyone stopped and looked at her. Morgan looked frustrated, Sarah impatient, and Alex was glaring. "I want to know what is going on!"

"She didn't know?" Alex asked Morgan.

"She ran off with the sous chef before I was recruited. When she came back, I was too busy with the CIA to waste my time with her two-timing drama."

"Did you say CIA?"

Sarah took over the explanation. "Anna, we don't have time for this. Morgan and I are ex-CIA and a bunch of dangerous people are holding everyone at the Buy More captive while trying to break into our base, that contains a lot of weapons. We have to get there first so we can rescue everyone. Now let's go."

"You're CIA? Everyone said you were a high-priced call girl who fell for Chuck. Not that there's anything wrong with that profession. A girl has to make a living. You were like a real life Pretty Woman, except Chuck's not rich." Sarah ignored the comment and ran out of the deli shop. Alex followed her. Anna turned to Morgan, "I thought she was my friend."

Morgan shrugged, "I think she was protecting Chuck from your loser boyfriend who was involved in a plot to kill the Taiwanese Ambassador." He took off out the door of the sandwich shop.

Did Morgan mean Jason? Anna looked down at the three bodies on the floor. This wasn't a game. Something real was happening over at the Buy More. No, it couldn't be. Memory loss, dart guns, and rich character back stories? No, this is just really detailed, very intense, but still lame, LARP. It had to be. Anna figured either these people on the floor were in on it, or this role playing game was bordering on the illegal. If she wanted to get paid, she was going to have to go with them. And they said they wouldn't shoot her. Her decision made, she hurried as fast as she could to the Orange Orange.

Song: "You Don't Mess around with Jim" by Jim Croce – there needs to be a version of this with Sarah Walker instead of Big Jim Walker.

A/N: Let's all savor the fact that being one of Chuck's ex-girlfriends is not one of the safest thing to have on a résumé right now. Sarah doesn't have the context, so in her mind, there is no excuse.

Chuck is coming back soon.