"There you are, Sunset!" Ms Cheerliee's voice said perkily. Sunset jumped; it was Monday lunchtime and she'd been hiding out in the library. Ms Cheerilee was hosting some kind of rap-session in the cafeteria, and she'd wanted to avoid it at all costs. "The assembly is about to start! We need you in the cafeteria ASAP! Where's your song book?"
"Right, this thing," Sunset said as cheerily as she could. It was even worse than just an assembly; Ms Cheerilee had prepared a special song for them to sing. "Sorry, I, uh, forgot. And I don't have my songbook."
"Not a problem, sweetie!" Ms Cheerilee dragged her back in the direction of the cafeteria. "I have plenty more!" Sunset had thought it couldn't get any worse, but it could; the cafeteria was full of TV crews and camera equipment. She suppressed a groan. Ms Cheerilee didn't notice.
"Come on, kids!" she was saying. "Show a little hustle!" Sunset felt like throwing up. Flash appeared out of nowhere and wrapped his arms around her waist.
"Is this as good for you as it is for me?" he laughed. He pressed a kiss to her hair and vanished into the crowd, probably hopeful of turning it into a riot.
Ms Cheerilee, meanwhile, was standing atop a table, wielding a microphone. "Hello, Canterlot!" she said. Sunset couldn't deny it, people that perky freaked her out a bit. "Now, whether to kill yourself or not is one of the most important decisions a teenager can make." The entire room made a sound Sunset took to mean Dafuq? Ms Cheerilee nodded importantly. "I know, I know. But I am taking a stand against it! Do you know what I'm gonna do right now?"
"Kill yourself on stage?" Flash interrupted delightedly. He really was enjoying this far too much.
Ms Cheerilee glared. "That's not productive, Mr Sentry. No, I am going to show you all a new coping method! My study at Berkneigh was in Paediatric Psychoanalytical Musicology, and it was very well-regarded. Because the way to eliminate suicide is to first eliminate fear. By creating a safe environment we have nothing to fear, and we have no reason to commit suicide! None of you deserve suicide, because you're all beautiful!"
Sunset cringed when the teacher began to sing into her microphone.
"Deep inside of everyone,
There's a hot ball of shame:
Guilt; regret; anxiety;
Fears we dare not name!
But if we show the ugly parts
That we hide away,
They turn out to be beautiful
By the light of day!"
Sunset realised she was supposed to be singing the chorus, and hurried to open her songbook.
"Why not shine, shine, shine a light?
(On your deepest fear!)
Let in sunlight now!
(And your pain will disappear!)
Shine, shine, shine,
And your scars and your flaws
Will look lovely because you shine!"
Ms Cheerilee struck a pose that was about 20 years too late. "Shine a light!"
She'd thought it couldn't get any more cringe-worthy than this, but apparently Ms Cheerilee had recruited students to solo for her. Rainbow Dash and Bulk Biceps were currently singing the second verse with Pinkie Pie and Microchips:
Rainbow Dash: Every day's a battlefield when pride's on the line!
Bulk Biceps: I attack your weaknesses…
Both: And pray you don't see mine!
Micro Chips: But if I share my ugly parts…
Pinkie Pie: And you show me yours…
Micro Chips and Pinkie Pie: Our love can knock all walls down…
All four: And unlock all our doors!
Once again Sunset grudgingly joined in with the chorus, but Ms Cheerilee wasn't done. There was a middle eight (that was more like a middle 16) and she talked all the way through it.
"Who wants to share what's in their heart? No volunteers?" Ms Cheerilee ignored the several hands that had shot into the air. "Fine, I'll start. My name is Ms Cheerilee and I live alone; my husband and kids have left. In the 60s, love was free - that hasn't really worked out all that well for me. The revolution came and went, and I tried to change the world but made no impact. I've struggled with despair - I joined a cult, shaved my head, I chant and pray but no one's there to hear me - so, Whooves?" She turned to glare directly into the camera. "I'm ending our affair. And I faked it. Every single time." Ms Cheerilee giggled and whooped, ignoring the shocked faces of her students. Talk about oversharing. "Wow, kids, we're really letting each other go, huh? That feels fan-freakin'-tastic! Get ready for a big finish! One, two, take me home, kids!"
"Why not shine, shine, shine a light?
(On your deepest fear!)
Let in Sunlight now!
(And your pain will disappear!)
Shine, shine, shine,
And your scars and your flaws
Will look lovely because you shine!
You shine a light!
Shine, shine, shine a light!
Shine, shine, shine a light!
Shine, shine, shine a light!
Shine, shine, shine a light!
Shine, shine, shine a light!
Shine, shine, shine a light!
Shine, shine, shine a light!
Shine a light! Yeah!
Ms Cheerilee ended the song, and everyone began shouting at once about their fears, hoping to be picked out by a TV crew, but the voice that stood out the most was Sonata Dusk, and that's because no one was expecting her to say what she said right then:
"I've thought about killing myself!"
The entire crowd turned to stare at the Head Cheerleader, who was playing nervously with her ponytail. She looked shocked at herself that she'd said it.
Most shocked of all was Aria Blaze. Her jaw had practically hit the floor, and she was glaring at Sonata. "What the hell, Sonata?"
"No, no, Sonata…" Ms Cheerilee said excitedly. "Keep going!" She pushed Sonata towards the largest TV camera of all. The blue-haired girl tripped towards it and stared into it like a deer caught in headlights.
"Sonata, get back in line!" Aria snapped, but Ms Cheerilee glared at her.
"Zip it!" the teacher said fiercely. She turned back to Sonata. "Go on, Sonata. There's nothing to be afraid of. It's just you, me, and your classmates who love you!"
Sonata took a deep breath. "My sort-of-boyfriend killed himself because he was gay for his linebacker," she began, "and my best friend seemed to have it all together, but she's gone too. And now my stomach is hurting worse and worse, and every morning I'm on the bus to school and my heart is pounding and it's like, 'Jesus, I'm on the frickin' bus again because all of my rides to school are dead!" She began to play nervously with her collar.
"It's like we're all floating in this tiny lifeboat on this enormous black ocean, and the boat is getting lower and lower in the water. It's cold and clammy and crowded, and everyone smells desperate, because we're going to sink any minute, and we all know that someone has to go. And everyone's pushing and fighting, and there's this huge storm approaching with nowhere to hide!" She gulped. "And I know that if I say the wrong thing or I wear the wrong outfit, I'll be the one the captain chooses to throw overboard! Well, who made her captain, anyway?" Sonata shook angrily, but her anger was gone as quickly as it had come. "The weakest person has to go. And every day I'm feeling more and more like I'm the weakest. I'm going to be the next one overboard."
All Sunset wanted to do was run over and comfort Sonata, but Aria's furious voice stopped her. "What's your damage, Sonata?" she snarled. "Are you saying that Canterlot High isn't a nice place?"
"Aria!" Ms Cheerilee interrupted, but Aria barrelled on regardless.
"Where's your school spirit?" She shook her head disapprovingly. "You don't deserve to wear Canterlot colours."
"Don't be mean-spirited!" Ms Cheerilee tried.
Once again, Aria ignored her. "Why don't you hop in your little lifeboat, and catch a gnarly wave over to Townsville?" Sonata hurriedly turned away from the camera and from Aria. She was visibly shaking.
"Aria, that's enough!" Ms Cheerilee snapped, but it wasn't Aria who delivered the final blow; Rainbow Dash had seen the unshed tears that were glistening in Sonata's eyes.
"Aww, look, Sonata's gonna cry!" she laughed.
Sonata's eyes widened, and she gave a little sob before fleeing from the cafeteria. Ms Cheerilee looked furious.
"Young lady, you are going to be in detention for the rest of your high school career!" she snapped at Aria, before turning to the TV crews. "Turn off the cameras. Turn them off, Goddammit!"
Sunset had just about had enough. "Is that all you care about?" she snapped at the astounded teacher. "TV cameras?"
Ms Cheerilee gasped. "I care about saving lives!" she insisted. Her 'I'm the adult here so listen to me' tone said it all, though. She continued "Aria Blaze ruined a valuable -"
"'Valuable'?" Sunset shook her head in disbelief. "None of us want this - this spectacle! To be experimented on like guinea-pigs? Patronized like bunny rabbits?"
Ms Cheerilee's mouth opened and shut several times in silent outrage. "I don't patronise bunny rabbits!" she said eventually, but she knew as well as Sunset did that her response had been a weak one.
"Sonata Dusk trusted you," Sunset said coldly. "You promised you'd protect her." She didn't even look behind her when she heard Adagio's voice from over her shoulder. She already knew that the ginger, pyjama-clad ghost would be there, delighting in her misery and misfortune.
"This is their big secret," Adagio informed her. "The adults are powerless. Sonata's right. We're alone in the ocean. It's up to us. No one can help us." Sunset nodded imperceptibly, and stared down her shocked teacher.
"You're pathetic," she said quietly.
Ms Cheerilee opened her mouth to respond, but she couldn't think of what to say. She turned and shot out of the room like a cork out of a wine bottle. Sunset herself turned to face her astonished classmates. "You're all idiots!" she informed them.
Flash had actually stopped messing around, but now he stood up and placed a hand on Sunset's shoulder. "Sunset, you should sit," he said sharply.
"No!" Sunset shook him off and tossed her hair back. "Adagio Dazzle was a monster, just like Timber and Tornado!" She took a deep breath before confessing. "They didn't kill themselves. I killed them!"
Her classmates stared back at her in shock. "Sooooo…" Sunset awkwardly tapped her shoe on the lino. "What do you all think about that?"
Silence.
Suddenly, Aria burst out laughing. "God," she chuckled, wiping tears from her eyes, "some people will say anything if they think it will make them popular!" The rest of the students joined in with her laughter, but Sunset had had enough.
"Why do you have to be such a megabitch, Aria?" she snapped. "Why can't you just be a friend?" With that, she stormed out of the cafeteria and down the hall to the girls' bathroom.
At the door, she heard a familiar voice sobbing unhappily. "Stupid child-proof caps!" it whimpered, and Sunset froze outside the door for a second before a click followed by a gulp sent her barrelling through the door.
A horrible sight met her eyes. Sonata was bawling, mascara dripping down her face, her mouth was bulging, and she was gagging. An empty pill bottle dropped to the floor, and Sunset realised what was in Sonata's mouth. The girl had always had trouble sleeping, so she definitely knew that this wasn't how sleeping pills worked.
Sonata was trying to overdose.
Sunset leapt into action, and slapped Sonata's cheeks so that the pills fell out of her mouth. Sonata was still gagging, and Sunset thanked God that at least one good thing had come of Aria's bulimia; she knew how to make someone throw up.
She took a deep breath, and stuck her fingers down Sonata's throat.
Sonata's body shook, and she threw up into the sink. When she'd finished, Sunset put an arm around her, but Sonata threw her off.
"What are you trying to do?" Sonata snapped. "Kill me?"
"What are you trying to do?" Sunset shot back at her. "Sleep?"
Sonata leaned against the wall and slid down until she was sitting. "Suicide is a private thing," she sniffled quietly.
Sunset snorted and sat next to her. "What, throwing your life away to become a statistic in US-fucking-A Today? That's, like, the least private thing I can think of."
"What about Adagio?" Sonata asked softly. "And Timber and Tornado?"
Sunset looked deep into Sonata's wide magenta eyes. "If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?"
"Probably."
"Oh." Sunset had not been expecting that answer. She put an arm around her friend again, and this time Sonata didn't throw her off. "If you were happy all the time, you wouldn't be human," Sunset assured her. "You'd be a game show host."
Sonata wiped her face. "It's just… difficult, I guess," she said hollowly. "I was probably the last person to speak to Adagio before she killed herself, when she gave me a ride home." Sunset had to remind herself that Sonata didn't know anything about the true nature of Adagio's death as the cheerleader kept talking. "And I was the last girl Tornado had sex with, and he killed himself, like, two days later. I can't help but feel it's my fault."
All Sunset could do was stroke Sonata's hair and allow her to cry on her shoulder. She had no idea what to say. 'I'm sorry' didn't really seem to cover it. 'I'm sorry you feel it's your fault that your friends committed suicide when it's actually my fault because I killed them'?
The blue-haired girl hiccupped. "I could hear her, you know," she whispered. "Aria. When I was looking for the bottle. She said 'Aw, look, Sonata's going to whine all night, like there's no Santa Clause.' She was telling me that I was off the team, that I was worthless, and I was going to die alone. I know it was in my head, but it just felt so real."
"She's wrong," Sunset said fiercely. "You matter, Sonata. You're important. You're definitely not worthless. And hey, for what it's worth, you may be off Aria's team, but you can always be on mine." She wasn't sure exactly what she meant by her 'team' but it made Sonata give a watery giggle.
They sat there in the bathroom for what seemed like an eternity, before Sonata wiped her face and got to her feet. She helped Sunset up, and then pulled her into a fierce hug. "Thanks for coming after me," she whispered, and Sunset knew her own cheeks were damp when she whispered back.
"You're welcome."