I'm sorry this chapter is so short. The next will be much longer
Justin sat in the middle of his bed, his arms wrapped around himself. He wasn't wearing the sling, able to move his shoulder now, though it did still hurt a little.
It wasn't his shoulder that had silent tears on his cheek.
He'd just gotten home from his early morning appointment at the clinic. The results from his latest blood work came back. They weren't good results.
He sniffled and wiped the tears away in anger. He hated being weak, hated all the tears he'd cried since becoming positive.
He stood up and started to pace around his tiny apartment. After fifteen minutes he scooped his pills into his old messenger bag, in case he ended up out late (he'd done that before). He couldn't stay in this small space. He needed air, to move.
He left the apartment and started walking down the street.
He hated this, this life he had now. There was nothing good anymore. He woke up every morning and was reminded that he was infected. Some mornings he had a few minutes where he thought he was back in his old life. Then reality would crash around him.
He held his right hand around his ribs as he walked. He didn't pay attention to where he was going other than to look up as he crossed streets. Lesson learned there.
He carefully shifted the bag on his shoulder. He wished the hospital hadn't called Brian. He wish Brian hadn't taken him back to the loft, hadn't taken him around the others. It was going to be so hard to be alone again.
Justin had always been a social person, a happy person. He hadn't been that person since that day in the clinic.
He looked at his shoes as he kicked an empty soda can.
Now he was alone, because he was scared. He was scared of so much anymore.
He knew he'd been walking a long time before took any notice of where he was and what time it was. It was early evening and he wasn't far from PIFA.
He looked around with a frown, curious why this was where his feet had led him.
He leaned against the side of a building, not sure what to do. He didn't want to go back to the apartment. In all honestly, he didn't want to be alone, especially right now. He hated being alone, had hated every minute of it.
He didn't want to go back to Brian's. He certainly didn't want to go to his mom's or Deb's.
He sighed. He was alone because he couldn't face his family. They would just pity him, wouldn't understand who he was now, what he was now.
He paused at that thought. The family wouldn't understand what he was going through, except for one person.
He dug into his pocket and found the paper Ben had written his address and phone number on. He couldn't call the man, didn't have any change, so he started walking.
He could talk to Ben. Ben would understand. Then Justin could return to his apartment and his lonely life.
He started down the street again, just hoping Michael wouldn't be home.