Disclaimer: We do not own Code Geass… or Hanabusa Aidou… or Pringles… or the Stairmaster… or Tylenol… or the Waffle House…
Author's Notes- Please bear with us… In a fit of rage, Suzaku and Lelouch hopped into a tractor trailer, ran us into a ditch, and drove off… Long story short: we were in a car accident. Don't worry, though. Jordan's magical powers kept us safe.
Author's Notes- True story!!
xXx
(Clubhouse!)
(Ashleigh is snooping through Lelouch's drawers.)
Ashleigh: Darn it, where did he hide that stupid yet magnificent thing!
(She burst open the last drawer on the left.)
Ashleigh: Finally! But why the hell is it in here??
(She throws the cape over her shoulders and buttons it and goes running down stairs.)
(Downstairs…)
(Lelouch and Suzaku are sitting on the couch; Jordan, C.C., and Kallen are all in the dinning room playing cards. He sees Ashleigh run by in his cape.)
Lelouch: (Stands up fast) How did you find it this time!?
Ashleigh: I know where you hide everything, Lulu.
Lelouch: (Looks confused)
Ashleigh: In your underwear drawer! (Hopes up on the dinning room table.) Look what I have! (Holds up a pair of his boxers.)
Lelouch: Give me those! (Snatches them away from her)
C.C: So, what's our adventure for today?
Jordan: How about we go bowling?
Kallen: Yeah, I haven't done that in a while…
Suzaku: Sounds fun.
Jordan: Everyone go get your bowling balls! (Stands up on a chair)
Lelouch: Will you two get off the furniture!!
(At The Bowling Alley…)
C.C: Hey Ash, how come your bowling-ball bag is so…?
Kallen: Misshaped?
Jordan: Exactly.
Ashleigh: (Pets the bag) All in time… All in time…
Suzaku: (Leans over toward Lelouch) She's up to something.
Lelouch: You think!? (Hand up in air, ready to slap him.)
Suzaku: Hey look, a lanes open! (Runs away)
Lelouch: (Swings his hand but misses and goes falling face forward in to a guy carrying nachos and cheese.)
Guy w/ Nachos: Dude, my nachos!
Lelouch: Here. (Hands him a five-dollar bill.)
Guy w/ Nachos: (Walks off)
Lelouch: (Walks over to the others)
Kallen: How did you get cheese all over you?
Lelouch: With a stupid move.
Jordan: (Pats him on the back) As usual. I call purple ball!
C.C: Ashleigh, it's your turn.
Ashleigh: (At this time, pulls out what's in her bag.)
Lelouch: What the hell do you think your doing with that!? (Points at Zero's helmet.)
Ashleigh: Bowling.
Suzaku: What is that?
Jordan: (Stands in front of Suzaku so he can't see. She shoves a pitcher in his face.) Here, Pretty Green Eyes! Have some punch!
Suzaku: (Distracted) Uh, sure… Why not? (Takes some and tastes it.) It tastes kind of funny… what's in it?
Jordan: (Acting innocent) Oh, sorry, I ran out of sugar so it's not that sweet. That must be it, huh?
Suzaku: I guess…
(He takes another sip and fails to notice Ashleigh and Lelouch halfway brawling over the helmet, her bashing him in the face with the bag and tossing the helmet down the bowling lane.)
Ashleigh: (Bounces) Strike!
Lelouch: (Pulls the bag out of his face and stalks off to retrieve the discarded mask.) It should be legal to kill people like you…
(A little while later…)
Suzaku: (Holds his cup out to Jordan) Punch pweash!
Jordan: Pweash? Uh… (Shakes the container upside down over the cup.) It's all gone! Suzaku, Suzaku! You drank it all!
Suzaku: (Laughs obnoxiously loud)
Kallen: (Stares at him wide-eyed) What was in that punch?
Ashleigh: (With a normal bowling ball in hand) Vodka.
Kallen: Are you serious!?
Jordan: I didn't think I'd given him that much… But before I knew it, he had drank my entire pitcher…
C.C.: It's ALL gone??
Ashleigh: (Suddenly whips out another pitcher) Don't worry, C.C., my batch remains untouched!
C.C.: (Makes a glass) Sweet nectar. (Sips it)
Ashleigh: Want some, Kallen?
Kallen: (Watches Suzaku throw a strike… in the wrong lane.) Just a little. I have a feeling I'm going to want to remember this night.
Lelouch: (Walks up to Suzaku- having missed the entire conversation the other four just had.) What's up with you? You know this is the wrong lane, right?
Suzaku: (Stares blankly at him)
Lelouch: (Starts to feel uncomfortable) What? What is it?
Suzaku: (Crashes back to Earth with a look of realization on his face.) Lelouch?
Lelouch: Suzaku?
Suzaku: (Suddenly pulls him into a giant hug. His voice slurs just a teeny bit, but he's very loud.) Do you know that you're my best friend!?
Lelouch: (Shocked) I'm fearing for my sense of hearing here, alright? What's going on with you? Are you sick or something? (No response) Suzaku?
Suzaku: (Being a space cadet… Suddenly realizes that he's on Earth, and for some unknown reason reaches to grab…)
Lelouch: (Trying to stay calm) Are you listening to me? Common, I need an answer here. You- (Suddenly cut off from Suzaku's hand making contact and squeezing his ass.)
Suzaku: Suzaku… GRAB!
Lelouch: GAH!! (Shoves Suzaku back into the bowling lane and covers himself as an instinctive defense.) Pervert!!
Suzaku: (Doesn't know what's going on) Suzaku dizzy…
Kallen: Yeah, I'm definitely going to want to remember this.
C.C.: (Pumps her drink in the air.) Rip his top off!
Ashleigh: Here Lulu, calm your self with this. (Hands him some punch)
Lelouch: Thanks… (Sips)(Cough) What is this!?
Kallen: It'll help you loosen up.
Suzaku: (Off in a corner clapping his hands) YAY!
Jordan: Ok, if we're going to do this let's at least do it in the correct place.
C.C: Great, I know the perfect place. (Grabs everyone and leads them out to the car)
(They pull up to a lit up bar with neon lights and everything.)
Lelouch: C.C., do I want to know how you know this place is here?
C.C: Nope. (Holds open the door for everyone)
(Lelouch, Kallen and C.C sit down at the bar)
(A flock of girls surround Suzaku)
(Jordan and Ash spot two familiar friends.)
Jordan: CANDICE! KAREN!
Karen: Hey, what are you guys doing here?
Jordan: With some friends!
Ashleigh: We could ask you the same thing.
Karen: Candice wanted a drink so I brought her here. (Points at a sloshed Candice thrown over a table.)
Ashleigh: Looks like she had more than just a drink... (Pokes Candice)
Candice: (Rolls over) Fingernails… Unh…
Ashleigh: What did she just say?
Karen: Who knows... What friends are you here with?
Jordan: Well that's Suzaku in the crowd of girls. And that's Lelouch, C.C, and Kallen.(Points at bar)
Lelouch: (Dramatic gasp) (Whiney voice) Oh God…
Suzaku: Yes?
Lelouch: (On the verge of crying) No, not you... I just realized that… the whole… damn country is after me! (Slams his head on the bar next to his five empty cups) I mean why wouldn't they!? I AM...
Kallen: (Pours her drink on his head) (Whispers) Stupid! Don't go announcing it to the whole world!
Suzaku: Suzaku confused?? It's ok! SUZKAU CONSOLE!
(Suzaku gets right in Lelouch's face with a gigantic smile.)
(Jordan, Ashleigh, and Karen- with Candice holding on to her- walk over to see what's going on.)
Jordan: Suzaku, I don't think that's gonna work…
Random Girl: Suzaku! Come back to us!
Lelouch: (Brings both hands to his face) How come he gets all the girls?! What does he have that I don't?! Besides the athletic ability… and the military status… and those gorgeous green eyes…
Suzaku: Don't forget my sweet ass!
(Everyone stares at him)
Jordan: (Puts her hands on his shoulders) Suzaku… just turn around for me for a minute, ok?
Suzaku: SUZAKU TURN! (He turns around)
(Ashleigh, Jordan, Kallen, C.C, Karen, and Candice all stare at his ass for a minute.)
C.C: (Sips her martini.) It's like someone sculpted it.
Karen: It's like a Stairmaster…
Candice: (Slurred) It looks like two Pringles kissing.
(Jordan and Ashleigh fall over laughing.)
Bartender: Hey Mister. (Talking to Suzaku) Are gonna steal all my lady customers or actually have a drink?
Kallen: Give him a daiquiri.
(Bartender slams the drink on the bar)
Kallen: Here Suzaku, drink this.
Suzaku: SUZAKU DRINK! (Gulps it down)
Ashleigh: If he keeps this up, he'll never be sober…
Lelouch: (Banging his fist on the bar, wailing) What have I done?! So many people!!
Suzaku: Suzaku wonder…
Ashleigh: (Gives him a flat look) Astounding…
Mob of Girls: (With a yoo-hoo ring to it) Suzaku!
Suzaku: Suzaku… popular!
Karen: Damn, I wish he'd stop announcing everything he's freaking doing!
Candice: You and me both… unless it's 'Suzaku see Aidou!' I don't give a damn!
Lelouch: (Clutching a glass) No one even acknowledges me anymore!!
Suzaku: (Somehow got his hands on another drink) Suzaku DRINK!! (-Do I really have to put that he drank it? It's kind of obvious…-)
Karen: (Her eye twitches) Suzaku's gonna have my foot stuck up his ass in a minute!!
Suzaku: Suzaku scared…
Karen: (Holds up a fist) Suzaku better run!!
Suzaku: Suzaku… FLEE!
(Karen chases Suzaku in a circle around the bar)
C.C.: Well this is entertaining… (Still sipping a martini- different one.)
Jordan: Hey, C.C. how many of those have you had?
C.C.: About a dozen, why?
Ashleigh: Sheesh, you hold your liquor pretty well! You act exactly the same as when you're-
C.C.: (Suddenly collapses)
Ashleigh: … Sober… Well, I guess that's enough proof that she's gone.
Jordan: (Nods) Uh-huh…
Karen: (Still chasing Suzaku) Get back here you little bastard!!
Suzaku: Suzaku need help!!
Kallen: Okay, okay… you don't need to chase him around…
Suzaku: Suzaku… FWOMP! (Tackles Kallen)
Kallen: (Pushes him away) Alright, go ahead.
Karen: (Bashes Suzaku in the head with a tray) Guh!!
Suzaku: Suzaku… hurt… (He falls in the floor)
Karen: (Sits by the bar, tired) Finally, he shut up!
Jordan: (Pokes Suzaku with her foot) Did you have to hit him that hard?
Ashleigh: (Sitting beside Karen with a glass of Sangria) Probably.
Suzaku: (Still unconscious) (Mumbles) Suzaku sleep…
Jordan: Ooookaaayyy…
Suzaku: (Out of nowhere…) SUZAKU- snooore…. SUZAKU- snooore…
Karen: (Slams her fist on the bar) Give me a drink!
Lelouch: (Suddenly) What's the point!?
Ashleigh: (Jumps, spilling her Sangria) HOLY!
Lelouch: We're all going to die in the end anyway! So why even try to accomplish anything!!
Jordan: Great… he's gone emo on us… (Walks to where Kallen and Candice are chatting) I'll be over here…
Ashleigh: (Hits him) You made me spill my Sangria, you bitch!
Lelouch: (Looks up with a helpless look)
Ashleigh: Oh cra-
Lelouch: (Buries his face in the bar with his hands covering his head) Another mistake! I can't do it! The entire military's after my head in a silver dish and I can't… not spill a drink!!
Karen: (Downs another shot) I'm going to kill those two before the night's over.
Ashleigh: (Watches Lelouch's shoulders heave- wondering if he's actually crying- with a sick and unbelieving look.) If he doesn't do it himself first…
Suzaku: SUZAKU- snooore… (Keeps going)
Karen: He's about to piss me off!!
Ashleigh: I figured he's already accomplished that…
Lelouch: (Muffled by the bar and his own arms) I think I need a hug…
Ashleigh: Ugh… Can I have a stronger drink, please?
Suzaku: (suddenly awake and bouncy as ever) Suzaku HUG! (Hugs Lelouch)
Karen: HOW THE HELL!?
Ashleigh: Guess you didn't knock him out hard enough.
Kallen: Or he's just that obsessed with Lelouch.
Jordan: (Nodding) I'd go with that one.
Candice: Hey guys look what I can do! (She jumps up on a table and starts to do the chicken dance)
Suzaku: (Points to Candice screaming) Burn the witch!
C.C: (Pops out between two guys, martini in hand) You summoned?
Ashleigh: Whoah, when did she wake up?
Jordan: (Looking back and fourth at the spot where C.C was passed out and where she stands now.)
Kallen: (Shaking her head)
Karen: (Holding the tray again above Suzaku's head. Swings at him)
Suzaku: (Leans over to get a penny on the ground.)
Karen: (Obviously misses and smashes all the glass cups onto the ground)
Bar tender: WHY YOU...!
Random Guys: Hey your green haired friend over here passed out again!
Jordan: Come on you guys lets get out of here before we cause anymore damage…
Ashleigh: What do we do with C.C.?
Kallen: Lay her on the couch.
Karen: Hey! Lelouch and Suzaku help her.
(Suzaku and Lelouch walk over to C.C)
Suzaku: Suzaku LIFT!
(Back at the Clubhouse…)
Suzaku: Suzaku… TOSS!
(They throw C.C. on the nearest couch.)
(Outside)
Karen: Hey, we'll meet up with you guys later. I have to get Candice home and I don't know how much more I can take of Suzaku…
Jordan and Ashleigh: BYE!
(Karen and Candice leave)
Kallen: I'm hungry…
Jordan: Lets go get waffles!
Ashleigh: (Dramatic point) To the Waffle House!
(Halfway to the Waffle House)
Suzaku: Suzaku PEE!
Ashleigh: No Suzaku, not there!
(At the Asplund household…)
(Phone ringing)
Lloyd: (Sigh) Yes what is it?
Suzaku: Lloyd!
Lloyd: Yes, Kururugi, what is it? Why are you calling me this late?
Suzaku: Ummm… Suzaku forget.
Lloyd: Well, please try to remember
Suzaku: Suzaku think!
Lloyd: Yes, yes…
Suzaku: SUZAKU REMEMBER!
Lloyd: And what is it Suzaku?
Suzaku: Suzaku… break law!
Lloyd: Yes, and what law did you break?
Suzaku: Umm...
Jordan: (Took phone from Suzaku) Listen Lloyd, we had a little accident out here… Well, a ticket.
Lloyd: Well what's this ticket for?
Jordan: Well Suzaku is a little... out of it right now and we have a ticket for… public urination and well since your his guardian we need you to pay the ticket.
Lloyd: I don't remember becoming his "guardian".
Jordan: Well we just need you to pay the ticket and we'll talk to you later so bye!
(Hands phone back to police officer)
Lloyd: Wait! Hold on a second! (Hangs up the phone) I swear… I'm going to have to buy that boy a cork.
Ashleigh: (Trying to pry a watery-eyed Lulu off of her arm) Can we go get food now?
Kallen: (Doing the same thing- it's been a back and forth thing.) Starving!!
Jordan: Please! (Looks around) Great... We've got three people to baby-sit.
Ashleigh: Yeah... like drunken babies... (Pushes Lelouch off of her shoulder again) Can I PLEASE shove him into oncoming traffic!?
Jordan: You'd better think it over at the Waffle House.
Suzaku: (Hugging Lelouch) Suzaku heal!
(Finally at the House of Waffles!!)
(The five people sit at the bar at the Waffle House)
Kallen: (Almost tips over from the seat's lack of a backrest.)
Jordan: (Puts her hand on Suzaku's shoulder and points to the menu on the wall) Okay, Pretty Green Eyes. The menu's up there. Just pick what you want.
Suzaku: (Stares blankly at the menu for a really long time.) (Suddenly looks dissatisfied.) Man... These strippers SUCK!! (Pushes Lelouch's shoulder) You... (Throws his hand towards the menu for emphasis) You get up there!!
Lelouch: (Buries his face in his hands) What's the point! No one's ever a good tipper!
Jordan and Ashleigh: (Look at each other)
Kallen: (Starts throwing loose change at Suzaku and Lelouch) Take it off!!
Lelouch: (Covers his head with his arms) WE'RE UNDER FIRE!!
Suzaku: (Looks around, unimpressed) (Spots a plate next to him and tosses a dollar bill at a piece of bacon.) Take it off!!
Jordan: Ooookaaayy... We definitely have to sober these guys up.
Ashleigh: (Holding Lelouch's mouth open with one hand an a fork-full of waffle in the other, shoving it down his throat.) I'm waaaayyy ahead of you.
Lelouch: (Squirming) STOOOP IIIIT!!
Ashleigh: Shut up and sober up!
(Later...)
(Eventually, after forcing waffles and coffee down his throat, Jordan and Ashleigh manage to get Lelouch partly sober.)
Ashleigh: (Laying her head on the table) Man... That wore me out...
Jordan: You're not kidding...
Lelouch: (Holds a glass of ice-water to his forehead) This headache... God, where did it come from? And since when are we at the Waffle House? Last thing I remember, we were bowling and Suzaku went mentally insane...
Jordan: (Groans and puts her head down on the table as well) It's a long story...
Lelouch: It's a story I don't want to hear, isn't it?
Ashleigh: Absolutely...
Suzaku: (Spinning in his chair) Suzaku bored!!
Lelouch: ... How long has Suzaku been referring to himself in the third person?
Ashleigh: Since before, during, and after Karen knocked him unconscious for doing it...
Jordan: (Pinches the bridge of her nose) And you think YOU have the headache.
Suzaku: (Munches on ice cream and suddenly stops) Suzaku... (Throws his hands to his head) ... BRAIN FREEZE!!
Ashleigh: (Stands up) That's it! Suzaku's SO getting to go play in traffic! (Charges at Suzaku)
Jordan: (Holds her back) No, no! Hold on a second! He'll sober up eventually! ... I hope...
Ashleigh: I can't take it anymore!! He's driving me crazy!
Lelouch: It wasn't a long trip, was it?
Ashleigh: You shut up or I swear I'll make you cry again!
Lelouch: Again?
Jordan: Ash, just calm down.
Ashleigh: (Sits down and slams her head on the counter) Agh! Suzaku's never getting vodka again EVER! ... And neither are you! (Points at Lelouch)
Lelouch: What? What did I ever do to you?
Ashleigh: I can't handle all the crying and wailing! Ugh, we had to make sure you didn't go and kill yourself!
Lelouch: Wha?
Jordan: (Nods) Its' true...
Suzaku: (Suddenly- to Lulu) Suzaku HUG!
Lelouch: Get off of me!
Suzaku: Lelouch... Changed?
Jordan: Yeah, he sobered up.
Ashleigh: Now you do the same! (Slaps him on the forehead) Heal!
Suzaku: (Stares blankly at her) Suzaku's brain rattle... DO IT AGAIN!
Jordan: That's it we are going home! (Grabs Kallen)
(Kallen grabs Ashleigh, and Ashleigh grabs Lelouch, and Lelouch grabs Suzaku.)
Suzaku: Wee! Suzaku TRAIN!!
(At Clubhouse after they take Kallen to her house…)
Jordan: I'm going to sleep… Wake me up and die!
Ashleigh: Same goes for me!
(Lelouch walks off to see if C.C is awake yet.)
(…While Suzaku gets an idea…)
Suzaku: Hehe… Suzaku sneaky!
(Only a few minutes later)
(Lelouch walks back into his room to find Suzaku in a frightening short kimono and fan in hand, lying on his bed.)
Suzaku: SUZAKU POSE! (He lies down on his left side with his left leg stretched out and the right leg thrown over his left leg.)
Lelouch: (Stares blankly for a minute and walks out) (Yelling from outside) SUZAKU GET OUT!!
Suzaku: Awww… (Walks out of Lelouch's room with his head hanging down and passes him.)
Lelouch: (Hand over his eyes with angry face, pointing down the hall to another room.)
(Around three in the morning…)
(Suzaku, still obviously drunk, sneaks back into Lelouch's room and gets into bed with him.)
Suzaku: (Whispering) Suzaku spoon!
(The next morning!!)
(Jordan and Ashleigh are slumped over the kitchen table, tired from the night before. C.C. strolls around looking for food. She miraculously doesn't have a hangover.)
Ashleigh: C.C., how are you able to move?
Jordan: Yeah, you blacked out twice.
C.C.: Do you really need to ask that question?
Ashleigh: No, not really…
Jordan: It's going on noon, and the other two still haven't woken up yet… Wanna go get them?
Ashleigh: Like we have a choice?
(Jordan and Ashleigh both grab two trays and stick a bottle of Tylenol in the middle of each of them.)
Jordan: (Walks up to the door to Suzaku's guest room) (Knocks) Pretty Green Eyes… Wake up! Pretty Green Eyes? (Opens the door)
(The room is empty.)
Jordan: (Looks confused and walks further down the hall to where Ashleigh went) Hey, Suzaku's not in his room. Do you think he…?
Ashleigh: (Standing frozen in front of the open door. Her tray tips due to her lack of attention and the bottle of pills rolls off of it and hits the floor.) Oh… my… Suzaku…
Jordan: (Looks over her shoulder) What are you looking at? (She gasps and throws her hands over her mouth to not laugh) Holy crap!!
(They just stand there and stare at Suzaku and Lelouch, curled up next to each other- Suzaku's arm slung over Lulu. After a few minutes Jordan and Ashleigh silently shut the door and stagger back into the kitchen.)
Jordan: (Bursts out laughing and leans on the kitchen counter for support) Can you believe that!?
Ashleigh: (Fell on her hands and knees because she was laughing so hard.) Holy god!!
C.C.: What are you two laughing at?
Jordan: (Points up the stairs) Go look!!
(C.C. goes upstairs to the room. She peeks in and remarkably keeps a straight face. A smile slowly forms on her face.)
C.C.: (Clasps her hands together) Adorable. (Goes back downstairs)
Jordan: Did you see?
C.C.: (Nods)
Ashleigh: You didn't wake them up?
C.C.: They curl like kittens. I couldn't bring myself to do it.
(About an hour later…)
(A loud boom is heard upstairs)
Ashleigh: (Stands up) Did you hear that?
Jordan: (Watching TV) Hear what?
Ashleigh: I swear I just heard a bang come from upstairs…
Jordan: I didn't hear anything…
Ashleigh: (Goes upstairs anyway. She cautiously opens the door.)
Suzaku: (Still sound asleep.)
Lelouch: (Sprawled out on the floor in a mound of blankets with a look of pure horror on his face.)
Ashleigh: … How did you end up on the floor?
Lelouch: (Looks up, wide-eyed.) I don't know anymore…
Suzaku: (Moves his arm around, searching the spot where Lelouch used to be.) (Still asleep) … Where'd he go…?
Ashleigh: (Nods) Yeah… Sure… (Walks away)
Lelouch: (Scrambles out the door) You can't just leave me here!
Owari!! (Finally!)
XxX
Author's Notes- Sheesh… Stupendously long chapter!! We've been planning this chapter since chapter 8 was posted so it's really good to finally get to write it! In case you couldn't tell, each character has their own different personality whilst intoxicated. To list:
Kallen: The rowdy drunk. (This didn't get exploited as much as the others.)
C.C.: Completely the same. (The only way you can tell she's drunk is when she passes out.)
Suzaku: The slutty drunk! (He gets a little loose... Haha! And talks in the third person.)
Lelouch: The depressed drunk. (The most annoying of them all!)
Author's Notes- Candice and Karen are our friends that wanted an appearance, and I really, REALLY want to see Suzaku drunk!
And I really, really don't,
-Destiny
Next Chapter:Birthday Surprise!
(Summary: It's Lulu's birthday and with the two of us hanging around, there are several surprises lurking around every corner!)