Pull yourself together Kurt. You cant be weak you have to be strong for Blaine. He's going to be back in less than five minutes pull yourself together.
Kurt chanted this to himself until he finally calmed down to soft sniffles without free flowing tears.
Blaine was worried. Was he pushing Kurt too far with the cake? But Kurt needed to enjoy the simple pleasures of life if he was going to get better.
How could I be so blind? I cant believe I just believed that Kurt would magically get better. I cant believe I believed Kurt when he seemed to magically get better. I just want to love him and for him to love himself.
Blaine arrived at the second cup and said hello to Martha the barista.
"The usual?"
"Uhm yeah and can I get a slice of… chocolate cheesecake?" asked Blaine.
"'Course sweetie! That'll be 12.35" Blaine gave her the money and left. He knew this wasn't going to be easy. Its not just cake, Blaine knew that. This was going to be hard for Kurt. He wouldn't push him but he knew that Kurt wasn't going to be able to do this on his own. It would be a first step on a long journey to recovery.
"Hey I'm home- Kurt!" Kurt was sitting on the couch, he had obviously been crying.
Blaine placed the coffee and cake down then ran over to Kurt.
"Oh baby what's wrong?" Blaine cooed holding Kurt in his arms.
"I'm so sorry Blaine! I just, if I eat this I know you say you love me now but if I eat this I'll gain weight I cant gain weight Blaine I'm huge! I know you say size doesn't matter but when I'm a whale I wont expect you to want to even look at me, I wont want to look at me.." Blaine was put back. Is this truly what went through Kurt's mind when it came to food? Did Kurt honestly not see his ribs poking out through his skin, his skeleton-like appearance?
"Oh Kurt.. I love you so much. You are so beautiful to me. But you know what isn't beautiful? Being in love with a walking skeleton. I love you and the way you look Kurt, you're beautiful. You know I love you even if we're being platonic at the moment. I love you and I'd love you no matter what. You are so thin though Kurt, its not beautiful its tragic and I don't see the Kurt I love anymore. I love your heart and soul not your exterior. I will never leave you again Kurt. Never." Blaine was looking deeply into Kurt's eyes now, trying to get his message through. Kurt had, for the most part calmed down so Blaine went over to get the cheesecake.
"For every bite I'll take another. I know you love chocolate cheesecake Kurt, its always been your favorite" Kurt was breathing steadily.
Blaine brought the cheesecake slice over the Kurt and sat beside him. He gave him the fork and looked at him.
The first bite Kurt took was small, he took at long time to chew and swallow it.
"You are the most beautiful person I know" Blaine murmured, then took a bite.
Another bite and another compliment.
Your eyes are like glass pools
Another bite
Your skin is so soft I could kiss it for days
Another bite
Your hands are so delicate and they will always hold my heart
Another bite
You are so gorgeous sometimes I truly wonder if you're an angel.
Finally the slice was eaten after about 20 minutes. Kurt cried. He willed himself to not think about calories or working out or purging or cutting because he didn't deserve Blaine. He let Blaine hold him.
"This isn't going to be easy is it?" asked Kurt.
"No, but when has convenience ever stopped our love?" Blaine smiled.
"We really suck at being just friends eh?" It was true though. Blaine was holding Kurt in his arms tight. Kurt's face was nuzzled into the crook of Blaine's neck. They didn't look platonic at all but it didn't really matter right now.
"Hm.. but this. Just this. Its what we need right now. I don't know what we are Kurt, but I know I love you. I also know that us dating would be a horrible idea right now because that would add stress to your life and I cant do that to you. But please don't think that's because of you, if I could I'd marry you right now." Blaine was surprised at his own words. As true as they were. If Blaine didn't think that Kurt needed time alone then he would get down on one knee and propose. But he wanted to give Kurt a proper wedding, after he graduated and had the money to give Kurt a fairy tale wedding. The wedding that he deserved.
"And one day I do plan on marrying you, Kurt Hummel. One day when I have enough money to give you a proper wedding and when you are healed. When we can both be each other's forever."
Kurt smiled.
"I like that plan"
so what did you think? do you like how its going? review and all that jazz :)