10. Places of the Heart, Part 2

The Weasley family and Hermione were informed of Harry's rescue and they all wanted to rush off immediately to go and see him.

"I'm sorry," Dumbledore held up his hands. "He is too ill for visitors."

"Albus," Molly's voice shook with emotion and she held onto Arthur's arm for support. "Will he ever be able to recover from this?"

"We have to take this one step at a time," the tired old wizard replied, looking at the many sets of worried blue eyes staring back at him. "First, we have to get him off that drug."

"Perhaps you should contact Helena," offered Arthur.

"We already have. She will be coming in the next day or so."

As the questions and answers volleyed back and forth, Molly couldn't help but notice that her youngest son was standing off in the shadows, uncharacteristically silent.

~SH~

"Sev?"

Severus set down the bowl of applesauce he'd been trying to get Harry to eat, "Yes my love."

Though everything seemed like a daze and he felt continually on the verge of tears, hearing Sev call him 'love' and knowing that he was always nearby was like a lifeline to Harry.

"There was … a little elf." It was still a challenge for him to talk. "Was she real?"

Severus explained just who she was, that her name was Widgen and that she'd rescued him.

"Can I see her?"

"Both of you are too weak Mr. Potter," Jacobs interjected as he approached the bed holding a small Bamboo pipe. "Perhaps in a day or so."

Harry saw the pipe and as much as he wanted to turn away, he found himself trying to reach for the small object.

Severus trembled as he watched his beloved suck on the pipe, desperately drawing the vapor inside him.

When Harry finished and there was no more vapor to inhale, he sank into his pillow feeling satiated yet at the same time sickened at his own pathetic need.

Helena came two days later and she sat by his bed as he lay dozing.

When he awoke, he saw the familiar sapphire blue of her robes.

"Hello Harry."

Ashamed and embarrassed, he looked down as tears welled in his eyes and began rolling freely down his cheeks.

Helena cared a great deal about Harry. As a friend, she wanted to wrap him in her arms and tell him that everything would be alright. But as his counselor, she knew she could never do that.

That sort of love and support would have to come from his friends. The way Helena could best help him would be as an impartial guide. She would help her patient sift through all the emotional injuries, the frustrations and feeling of helplessness, the eventual anger and confusion and the many other weavings that would arise as a result of this ordeal. Yes, it would be a long journey, but she would be there to help and to guide him.

"Can you tell me what it is you are feeling right now?"

She waited as he continued to cry; eventually he answered with his still whisper of a voice.

"Ashamed."

"Why?"

Another long pause. "All my fault." He continued to cry.

"Why in Merlin's name would you think that?"

Harry took a shaky breath, "Too confident ... Thought I could … protect myself."

Helena wasn't surprised by his interpretation, knowing that he had a propensity to blame himself.

"Do you remember how it all started? That night you disappeared, can you tell me what you remember of that night?"

By starting at the very beginning of his ordeal, Helena helped Harry to take the first step in what would be a long journey of healing. She would be there each step of the way, helping him process through all that had happened and helping him face his future reactions. For just as Healer Jacobs was determined to heal Harry physically, Helena was just as determined that he heal emotionally.

~SH~

All day Harry could sense that something was amiss. He was just about to ask Severus what was going on but before he could, Healer Jacobs arrived carrying another IV bag.

He planned on lowering the dosage of Opium to one third gram the next day and wanted to begin introducing the inhibitor that would help Harry during the withdrawal process by offsetting as much of the symptoms as possible.

They suddenly heard the sound of anxious voices from down at the other end of the wing.

"What's wrong?" whispered Harry.

The two men looked at each other with peculiar expressions. Obviously they knew what was happening.

"Sev … please tell me."

Severus looked to Healer Jacobs, as if asking for permission or trying to get his opinion on what he should do. After a few moments, the Healer nodded his approval.

Severus took a hold of his beloved's hands. "I'm so sorry to tell you this, but Widgen is dying."

Harry felt as if someone had taken all of the air out of his lungs. This couldn't possibly be happening. "It's all my fault."

Both men began to try and make Harry see reason. "That elf is over two hundred years old!" exclaimed Jacobs.

"This is not your fault!" stated Severus emphatically.

As they continued with their diatribe of logic, Harry was lost in his thoughts and memories of Widgen. Finally he whispered, "I want to say good bye to her."

"Oh no. You're much too weak." Severus turned to the Healer for confirmation. Jacobs was about to say something, but Harry continued his plea.

"I have to say good bye… Want to thank her … for saving me. Please."

Finally, grudgingly, they both gave in.

~SH~

Severus wrapped Harry in a soft blanket and carried him down the length of the infirmary with Healer Jacobs following along, levitating the IV bags.

He laid the frail young man on Widgen's bed and positioned him on his side so that he faced the little elf.

She too was on her side, but in a fetal position.

Dobby had already said his goodbyes and was sitting behind his I'osi, rubbing little circles on her back.

Harry watched Widgen sleep and then after a minute or so, he pulled his hand out from inside the blanket and began to stroke her peach fuzz hair, just as she had done for him so many times.

He could only manage to do this for a couple of strokes before his arm got too heavy to hold up. He let it drop to the mattress and instead held onto one of her tiny hands.

The little elf opened her eyes and smiled at the familiar face. "Ah, neth Ernil," Widgen whispered. "Myneth Ernil is coming to say goodbye."

With that, Harry dissolved into tears. Even so, he was determined to say good bye.

"Thank you … for saving me," his words bounced along his thin voice. "I'm so sorry … I did this to you. So sorry …"

"Sum, why is you saying that?"

"All my fault," he could barely get the words out. "You'd be okay … if not for me."

"Oh neth Ernil, I not die because of you. I go because I is wanting to go. I go now to Valinor to rest. It is time … it is my choosing."

Harry didn't know what to say to that, so he just continued to cry.

"Oh Sum, you is being so young ... You is not knowing how it is to be so old like me."

She wiped away some of his tears then placed her hand back in his. "No crying for me neth Ernil, for I happy to be going. I ready to be leaving middle earth, happy to go to Valinor to my resting."

She looked into his emerald eyes and whispered, "Ai Armiel Telere Maenen Hir."

Then she closed her eyes and was gone.

~SH~

Late that night, Harry lay curled up on his side as he stared at the wall through his sadness.

Severus had tried to comfort his beloved, saying everything and anything he could possibly think to say — but nothing would ease the young man's pain.

A tiny sound from the end of the screen attracted Severus' attention.

It was Dobby. He looked up to the Professor, asking permission to come closer.

Severus nodded and so the elf climbed up on the bed, walked towards the head and sat down by the pillow.

Dobby hated seeing his friend so upset and he knew that his I'osi would not want her neth Ernil to grieve like this. So he decided to do something about it.

He leaned forward to try and get Harry to acknowledge him, but he didn't so Dobby leaned more and more forward until his face was only a couple of inches away from Harry's — then he peered right into his eyes.

There was no way he could ignore the little elf any longer. The sight of Dobby with all his hats and those enormous blue eyes staring expectantly at him was so comical - he couldn't help the little laugh that escaped him.

"Dobby … stop. Why aren't you crying?"

"Oh Harry Potter, you is not understanding. MyI'osi is gone to Valinor. This is not being a sad thing — it is being a happy thing. Please, no more being sad. Dobby is not being sad; he is being happy for his I'osi.

Harry remained silent as he began to pull at a thread on one of Dobby's colorful socks.

"My I'osi is not saving Harry Potter for him to be sad. She is saving him to be happy."

Dobby's words did make sense and he supposed that Widgen would have been disappointed if she knew he was so sad that she had died, especially when she seemed so at peace with all of it.

"Dobby? What did she say to me just before…" He couldn't finish the sentence.

"My I'osi was saying goodbye."

"But I don't understand the words."

Dobby sat for a moment and thought. "If Dobby is talking like Harry Potter, the words are sounding like this: "You hold my heart forever."

Harry gasped softly upon hearing those beautiful words, Widgen's eloquent farewell. He stared up at the little elf, not knowing what to say.

Dobby simply returned the gaze with an expression of contentment and a smile of reassurance.

~SH~

Elvish Translations:

I'osi: Mother of Mother (Grandmother)

E'A' Sum: Grandson

Sum: Child

neth: young

Ernil: Prince

hini: Children

Valinor: The land of Valar. The resting place where elves go after they leave middle earth.

References:

*Opium and its allure Through Time by Peter Lee

*Forgotten Realm: A Compilation of Forgotten Canon Realms: Elvin Words by Dagnirion

* The Valar Guild Tolkein Encyclopedia, Elves, a History by Varda, 2005

*WIPO 1992 Patent Application by Phamavene: (Type) Mao B Inhibitor, used in Drug Withdrawal Symptoms and Drug Craving.