2 Weeks Ago

Emma didn't want to be left alone with the baby.

She didn't want to be left alone with Alex because she knew eventually she'd hurt him. Because she couldn't bond with him or smile at him the way Jefferson did. She was too scared she'd do something wrong. She'd carried him for nine months and she knew little about him other than he was a boy, he never slept through the night, and his name was Alex.

And she knew that she should've been there.

Emma wasn't meant to be a mother. She didn't know why she even agreed to this. Maybe it was best if she just left and went on her own. She was better that way. Alex was safe here, she trusted Jefferson not to hurt him now. He'd understand, he'd be a good father to the boy.

But where would she go?

The idea of sleeping in a cramped yellow bug for God knew how long until she found a place wasn't very appealing. Being alone again…she hated it the first time; she wasn't up for a repeat performance.

So, at the very least, she was going to stick this out as long as she could.

"I have to leave this morning," Jefferson told her as they got breakfast set out.

Emma turned sharply, "What?"

"It won't be for very long."

Emma looked back at the small bassinet, "Wh-what about the baby?"

"He'll be fine here with you."

Emma's heart started hammering in her chest, "No! You can't leave me here alone."

"Emma, it'll be fine."

"Can't you take him with you?"

"This is a business meeting, I can't."

"You don't work!" she panicked and looked at the baby. Never more than two hours, he was never quieter than two hours. If Jefferson was gone for longer than that, he'd have a screaming fit and Emma wouldn't know what to do.

"I still have business to attend to where a baby would not be welcome," he took her hand and she yanked it away. He gave her a hurt look but she wouldn't look at him, "Emma….you can do this."

"I can't take care of him."

"You've done very well," he told her almost soothingly.

"With you in the house!"

"Emma, just pretend I'm in the house and you'll be fine."

It wasn't the same and he knew it.

"It'll be fine," he told her, "I won't be far."

"but-."

Emma, you'll have to be alone with the baby eventually."

"I was hoping it would be when he was fifty."

"Emma," he smiled at her in that way he did to make her feel reassured even though she really wasn't, "It'll be fine."

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Alex started fussing when Jefferson was gone.

Emma tried to ignore it. It was the cry he used when he just wanted attention.

But he didn't stop, and so she threw the towel down and went to the pen, "Alex….please….don't…."

How could this kid operate on so little sleep?

When he saw that he had her attention, his lip quivered and he burst into wails.

"Oh God," Emma cringed and pulled him out of the bassinet, "Okay, okay, okay…."

She held him close, so he could feel her heartbeat like Jefferson taught her. He immediately stopped crying and gave a quiet gurgle of contentment.

She couldn't do this.

She didn't know the first thing about being a mother. Why didn't Alex sense that?

She gave a small sob, "I'm sorry, David."

When Jefferson returned, he found Emma holding his son and crying

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Present Day

Emma balanced her son on her hip as she flipped over the bologna in the skillet. Two weeks…she was doing a lot better with him and them being by themselves.

"What shall you and mommy do today?" Emma smiled as her son made those little baby grunts that babies seemed to make.

The front door opened. Emma looked up and smiled when Jefferson walked into the room, "Hey. I am making….lunch. Fried bologna. Not much but it's what my foster mother…or one of my foster mothers used to make."

He was quiet, he went to stand next to her as she cooked, "Emma….we should talk."

Emma felt her stomach clench. Usually when a man came up to her and said that, it never boded well, "Are you kicking me out?"

"No," he said quickly, "No, no, nothing like that."

But Emma kept a tight grip on her spatula; she knew things would change if she slipped in bed with him. He'd freak out…panic…or want something that she wasn't ready. Is that what this was about?

Emma looked over at him, "What do you want to talk about?"

He hesitated, "You're happy here, right? "

She nodded.

"With me? With Alex, you want to stay here for him, right?"

"What are you talking about?" she asked, "Jefferson….."

"I have a way for you to get custody of Alex and share it with me."

Emma perked up at that. She wanted her son back. It was something she thought about but never something she'd act on because Alex was safest with Jefferson with his legal father. She signed her rights away; she had nothing except what Jefferson let her have. She had no claim on Alex legally.

"How?"

He put the small box in front of her. Emma's eyes widened and she backed away. He didn't have to open it, she knew what that was, "No."

"Emma-."

"No!" she held Alex in front of her like he was a shield. This was insane, she knew that Jefferson was a bit odd but she never expected that he'd do something like this. They were friends. They were co parents, but she didn't love him. And after what Neal did, she didn't want any romantic feelings, not now.

"Emma, this would be good. You'd have half the house, the belongings; you'd have something to your name. You could legally be a mother for Alex"

"I signed my rights away."

"Emma Swan did, but Emma de Luca never signed any such thing."

"We're one in the same."

"Law won't care."

"Do you know that for certain?" Emma demanded and held her son close.

"Emma," he held his hands up like he was surrendering, "I don't want anything, it would just be marriage in name. For security so that you have something to fall back on…and so Alex has someone that he can fall back on."

"But marriage is-."

"The best security I can offer you."

"- is very very sacred," Her heart was racing, "its life changing. I- I already have enough problems being a mom, I don't know how to be a wife on top of it!"

"Nothing would change."

"Everything would change," Emma told him, "There are duties and expectations-."

"I won't expect those."

"Of course you will!" Emma told him tearfully and turned, "And you'll hurt me just like everyone else does."

"Emma-."

"Why now?" She demanded, "Why after over a month…you haven't even shown me anything that showed you were interested in me."

He was quiet and she went for the only thing that she knew changed.

"Is this about the mayor?" When he wouldn't look at her, she knew she was hitting the mark, "What is it about her that has you running scared?"

He looked down, she saw his jaw clench up. She knew he wasn't going to tell her anything.

She shook her head angrily and held her son to her chest and moved away, towards her room, "I can't marry you."