Hey. It's been awhile.
I'm really sorry about the wait. I lost my flash drive which had the next few chapters for this story on it, not to mention ALL of my pictures, so I'm still bumming hard. But after the lovely holidays, I got a little inspiration so I decided to try and re-write these chapters. Thank you all so much for all of the wonderful reviews. Please enjoy.
*edited on 12-14-15*
The heels on my leather flats click against the metal-grated steps of the fire escape outside my apartment building. The structure happened to be attached to my bedroom window, making for prime late-night escapes for me and, well, for Jade.
I don't find myself needing to sneak out these days. But habit has brought me back to this fire escape and by the time I realize it's unnecessary - that the front door will always be a valid option now, no matter the hour - I'm already halfway up and it'd be pointless to turn back. So I climb. And when I reach my bedroom window I tug it up and shuffle inside.
I slam the window shut behind me and pull the shades down over it. The room is dark and musty. I wander over to the light switch and flip it on before approaching my vanity mirror heedfully. I let out the long breath of air I'd been holding in when I see my reflection.
Nearly the entire left side of my face was a sickly purple color, the worst area being around my eye, just below the temple, where the bruising was nearly black. The cut on my lower lip was scabbed over, as well as the cuts on my knuckles. The handprint bruises along my arms were even more prominent now, but the worst of it was a dark red and not nearly as bad as my face. All of this, plus the sprained wrist, made my situation impossible to cover up and for a second time I find myself eternally grateful for Oliver. He had had the bright idea of calling the academy this morning with a story about a minor car accident, starring me.
It's quite ridiculous, seeing as how everyone I've ever met at school knows that I do not have a car and do not drive, but it was a story and it wouldn't raise any suspicion. Teens get in car accidents daily. And I'm just a regular teen. Mostly.
I step into the bathroom, and turn on the tap to splash some water on my face. I had opted to sleeping in this morning which was well deserved and much needed, but left me with little time to get ready and still catch the bus. I mentally scratch shower off my list as there is clearly no time, but groan aloud when I look up into the mirror and see my frizzy, knotted hair. I gently pat my face dry before grabbing a ribbon and tying my hair into a low ponytail. It's still a mess but it doesn't look like it.
After a failed attempt of covering some of the bruising with foundation, I decide to skip makeup for the day and walk back into my room in search of my uniform. I find it in the dirty clothes hamper and with another long groan I pull the wrinkled skirt and button up shirt on. I attempt to smooth out some of the wrinkles on the shirt, to no avail. Luckily, in a last minute search, I find a school sweater-vest hanging in my closet and pull it on.
As I spritz some floral scented body spray over my dirty uniform, I glance over to the alarm clock on my nightstand.
7:46.
I have twenty-four minutes to get to school. Perfect.
I quickly toss the body spray onto my vanity and make my way to the bedroom door before stopping in my tracks. I look at the simple, wooden door and feel my hand tremble as I reach for the old rusted knob. I've always hated this part.
I turn the knob slowly while taking a long, deep breath. The living room and kitchen are dark, as usual and smell even more musty than my bedroom does. I clench my fists and swiftly walk through the apartment, stopping only to grab my school bag which is slumped on the floor by the couch. The moment the door is shut behind me, sealing away the dreaded memories soaked into the walls, I let out the breath I'd been holding in.
It's funny how a simple change of costume can alter so much. I sit atop the same table from just a few days before in my plaid skirt and tie and suddenly my bumps and bruises become an accident instead of the battle scars they are. And when the green mask is pulled tight over my face, the nightmares of empty wheelchairs and bloody carpets are just fuel to fight with.
I scan my eyes across the courtyard for the umpteenth time, still hoping I'll catch a glimpse of raven hair and bright eyes. And yet again disappointment settles in the pit of my stomach.
I turn to my half-eaten lunch sitting on the table beside me. The ripe pear, pocked and bruised, taunts me with thoughts of brighter days and stolen moments of one-sided intimacy so I cover it with a discarded napkin.
My face aches and I feel the steady throb of a fast approaching headache in my temple. I've gotten a fair number of stares and points; of rushed whispers that come to an abrupt halt when I come near. It doesn't take a genius to deduce that I'm the new hot topic of discussion. But for once the gossip chain is working in my favor. My suspicious injuries never got the chance to amount to much once word of my freak accident - which, last I'd heard, had escalated to a car wreck caused by an excessive ecstasy intake - was spread around campus like a wildfire. I didn't need to worry about my secret being exposed. Always coming through for me Oli.
"Artemis," the sudden voice makes me jump, and I turn my head a little too quickly to look at the speaker, not helping the throbbing in my head. "Oh my god! You poor thing!" I blink up at Missy Something-or-other. She's on the student council. I think. "I heard about your accident. How are you feeling?!"
"Uhhhh."
She smiles at me, the worry that marred her face seconds before vanishing completely. "That's great!" She pats me on the shoulder before bounding off past my table to the crowd of girls standing nearby waiting for her. I can only blink in confusion.
When the bell finally rings, I dispose of my nearly uneaten lunch and walk slowly to class. Dick has always had pretty poor attendance - there was nothing new there - but since we became good friends he always made sure he told me when he wouldn't show. This complete silence was uncharacteristic.
Seated in the back of class, I reach into my bag and pull out my cellphone. I unlock it and go to my messenger app, selecting my conversation with Dick. We hadn't messaged each other since the other night and I had completely forgotten to call him back. I type out a quick message to him now, hoping it doesn't sound too pathetic:
Missed seeing you at lunch today
It doesn't take very long for him to reply:
Long story. Tell you later
His response leaves me highly dissatisfied. Just as stretch my arm down to slip my phone back into my bag, it vibrates in my hand and curiosity has me pull it back up:
By the way, I heard about the accident. From Barbara. Not cool.
Oops.
I'm not sure what to say to him. I feel like a simple apology would not suffice in this situation:
I didn't want to worry you Dick
He doesn't respond.
"There. Your cast has officially been 'Robified'." Robin says through a wide grin as he clicks his pen shut against Wally's leg cast. I peer over Wally's shoulder at the boy wonders' handiwork and let out a chuckle at the three doodled robin heads - quite similar to the icons on his computer hacker - in a row along Wally's cast. Wally is spread out on the couch in the living room, his broken leg propped up on the coffee table over a pillow. Robin sits on his right in a wheelchair, which looked as crazy as it sounded. But his orders from the doc was to keep off his feet, otherwise he'd rip open a stitch moving around his hip.
"What're you laughing at?" Wally asks around a mouthful of chips, craning his neck to look back at me. I shrug, letting out another chuckle.
"You two are just so cute." I say, giving him a mocking grin. Wally sneers at me as Robin shakes his head at us and rolls himself to the kitchen. I tousle Wally's coppery locks before turning away from him and sitting on a stool at the island. I watch Robin with a steady gaze as he rolls to the pantry and carefully maneuvers the tall door open around his outstretched leg.
"Eating out of boredom is not good for the soul," I parrot his words from an earlier time with a smirk. He turns his head away from the cabinet to look at me, a lopsided smile on his face. I bite into my bottom lip.
I suddenly find myself rising to my feet, eyes not breaking away from his glasses. And I'm not sure what's driving me forward - maybe it's the lengthy silence from Dick - but I manage to close the distance between the two of us without hesitation or thought.
He's facing me the entire time and as I crouch down onto my knees on the side of his chair, only a wheel separating us, his head follows me down.
"Artemis." And for the first time since this charade between us has started, he is the one to sound dazed and breathless; confused and excited about what may happen in these next few seconds. He leans his head down closer to me, but only gets so far with his limitation.
My face is as still as a marble statue. The only sound between us is the faint chewing from Wally and the soft murmur of the cooking channel playing on the tv.
"Come here." And he's back in control with his husky voice and sure demand that sends a tremor down my body. I scoot closer to his chair, as close as I can possibly get, and crane my neck up till our faces are mere inches apart.
I flinch when his fingers rub along my exposed collarbone. Wally drops something behind us and it clatters loudly against the concrete floor. He lets out a groan.
"Push me to my room?" Robin says in a heavy whisper against my ear. My heart is thundering in my chest. I open my mouth to respond - or, more likely, to mumble out some incoherent slur of words through my quivering lips.
"Hey! Art, I dropped the remote." Wally shouts over his shoulder. I shut my eyes and feel my cheeks ignite as clarity washes over me.
What the hell did I almost get myself into?
"Coming," I call to the speedster as I push myself up off the ground and start for the living room.
The remote lays by the coffee table, it's back cover popped off and a battery missing. I get on my hand and knees and search low for the runway battery before finding it beneath the table. I stretch my arm out, just barely able to fit it under the gap between the table and the floor and manage to grab the little battery.
As I stand up with the remote in one hand and the battery and back cover in the other, I notice Robin has rolled over and has his head focused on me. I look away from him, blushing and pop the battery into the remote, fumbling slightly. Once I snap the cover into place, I thrust the remote at Wally who looks between me - who has suddenly clammed up - and Robin - who still openly stares at me - and quirks up his eyebrow, most likely noticing the heavy tension slowly settling in the room.
"Errr what did I miss?" He asks, reaching for the remote held in my outstretched hand tentatively.
"Nothing," I utter, pulling my hand away once he grabs the remote and crossing my arms. Robin sits silently.
Wally continues to stare back and forth before cautiously looking down at the remote and finding the guide button. He presses it and starts browsing through the channels on the screen.
"Any chance I could get a soda?" He asks after a few more seconds of silence. He doesn't turn his head from the tv but I see his green eyes glance my way for a second.
I move without speaking and walk past Robin and into the kitchen. I pull open the fridge and grab a can of ginger ale and walk it back to Wally. He smiles at me while he takes it from my hand. I can't offer one in return.
I ask him if he needs anything else and when he says no, I turn from the two boys and walk down the hall leading to the bedrooms. But when my door approaches I walk past it and stop outside Robins. My hand shakes as I hit the control panel and open the door and the shaking spreads to my legs as the door slides open, revealing his dark room.
I walk in slowly after checking both sides of the hall. The door closes behind me, sealing out the light from the hall. His computer is on and it casts a faint glow across the room. I look at his wallpaper, softly smiling at the silly image of a cat riding a slice of pizza in space. I hadn't realized he had such an obsession with goofy cat pictures.
There were a lot of things I'd been finding out about Robin recently. And only now am I realizing how much of a stranger he'd really been to me up till now. A favorite type of food shouldn't be new information, yet I only had discovered last month that Robin could bathe in a tub of chocolate pudding for how much he adored the snack.
Something shifted between us at some point. We went from being teammates to something else, far beyond friendship, and it happened so fast and just below my nose that I didn't even realize it. But standing here now in his dark room that smells faintly of aftershave - which what? Robin shaves? When did he grow up? - and smiling at his computer backdrop, I slowly come to the realization that with that shift my feelings for him shifted too.
Before, when he was the goofy kid with a quick tongue, he had kept himself so distant from everyone but Wally, I had eventually learned to accept it. Robin had a secret identity he couldn't share with us so it was easy to leave us hanging at a distance. I understood - I still do - but because I had it in my head for so long that he could never let himself get close to anyone, I didn't realize it when he finally opened himself up to me. Now, I see all the signs that go beyond his forward touches. He slowly let me in by tossing out little bits and pieces of the boy behind the mask. And I realize it all started with my mother.
For some reason - and I'm still trying to work out why - her attack and subsequent coma is the cause for our shift. That night when he rocked me to sleep while I soaked in my mothers blood, he decided to let me in. And finally I want him to.
I want to hide Dick away behind a curtain in my mind for just a moment so I can figure out what Robin is to me with a clear head; so I can figure out what I want from him without having to feel guilty.
"See anything interesting?"
I snap around quickly and see Robin sitting in the open doorway. The sliding doors weren't quiet. I must have been on another planet to not hear his door open.
"No. Not particularly. " My arms cross of their own accord. Robin pushes himself forward, allowing the door to slide shut. We stand in a heavy silence for minute before he nods his head at his bed.
"Wanna give me a hand?" I nod my head and make my way across his room. He rolls himself over to the side of his bed and sets the locks on his chair. "Careful with my leg," he murmurs in a voice so soft it slips between the cracks in my heart and I reach out and touch his outstretched leg with a delicacy I didn't know existed in me.
"I know," I reply in a tone nearly matching his.
He braces his arms on the bed and pulls his weight up as I hold onto his leg from the underside of his thigh, trying to keep it from moving too much. Once he's got his butt on the bed I help him move his leg across the bed and set it down gently. He pulls his other leg up and stretches it out in front of him so his toes are even.
I'm perched beside him on the small bed, my legs tucked beneath my butt. The room is dark but his computer screen is reflected on his sunglasses and the shine on them guides me to his face. I lean in real close, splaying my hand out on his chest and pushing him back against the mattress.
"You must be losing your mind," I whisper with a gravelly voice into his ear. The darkness of the room is giving me a boost of courage and I don't want to waste it. He swallows. "Not being able to move your legs." I finish my sentence after a pause that has allowed the double meaning in my words to soak in.
I lick my lips slowly, and they're so close to his ear, the back of my tongue brushes against the shell of it. He groans.
"I'm going crazy," he mumbles, and I can feel the rumble of his voice in the hand I've got pressed up on his upper chest.
I chuckle and run my hand down his chest and trail my fingers along the dip in his abdomen. He's hard and lean and I find my fingers tucking beneath the hem of his shirt to touch the smooth, creamy skin of his stomach. At some point he's moved his arm around me and he's got his hand pressed firmly on the skin just above the top of my jeans where my shirt has lifted up with the arch of my back. He's cautiously moving his hand lower, testing the waters for how far I'll allow him to go. I don't stop him, and he finally rests his hand firmly around a butt cheek. I moan into his ear and he grips my flesh just a bit tighter.
My fingers don't stop moving against his skin and pretty soon goosebumps pucker up from the patterns I draw on his stomach. I've let my tongue slip out again and I trace the shell of his ear, and finish with a light bite. His breathing is ragged when he brings his other hand up to my jaw. He turns my head so we're face to face then closes the short distance between us and locks my lips with his.
There's no restraint, no over thinking and no guilt. And it's perfect.
His lips are thin and hard but he moves them with such abandon my toes curl. There's butterflies flapping around in my stomach again and it registers now that it's because of him. He's not the only one going crazy.
I pull away because I need to look into his eyes right now before I'm lost in the moment for good, only to realize he's wearing a pair of sunglasses and I can't see his eyes. In fact I've never seen his eyes and it's something that never bothered me before. But now we've altered our relationship. We've crossed into a level of intimacy that goes hand-in-hand with trust. And those damn black glasses are a big slap in my face.
"Artemis?" He murmurs. His hand that grips my bottom trails up my back. He's carried my shirt up with his hand and the room feels cold against my bare skin.
I run a couple fingers along the frame of his glasses and I feel his body lock up almost instinctively.
"Can I?" I ask him, already sure of what his answer will be.
His jaw clenches.
"Robin?"
"No." He sighs and pulls his hand off my back and his face away from mine. "I'm sorry Art-"
"Don't be. I get it." I move to sit at the edge of the bed, my back to him.
"It's not you Artemis. You know that right?" He runs his fingers along my spine.
"Yeah I know." I say shortly. My voice has grown cold.
"Then what's wrong?" He shifts over, his warm thigh pressing against my lower back. He runs his hand down my arm and his palm is sweaty.
"This is a trust thing right?" I swallow before continuing, "So you don't trust me enough to let me in." His hand stops it's ministrations and pulls away from me.
I crane my neck back to look at him. His head is looking down at his lap, his jaw clenched tight. His entire body looks stiff, save for his hands which are wringing together. And everything about his body language tells me what I need to know.
I stand up from the bed and pace over to his computer, leaning on both arms on the desk. This was all wrong. This was not how it was supposed to go. I had had a revelation. I looked inside myself and found a true and honest emotion for the first time in months and it should have been blissful. Instead I feel even more pain.
"Your ass looks great in those jeans." It's such an odd thing to hear at a time like this, I almost think I've imagined it. I turn my head back and Robins got his head up. "All I wanted to do since you came in today was touch it." He bites his bottom lip.
I turn my head away from him, trying to make sense of what he's saying and what I feel. I like him. Way more than as a friend or a teammate, and up until now I was positive he felt the same way about me.
"And before...that kiss," he continues in a steady tone of voice, "that's all I've ever wanted to do since I first lay eyes on you."
My eyes water up, and I don't fight the single tear that drops out. And I don't say anything. I want to hear him out before I decide anything. He deserves as much.
"But I knew it'd be impossible. Not that you would never feel the same for me, just that, if you ever did, it couldn't work." He pauses and I take that time to turn away from the desk and slowly approach the bed.
"I- I trust you with my life Artemis, but there's these stupid rules and-and I'm terrified of breaking them." His voice gets more defeated with every word, the last one nearly a sob. I crawl onto the bed - my fragile, broken heart thumping in my chest - and carefully slide a leg between his, trying to not shift his injured hip, and straddle him. I lean forward and press my forehead into his. We're close, but the room is so dark I can't see through the glasses covering his eyes.
"All I want is to keep you safe," he mumbles against my lips, "Keep you safe," he whispers a few more times between our mixed, heavy breaths. His hands have made their way to my hips and they burn my skin like an iron.
I shush him and press my lips against his firmly, shutting my eyes over the tears that have continued to fall freely. He doesn't move his lips right away but he brings his hand up to cup my jaw before returning the kiss fervently.
I can't fathom why his incoherent words meant the world to me or why they lead me back into his lap. Maybe it's the pure and raw emotion he spoke with. Or the promise of trust and security.
Maybe it was Dick.
Either way, I decide at this moment in time, right here is exactly where I want to be.
Robin's OOC, but he's supposed to be. I made him seem more… mellow and slow. The way I see it, he's got major muscle damage, so he's on strong pain meds. And those get you loopy, tired, and nauseous. *******EDIT! This still totally stands, plus he's super terrified he's going to loose the girl he's crazy for if he doesn't try and open up. So he's way outta character but that's development!********
It's pretty rushed and short, but I promise the next one will be better and won't be written in an hour and a half.
Leave a review, tell me your thoughts.
~Just Look Up