Athor's note: Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry! I have been fighting the good fight against the internet people, and I am losing. I haven't been able to post because I'm not connected yet, but hopefully I will be soon so you wont have to wait epic ammounts of time for the next chappie. Anyway, thanks for your support (and threats :P) they made me keep struggling onwards. Your reviews are like a drug which I can't get enough of. Hope you all enjoy the next chapter, let me know how much you hate me. love n bubbles xxx
Extra note: Sorry about the age thing (and those of you I lied to about him being 11 O_o) I've fixed it now!! love xxx
Ianto shifted again in the big, cold bed Owen had provided him with. He tried to hold back the sniffles which were escaping from him in small bursts, wishing he could have his adult body back so that he didn't cry at everything. He pulled the covers tighter round himself, bundling them up to snuggle into the shape which vaguely represented a human form, but it wasn't nearly convincing. Jack was nowhere near this lumpy, and the covers smelt distinctly of Owen. Pouting, Ianto closed his eyes and continued trying to hold back his sobs. Eventually, he heard movement in the room next door and after a few moments, the door to his bedroom swung open, casting a beam of light across his bed. Owen stood there, jeans still on but minus a T-shirt, looking at Ianto with a mix of sympathy and irritation on his face.
"Teababy? What's up? You scared of the dark or something?" He asked with the barest hint of mockery as he crossed the threshold and sat down on the edge of the bed. Ianto rubbed at his eyes furiously, wondering what to say to avoid the ridicule he was sure would follow.
"No… I… Doesn't matter." He mumbled, voice thick from crying. Owen sighed, before reaching out to push his hair back off his forehead and rub comforting circles on his back. Ianto was so taken aback by this that he almost stopped crying.
"Well, obviously it does. I mean, the childish part of you is crying. The adult part of you is trying to stop that. Logically, for you to be crying this much, the adult part of you must be at least a little upset. What's wrong? You don't like what Jack did with the kitchen?" Ianto snorted, but this set off a fresh wave of sobs, and he buried his head in the covers again, groaning in frustration.
"Oh, I'm so pathetic!" He growled.
"You're not pathetic. So, mention of Jack made you worse… He upset you?" Owen mused. "Oh God! I am so Sherlock Holmes. You miss him right?" He smiled before remembering that what he was saying was upsetting, then reformed his face to something along the lines of sympathy. Ianto looked up and nodded weakly.
"I don't understand why he… Why he wanted to get rid of me all of a sudden." He sniffled, still attempting to get his breathing under control, and Owen fought not to say 'awww' as his lip wobbled adorably.
"Get rid of you?" Owen asked, confused. He pulled Ianto up to a sitting position. "He didn't want to get rid of you."
"Then why am I here?" Ianto practically wailed. "Why didn't he let me stay with him?"
"I told him you couldn't." Owen admitted blankly. Suddenly, Ianto found he wasn't crying anymore.
"You what?" He asked, incredulous. "Why?"
"I said it wasn't healthy for an eight year old to be sleeping with an adult, and that you needed your own space." He explained. "I mean, c'mon, it's not really on."
"I was fine." Ianto pouted. "Nothing was going on." He practically growled. "I don't even know why we're having this conversation. I ought to be able to sleep on my own, I've been doing it for nearly 25 years. What's wrong with me?" He groaned again, slamming his face into a pillow for good measure. Owen chuckled a little.
"It's not that you're pathetic. The child part of you has sort of latched onto Jack as a father figure, so now that you're no longer sleeping with him, it's like a toddler's reaction to being ripped away from the parents. He's mollycoddled you so much that you instinctively feel unsafe when he's not within reach. It'll pass."
"Wow… I never knew you were a psychologist…" Ianto mused, feeling himself calm a little.
"S'just common sense." Owen replied. "Now, you go to the bathroom and wash your face, I'll make you warm milk, and we'll see if we can't get you to sleep for a decent amount of time." Ianto nodded, and plodded off to the bathroom. "Remember, you'll see him in less than 12 hours anyway." Owen called after him.
Jack paced back to the kitchenette for around the hundredth time that evening. He couldn't sleep, but that wasn't new, he rarely did anyway unless he was lying with someone. He couldn't focus on anything. He'd tried several times to make a cup of tea, not wanting to use the coffee machine again, but had found that he got bored before the kettle had even boiled, and paced off again angrily for another tour of the Hub. He'd stood on the roof several times, trying to lose himself in the blur of traffic moving and the world continuing around his static form. He'd had several nonsensical conversations with Janet, who had almost looked concerned for him last time when he'd started talking about his childhood. He'd been up to visit Myfanwy twice, but he wasn't about to go up there again in a hurry; she'd chased him down last time because he'd woken her up, and she was still stalking him as though she might eat him. He'd spent time in his office attempting to read emails, and looking at old mementoes. Not even pictures of his past could make him focus, and that was odd indeed. He'd tried to settle down in bed at one point, but that wasn't working either. He was restless.
The problem was that he'd let himself get far to used to Ianto being around. It had almost become a sort of routine. They would have a hot drink, eat their dinner, and curl up together in the small space Jack liked to call a bedroom. Jack wasn't one for routine, but he found he quite liked that one. Now, it was gone, and he couldn't seem to settle himself even for a moment. He understood that Owen was right, Ianto needed space, and he couldn't keep sleeping with Jack, especially since puberty was fast approaching, and Jack didn't want to even think about the challenges that would bring with it. He understood that everything that was happening needed to happen, but that sure as hell wasn't going to stop him from throwing an almighty immortal sulk tantrum. He sighed, pouted, ran his hands through his hair and paced restlessly, waiting for morning. It was almost unhealthy how much he wanted to see Ianto again. The boy had really gotten under his skin. He suspected that Ianto had merely eaten with Owen and was now sleeping soundly with that cute, innocent expression on his face. Thinking about the expression only made Jack want him there even more, though, so he tried to focus on something else. If anything was going to work, he supposed it'd have to be memories of Ianto…
Ianto's first day at work had been memorable. He had turned up, all suits and serious expressions, and walked straight into Suzie Costello. Jack had meant to get her out of the way so that he could greet Ianto himself, maybe check him out and flirt a little, and definitely get him settled and relaxed before he had to meet the rest of the vultures Jack liked to affectionately call his team. No such luck. Suzie was immovable, almost as though she had sensed Ianto's imminent arrival. She was up to the tourist office like a shot, and throwing insults in that sarcastic drawl she liked to use which would almost be sexy if it weren't so annoying.
"Oh, look what the cat dragged in. You almost scrub up well. You know that breaking in is the last straw, I'm going to have to wipe your memory." She snarled, as Jack watched breathless over the CCTV, praying that she wouldn't scare away his pretty, interesting new toy. To his immense surprise, Ianto had merely smiled.
"Please, feel free to do just that." He said simply in that sexy welsh lilt that Jack wanted to bottle for himself. "Then maybe I can forget how terrible your security is, and that the pass-code to get into your building really is 'boobies' in an ancient Arcadian dialect." He had followed this with a small smirk, which had certainly melted Jack's insides, and had seemingly nearly done the same to Suzie. She flapped for a second, then smiled wittily.
"Oooh, it jokes too. I'm impressed, for a crazy you certainly know your alien languages, however, the Captain doesn't wear stalkers well, and he doesn't do visits from strangers without appointments, unless they're stunning blondes."
"Oh, it's a good job I'm not a stalker or a stranger, and I have an appointment then, isn't it. For the record, I also have a blonde wig and a stun gun, so I could be a stunning blonde if that's what you'd like, Miss Costello." Jack could have sworn then that Ianto looked up at the hidden CCTV camera and winked. Was he flirting? But the screen wasn't clear enough for him to be sure, and the camera was invisible… He must have been mistaken.
"Well, well, well." Suzie laughed. " He hired you after all." She pressed the buzzer to open the door. "Go on down, I'm sure he'll meet you." Ianto started down the steps, but was surely in earshot when Suzie continued, "Why don't we just let him hire all the staff with his prick, who needs skills to save the world, as long as you give a good blowjob." There was no reply from Ianto, so Jack merely scowled at the screen. Suzie didn't wear jealousy very well, but she was wrong, he wore stalking like the queen wears her crown. He loved it. Flicking the screen off, he bounded down the stairs to meet his new recruit. Who knew that in only seven months' time, he'd be getting that blowjob Suzie had been talking about…
Seven months later…
Ianto looked up at Jack, unsure. He hadn't been lying when he'd told the Captain previously that he had no experience… and he was ridiculously nervous. Jack looked down at him and grinned, a small chuckle escaping him.
"You ok?" He asked, softly, stroking a hand through Ianto's hair.
"Yeah, I… I'm just trying to work out… Where to start…" Ianto murmured, turning a brilliant shade of red. It was all very well doing the touching thing, that was easy, he'd had practice on his own several times, but this was an all new experience, and he was ashamed to admit that he hadn't done his homework… He had no idea what to do. Jack laughed.
"You know you don't have to do this?" He chuckled. "I'm quite happy to fool around like usual." Ianto pulled a face.
"And chicken out? I want to do this… I just have to work out how… How I'm going to fit it in my mouth to start with." He grinned, and Jack collapsed back onto the bed laughing. Ianto scowled from his position settled between Jack's legs, elbows propping him up either side of Jack's hips. "Don't laugh at me!" He smirked, laughing himself now.
"Sorry." Jack replied, doing his best to sober, and waving a hand in the air. "Just… think what you like and try to do it. I promise you can't do anything wrong… unless you try to bite me, in which case I will be quite cross… See there was this one time when I took this woman to bed, or at least I thought she was a woman. Anyway, turned out she was actually a flesh eater and she wanted to eat me whole in the literal sense…"
"Jack…" Ianto interrupted. "Not helping."
"Oh. Sorry. Yeah. Well, just… go with it." He said airily, enjoying the sensation of Ianto merely breathing on his erection.
"Fat lot of help you are!" Ianto chuckled, then decided it was now or never. Clearing his mind, he thought what he liked best, which turned out to be hot chocolate… But that wasn't helping either, so he threw himself in at the deep end by wrapping his hand around the base of Jack's cock and stroking him slowly. Jack mumbled something by way of encouragement, but he didn't hear because he was focusing so had on the fact that he was about to give another man a blowjob. Well, he supposed it would be difficult to give a woman a blowjob, but that was going off track again. Shaking himself, he dipped his head, poked out his tongue, and gently traced the underside of Jack's erection. Jack hissed above him, and he took that as a good sign, repeating the action a few times, before his frayed nerves calmed a little. As he felt himself relax, he decided to be a bit bolder, and moved his hand to lick a line all the way from base to tip, earning him a strangled sort of groan, and a hand in his hair. Grinning, he decided he wasn't so bad at this after all.
"I can tell you're going to challenge my will to resist." Jack mumbled from above him, and he merely smiled in reply before opening his mouth wide enough to envelop a small amount of flesh. "Fuck!" Jack gasped, his hand gripping compulsively at Ianto's hair. "Maybe I'll just shut up and let you.. Ah!" He groaned as Ianto tried sucking experimentally.
"Yes, you just shut up." Ianto replied, pulling back for air, before moving his head to take even more of Jack into his mouth. Jack sighed and twitched above him as he tried different things, and occasionally he gasped or moaned, and offered advice such as, 'if you keep doing that I'm going to come very suddenly' and 'mmmmhh that's nice' and 'Oh God Ianto that's good'. Finally, Ianto picked his head up to look Jack in the eye.
"You're stopping?" Jack asked in a voice that was entirely too high pitched for him.
"Momentarily, yes." Ianto nodded. "I was just going to let you know that I've finished playing now and I'm going to do it properly." He smiled.
"Ok…" Jack grinned. "Do your worst."
"Oh, I will." Ianto returned the grin, but Jack forgot all about it as he dropped his head and nearly did swallow him whole. He gasped and writhed as Ianto applied just the right amount of pressure with his tongue, struck just the right rhythm of movement with his head, and moved his hand up to gently massage Jack's balls.
"God Ianto! Yessss!" He hissed, one hand playing with Ianto's hair as gently as he could manage, the other twisting itself in the sheets. He felt Ianto smile around him as he pulled back to tease with his tongue, and that made him groan again. "Ianto, you have to stop, I'm gonna come…Like… Now!" Jack gasped, desperate for release, but also intent on not giving Ianto a throat-full of come. It seemed Ianto didn't have such worries, though, as he merely brought his hand up to give Jack an extra squeeze, and sucked a little harder. Unable to hold back, Jack came with a shout and moan, and Ianto stilled his hips with a gentle hand, calmly lapping up the mess before crawling up Jack's spent body to nuzzle into his neck.
"Was it Ok?" He asked, face still buried in Jack's clavicle, pressing small kisses to his throat.
"Ok?" Jack gasped, voice hoarse from shouting. "It was awesome." He grinned tilting Ianto's head up to kiss him. "You can give me a repeat performance anytime." He winked, and Ianto laughed and blushed prettily. And that was when the rift alarm went and they had to go and get the device… Which was now ruining Jack's ego.
Back in the present, Jack wasn't sure at what point in his reminiscence he had ended up back in his quarters and touching himself. To be honest, he didn't care, because it gave him something to do other than to think about how lonely he felt.
Dawn came, and Jack found himself back on the roof. As the sun rose, he watched the city wake and smiled. Ianto would be here soon. Well, relatively soon if Owen had anything to do with it. He wondered how things would be now that Ianto was living with Owen. He kind of hoped that the two would bond a little and maybe the bickering would settle down. He hoped Ianto wasn't too comfortable, though. He hadn't looked too fazed last night when Jack had watched him leave… Maybe he had been imagining the insane closeness they had developed over the past few days. Maybe Ianto wasn't really that fond of him. He didn't have time to think about it, anyway, Myfanwy was squawking to be fed, and the computers had already started bleeping at him.
Gwen bumbled into the Hub, grinning like a loon. It was sunny outside, she was wearing a dress, and she had an amazing boyfriend who loved her and had woken her up that morning with a lovely cup of tea in bed and several rounds of toast. Everything was good. She stooped to pick up the post as she passed it, but noticed that there were several packages of varying size and shape which she wouldn't be able to carry downstairs. They were all addressed to Jack… Creating several scenarios in her head, and picking up the letters, she left the parcels on the floor and skipped her way into Jack's office. He was leaning back in his chair, sipping a cup of tea, and eyeing her with an eyebrow raised and a suggestive smirk.
"Morning Gwen." He mumbled. "Nice dress… Makes your legs look hot." She smiled at him and blushed a little.
"Is it your birthday?" She asked, pouting slightly at the thought that he hadn't even told her. He looked confused.
"Er… No… Why?"
"Because there are loads of packages for you in the tourist office… Like twenty or something. I guessed it was your birthday and they were presents…" She grinned, excited at the prospect of twenty lots of bubble wrap.
"Oh. Well, I don't have a birthday, but if I did, it would be in the winter." Jack mused. "Still, I'm not one to turn down gifts!" He leapt to his feet, depositing the tea on his desk. "Let's go see if there's any bubble wrap!" Gwen squeaked with delight and lunged forward, hitting his shoulder.
"TAG! You're it!" She yelled, before racing off towards the tourist office.
"Oh no you don't!" He thundered back before launching himself after her, grinning. She just managed to get up the stairs before he lunged at her, missing by a mile and rugby tackling the railings of the walkway. Laughing her victory, she raced up the stairs whilst he was still righting himself, and skid to a halt, panting, to wait for him to reach the office. When he did, he was laughing too, and rubbing his head. "I'm gonna have a bruise there…" He grumbled. "Whoa…. Not exaggerating then… Lot's of presents." He grinned like a small child. "Maybe I have a secret admirer?"
"Jack, I think you have several secret admirers. Still, we wont know 'til you open them! Here! Start with this one! It's pink!" She handed him a long thin box, and he considered it suspiciously.
"What if it's a parcel bomb?" He mused. "Gwen, hide behind the desk just in case." Laughing, she obeyed, and when she was safely sheltering in Ianto's swivel chair, he untied the big purple bow and lifted the lid of the box.
"What is it? What is it?" She asked in response to the perplexed look on his face.
"It's… A bunch of roses… Red ones." He said, plucking the bouquet from the box with a flourish. "Who buys a man flowers? And I'm definitely more of an orchid kinda guy." Gwen snatched the roses and took a big sniff, before emitting a small noise of glee.
"There's a card!" She squealed.
"Oh?" Jack looked genuinely interested now. "What does it say?" He asked, picking up the next package.
"It saaaays…." There was a small ripping sound from Gwen's direction as she opened the envelope. "It says, 'Dearest, Your eyes are so unfathomably deep, like the never-ending beauty of your soul. Forever yours, O…' Who's O?"
"Umm… I have no idea." Jack said, ripping off the wrapping of his next parcel. "Can you think of anyone who's name begins with an O?" He almost dropped the package as he discovered what was inside.
"Nope… What's that one?" She leaned forward inquisitively.
"You don't wanna know." He replied solemnly, replacing the wrapping and moving to discard the object.
"Oh, c'mon Jack. What is it?" She smirked, poking him.
"Look." He said, showing her. "It's a thong with a picture of my face on… Oh, and there's a note saying, 'I'd love to see you in this, O.'… O is weird." Gwen nodded sagely.
"And the flowers were so romantic too…" She mused. "Oh well, next gift." She picked up a gold parcel.
"You open that one, I'll open this big one. May as well make this a team effort, since it'd take me all day by myself." Jack grinned. "And we haven't even had any bubble wrap yet." He began to remove the tape holding the biggest box closed. Gwen ripped off the brown paper of her gift and cooed.
"Chocolates." She purred. "Expensive chocolates." Jack looked at the box and nodded.
"They're nice, we'll have them with coffee later. Ooh… I've got an ornamental drinks fountain… That's kinda cool…" He stepped back to allow Gwen to examine the box and declare that it was, indeed, cool. "Well, get opening, Miss Cooper, we haven't got all day."
"Sir, yes Sir." She giggled, before picking up another package. Five minutes later, when they had opened all but four of the presents, they had uncovered several varieties of chocolates, a cashmere sweater the colour, supposedly, of Jack's beautiful eyes, more flowers, two pairs of cufflinks, an expensive pen, and, most bizarrely, a leather fetish outfit in a size too small for Jack to even contemplate, Gwen paused in her unwrapping to let out a squeal of childish glee.
"What? What is it? Is it a furbie? A kitten? A balloon?" Jack asked, almost excited.
"I found bubble wrap!" She declared, holding the object high. Jack looked at her, a bizarre expression on his face.
"Gwen, is that what I think it is inside of the bubble wrap?" He questioned with a frown.
"Er… Dunno, what do you think it is? It looks like some kind of ornament…"
"I think it's more likely to be a sex toy…"
"Really?" She chuckled. "Well, Only one way to find out…" She ripped the tape off the bubble wrap, and unrolled it to reveal what was, indeed, a pink sparkly vibrator, and a note saying, 'Use this and think of me, O'. The two of them looked at the offending item, disgusted.
"Seriously?" Jack asked, running a hand through his hair. "O has issues."
"Yeaah…" Gwen confirmed, putting the present on the table. "Wonder who O is…"
"Who knows." Jack sighed, opening another present, a pair of slippers with 'J&O' embroidered on them. "But whoever it is, I think they have too much time and too little sense…" He laughed as Gwen held up her latest find, a bath robe to match the slippers. "Well, Only one present left…" He smirked. "You wanna do the honours?"
"No, you open it." Gwen smiled. "Might be another gross one."
"Hmm… Hope not." Jack mused. Still, he ripped of the wrapper and flinched. "Dear God!" He groaned. "It's a bondage kit… An expensive, leather bondage kit…." Gwen snickered annoyingly, and Jack covered his face with his hands. "Guess I'd better read the note…" He picked up the envelope and ripped it open.
"What does it say?" Gwen asked, eyes like saucers as she saw the terrified look on Jack's face.
"Ngh!" Jack squeaked, handing her the letter and looking distraught. Gwen took it and braced herself. In fact, it wasn't so bad as the others, just said, 'Hope you like this and all the other presents, Owen.'
"HOLD ON!" She yelled, re-reading… Yes, it did in fact say 'Owen' at the end. "No way! No fucking way!" She gasped, voice fairly high pitched.
"I think," Jack began, only to be interrupted.
"That sick, sick bastard!" Gwen growled. "I knew there was something off about him."
"Gwen…" Jack interrupted. "You don't seriously think that it was Owen who sent these?" He asked, incredulous of her stupidity.
"Of course, he signed the note, didn't he."
"The notes are all typed, Gwen."
"It's his name on the end, isn't it?"
"Sure… But…" Suddenly, Jack had a bitch of an idea. Fun was to be had by all parties if he just pretended that he didn't suspect that this was a prank with Ianto's name all over it. "Well, I never thought he felt that way."
"Jack, everyone feels that way about you." Gwen smiled knowingly. "You'll have to confront him…"
"NO!" Jack gasped in mock protest. "I couldn't embarrass him like that. I'll have to be careful not to crush his feelings. I'll talk to him in private later… Who knows, there might be something there for the both of us…" He smiled sheepishly at Gwen, who was looking at him in much the same way that she had looked at the giant slug they had encountered last month.
"Seriously?" She asked, as though the very idea were absurd.
"Seriously." Jack nodded, trying his hardest not to laugh at her gullibility. "We'd best clear this up so that he doesn't know that you know…" Gwen nodded, and they set about clearing up the office and hiding the evidence.
Tosh woke with a very bad crick in her neck. It was, she supposed, the price she had to pay for sleeping curled up, half on top of Owen. She had snuck into the house late last night and they had had perfect amazing and completely silent sex. Then she had fallen asleep in what she now considered to be the worst position possible. She turned her attention to why she had woken. Owen was snoring loudly enough to get an echo. Scrunching her face up, she wriggled free of his embrace and found her phone from her pocket. It was 7:30, she had no interest in going back to sleep. Instead, she crept into the en-suite and switched the shower to burning hot, rejoicing in the feeling of the searing water washing away the ache in her shoulders.
Ianto woke up for about the millionth time, and immediately looked at the clock, again. It was 7:30, which meant he could plausibly think about getting up without looking like an idiot. That was when he realised that Owen was doing a fair impression of a fog horn in the next room. It didn't look like they'd be going to work any time soon. Sighing, he plopped out of the bed and into the expensive carpet before padding towards the kitchen blearily. When he got there, he did several double takes. Tosh was standing in front of the hob making what looked to be pancakes and humming to herself in a self-satisfied sort of way. Ianto grinned and slid up onto a stool at the breakfast bar, catching her attention, and she smiled at him and slid him a plate with two pancakes on.
"Morning, Ianto." She trilled, "Did you sleep well?"
"Umm…" Ianto mumbled sheepishly. "Not really, no."
"Well, you'll get used to it… Want some breakfast juice?" She asked, padding over to the fridge and pondering the several cartons of juice on the shelf.
"Yes please. Are you ok Tosh?" He watched her carry the juice stiffly back to the counter. "It's just that you're holding yourself funny."
"Mmmmhh." She nodded, mouth full of pancake. "Slept funny."
"Oh, I see… You should tell Jack, he gives really good massages." Ianto grinned, and Tosh looked at him searchingly.
"Are you mad? He'd only end up groping me or something. I'll make Owen do it. After all, it was his arm that gave me a stiff neck." She pouted adorably and rubbed her neck, and Ianto chuckled, then decided his pancakes were going to go soggy, and began to eat them in earnest. "Anyway, since Sir Snore-a-lot is going to be out of it for at least another two hours, I thought I'd bring you into the Hub with me and save you the mind-numbing effects of his surround sound television set-up. If you want to get dressed once you've eaten, we can be there by 8:30 I should imagine…" Ianto nodded, still stuffing his face with pancake, which was decidedly delicious.
Once showered and dressed, Ianto bounded through the flat, down the stairs and into Tosh's waiting car. They grinned at each other as he buckled up, and she started the engine before pulling off carefully. Ianto realised at that moment why it was that Tosh didn't drive the SUV- she drove slower than his grandmother. He settled into his seat for the long (usually only ten minute) drive to the Hub and watched the city go by.
Gwen watched Ianto and Tosh come in on the CCTV, but it barely registered. Her mind was swimming with the fact that Owen had sent all of those 'gifts', and that Jack was even considering his obvious proposition. It just didn't bear thinking about, but it was the only thing she could think about. She was supposed to be checking the hospital records for the night to weed out any possible weevil attacks to be retconned. She wasn't having much luck, considering she hadn't even opened the program yet. She smiled weakly and made a noise of agreement to Tosh's hello and waved back at Ianto, who was adorable in a baby blue long-sleeved top and black combats, then she went back to staring into space and contemplating the trauma of it all. Working for Torchwood was hard sometimes.
As Ianto followed Tosh through the door of the tourist office, he was struck by a sudden fear. What if Jack hadn't missed him at all? What if he was just being an idiot? And why were there scraps of wrapping paper and bubble wrap all over the place? Oh… The parcels he ordered on the internet so long ago must have arrived… That didn't bode well for his health if Owen found out. The anxiety made him unable even to form the word 'hello' for Gwen, and he waved instead. This, however, didn't seem to be a problem, as Gwen looked to be more occupied with pulling a face like she was severely constipated and staring into space. He felt his heart hammering as he pushed open the kitchenette door, and was almost ludicrously relieved to find that it was empty. As his adrenaline built, he set about making a coffee. He would gauge Jack's mood from the reception of his morning drink, and would adjust his own actions accordingly. He wasn't about to give Jack the satisfaction of looking like a clingy four-year-old. Especially not when he was now verging on eleven! Shaking as little as possible, he loaded four hot drinks onto a tray and set about delivering them.
Jack watched Ianto arrive with Tosh, and all of a sudden, didn't feel so good about the boy returning. He didn't look fazed by his night away from Jack. What if he was making a mountain out of a mole hill? What if Ianto really wasn't fussed? What if he really wanted to get away from Jack and this was his excuse? Jack Harkness rarely felt anxious about anything, but he couldn't help but fidget and fiddle with the things on his desk as he watched Ianto make the coffee and put it on his tray. He decided that he would gauge Ianto's mood when he delivered the morning drinks, and adjust his actions accordingly. There was no way he was going to let Ianto think he was some possessive, lovesick cretin. Unaware he was holding his breath, he watched as Ianto offloaded Gwen's drink onto her desk… His turn next. He waited as Ianto climbed the stairs, knocked more from habit than actual necessity, and pushed open the door. At the last minute, he realised that he looked like he was waiting for Ianto, and that wouldn't do, so he flipped open a file and pretended to read, hoping that Ianto wouldn't notice that it was upside down.
"Morning, Sir." Ianto drawled in his unbroken voice. "Latte for you." Jack looked up. Ianto looked the epitome of calm. He even offered a small smile as he placed the drink down on the table. Clearing his throat, Jack quashed the surge of burning rejection he felt and took the cup.
"Thanks Ianto. Good night?" He enquired, eyebrow raised in what he hoped was a relaxed look of enquiry (and turned out to be very convincing). Ianto frowned, then smiled sweetly.
"Once I learned to drown out Owen's snoring, yes, Sir, it was." Nodding, Jack took a big swig of coffee, and nearly dropped to his knees and begged Ianto to come back. Damn, that boy had some talent. Ianto offered him one last smile before turning to go, and closing the door behind him. As the door clicked closed, Jack's heart sank. His Ianto was all grown up, and he didn't need Jack anymore. It hurt more than it should have, but he wasn't going to let it beat him.
Ianto let the door click shut behind him, and allowed the weight of his deflation settle upon him. Jack had barely even looked at him, it was obvious that he was happy to be free of looking after Ianto. Sighing, he replaced his tray, picked up a bin bag, and began to sort out the mess that was the Hub.
Tosh sat at her desk, switched on her computer and waited for it to load. She had an odd sensation in her lower gut, bordering on painful. It was almost like period pains, but not… Suddenly, she sat bolt upright, gripping the table, hard. Period pains? She was due to start her period yesterday! She was never a second late, and she had been sleeping with Owen for days now… Admittedly they had used condoms, but that didn't change anything. She realised with a jolt that she must be pregnant. Feeling suddenly sick, which wasn't helping to diffuse her theory, she dashed to the toilets in shock.
Owen woke slowly, and wondered why Tosh was gone. Then he found the note and read it bleary-eyed, and managed to understand that she had gone to work and taken Ianto with her. He gazed at the clock groggily, and somehow managed to discern that it was some time after ten. Groaning his disapproval at being awake at such an hour, he stumbled into his bathroom and began the process of becoming awake. When he eventually stumbled into the Hub at around 11:10, it seemed to be deserted. A strange scrabbling noise from behind the water tower took him by surprise, and he was about to draw his gun when he saw an even more gangly-looking Ianto push himself upright and into view. The kid smiled at him sheepishly.
"Forgot the time." He shrugged, "Want coffee?" Owen grunted his approval of this notion and bumbled over to his desk, throwing himself into the chair, and noticing that Gwen was now in the room, bright red, and looking at him very oddly.
"'Mornin' Gwen." He muttered, and she squeaked, mumbled something about paperwork, and dashed out of the room. Considering this slightly odd, but not too unusual for Gwen, Owen turned his attention to finding Tosh. She was nowhere to be seen. "You seen Tosh?" He asked as Ianto handed him an espresso.
"Not for a while. She scurried off in the general direction of the labs earlier though." Ianto offered. "Are you done with the toxicity report on the chemical weaponry I gave you? I'd like to file it."
"Er…" Owen blinked, wondering if he even knew any of those words. "S'pose so, It's on my desk somewhere." Ianto smirked and rummaged 'til he found the file he was looking for, then disappeared, leaving Owen to contemplate the difficult choice of whether to attempt work, or go distract Tosh. Unfortunately, he never got the chance to decide, as Jack entered the room, a small smile on his face, and winked lecherously.
"Morning Golden Boy. Sleep well?" He purred, coming to rest on Owen's desk.
"Wish I still were sleeping." Owen grumbled, aware that Gwen had slipped back into the room and was staring at him intently.
"Thought you and I might chat in private later, I know there are some… issues… you want to raise with me." Jack continued, grinning dirtily and adding a wink for good measure. Owen smirked despite himself, and wondered how Jack knew he was going to ask him for some time off with Tosh.
"Sounds good to me. You just let me know when and where, after all, you're the boss." At this, Gwen squeaked and ran out of the room, earning her a puzzled glance from both Jack and Owen, and Jack chuckled to himself.
"She's an oddball eh?" He mused, pushing himself up from the desk. "Wonder what's got her knickers in a twist this time…" He winked once more, then propelled himself up to his office, leaving Owen confused, and more than a little concerned. He decided to ignore the fact that Gwen was obviously in love with him, and went in search of Tosh.
Ianto sighed as he threw the last of the black bags in the incinerator. He now had nothing to do to distract him from the fact that Jack was everywhere he went and wasn't interested in him. He'd even seen and overheard Jack flirting with Owen all day. On the plus side, so far Owen hadn't killed Ianto because of the 'presents'. Suddenly and violently, the notion hit Ianto that Jack might be flirting with Owen because he thought the presents really were from him. So that was why Jack was ignoring him, he thought he had a chance of getting into Owen's pants, so Ianto was no longer important. As he shuffled back into the main Hub, he looked up to Jack's office. Jack was standing in the window surveying the team as usual, and he caught Ianto's eye and nodded politely before his gaze moved to settle on Owen. Deciding he wasn't quite ready to accept that, Ianto turned tail and fled to the archives.
Jack stood and surveyed his team with interest. Gwen now seemed to be so disturbed that she had started twitching on occasion when Owen went near her. Owen kept going in and out of the room looking increasingly puzzled, and was now at Tosh's desk looking at the CCTV for the firing range. Tosh was nowhere to be seen, and had been gone for some time. Jack assumed she was in the lab playing with her toys. A movement in his peripheral vision alerted him to Ianto's entrance and he offered the boy a small nod, before his attention was drawn back to Owen, who punched the air in triumph then set off towards the laboratory. When he looked back to Ianto, all he saw was the door to the archives closing behind him. Concerned that Ianto had left so quickly, and bored out of his mind without the usual banter they shared, he left his office and quietly followed into the archives.
Ianto went straight to his favourite section. The big fat pile of yet-to-be-sorted junk. It always took his mind off things to come and tinker with all of these alien artefacts until he could classify them. Settling himself in the battered leather armchair he had had installed for comfort, he grabbed a spherical blue thingy and began to examine it intensely. Unfortunately, the blue merely reminded him of the colour of Jack's favourite shirt, so he tossed it into the pile and folded his arms, huffing slightly. He was interrupted in his mini strop by quiet laughter from the shadows. Jack stepped forward, a smile on his face, and picked up the orb, studying it briefly.
"It's a nightlight." He said simply, before twisting it in two, causing it to illuminate the room in a soft blue glow. "I had one when I was… your age actually." He grinned. Ianto couldn't help the small smile and the sarcastic remark, it was just too natural…
"You know, not many people would admit to being scared of the dark aged twenty five." He smirked. Jack screwed his face up.
"Very funny. I meant when I was ten." He settled himself on the armrest of the chair and looked down at Ianto, and odd expression on his face. "Why are we doing this?" He asked softly, letting his hand fall to ruffle Ianto's hair.
"Doing what?" Ianto asked, looking up at him.
"This…" Jack said, gesturing between them. "Pretending not to care." He looked into the distance for a moment then back to Ianto. "I didn't sleep last night…"
"You never sleep, Jack." Ianto smiled weakly, then dropped his attempt at humour. "Nor did I."
"I know that you can't stay with me, but… Maybe if I set up a room or something, you could at least stay at the Hub?" Jack tried, looking a little nervous.
"It would certainly be preferable to Owen's snoring…" Ianto grinned. "But will you make me pancakes as good as Tosh's?" Jack laughed at him.
"For you, baby, I'd order pancakes in from Australia every morning."
"You know, I'm not sure if they make very good pancakes there…"
"It's the principle, Ianto…" Jack frowned at him.
"Yeah… I know." Ianto grinned, pushing himself up to wrap his arms round Jack's middle and snuggle into his chest.
"So… Hot chocolate at six then?" Jack asked, lifting Ianto to squeeze him gently before setting him on the floor.
"It's a date." Ianto grinned.
"Now, now, less of that." Jack laughed. "Don't want me getting even more discredited as a sexual deviant."
"No, we wouldn't, would we." Ianto nodded with a smile. "Back to work?"
"Back to work." Jack agreed, taking Ianto's hand and walking up the stairs to the main Hub with him. "And if you get the time, I could murder a cappuccino."
"I'll just go see what everyone else wants." Ianto replied, giving Jack' hand one last squeeze before he wandered off towards the labs in search of Owen and Tosh. What Ianto found was a little more unexpected. Tosh and Owen seemed to be in the middle of a very serious conversation. He couldn't help but eavesdrop.
"I know that's what you're trying to do…" Owen was saying, eves on the floor as he sat beside Tosh on the lab table.
"Owen, I'm not trying to break up with you…" Tosh replied softly, taking Owen's hand. "It's just… difficult to say this, I feel so stupid."
"How could I ever think you were stupid?" Owen asked, incredulous.
"Well, Okay… I suppose I'll just come out with it…" Tosh lifted her gaze to meet his anxiously. "I think I'm pregnant." She whispered, voice shaking.
"What?!" Owen gasped, gripping her hands.
"Well, I was supposed to start my period, but I haven't. I'm never late, Owen, and then I threw up twice this morning and I feel like I have period pains but I don't."
"Fuck…" Owen breathed. "I mean, I guess… Well… It's unexpected but…. Y'know… Whatever you do… I'll… Y'know…" He mumbled, looking at the floor again, and Ianto noticed that Tosh had tears in her eyes, and that's when he spoke up. Stepping into the room, he cleared his throat.
"Sorry…" He began awkwardly. "Couldn't help overhearing you… Er… Tosh, I don't know how to say this, but, well, you aren't due to start your period until next week…" Both Tosh and Owen stared at him open-mouthed, until Tosh found the words.
"How?" Ianto just shrugged.
"It's my job to know everything. Why do you think you automatically get camomile tea three days before? And paracetamol on your desk in the morning during… And there's always chocolate in the fridge… Of course, it doesn't mean you aren't pregnant, but you still aren't due for a while…" Ianto felt his face burning as he bumbled his way through the speech. Tosh's smile grew as he listed all the thing he did for her and Gwen once a month.
"I never thought about it… But you really do look after us eh?" Tosh smiled, leapt off the table, and bent down to kiss Ianto on the forehead. "Thank you Ianto." She turned around and held her hand out to Owen. "Probably a false alarm then." Owen who still looked like 5000 volts had just been passed through him, stumbled to his feet and allowed himself to be led towards the main Hub. Ianto walked after them, deciding Owen needed a strong brandy from Jack's office, and Tosh needed green tea. Gwen, as usual, would have a latte. Smiling to himself, he popped into the kitchenette and began making the drinks.
Gwen tried again to focus on her work. It was very difficult, though, when she was suspicious that Jack and Owen were at that very moment having sex in Jack's office. They had been in there for twenty minutes already, and she was sure Owen was drunk. Ianto came over with a cup of tea, and she stopped him before he left.
"Ianto…" She wheedled. "What's Owen doing in Jack's office?" Ianto turned and frowned at her, tilting his head to the side.
"I think he's asking for some time off for him and Tosh… He wants to take her on a surprise romantic holiday…" Gwen's eyes widened.
"But he was coming onto Jack earlier…" She mused. "I'm not supposed to tell anyone, but this morning loads of parcels arrived for Jack, and they were from Owen, and there were all sorts of things like chocolate and flowers… And he sent love notes… And, what's worse… Sex toys…" Gwen expected shock. She expect revulsion. She even expected anger. What she didn't expect was hysterical laughter. "Ianto! It isn't funny. Jack was seriously considering the proposition. I think they're having sex." At this, Ianto physically collapsed to the floor, holding his stomach and laughing uncontrollably. After a few seconds, he managed to control himself, and in between giggles, asked,
"Gwen, do you seriously believe that Jack would do that? Also, that Owen would spend that much money on anyone? Or that he would send someone love notes?" Gwen looked very confused, so he continued. "I sent those notes. It was me. I used Owen's credit card number. It's a prank. And Jack is playing on your gullibility." Ianto laughed again. "Is that why you've been so funny all day? Oh, Gwen. Drink your tea, and give Jack a punch when you see him." He turned to go, still laughing and mumbling to himself, "Think they're having sex… God, one of these days I'm going to die of laughter…"
Gwen was left confused and feeling abused. Not much different to a regular day at work, then. Shrugging, she mused that it was one less thing to worry about, and went back to the hospital records. In time, she discovered the funny side of things, and by the time Owen and Jack finished their meeting at 4:30, Gwen was printing off a list of possible weevil victims, and laughing inanely. Owen glanced at her, noted the look she was giving him, and inwardly certified her insane.
"Right, Jack, I'll be off. Call me if you need me." He said cheerily, stepping through the iron cage towards the tourist office.
"Oh, Owen, Jack wants to thank you for your gifts." Gwen giggled. Jack paled and immediately padlocked the cage so that Owen was locked the other side, then checked that Ianto was as far away as possible. Owen looked confused.
"What gifts?"
"Oh, you know, the chocolates, flowers and sex toys that you paid for on your card…" Gwen smirked. "They were really thoughtful." Jack looked strained. Owen's face went through several shades of red, and settled on a purple colour.
"TEABOY!" He roared, lunging at the metal cage. "Let me out of here Harkness! I want to kill him."
"Ummm… No." Jack offered. "Go home… Cool off… Threaten his life tomorrow. I've already reimbursed you for the stuff." Owen growled one last growl, and turned on his heel, stomping up the stairs. Jack turned and frowned at the room. "Right, Gwen, go retcon the weevil victims then go straight home. Tosh, go calm Owen down, and have a good night. Ianto… With me." He grinned. Ianto nodded and followed Jack to the kitchenette, settling back into his nightly routine of making cocoa, and grinning smugly whenever Jack's back was turned.