My parents' and my relationship wasn't all hugs and kisses. I think they tried hard for it to be since neither of them had the best parents growing up, but every once and a while we would fight.
Last summer was once of those times. All of the wolves were in the house and it was crowded. So to get away from it all Mom and Dad decided that it would be a good time for a road trip. I was sitting in the backseat of our truck listening to music on our way back home from Colorado. I was staring out the window watching the world go by and wishing it would take me with it. Dad tapped on my knee. I pulled out my earphones. "Your mother is trying to talk to you."
I waited for her to start talking. "Hey, Clare-Bear, when we get home I think that I'll have you start working in the restaurant. That way I could teach you to cook a little bit and I could stop making you dinners." She looked through the rearview mirror to wink at me.
"I'm not you." I mumbled under my breath. She asked me to speak up so I did. "I'm not you Mom and I never will be. I don't get numbers and nonfiction and all of the stuff you like. Same goes for you Dad I can't sing, you've heard me, so stop pushing those stupid singing lessons." I don't know why I said all that. Maybe it was the heat of the moment or the fact that I had been stuck in a car for ten hours but I snapped.
"Don't you dare talk to your mother like that young lady," My father said. His eyes changed from their constant sad to mad in one second flat.
"You know I'm right. All you do is make me into the person that you want me to be. Just because you two had crappy ass parents, that had nothing to do with your lives, doesn't mean that you guys have to be watching over every step in mine. Just leave me alone."
Dad's eyes turned somber and Mom wiped a tear from her face. She never cried. Ever. "We do. Every winter."
The rest of the car ride was silent. Me feeling horrible about what I had just said and them, I'm sure, thinking of about three hundred ways they could punish me.
Once we got home I stayed in the car while they got out and went inside. I stayed in there for what felt like years when finally they both came back out. Mom opened the door. "You're so stubborn." I crossed my arms over my chest trying not to show her that I already felt defeated.
"You know we're not mad at you, Bug," Dad said using my old childhood nickname.
"You're not?" My hazel eyes flecked with gold widened in disbelief. I had been so cruel, how could they forgive me?
"You're everything we've got," Dad started because he was better with words. "Yes, we're disappointed in you but we're not mad."
"I'm still sorry." I looked down at my hands curled in my lap. "I was rude and out of line and wrong." I stared up at Mom and Dad. They both look so calm and happy and everything that meant home. "You guys are the best parents ever and-" I had to stop to wipe a tear from my eye.
Mom stroked my hair and kissed the trail that the tear had made down my face. Dad smiled softly holding my hands in his. Together we walk inside and I feel oddly at peace. I am home.
"Clare. Clare. Earth to Clare." Poppie coaxes waving a hand in front of my face.
I come back to the moment and notice the waitress staring at me waiting to take my order. "Uh- I'll just take some green tea. Thanks." I close the menu and give it to her as she walks away.
"You were doing that whole," Wes stares at a point just past my head and opens his mouth just slightly, "thing again."
I mumble sorry and take a sip of water. It's icy cold and I feel it all the way down my stomach.
"Clare your birthday is next week and I'm going to make it the best sixteenth birthday you've ever had." Poppie says smiling.
"Well it better be seeing that it is my only sixteenth birthday," I point out to her.
"Okay so this is what I was thinking…" Poppie starts to talk but I don't listen. Instead I watch Wes and Poppie interact. I watch the way her fingers deftly move across his forearm. I watch the way he nuzzles his nose into Poppie's neck making her giggle lightly but continue on with her conversation. Their actions remind me so much of everything I'd grown up around and wanted that I had to look away.
Poppie continues talking and talks right up until the bill comes. I hug her before leaving and tell her that I'll see them both later. As I walk outside the cold hits me with a slap. I slide up against the wall using it to keep my balance. My stomach churns and for one horrible moment I think that the green tea will make a surprise visit. But just as I think that I'll lose myself for good, Isabel pulls up in her SUV. I run to the door and hop in blowing on my hands to warm them up. I notice Isabel's nostrils flare probably smelling the fact that I distinctly smell like wolf. "You forgot your jacket in the car." She gestures to the coat on the back seat. She drives away and neither of us mention my almost shift again.